Snow Wolf: Wolves of Willow Bend (Book 9) (17 page)

The offer flattered him. Her loyalty belonged to Mason, and if he didn’t think about it too hard it didn’t bother him. The desire to keep his secrets warmed him, but it could tear her apart. “I will not hold you to that conflict of loyalties,” he told her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. The offer alone a far more valuable gift than he could measure.

“You can, though.” She lifted her head and looked at him. Her swollen lips still as beautiful to him as when she’d wrapped them around his cock. The depth of passion she possessed could take him years to explore. “I want to do that for you.”

Her damp hair fell over her shoulder, brushing his fingers and he savored the touch of it. The admission she would be willing to compromise herself a sweet, if dangerous offer. It told him she was nowhere near as unaffected by the desire to mate as she’d expressed. Mates owed loyalty to each other above all. “You wanting to is enough, Dove.”

“Like I said earlier, the potential of getting in trouble is half the fun.” Though she kept her tone light, it didn’t neuter the devotion she’d shown him. Loving her was so easy. “That said, you don’t have to tell me.”

“I don’t have to do a lot of things, Dove.” The name truly did suit her, whether she believed him or not. “I’m debating the most efficient way to get my message across to them.”

“Huh…not sure what flower says
fuck off and die
.” The deadpan delivery jerked him from the dark twist in his thoughts and he laughed. Yes, so easy to love. Grinning, she settled her head against his shoulder and continued to pet his abs.

“I hadn’t considered flowers.” Still chuckling, he stretched until her leg slipped onto his thigh and he could slide his leg between hers.
Mine
. The possessiveness belonged to him as much as she did. “The problem is not what to send, the problem is finding the correct one and making sure I never have to respond again.”

“Would you do to them what they have done to you?” No judgment echoed in her query, but he paused regardless.

“Kill the innocent?” Attacking a pack’s children, its vulnerable, always put them on the defensive. Assassinating the strong, and most often all the males, allowed another pack to claim the territory and the women left behind. Still, eradicating them all meant no one grew up to become an enemy. It was an ancient fact of war. No matter its place in history, however, it did not make it any less ugly. “I would like to believe I wouldn’t.”

“So you haven’t discounted it as a method you might use?” She wiggled, then rolled onto her belly and crawled over until she could lay across him. Her chin rested on folded hands over his breastbone. The position put her on top, and vulnerable, should anyone burst in the room. Quelling the instinctive need to roll her onto her back so he could take any potential hits, he studied the genuine curiosity in her eyes.

“War is rarely pretty. I would like to think I’m not a wolf who could shed the blood of those who are caught in a conflict, but the reality is—they would be caught in the middle whether I put them there or not.” Catching a lock of her damp hair, he twined the sandy blonde around his finger. “Why do you think the packs created the Enforcers to begin with?”

“To police the Lone Wolves? To give the more dominant among them something to do because they weren’t constrained by a pack?”

“Yes and no.” Still mulling the rest, he watched her eyes. As guarded as she was, she never hid her feelings from her eyes. He had to wonder if she was aware of how much she gave away? “Lone Wolves have existed since the first pack was formed. Not everyone is suited to a pack lifestyle or to following an Alpha.” If he had not won his right to lead the Yukon, he didn’t know if he’d willingly follow another. “In the old days…”

“…when you were a boy?” The tart response had his lips twitching, but he ran a hand down to her sumptuous ass and delivered a light swat. Her impudent grin grew and her eyes softened in the same instance.

“
Before
I was born, Dove.
Before
.” His protest only served to deepen her humor, apparently, because she laughed. The musical sound was worth any poke at his ego. Tempted to play with her ass some more, he curved his palm over the part he’d slapped—in part to cool the heat and in part simply to touch the softness of her skin. “War between packs hasn’t been fought in your lifetime and only touched upon once in mine. But, in previous centuries, disagreements over territory, over mates—over anything, really—could erupt, and the innocent were always caught in the crossfire. While getting two Alphas to agree on anything is a challenge, it is the rare Alpha who will not want to see the vulnerable protected. Even the vulnerable of an opposing pack.”

“But it still happens.”

He nodded. “Yes, it still happens as it happens in any war fought, be it with wolves or humans. There are those not suited to war, those who wouldn’t wage it even if they were capable, and those who cannot fight. The charge of the Enforcers is first and foremost the defense of the packs. They act as custodians for the Lone Wolves as part of the defense of the packs.”

“I get that. It’s part of why Julian came. The issue with the Russians is an Enforcer problem, too.”

“Yes,” Diesel traced the curve over her buttock. Her muscles remained loose, though another smile flirted about her lips. “In particular because they are threat to the packs. Pay attention to the wording, however. They are charged with the defense of the packs…”

“…but not the Alphas.”

“Precisely.” It was a very fine distinction. “It is why an Alpha challenge demands no outside interference and the rules of that combat are well-established.”

“Yes, if someone enters our territory and declares Alpha challenge we escort them to the Alpha.”

“Escort, but not confront.”

“I know.” She made a face. “It’s punishable by death to interfere or at best expulsion. But if a challenger is attacking our people…”

“Then you act accordingly. It is entirely possible the lieutenant came here to challenge me.” Possible, not probable.

Dove made a face. “I interfered.”

“Pfft,” he dismissed the concern immediately. “He didn’t declare shit, sweetheart. All he did was lunge out of the shadows to attack. You had every right to assist me in the combat—not to mention, you were magnificent.”

A blush pinkened her cheeks and she glanced down, an air of shyness to her. “Thank you. You really didn’t need me, but I couldn’t let him just attack you without helping.”

Tracing a finger along her cheek, he marveled at the way she took the compliment. Had he not told her how well she’d handled herself? “Never denigrate what you have to offer. In every combat, there is an element of chance. A lucky strike, a miscalculated dodge…it only takes one claw or tooth in the wrong artery to end a battle. You fought not only with grace, but with intelligence. You didn’t intervene or get in my path, yet you harassed him and kept him off balance. It was a thing of beauty to see.”

“Well, I don’t have poetry to describe you, so I’ll stick with my earlier assessment.” She pushed higher against him then kissed him soundly. “You’re a badass.”

Perhaps.
He hadn’t ever considered himself such. For her? To keep her? To protect her? To see that gorgeous smile and hold her in his arms? He’d burn down the world. “We shall have to work on you accepting compliments.”

“I can take a compliment.” Her blush removed the conviction from her protest.

“Not really, no. However, for someone so skilled and valuable, I shall endeavor to compliment you daily until you learn to accept them for what they are.”

“Besides a way to change the subject, what are they?”

Definitely intelligent and savvy, though he meant every word. “They are the truth, Dove. And, my apologies, I had not intended to change the subject. I have no answers for what troubles me.”

“You can’t just let the Enforcers handle it?”

No, he couldn’t. “If they were handling it, three packs wouldn’t have faced attacks.” Pressing a finger to her lips, he quieted whatever response she had been about to make. “If they
could
handle it, I trust Julian would have already done so. He is not a man to waste time or effort. In truth, no one knows precisely where the attacks are coming from. That means they have to deal with the information after the fact. The wolves who came here are dead. We have only a small amount of information. Does that mean more are coming? I can’t ignore that threat, nor can I overlook the potential that they may go after Mason’s pack or Serafina’s. I cannot worry for that, because I’m not there to defend them and they’re quite capable of handling it themselves.”

“But you just said accidents can happen and the element of chance…”

“Precisely. It is always in play. A lucky strike, a mistake—the death of a mate is a very big distraction, and one that could serve the invisible enemy well.”

Dove paled, and her eyes grew huge. Diesel wanted to kick himself.

“I do not believe they will target your brother,” he assured her, even as he wrapped his arms around her. This time, he did tumble her onto her back. Covering her with his body, he wanted to show her she was safe. “I know he is mated to Serafina…”

“They’re all in the firing line, though,” she admitted quietly. “Linc, because he’s the mate to an Alpha, A.J., because he is Mason’s second and if there is a fight, he’ll be right there. And Ty? Ty’s off with Claire in Sutter Butte. She’s damn capable in a fight, and I don’t doubt for an instant that Ty wouldn’t be right there at her side.”

She swallowed, the convulsing of her throat pulling at every protective instinct he possessed. Though she had not included herself on that list, Diesel knew his need for her made her a target. If—no, when—he claimed her publically, their enemies would understand harming her could remove him from the equation. Cradling her face in his hands, he nuzzled her with a kiss. “I will do everything in my power to prevent that being an issue.” No sooner had he uttered the declaration than he recognized the absolute truth in it. That truth decided him.

“I adore that you are promising me that, but you can’t…you’re here. And they are in other packs…”

Did his mate not understand the lengths he would go to for her?

“I can if I go to Russia and take the bastards out at the source.”

“
Y
ou can’t go
to Russia,” Ranae repeated the same sentiment she’d been arguing since Diesel brought up the idea in bed. She followed him from the bedroom as he stalked down the hall toward the kitchen.

“It is a solution that offers us the maximum advantage.” The calmness with which he stated the idea baffled her.

“It’s insane. You’d be heading into enemy territory without any idea of your actual target.”

Opening the cupboard, he pulled out a couple of glasses then reached for the whiskey. “I will not take your lack of faith in my abilities to heart or as an insult.”

“Oh, please. I’m not insulting you.” Her heart raced too damn fast, and she put her hands on her hips. One of the lessons Collin and Zane drilled into her Hunter training included getting her temper under control. Deep breaths brought her rebellious heart to heel.

Diesel filled the glasses then held one out to her. “Don’t rein yourself in, Dove.”

Lover or not, she was the also the representative of Willow Bend
. Discipline. Focus. Calm.
She needed all of those elements to handle the situation at hand.
When in doubt, reason it out.
Her mother’s words echoed in her mind.
Worst case scenario, punch them in the face.
Linc’s advice sounded better, considering the situation, but far less likely to earn her the desired result.

Flicking a look at him, she accepted the glass. “As I said, I’m not insulting you. The choice to go to Russia seems imprudent as it would leave your pack vulnerable and may earn future reprisals from packs we’re not already dealing with.”

“Few if any would dare come here…”

Raising her hand, she stopped him. “It’s not
just
your pack facing these wolves. Fine, you had a skirmish. You want to end the likelihood of future attacks before they can happen. You go to Russia, you kick over the anthills, maybe you break open a few heads. Fantastic. Word spreads—don’t mess with Diesel of the Yukon. Let’s say you even make it home alive—that’s the
best
case scenario. They leave you alone, but they don’t leave the other packs be.” Despite the steady thrum of her own heart hammering in her ears, she clung to rational thinking.

“You think that’s the only best case?” No anger reflected in his eyes. If anything, they’d grown chillier as his manner stiffened. Even his scent vanished, leaving only a nip of frost to touch her nose.

“I think you’re a powerful Alpha determined to do everything you can for your pack, but if you go over there—you will be seen. Word may also get around that there is a foreign wolf on their soil…fair game to anyone. Do I think you’re capable of taking on a dozen wolves no problem? Sure. What about a hundred? What about an entire pack?” She drained the whiskey. “You said it yourself, luck plays as much a part in battle as skill and strength. If the wolf that kills you there comes here to claim this territory? Who will defend the Yukon? Do you have anyone here who can hold your pack if you fall?”

“My mate can.”

Her stomach plummeted at the soft declaration. “Don’t put this on me. We are so not there yet. We’re lovers and, while I—I am enjoying what we’re doing here…” Her wolf whined within her, struggling with the dissonance between her growing affection for Diesel and her devotion to the pack which birthed her. “My loyalty has to be Willow Bend.”

“Understandable.” An unreadable mask settled over his expression. If she’d thought it chilly before, the cold left goosebumps all over her skin. He refilled his glass and padded into the grassy room. Even though he seemed intent on freezing her out, she couldn’t help but admire the taut pull of muscle as he moved. Neither of them had dressed, but instead of feeling exposed or vulnerable, she felt like she belonged.

The realization sent another tremor through her. She couldn’t be loyal to two packs—nor two Alphas. The temptation to throw her glass across the room and hear it shatter waged war with the need to keep her calm. “You know it’s not fair, right?”

“What isn’t?” He didn’t look at her.

Setting the glass down, lest she give into the urge, she followed him onto the grass. It was soft beneath her feet, almost warm and yet cool. It reminded her of the first soft blades in spring. “You want me to hold nothing back, to not rein myself, but the moment I don’t agree with you—you’re freezing me out?”

Tilting his head a fraction, he glanced over his shoulder at her. “I’ve held nothing back. I told you my bloodline migrated from Russia. I have connections there, and I understand the customs.”

“Well, your words say one thing, your tone says another.” It wasn’t hostile. Hell, it wasn’t even moody. It simply rang false, and set off every alarm in her system.

“I am Alpha, Dove. The needs of my people come before all.” Except his mate. He didn’t say the words aloud, and he didn’t have to. They echoed loudly through the room.

She’d told him they weren’t there yet.

Frustration twisted her gut into knots. “How soon are you planning on leaving?”

“Who’s asking?” He faced her. “My lover or Willow Bend’s Hunter?”

Hurt lashed strips off her soul, and she raised her chin and met his cold gaze. Fire burned in her, fire to his ice. “Does it matter?”

“I believe I have already shown you that
you
matter. The rest is for you to decide.”

Between the hurt and frustration welled fresh anger. Pivoting once, she stalked down the hall to her room and clothes. Dragging on a clean set of panties, then jeans, she elected to skip a bra then pulled on her t-shirt. Dressed, she checked the charge on her phone and barely made a mental note of the number of messages before she shoved it into her pocket.

Her right foot ached, but she stuffed her feet into boots she’d brought before leaving the room and striding across the grass to the main door. Diesel stood exactly where she’d left him.

He didn’t ask where she was going and she didn’t tell him. Outside the room, she concentrated on gulping deep breaths of air and putting one foot in front of the other. The desire to run off her anger vied with the need to not show weakness to the pack around her. From the moment Diesel walked into the cabin, he’d dominated her thoughts and her time.

He also made me feel welcome…
Despite the fact he held nothing back and showered her with attention, she was not his pack.

Nor his mate.

At the exchange between the herb hall and the trees, she cut to the right across a common area. Few wolves seemed to be about and what ones she did see, she didn’t recognize. Choosing a stone path at random, she walked along it.

There’s no such thing as a fated mate.
Of course they all loved the fairy tale of love at first sight. Or she had, right up until Claire sundered Tyler’s heart into a thousand brittle pieces, walking away from him and not glancing back. Tyler had declared Claire his before Ranae had been born. Her whole life, she’d seen the devotion Ty had for his mate only to see the ugly remains when Claire left.

Yes, she came back. Yes, they were happy
now
. But it hadn’t been love at first sight for Claire. She hadn’t agreed to mate Ty. It didn’t matter his sincerity, and Diesel could mean every word he said…
But I’m not ready.

Whether it meant she wasn’t ready to be his mate or to leave her pack or both—she didn’t know. Barely a week in the Yukon, and the man seemed to have changed the course of her life.

“You’re her.” A woman’s voice jerked her out of the internal conflict that had her chasing her mental tail. Halting, she found an older woman staring at her. Based on the silver in her hair and the deep grooves wrinkling the corners of her eyes, she was old.

Older than Diesel by more than a little.

“Forgive me, Elder.” She inclined her head a fraction to show the deference and respect all elders were due. “I was not watching where I was going.”

“Hmm,” the woman said, holding a large basket of laundry under one arm easily. She studied her. “You’ve quarreled with him. Good. Disagreement leads to clarity.”

Uncertain of what to say precisely, Ranae gave her a small smile and spread her hands. “I’m just out for a walk…” Not entirely the truth, but also not a lie.

The older woman laughed. “Then come walk with me, child. I’m Deidre.”

“Ranae.” She fell into step with her, manners long ingrained by her mother made it hard to refuse the request. Elders earned their place through long life and service, it didn’t matter that she was of the Yukon, she deserved whatever deference Ranae could offer her. “Would you like me to carry that?”

“No, dear. It’s good for me to stay independent.” She turned down a tree-lined path. They really did have fruit trees growing in their underground paradise. Never could she have imagined this. “What did you quarrel about?”

Not entirely comfortable discussing the subject of the woman’s Alpha with her, she slipped her thumbs into the belt loops of her jeans. “As I said, I was just out for a walk.”

As the woman diverted into a doorway, Ranae paused. Deidre leaned out to stare at her. “Come on in, I can’t possibly talk to you in private if we’re yelling to be heard.”

Biting back a smile, Ranae trailed her inside slowly. The interior of her rooms was as different from Diesel’s as night was from day. It looked like a cabin, all hardwood interiors, right down to the logs tucked to each other to frame the walls. Even the ceiling hung lower without the affectation of natural light though a faux window on the back wall offered the illusion matched by the real one which gazed onto the stone path they’d just walked.

“Have a seat, child. I’ll make us some tea and you can tell me what he’s done that’s upset you so much.”

“Deidre, ma’am…” She tried to keep her voice even. “I appreciate the concern, but I really have nothing to say.” As pissed as she was at the cavalier attitude Diesel seemed to have adopted toward his own safety, she didn’t have any intention to share the information with a woman she’d just met. Hell, she didn’t even know how or what she would report to Mason.

Setting her hands on the back of a chair, Deidre smiled at her. The woman truly had a kindly appearance, a grandmother. She also carried about her an air of timeless wisdom. The stories she could probably tell… “You do not want to betray confidences. I respect that. Let me confide in you so you may understand why I wanted to talk to you.”

The urge to pace rippled through Ranae, but she wrestled it away to show courtesy. “If you want.”

Deidre gestured to the empty chair across from the one she held and Ranae had no choice but to sit, even if sitting still was the last thing she wanted to do. Deidre didn’t join her immediately; instead, she retreated into a cozy little kitchenette. Scenting no other wolves in the house and putting that together with the tiny appearance of a one-bedroom cabin, Ranae guessed the older woman lived alone.

Perhaps all she wanted was some company. The idea settled some of the unease in her gut. The elder wolf returned with two icy bottles and set them down on the table. “Hard cider. Chowder makes it, and he sent me a fresh batch yesterday.”

The sharpness of the apples touched her nose the moment she opened the bottles. It was like summertime fermented and captured in the container. Testing a sip, the coolness of it soothed her parched nerves and the tart taste left her thirsty for more. “It’s good, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. He never shares his recipe with any of us, but he’s grown quite talented at the process.” Deidre took a seat. “Thank you for joining me.”

“You’re welcome,” Ranae managed with a straight face. In some ways, Deidre reminded Ranae of her own mother—without the friendly yelling and affection head slaps. “Thank you for allowing me into your home.”

“Probably strikes you as strange, but then you don’t know me. Amara was my daughter.”

The statement didn’t mean anything. “Forgive me, ma’am. Amara?”

“Oh.” Deidre’s expression sobered, and she set her bottle aside and folded one hand over the other. “Forgive me, Ranae, I thought you knew. Well, that will make this far more awkward.”

And uncomfortable, but Ranae refused to complain, at least aloud. “It’s quite all right, ma’am. To be honest, I haven’t met very many of the pack—at least not on a name introduction basis.” No she’d been too busy following Diesel around like a poodle, coming to heel under the weight of his tender attention.

“I understand. As I said, this might make things awkward and, if you will forgive an old woman her directness, I’m not going to drag this out for either of us.”

Thank God.

“My daughter Amara was Diesel’s first mate.”

The world bottomed out on her. Although she tried to school her features, Ranae couldn’t disguise the surge of jealousy scoring her insides. Taking a drink of the hard cider, she concentrated on the cool taste. In the back of her mind, she’d known Diesel had been mated before…that he’d outlived his mate. But this was her mother?

“Please forgive me if the bluntness hurt you.”

“I’m fine, and it did not.” No the hurt came from wanting a certainty and being angry at her own divided loyalties. “I’m sorry for the loss of your child, though.”

“Thank you. Every parents’ worst fear is to outlive their young. In many ways, Amara was a special girl. Diesel adored her,” Deidre continued, then raised a hand as though asking for time. “Again I am not saying this to cause you discomfort or sadness, but because I think it is important for you to understand.”

Accepting the explanation, Ranae nodded once and took a drink of her cider. The alcohol might help her digest the tale.

“My Amara was a gentle soul, far too gentle for a wolf who was not submissive. Her only ambition from the moment she set her gaze on Diesel was to be his mate and stay forever and always at his side. Even when he encouraged her to go away to school, to broaden her horizons and to see the world, she declined. Nearly every wolf goes on a roam at some point their young adulthood…as I’m sure you have, yes?”

“Yes.” Ranae could answer that easily enough. “I went to college, and I did my share of partying and exploring.” Though truth be told, she’d always put herself in controlled situations. She’d lost A.J. to his roam with their brothers. Three had gone and only two returned. She didn’t dare risk anything to chance.