Sociopath? (37 page)

She threw herself into helping Magdelene
decorate, excitedly showing Rafe how she’d learned to make the big,
plaid bows for the stairway swags, and to wrap gifts as beautifully
as Magdelene so each one looked like something you’d see in a
department store window. She helped set out pots and pots of
poinsettias and to decide where each elaborate flower arrangement
should go and to hang the socks on the mantel. She was awed when
Renny had the workmen bring the manger scene out of the garage and
she went nuts over the huge tree when it was delivered.

She was even more thrilled when all the
family vehicles started coming down the driveway to unload kids and
luggage and packages to put under the tree and when the long dining
room table was filled to overflowing with talking, laughing
Vincennes. All except Laney, who’d decided to go to London this
year with her best college chum, giving up even her $1,000
check.

“Is it because of me, Rafe?” she asked.

“Yes, Honey, I expect it probably is.”

He thought she was a completely different
person here, more Pearl Ann Mosier than Rhiannon. Her West Virginia
roots of extreme poverty and lovelessness showed in her naked
longing to be part of Heron Point and the Vincennes. He thought it
was sort of sweet but sad to watch. They all loved her because she
so obviously loved them. She hardly sat down until she had a baby
on her lap. He smiled to himself. If anything, most of them
probably thought he didn’t deserve anyone as special as
Rhiannon.

The family was a little taken aback by the
helicoptors that flew over the chateau and the satellite trucks
that lined the roadway and the reporters who crowded around any
time anyone entered or left, hoping for a picture or a few words
from Rafe or Rhiannon or even better, both of them together.

“I’ve got to go see them and talk to them a
little.”

“I guess you want me to go too.”

“I’d like for you to but I know you hate it,
so I’m not asking.”

“No, it’s all right.”

“If you’re going to do it, Rafe, put yourself
out to charm them.”

“Don’t worry, Ree. I will.”

So she took her hair down out of its pony
tail and used the curling iron to produce her trademark tangle of
sable curls. She expertly applied make up so her smoky eyes were
shadowed in dove gray and her full lips were sensuously mauve. She
changed out of her holey jeans and sweatshirt and into gray suede
pants, a silky silver blouse, knee-high, high-heeled gray leather
boots and a silver fox fur jacket. And the family was fascinated by
the metamorphosis from Rhiannon the regular person to Rhiannon the
self-assured movie star.

They walked to the end of the locust-lined
lane to give the media the attention they craved. Rafe was friendly
and funny and open. And she was was smiling and cooperative and
flirtatious.

“Do you love him, Rhiannon?” one of them
called out.

“I love him with all my heart,” she said,
taking his hand.

“And how about you, Rafe?”

“The same. I feel the same.”

“When do you start your next movie?”

“No more movies for me,” he told them, “I’m a
race car driver, not an actor.”

“Will you try to convince him to change his
mind, Rhiannon?”

“I might try if the perfect part comes
along.”

“Will you let her talk you into it,
Rafe?”

His smile went flashing across his face.
“Maybe…if she makes me an offer I can’t refuse.”

Thus leaving them with the hope that another
Rhiannon and Rafe film might be forthcoming in the future.

*

“I’d like to stay here always, Rafe. This
place seems so warm and secure and beautiful.You take it for
granted because it’s all you’ve ever known but if you’d grown up
like me, with nothing but ugliness, you’d know how lucky you were
to live here, always having good food to eat and nice clothes to
wear just like the other kids, and brothers and sisters who
actually seem to like one another. And your Mom and Dad have to be
the perfect parents. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to
have a father like Renny. He’s so kind and strong, like you’d
always have everything you needed. Is that really what it was
like?”

“Pretty much, Ree, that’s pretty much what it
was like.”

She snuggled against him. “Would you really
make another movie if I asked, Rafe?”

“Not just any movie, Honey, but if something
comes along that you really, really want badly, I’d probably do it
just for you.”

*

He wasn’t exactly sure where Laney was with
everything so he e-mailed her.

Lane - do you still want me to come up in
February? R

Rafe - Yes, yes, yes! I can’t wait to see
you! Love, Lane.

*

Of course, she was there first, an hour and a
half before he thought he’d arrive, just in case he got in early.
She was in the room she’d been assigned. She’d unlocked her side of
the joining door but he had to unlock his from his side before the
rooms were open to each other. This old hotel was very lovely and
elegant, not that she cared that much. She’d have stayed in a
fleabag if it meant Rafe was going to be there with her. She
impatiently read her book with one ear focused outside, waiting for
a sound that would alert her to his arrival. But she forgot how
quietly he always did everything. The connecting door opened before
she knew he was there. He stood, grinning.

“Aren’t you going to come and kiss me
hello?”

She flung down her book and jumped up. When
she reached him, she threw her arms around him and buried her head
in his shoulder, soaking up the feel of his strength and warmth and
loved familiarity.

“This is the longest time we’ve ever gone
without seeing one another. I almost didn’t think I could stand
it.”

He held her face with both his hands and
looked into her eyes.

“We need to talk about that before I leave.
Do you want to do it now and get it out of the way?”

“No, Rafe, not now. We’ll talk about it
later.”

“Okay, then, Honey, you tell me when you’re
ready. In the meantime…..”

*

She wasn’t ready until late into the next
day. She wasn’t even ready then, really. It was so good just to
have him there, making love to her, and then lying next to him when
she was totally content and drifting happily into sleep. But she
guessed it had to be dealt with sooner or later.

“I’m getting up and getting dressed,” she
said, “I can’t talk about serious stuff lying down and naked.”

He was caressing her breast, “no,” he agreed,
smiling “you’re easily distractible, Lane.”

She hadn’t brought a robe so she put on his
long-sleeved denim shirt. It smelled of his aftershave and even
that distracted her a little. He brought them each a bottle of
water out of the frig.

“So, who goes first, Lane? You or me?”

“You first, Rafe. Tell me about you and
Rhiannon and what that means to us.”

He shrugged. “I love her, I’ve told you that.
I think she’ll always be part of my life now, but I don’t know that
it will affect us much, one way or the other unless you let it. I
know you didn’t come home for Christmas because she was there and I
understand why, but she won’t be at Heron Point more than a few
weeks out of every year. She’ll still mostly be in California or on
location. I’ll be mostly at home or traveling the racing circuit.
Life will go on pretty much the same except we’ll probably spend a
lot of time on planes going back and forth.”

“I always have a hard time grasping your way
of thinking, Rafe.” She giggled. “I think it’s because I’m
normal.”

He nodded with a small smile of
acknowledgement of her normalcy.

She turned serious. “I’ve given this a lot of
thought. You know, I assigned a percentage once to the amount of
you I thought you gave to me. It came out to 20 percent.”

“You tried to put our relationship in
mathematical terms, Lane?” he cocked one black eyebrow. “And what
made you arrive at 20 percent anyway?”

“I was just trying to accept where I fit into
the scheme of things in your life, Rafe, and I suppose a fifth was
arbitrary but it seemed like roughly the right amount. Anyway,
let’s say for the sake of argument it is about right. What I
finally decided recently was that was all I’ve ever had of you
which meant that other people got the 80 percent that was left,
whoever they were. Now, Rhiannon has entered the picture and taken
over part of that 80 percent. I guess it shouldn’t make that much
difference to me since I never had it anyway. Does any of what I’m
saying make any sense, Rafe?”

“Well,” he said, “it sounds like your
normalcy trying to make sense of my abnormality but if it works for
you, Sweetie, it’s okay.”

“What about her, Rafe? Is she satisfied with
the way things are between you?”

“She knows what I am, Lane, and that I won’t
change. She says her love comes with no strings attached and I
think she really means it.”

“And you’re the same with her?”

“Yes. She’s free to do as she pleases when
I’m not around. I never wanted to own anyone, Lane, and I don’t
want anyone to own me.”

“I’m an owner, Rafe, or at least I’d like to
be.”

“I know, Honey. Makes it hard for you,
doesn’t it, dealing with someone like me? Are you going to be all
right with me and Ree the way it is then? You know we can call it
quits if you think it’s better for you. We’ll just revert to being
brother and sister and I’ll love you just the same.”

“No, Rafe! No, I couldn’t do that, not ever!
I think it probably would be better, but I can’t imagine never
being together with you like this. I bailed on Christmas just
because it seemed like it would hurt too bad, knowing she was right
beside my room in your bed where I’ve been so many times.” She took
a deep breath, “but for the rest of it, Rafe, I’ll share if I have
to. I’ll take my 20 percent and try to be happy with it because
it’s better than nothing at all.”

He took her hand. “I think it’s a little more
than 20 percent, Lane.” He grinned. “Maybe more like 25.”

“And the same for her?”

“Yep - a quarter for you, a quarter for her,
a quarter for everyone else and a quarter to keep for myself.”

“I’m done talking, Rafe,” she put her hand on
his lap. “I’m ready to collect on my 25 percent right now.”

*

She told him he had to come to the dorm
before he left. Her roommate, Sarah, would never forgive her if she
didn’t at least bring Rafe by to meet her. He caused quite a splash
on campus because just about everyone had seen No Winners and he
was even more handsome in real life than he was on the big screen.
They had lunch at the cafeteria just so Laney could show him off
but it was hard for him to eat in between signing autographs.

“Is it always like this for you now?”

“Just about. “

Sarah was so self-conscious, being at the
chosen table with Rafe and Lane, that she didn’t touch her food.
She was afraid she’d choke and embarrass herself in front of him.
Sarah was usually comfortable about herself. Generally, on campus,
she was okay with being a size 18 and wearing jeans that were a
little too big and a tee-shirt that was a little too small. She
hardly ever wore make up, making no effort to capitalize on her
best feature, her soft brown doe eyes. She let her naturally curly
dark blond hair go too long between trimmings so it it bushed
around her face with no discernible style. Right now though, she
was supremely conscious of her shortcomings. She wished she’d stuck
to that diet and hadn’t cancelled her appointment at the hair
salon.

Lane had asked him to bring Sarah one of the
“I ‘heart’ Rafe fan club shirts and he gave it to her after he
walked them back to their building, signed with that big, bold Rafe
above the heart. He gave her a quick hug and told her he was glad
his sister had a roommate she got along with so well, at which, she
turned a particularly vivid shade of scarlet and mumbled, “me,
too”.

Laney went with him out to his car.

“God, she’s going to be unbearable about you
now, Rafe. Thanks for being so sweet to her.”

“I’m usually sweet to vulnerable people,
Lane.”

“You see why I said I was glad she was heavy
and not pretty. She would have thrown herself at you and you might
have been tempted to take her up on it.”

“I should do it anyway, Lane and make her
day. You know, I’m not above giving out the occasional pity fuck.
It’s sort of my version of donating to charity. Not long ago, I
screwed a scrawny, freckle-faced, buck-toothed little
redhead…’course I was afraid to let her blow me because of the
teeth. Kept visualizing a beaver and a tree.”

“You’re lying, Rafe!”

His fleeting smile slid across his face. She
never did know whether he was teasing her or telling the truth.

*

After he was gone, she found a check for
$1,000 in her purse with a sticky note that said he didn’t want her
giving up something she wanted because of him.

*

He heard about the colt when he was waiting
at Grindle’s Garage while they serviced the Corvette. He’d gone to
school with Roger Corning, whose parents owned Legacy Ridge Arabs,
where Heron Point’s own horses had come from. Roger was waiting
too, for one of the farm trucks to be finished.

“Hey, Rog, how’s it going?”

“Good, Rafe, although not as good as it
sounds like you’re doing.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had a streak of good luck
lately.

“Rafe, your whole life has been a streak of
good luck.”

Rafe shrugged, then changed the subject. “Old
Destiny is starting to slow down, Rog. I’ve thought off and on
about coming out and taking a look at your young stock. Don’t know
when I might have got around to it but since we’ve met up like
this, have you got anything you think I’d be interested in?”