Sociopath? (17 page)

“Yes, Dad.” Her throat was so dry from
nervousness, she could barely choke out the words.

“I will do one thing for you, Lane. Whenever
it will be convenient for Rafe to bring you up for a visit, I’ll
treat you to an all expense paid trip to beautiful New Jersey.” He
smiled wryly, “until then, I want you to know that if you have any
problems or worries, you can always come to me and I’ll try to
help.”

She left the room thinking that in a million
years, she’d never have the courage to approach him about any
problem she ever had - but a trip to see Rafe, yes, that would be
something she could look forward to!

* *

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Dear Rafe - it’s so lonesome here without you
- I miss you lots. Dad gave me a pep talk after you left. He was
sort of mean. He told me he’d pay for a trip to come visit you once
you’re ready for company though. I’m trying to do what you said and
get involved in school. I’m going to try to get on the staff of the
Scribe. I’m going to a movie with Cal on Friday. I’m trying, Rafe,
but it’s hard…I hope you like it there. Let me know. I love you,
Laney.

*

Hey Lane - I’m here and more or less settled
in. Had to laugh at the amount of stuff most of them brought. I had
least of anyone - you know me, I travel light. Well, what else can
you do in a Corvette? Thank God, I have a single room. Don’t think
I could tolerate a roommate. Dad was right. I’m going to hate
having so many people practically sitting on my head. What was he
mean to you about? We had an orientation. I hate shit like that.
Food is decent. Good luck with the paper - and with Cal. love,
R

*

Rafe - Well, maybe Dad wasn’t really mean but
he wasn’t exactly sympathetic either. Basically, told me it was
time for me to stand on my own two feet without counting on you all
the time. I had to turn in a writing sample for the Scribe. Keep
your fingers crossed for me. The movie was fine. Cal is nice - but
he isn’t EXCITING! I love you!!!!!

*

Hey Lane - Dad’s more perceptive than you
think. He knows more about us than you think too, although
hopefully, not everything. Have started classes and they’re easy so
far. I have an okay schedule. Looks like I’ll probably make the
varsity baseball team. love

*

She wrote to him almost every day. He wrote
her once a week, if she was lucky, and sometimes it was only once
every two weeks.

*

Rafe - I had another date with Cal. Is it
safe to tell you something personal on e-mail, Rafe? I got the spot
on the Scribe - yay! I’ve been assigned to write a story about
tattoos. Do you think I should get one so I can write first-hand
about what it feels like? What about a ladybug on my shoulder?
Would that be cute? By the way, Mrs Fisher asked how you were and
said to tell “that sure-footed brother of yours” good luck in
college. What’s THAT all about??? Miss Britt is dating Mr. Stark
now. Everyone thinks they’ll end up getting married. Are there lots
of pretty girls at Princeton? Do you have a girlfriend?
Xoxoxoxoxoxo

*

NO!!!!! Don’t send anything via e-mail you
wouldn’t want printed on the front page of the Benedict Sentinal.
If you need to talk to me, call me on my cell. And as for the
Scribe, if I ever come home and find you with a tattoo, I will be
fucking pissed, Lane! Long story re: me and Mrs. Fisher. Tell her I
said, I wouldn’t have worried too much about her catching me but I
figured Dee would vote for the death penalty! Poor Starkie. He
needs to record the words, “I love you” on a cd and just play it
morning, noon and night. Yes, lots and lots of pretty girls at
Princeton. You know, I’ve always believed what they said about
variety being the spice of life. Love

*

Rafe, first, Mrs. F said to tell you, “yes,
the death penalty but preceded by the Rack”. And Misty’s Mom, Pam,
said to tell you that it is possible for old dogs to learn new
tricks. So, there - I’m starting to feel like Mata Hari passing on
all your coded messages! The other news is that Mom and Dad are in
Ireland for a freaking month! I guess they’re looking up her family
connections. The house is like a tomb. They are paying Reba to stay
here with me at night and to chauffeur me around when I need to go
somewhere (Mom’s even letting her use the Lexus) but she isn’t
exactly great company. She said the folks told her I sometimes have
nightmares and offered to sleep in your room so she’d be closer but
I said no! I’ve spent some nights with my girlfriends to try to
stay away from here. Did you know that Misty’s Mom and her
boyfriend, Joe, got married. Misty was happy about it. She said Joe
is really a good guy. I miss you bunches. Lane

*

Hey, Honey - I’m starting to get nervous
about you saying you need to talk to me privately. Remember the
little lecture I gave you about sex before I left? Well, I
specifically asked Cal when his birthday was when we were at the
dance and he told me it’s in November. He’ll be 16 then. That means
he’ll be able to drive and that means if you get the urge, you can
go up to the cabin, like every other Vincennes has done, but it
also means that if you think there is the remotest possibility
you’ll do that, you need to get yourself to the school clinic asap.
Remember I told you they’d give you a prescription for bc pills if
you tell them you’re planning on becoming sexually active and
they’ll keep it confidential. Do NOT try the “oh, well, it will
probably be okay just this once” method!

Tell Misty’s mother I said
congratulations.

Pretty rough being there by yourself for a
whole month but you’ll make it.

Everything is all right with me. Love

*

Don’t worry, it’s not what you’re thinking,
Rafe, just the opposite in fact.

Every Vincennes? Even Annecy?

I was only kidding about the tattoo.

I got on the honor roll this six weeks. I was
afraid high school classes would be harder but they’re not. Are
they in college?

My life is so boring, I can’t stand it.

I love you, Lane

*

Lane, wtf does “just the opposite” mean? Yes,
especially Annecy, when she and Bill were hot and heavy. I don’t
know for sure but I’d say every Vincennes. If anyone didn’t, it was
Mariel and that wasn’t because she thought it was wrong, just that
she was saving it for the highest bidder. College classes aren’t
bad. I’ve been thinking about your trip. How about Feb? There’s a
long dry spell after Christmas. You could take off Friday and fly
in early, then go back late Sunday. Talk to Dad when he gets
home.

Love, Rafe

*

The main reason she didn’t want Reba sleeping
in Rafe’s bed was she slept there herself sometimes when she missed
him so much her heart hurt and she needed to feel close to him. If
she could only get through another couple of months, he’d be home
for Christmas break. She could hardly wait! Thank God, he finally
mentioned her coming to see him. She was beginning to think he just
didn’t want her there. It would have killed her if she’d thought
that.

She’d decided not to tell him about her
problem until he came home and she could do it in person. He said
not to use e-mail and it didn’t seem like the kind of thing you
wanted to talk to someone about on the phone. The situation was
that she’d gone out with Cal three times now. The last time was a
real date, to a movie and out to eat. They doubled with her friend,
Dawn, and her boyfriend, Jarod. Jarod had his license so they
drove. Afterward he took Cal home first because he lived closest
and they all sat in the driveway and necked for a little bit before
Cal went in. He kissed her and she let him put his hand down her
blouse. And she felt zip, zero, zilch. Rafe could touch her
anywhere and she just started to vibrate with desire. It didn’t
even have to be an erogenous zone but her back or her shoulder or
anywhere. She didn’t know what that meant. She liked Cal. He was
handsome and funny and sweet. You couldn’t find a nicer boyfriend
than Cal. She knew the other girls thought she was lucky to be
dating him. And she thought he liked her a lot. But when he kissed
her or touched her, nothing stirred. She could have been kissing a
department store mannequin for all she got out of it.

* *

“Hey, Renny, it’s Gil. How’s it going down in
Maryland?”

Gilbert Murray was the President of
Princeton. He and Renny had been tight since they’d roomed together
there themselves. They stayed in touch over the years and Gil
always took a personal interest in Renny’s sons and gave him
regular reports on their progress. (Something none of them knew
about. They’d have been more than a little nervous about one of
their Dad’s best friends keeping tabs on them at Princeton. They
knew Renny and Mr Murray had dinner together sometimes but they
figured that was just Renny getting the royal treatment for being a
major donor).

“Fine here, Gil. Maggie and I just got back
from a month in Ireland, tracking her Morgan roots. We had a great
time. What a spectacular country. How about you, Gil, how are
things going for you? How’s Cindy?”

“We’re good too, Renny. Four more years and
then I’m retiring and we’re moving to the Alabama gulf coast. We
just bought a place down there near Mobile. Princeton has given me
a great life but we’re ready to go to an adult community where it’s
warm all the time.”

Renny chuckled. “I appreciate you sticking
around ‘til I get my last one through, Gil.”

“Yeah, for a while there, it looked like you
were never going to quit, Ren. I wouldn’t have wanted to put off
moving south until I was 80 just to be watching out for an endless
procession of Vincennes kids.”

“Trust me, we wanted to quit long before we
did, Gil. So how’s this latest one doing anyway?”

“You know, Ren, I’ve always thought of you as
the perfect father. If anyone had to have nine kids, it’s good it
was you. Every one of your boys has been outstanding. They’ve all
gotten great grades. All of them have excelled in whatever their
areas of interest were. None of them were ever in any trouble.
They’ve all been popular with their teachers and the other
students. Rafe seems to be following right along on that path for
the most part.”

“I can take credit for the others, Gil, but I
can’t take much credit for Rafe. The truth is that Maggie and I
pretty much ignored him so whatever he does, he’s done on his
own.”

“Well, I’ve got to say, he would have been
brought to my attention even if I hadn’t asked about him
especially. I can’t keep up with all our students but I do pay
particular attention to the ones who stand out and your Rafe does
in a couple of different ways.”

“How so, Gil?”

“First, grades. He’s carrying an A average in
all his classes. That in itself isn’t so remarkable. We’ve always
got a few kids who accomplish it. But I have to tell you a story.
Alvin Digby teaches Advanced Calculus. He has a phobia about cocky
high school kids who come to Princeton thinking their shit don’t
stink because they got great grades at Podunk High. He likes to
knock them down a peg or two. To do that, he always makes the first
test of the year lots harder than any freshman can deal with. They
get a crappy grade to start off with and it makes them humble so
they’re ready to settle down and learn. After that, he teaches a
hard but honest class. He’s been here for about 25 years, Ren, and
he’s never had a student who got a perfect score on that first test
until your Rafe. It flatly knocked Al’s socks off. He couldn’t
believe it. There are questions on that test that most Calculus
teachers couldn’t answer. His first thought was that somehow Rafe
had cheated but then he thought - “but who would he have cheated
off of?” No one knew the answers but Al himself and he knew damn
good and well Rafe didn’t get them from him, so he finally came to
the conclusion that, hard as it was to believe, the boy had simply
done it.”

Renny grinned on his end of the phone line.
“That’s typical Rafe.”

“Okay, next is athletics. He made both the
varsity baseball team and now the varsity football team. He was
named Most Valuable Player of the Year in baseball. We ended up
with a winning season and he gets a big chunk of the credit. He’s
got one hell of an arm for hitting home runs. And he’s been given a
nickname in football, Renny, you know what it is?”

“No, what?”

“Rafe the Wraith. Coach says he’s like smoke.
He just drifts through enemy territory and it seems like they don’t
even notice him ‘til he’s flying across the end zone. The season
isn’t in full swing yet but it looks like he’s going to be a star
in football too. Now, we come to girls.”

“Oh, oh,” said Renny, “I have a feeling this
is where the trouble starts.”

“Yep. He’s cut quite a swath through the
female population, Ren. All your kids were handsome and popular
with the girls but this one seems to have a certain kind of animal
magnetism, call it what you will that reminds me of Elvis in his
glory days. So, I don’t know how that will turn out. Maybe he’s
just enjoying all the women on offer here at Princeton and he’ll
get it out of his system and settle down with a steady girlfriend
here before long.”

Renny was doubtful. “I don’t think I’d count
on that happening, Gil.”

“And last, and here’s where he really goes
his own way from his brothers. I’ve checked and he hasn’t joined
anything since he’s been here. You know we have a million different
organizations for whatever you’re interested in whether that’s
science or chess or music or photography or drama or Gay and
Lesbian affairs or history. I mean every kid joins something but so
far as I can tell, Rafe hasn’t. Does that sound like him, Ren?”

“Yeah, Gil, it sounds exactly like Rafe. I
told him before he left that I wasn’t sure how enjoyable he’d find
college because he just isn’t communal by nature. I told him he’s a
lone wolf and he might not be that comfortable but he’d just have
to deal with it.”