Solitude (Artistic Pricks Ink #3) (16 page)

The door closes, leaving me alone in the darkness. Alone. Even the word is like a prison cell door slamming. I stare at the brick wall, remembering the brick wall that started my life in the direction it has taken. I was nothing but a punk kid with a rebellious streak, who wanted nothing more than to leave his mark on the world with a can of spray paint.

That was the night my life changed forever.

Suddenly, I was a kid with a dream. I had plans for my future, and even after Big Dick died and I went into the Navy, I was determined to move mountains, if necessary, to get the things I wanted. All that got lost one night at a truck stop. I have forgotten the man that I was and can’t seem to find any glimpses of the life I thought I would have. When unexpected circumstances hit you between the eyes, it feels like you have been sentenced to a lifetime in a prison worse than the seventh circle of hell could ever be.

I have been tried and sentenced for crimes I didn’t commit, but willingly accepted all the guilt. I don’t deserve the pardon she offers me, but, God, how I want it. I want her. I’m strapped in to my own personal electric chair and the warden stands ready at my right to flip the switch to damn me forever, but I keep staring out into the crowd, waiting for her to save me like I hope she can.

But she won’t, Mitch. Shelby is gone. You finally pushed her away for good.

“Didn’t anyone tell you that angels don’t belong in hell?”

“I’m a lot of things, prick, but an angel isn’t one of them.”

The words she has said to me come rushing back in a flood. They grip me by the throat and claw at my chest.

“That heart you say you don’t have is beating right now. I know you care about me too, I see it. I can feel it.”

The wind blows. Looking down, something skirts across the parking space, stopping on my shoe. Reaching down, I grab it, staring at the tiny piece of paper in disbelief as I study it.

A pink Now and Later wrapper.

Swallowing hard, I look around as if I’ll find the answers to all my problems in this dark alley, but I know that’s not possible. The wrapper is just a piece of meaningless garbage to anyone other than me. To me, it symbolizes something so much more than the simple inches of paper.

It’s a sign.

Burying my face in my hands, I blow out a breath, quickly trying to get my thoughts together. Pushing to my feet, I shove the wrapper into the front pocket of my jeans. Walking back into the shop, I check on Skinner and apologize for trying to beat him bloody. “Luke, can you cover my shift tonight?” I ask, turning to where he sits with his feet propped up on Shelby’s desk.

“Go handle your shit,” he says, waving me off.

Without waiting for anything else, I grab my keys and head out to my truck, hoping that I am not too late to fix what I have spent all my energy trying to ruin.

Mitch weighs heavily on my mind. No matter how hard I try to tell myself to let it go, I can’t get the way he looked at me out of my head.

By the time I get home, the only thing I want to do is have a few beers and relax in my enormous bathtub before bed. My house is no mansion. The small, ranch-style two bedroom was originally a house a relator planned to flip, but his investors pulled funds at the last minute, leaving him holding his dick with no place to go. It may still need work, but it’s mine.

I’ve put a lot of love into the old place and enjoyed every part of doing the few improvements I have been able to do myself. There is a large yard, which is rare in the city, giving me room to build if I ever decided to. The selling point for this massive leap of faith, was the bathroom.

I picked out the ceramic tiles that cover the floors and walls of the enormous room and spent an entire weekend laying them by hand. The best part is the large Jacuzzi tub that I managed to get wholesale from a man in California.

Dumping my stuff on the sofa, I grab a beer from the fridge and head down the hall toward the bathroom, kicking out of my shoes and stripping as I go. Switching on the light, I start adjusting the faucet and turn on the timer on the jets before powering on the stereo on the wall.

By the time the tub is halfway full, I can’t wait any longer. Slipping into the hot water, I exhale and close my eyes, ready to be done with this day. I don’t allow myself to focus on what lies ahead to be accomplished tomorrow, that can all wait. After the insanity of the last week, tonight, I’m going to get lost in the void and just unwind.

***

I must have drifted off to sleep, because the sound of banging wakes me. I don’t know how long I have been asleep, but the water has started to cool and I can tell that the jets have long shut themselves off. My head is aching, my eye throbbing, and all I want to do is just take some aspirin and go to bed.

Climbing from the tub, I dry myself quickly with a towel and pull on the oversized, white, terry cloth robe I keep hung on the back of the door. The damn door sounds like it’s about to be beaten off the hinges. “Chill the fuck out!” I yell, coming up the hallway toward the front door. “I’m coming. I’m coming.”

Pressing up on my tip toes, I grab the doorknob and peek through the peep hole. “Go away, Mitch,” I say, pushing away from the door. Walking through the living room, I head into the kitchen in search of pain killers.

The banging on the front door stops. “Wow, he actually listened to me this time?” I ask myself, shaking my head. Grabbing a glass from the dish drainer, I pour myself some orange juice and down two of the capsules.

“Fair warning, I’m only knocking because it’s polite,” he yells, banging on the door that leads to the garage from the kitchen. “That prick made copies of more than just your car key, sweetness.”

“Guess he didn’t,” I smirk, rolling my eyes at my reflection in the window above my sink. “You know, even with a set of keys, it’s still breaking and entering, asshole.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Shelby.”

“Hold on, I don’t have my baseball bat ready,” I shout, slapping the closed door. “Eye for an eye, asshole,” I snap, then giggle. “See what I did there? At least I’ll make a joke before assaulting you.”

“I’m not having this discussion with the door separating us,” he fires back. I can hear the keys jingling in his hand and I know his stubborn ass won’t back down until he says what-the-hell-ever it is he came all the way over here to say.

Unlatching the door, I yank it open and glare at him. “Who says there’s anything to say at all?” I ask, turning away from him and making my way around the table. Pulling out a chair, I sit before waving my hand at him. “Go ahead and say whatever it is you need to say, Mitch. The sooner you do, the sooner I can kick you out and go to bed.”

Stepping inside, Mitch closes the door behind him. Making his way around the table, his eyes never leave my face. “I did that,” he whispers, reaching out to brush a finger over the bump forming below my right eye. I wince, not so much because it hurts, but because his touch is just too much for me right now. Dropping to his knees, he wraps his arms around my waist, burying his face in my terry cloth covered chest. “I’m so sorry, Shelby.”

“It was an accident. I should have never grabbed you like that, I know you’d never hurt me like that,” I reply, pushing him away. “There. Now, your conscience is clear.”

Shaking his head, Mitch sits back on his heels. “That’s not the only reason I’m here.”

“You gonna start askin’ for my car now?” I deadpan.

“No,” he informs me, shaking his head. “I need you to understand something.”

“I thought you didn’t care if I understood your bullshit reasoning?” I ask, remembering how much of an asshole he was that night and how I wasn’t worth an explanation then. He just wanted to get it over and be done with it.

“I was wrong, okay? I was a complete asshole and an idiot for how I have handled all of this. The thing is, I’ve lost everything good I have ever had.” Yanking a hand through his hair, he blows out a breath. “When you told me you were falling in love with me, it scared the shit out of me. What should make me think that you’d be any different? That I wouldn’t lose you too, somehow, the moment I let my guard down.”

“At least you’ve had something to lose in the first place!” Sliding the chair back, I stand and step toward the sink. “I’ve never had anything worth missing in my life. Not until you. Just so you know, I have never said those words to anyone and meant them the way I did when they came tumbling out of my mouth.” Leaning my elbows on the island countertop that separates us, I shake my head. “You think you’re the only one afraid here? I’m terrified that I’ll never feel this way for anyone else. I don’t know if I can see the man I love every single day for the rest of my life and know that I can’t have him. That I am not worth the risk.”

“I don’t want that either.” Pushing to his feet, he rounds the counter. Brushing the hair from my face, he smiles down at me. “I don’t deserve you. I threw away every chance you’ve given me and I’ll understand if you laugh in my face and send me packin’. You’ll never know how sorry I am for how I’ve treated you. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you; I swear to God, I never intentionally used you. All I have ever tried to do was protect you from me.”

“I don’t want you to protect me from you, Mitch. I want you to let me in. I know it takes time, and that we can’t fix everything tonight, but we have to start somewhere.”

“I know that and that’s why I’m here now. I’m pretty sure if I walk away from you again, it may be the thing that breaks me for good.”

“Do I need to tie you up?” I ask, winking at him. “That’s always an option.”

“Fuck, I’ve missed that mouth,” he whispers under his breath. “Does this mean you forgive me? That you still want to be with me, Shelby?” he asks, his eyes softening.

“Of course you had to do this when I look like shit?” I whisper, unable to hide my smile. “Of course I do, you jackass.”

“You look beautiful,” he replies, leaning in to brush his lips over mine.

“Stop being sweet,” I mumble against his lips. “I’ll look back on this moment, while you’re being a damn Hallmark card poet, and groan knowing I was just out of the tub, wearing nothing but a robe, and lookin’ like I went a few rounds with a heavyweight. You couldn’t warn a girl?”

“Hallmark card poet?” he asks, arching a brow.

I nod, biting back my laugh. “What? Sometimes you sound like one too, you know?”

“Nothing but the robe, huh?” he asks, his eyes going wide. His hand slides into my hair to cup the back of my head. Tilting my head, he brushes his lips over my cheek before making a trail down to my ear. “Is it sweet if I tell you that I need to feel you right now or I’m going to lose my mind?”

“Hmmm. I’ll let that delayed reaction slide. For now.” Running my hands up his arms, I grip his shoulders through his t-shirt. “Is it sweet for me to say it’s about damn time?”

“I guess I should shut up and kiss you now, huh?”

“Any day now would be great,” I smirk, but it fades into a smile.

Mitch laughs, his fingers, on his other hand, yank on the tie holding my robe closed. The minute his lips touch mine, his hand slides inside my robe. I moan against his mouth the second his rough fingers touch my skin. He cups my breast, his thumb brushing over my hardening nipple.

His tongue teases my lips, begging for entry; I don’t hesitate. He kisses me hard and deep, but torturously slow. He takes his time to tease me, to taste me, while leaving his mark and making me crazy with need at the same time.

Breaking the kiss, he drops to his knees. His fingers slide up my inner thigh, while he keeps his eyes locked on mine. “Spread your legs for me, sweetness.”

The hungry look in his eyes has my stomach dropping into my toes. His tongue skims across his bottom lip as I do what he asked. Leaning in, he blows on my already overheating flesh before pressing a kiss to my pelvic bone.

“Oh my God!” I moan, closing my eyes.

Mitch smiles against my skin. “Wider,” he purrs against me, the vibrations sending a jolt straight to my clit. “I am going to taste every inch of you tonight.”

Not waiting for me to move, Mitch lifts my leg over his shoulder. He runs his tongue up the seam of my pussy before his mouth finds my clit. Gripping my ass with both hands, he growls like a fucking animal, rocking me into his face.

One of my hands goes into his hair, holding him to me, while the other grips the counter behind me, hanging on for dear life.

“Fuck!” I cry out, yanking his hair. “Yes!”

Then his mouth is gone. Opening my eyes, I am ready to kick him in the teeth if he is playing games with me like at his condo. “Mitch, I swear to all that is holy orgasmic bliss…”

Leaning back on his heels, he yanks his shirt over his head and pushes to his feet. “The things I’m going to do to you, aren’t going to be done on a tile floor.”

Taking my hand, he tugs me through the house and down the hall toward the bedroom. Stepping into the room, he hits the switch on the wall, causing the lamps on the two bedside tables to turn on. When he turns around to face me, I slip my hand free from his and close what little distance there is between us. “My turn.”

Yanking the shirt from his hand, I toss it to the floor and shove him to the mattress. Bracing himself on his elbows, he watches me, a wicked grin spreads across his face. “I’m all yours.”

Dropping the robe to the floor, I bite my lip, unsure where to start first. “Woman,” Mitch groans impatiently. “Take a picture then get over here and ride my face.”

My knees wobble and my stomach flips at his words. Stepping forward, I pop the button on his jeans and press my lips to the exposed skin. “Aw,” pressing my hand to my chest, I smile. “You have such a way with words. Why didn’t you start with that line when I opened the door?” I laugh before bending down and circling his nipple with my tongue.

“Got your attention, did it?” he moans, his hands coming to rest on my hips.

Climbing onto the mattress, I am quickly flipped around to face Mitch’s feet. I take his hand when he offers it to me and straddle his shoulders. “I’m going to eat your pussy until you scream,” he says before yanking me down onto his face.