Sociopath? (14 page)

She asked him - “By the way, Rafe, what did
you do with the Regatta award?”

“It’s up in the attic with all the other
stuff like that.”

So every year was a challenge to know what to
buy him. Whoever got his name in the annual Christmas drawing
always groaned in despair.

Surprisingly, he was an excellent gift-giver
himself, invariably coming up with something unique that delighted
its recipient. Last year, for instance, he’d given her an Irish
Claddaugh ring, handcrafted in and imported from Ireland, with her
birthstone emerald held by the two hands with a crown above.
Everyone in the family mostly thought of themselves as Vincennes’,
hardly remembering that her side, the Morgans, could proudly trace
their Irish heritage back for many generations. Getting the ring
from Rafe almost made her cry, thinking that the child she
understood the least was the most perceptive about her.

This year he’d gotten Denis an intricately
carved collection of miniature Civil War weapons, every gun and
saber, perfectly replicated in wood and metal.

Denis was blown away. “My God, Rafe, I’ve
never had anything so wonderful. Jesus - oops, sorry, Mom - they’re
exquisite.” He ran his fingers over the details on the tiny
pieces.

“I found out about a guy who does them. I’ve
had them for two years,” he smiled his quick smile, “I’d decided if
I didn’t draw your name this Christmas, I was just going to give
them to you for the hell of it.”

* *

When everyone else gathered up their kids and
their clothes and their gifts and moved out, Renny and Magdelene
went with them. They were going to Monte Carlo for two weeks to
celebrate their 36th anniversary (Magdelene had been pregnant with
Morgan when they wed, despite Renny pulling out at the crucial
moment - it seemed like all it ever took was for his sperm and her
egg to breathe the same air to make a baby).

*

It seemed strange, after all the people and
activity, for the house to be so quiet.

Lane was on the computer, doing research for
the paper she had to have done by the time she went back to school
after Christmas break. Rafe was lying on the sofa in front of the
wide-screen t.v. watching a football game.

“Come here, Honey. Sit down and let me put my
head on your lap.”

He lifted his head long enough for her to
slip beneath him, then laid it back down.

She began running her fingers through his
black hair, something she knew he loved. It made him feel like
purring, he said.

“Mmmm, that feels good. Guess what,
Lane?”

“What?”

“The band is trying out a new guitar player.
They want to make sure they have someone ready by the time I leave.
He’s going to sit in with them for the next week. Duke said I could
either tag along or take the time off.”

She held her breath. “What did you tell them,
Rafe?”

“Why, I told him my baby sister was going to
be home all alone and she’d probably want me to stay here with her
and make love to her twenty times a day so I guessed I’d better
take the time off.”

“Truly, Rafe, are you really going to just be
home the whole time?”

“Truly, Sweetie.

He rolled over on his stomach. “Do the back
now,” he told her, burying his face between her legs. She could
feel his warm breath making a damp spot on the crotch of her jeans,
sending shivers up into her belly.

“Take your pants off, Lane.”

When she was naked on the bottom, he told her
to straddle him, putting her knees on either side of his face. He
held her butt in his hands, bringing her down over him where he
could reach her. She braced herself on the arm of the sofa as his
tongue slowly traveled everywhere but the spot she wanted it most.
It went inside and up and down and around. He teased her until she
felt her body quivering.

“Rafe,” it was all she could say, just his
name,”Rafe.”

Until finally he went where she needed him to
go and for a few minutes, it seemed to her that the world just
stopped turning on its axis.

He pulled her down until she was lying on top
of him. She could feel him hard beneath her.

“Just stay here until I see who wins this
ballgame, then you can do me.”

*

She thought it was impossible to be in bed
with Rafe and him not know you were awake. He could seem to be
sound asleep but the minute you came to consciousness, even if you
didn’t make a move or even open your eyes, he sensed it and said,
“Mornin’, Honey.” Most often, he woke up first and then she aroused
to his lips on hers or his mouth on her breast or his hands between
her legs. She would think, “another wonderful day” and try not to
let herself count how many were left before it was over.

If she was washing their supper dishes (she
never used the dishwasher when it was just their few dishes), he
would press up close behind her with his crotch against her rear,
then he’d slide his hands up under her shirt and bra and fondle her
breasts.

“Keep goin’, Girl,” he’d tease. “Get your
dishes washed and when you’re done, we’ll do something else,” with
his hard cock pushing into her butt and his finger circling her
nipple.

“They can wait, Rafe, I’ll finish them
later.”

“Oh, no, Lane, duty before pleasure, you
know.”

And she’d keep washing as he kissed her neck
and breathed warm breath into her ear until finally she was done
and she could turn around and put her arms around him. Then he’d
pull her pants down and tell her to lean over the chair and she’d
feel him enter her from behind. She’d be so anxious by then, that’s
all it took the first time and then she’d have another orgasm a
little later when she could feel him getting ready.

As much as she loved it, when he did it to
her, she loved just as much doing it to him, feeling him need her.
When she had him in her mouth and his hands were wrapped in her
hair, moving her, when she felt his urgency, until he spilled
himself into her mouth, her heart did flip-flops.

When he crooned in her ear, begging her to
make him come, or when it was over and he murmured, “oh, God,
Laney, that was so good, you make me feel so good, Honey,” she
almost didn’t think anyone could hold so much happiness.

*

“We could run away, Rafe.”

“Why would we want to do that, Lane?”

“So we could be together all the time. We
could move to another country and become other people. No one would
know. We don’t look anything alike.”

He laughed. “That’s a total fantasy, Sweetie,
and you know it. You wouldn’t want to give up everything you have
and everyone you know just to be with me.”

She knew he didn’t love her in the same way
she loved him, had always known it. She didn’t think if he was here
and she didn’t come home, he’d be almost sick thinking about her
empty bed like she was when it was him. She thought she would give
up everything she had and everyone she knew to be able to be with
him. She thought she’d do it without a second thought.

* *

Oh, Lord Jesus, how could she have done such
a thing? Rafe would be so furious, he’d kill her, he’d probably
just kill her.

Ever since Laney could remember she’d had a
secret yearning to ride Destiny. She thought they all did at one
time or another, probably because he was like the forbidden fruit.
She knew it had been a sore spot with the others that Rafe was the
only one ever allowed to ride him besides Renny. She’d heard Annecy
muttering resentfully more than once about why Renny trusted Rafe
and only Rafe to take his precious stallion when she rode just as
well. Lane felt the same way. Rafe made it seem so easy and so
exhilarating to go tearing across the field on Des. Rafe himself
had taught her to ride starting when she was only about three and
she knew she was good, he told her she was good.

If she was honest with herself, she guessed
she’d have to admit that there was a little bit of revenge involved
too. She was upset when he told her he’d be gone most of the day,
their last day together before he had an engagement with the band
and he’d probably start to be away a lot again, probably with girls
he met at the dances.

So she supposed her hair-brained scheme to
take Des out for a ride was partially to get back at him and prove
a point although she never meant for him to know. She usually
wasn’t that brave about acting out her rebellions so what on God’s
green earth had possessed her this time?

The stallion bucked her off almost the minute
she settled into the saddle. Now he was still out in the pasture,
saddled, with his reins hanging down and she thought she had a
broken wrist. She was stationed in the kitchen watching out the
back window when she heard the Corvette come roaring down the drive
and the garage door open.

Her head and heart were both pounding as she
saw him swinging down the flagstone walk toward the back door in
that graceful way he had. His hair had grown out from that one time
he had it razor cut shorter than normal and that stray lock was, as
usual, hanging down over his forehead. He looked pretty happy but
that wasn’t going to last long. About ten seconds after he came
through the door, she figured.

She was crying by the time he walked into the
kitchen.

“What’s the matter, Honey?”

“Rafe, please, I’m so sorry, I know you’re
going to be so mad….”

His eyes darkened. “What am I going to be mad
about, Lane?”

“I took Destiny out and….”

He grabbed her by the upper arm so tightly
she knew she’d have a bruise. “You did fucking what?” His quiet
voice was even scarier than if he’d yelled.

“I took him out and he threw me. He’s out in
the field. He wouldn’t let me catch him and put him away,” she
sobbed. “I think I broke my wrist.”

She’d never seen his eyes look so black. “I’m
going to go take care of Des. In the meantime, I want you to sit
down on that fucking chair and don’t even move a goddam muscle
until I get back, do you understand me, Lane?”

“My wrist….”

“The horse comes first. You’ll just have to
suffer, then we’ll deal with your wrist.”

He turned and left. She could see him from
the window, opening the pasture gate. Saw him whistling and Destiny
coming right to him. Then she saw him leading the stallion into the
barn. She figured she had about ten minutes until he got back. She
thought one of the best weeks of her life was about to be followed
by one of the worst.

When he got back from the stable, he got the
Corvette and pulled it as close to the back door as he could get
it.

“Get your coat and come on. I’m taking you to
the emergency room.”

“Rafe, I…”

“Shut up, Lane, just shut up. I don’t want to
talk to you right now.”

He hustled her into E.R. and lounged silently
in a chair in her room while they sent her for x-rays that
confirmed the break and then wrapped her wrist and put it in a
cast. He put the release instructions and the prescription for pain
pills the doctor had given her in his coat pocket. Then he drove to
the drugstore and had her prescription filled.

When they got home, he told her to go take a
pill and come back, now he wanted to talk to her.

She sat in the chair he pointed her to. He
stood in front of her. “Don’t even think about getting up, Lane,
until I’ve said all I have to say.” She shivered a little just
looking at the harsh twist to his mouth and the eyes that were like
storm clouds.

“Do you remember, Lane, the time you went to
the basement and got lost and I had to come and find you even
though I’d left instructions telling you not to leave the nursery
while I was gone?”

“Yes, Rafe, I remember.”

“And do you remember me telling you that you
always had to obey me?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I guess, technically, you didn’t
disobey me this time because I never actually told you not to ever
take Destiny out and do you know why I never told you that, Lane?”
he asked in a voice that was deceptively casual.

She was gulping and wiping the tears from her
eyes and snot from her nose with her sleeve because he’d told her
not to move and she didn’t have a tissue within reach.

“W-w-why?”

“It never occurred to me that I had to,
because I never thought you’d be stupid enough to pull such a
fucking idiotic trick. But, I expect you knew, didn’t you, Laney,
even without me telling you, it was an order just the same? ”

“Yes, I knew, Rafe.”

“Quit crying, Lane. I don’t want to see it or
hear it. You did this yourself and now, you can sit here and take
your goddam punishment without whining.”

She struggled to choke down her sobs.

“So, what were you planning? If it had all
worked out for you, you were just going to put him back and I’d
never be the wiser?”

“Y-y-yes.”

“But it didn’t work out for you, did it,
Lane?”

“N-n-no.”

“Why do you think I got so angry with you
when you went to the basement when you were three?”

“I d-d-on’t know, Rafe.”

“Because I didn’t want you to get hurt. And
why do you think I wouldn’t have wanted you riding Destiny?”

“For the s-s-same reason?”

“Yes. Christ, can you imagine how I’d have
felt if I’d had to call the folks to come home because you had a
fucking broken neck or something when they made me responsible for
you, Lane? Do you think that would have been a very pleasant phone
call to make?”

“I’m s-s-sorry, Rafe, please….”

“Too late for ‘I’m sorry’. Now, here’s the
deal. If you’d been hurt some other way, a way you couldn’t help,
I’d probably have been all helpful brother. I expect you’re going
to have a little bit of a tough time fastening your pants and your
bra and washing your hair and brushing it and probably several
other things, one-handed. But, you know what, I don’t care much.
You wanted to do your little dance and now you’re going to have to
pay the fiddler on your own. So don’t come to me for assistance,
just figure it out the best way you can.”