Someone Else's Fairytale (37 page)

“Rumor has it, he's in
Albuquerque
now?” said Lori. The place was so loud, she almost had to shout. The television was blaring, someone was doing some kind of drum performance further down the mall, and the tables around us were packed with people chattering and laughing.

I leaned in closer so that I wouldn't have to yell. “Yeah. He moved in the other day.”

“Oh. My. Gosh.”

“He's got family here. I'm not the only reason-”

“You are totally involved with Jason-”

“Shhh!” I said. “Do you know how lucky I am that no one else has picked up on this?” I looked down at the picture of the two of us in
Vancouver
. I was paranoid that any day now, despite how careful Jason and I were, people would start to point at me and whisper behind their hands whenever I walked by. Apparently the
UNM
student body didn't read a ton of tabloids. No one had even asked if I knew him. Everyone else in the student union just now, ignored me.

“Have you heard the rumor he's with Gigi Malone?” said Lori.

“Yes, and I know Gigi, whom I'll bet started that rumor.”

“What about the one where he picked up three girls at a night club?”

“The night that he was Skyping with me all evening, yeah.”

“The one where he hooked up with a camerawoman?”

“Okay, I don't have a direct disproof of that one. I'll make sure to hack into his computer and check.” I rolled my eyes.

Lori laughed. She looked fantastic. Her eyes practically shone and her skin had a healthy glow. Life with Charles had just lit her up from the inside. I'd never seen her so happy. “Well, I have news,” she said.

“Hmm?”

“Charles is taking me to
Hobbs
to meet his family next weekend.”

“Nice. He met yours yet?” Lori's parents lived in Moriarity, just over the mountains from
Albuquerque
. Technically it was close, but they hardly ever came into town.

“Not yet. But soon. I've never felt like this before, Chlo. Things are
so
good.”

“I'm hap-” Over her shoulder I caught sight of something that brought me up short. Matthew came up the stairs, with his arm around a girl. She had lustrous blond hair, like a lion's mane, and catlike, green eyes.

Lori turned to see what I was staring at.

I looked away, fast.

“Michelle,” said Lori. “Her name's Michelle.”

“Right.”

“Goes to his church.”

“Mmmm.”

“Are you... okay?”

I wasn't. My palms had started to sweat. “Yeah,” I lied.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Matthew's figure slow and stop. It took all my courage to look at him again. He offered a small smile and a wave.

I turned away. “Can we go somewhere else?”

Lori raised an eyebrow. “Sure. Fine. But... he really wants to be friends again, you know? You've both moved on. Why can't you just put the past behind you?”

Jason's rental was a converted farmhouse on three acres of land off
Second Street
. He'd tried to go low key. The front gate required a security code, which I tapped in with shaking hands, and the house was set well back from the road and shielded by cottonwoods and poplars. The whole property was fenced, with alarms and security cameras. I pulled up to park in front of the garage and went around to the front door.

It was definitely springtime again. My nose and eyes itched with all the pollen in the air. A cottontail rabbit bounded away from me across the weedy field.

The door was slightly ajar and I could hear Jason talking on the phone inside. I went in and shut and locked it behind me.

“This one will break the streak, Ange,” he said. He was talking to his agent. “It's going to be a turkey. Everything fell apart during the shoot, so seriously, now is not the time to talk about an increase in- No, listen. I don't care who's making what, I want to have a career three years from now, so I say be conservative. I've gotta stay bankable.” He was in the other room, so he hadn't seen me yet. I wasn't sure if he'd heard the front door.

The front room was the living room with a cathedral ceiling and hardwood floors. I tossed my backpack down by the couch and sat. I had studying to do. I had a late shift at Flying Star, so I needed to work ahead on some things. But tears were already running down my cheeks.

Get a grip, I thought. I put both hands over my face. A sob bubbled up from my chest, followed by another. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out.

“Yeah... yeah... Just send that part to Keith. I already talked to him about it. Right... Okay. Talk to you later."

I dabbed my eyes with the backs of my hands. It didn't work. More tears kept on coming.

Gentle footsteps came towards me and the couch cushion sank as Jason sat down. His arms were around me now, his hand stroking my face. “Hey, what's wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing. Nothing. It's just... it's stupid.”

“Tell me.”

“I saw Matthew with his new girlfriend. It's nothing. It's... I'm just...”

“Oh.” Jason's took his hand from my cheek. “Yeah. You don't ever talk about him anymore.”

“I'm being dumb. The whole thing happened last term.”

“But clearly it still gets to you.”

I shrugged and tried again to clear the tears from my eyes. I was glad I hadn't put on much makeup that day.

Jason snatched a tissue from a nearby box and gave it to me.

“I'm sorry,” I said.

“You still have feelings for him, Chlo?”

“No. It isn't that. I wouldn't cross the street to talk to him now.”

“Hate's just the other side of love.”

“That isn't it, okay?”

Jason waited for me to continue. Obviously, I had some explaining to do, given I was still crying.

“He was different, is all,” I said. “It's something that's stayed with me.”

“Because he was your best friend?”

“Because up until he was a total jerk, he accepted me for who I am.”

“What do you mean by that, exactly?”

I dabbed my eyes. I wasn't sure this was the best time for the Talk, but I realized now that I needed it, even if it precipitated the end of us as a couple. Having Jason here in
Albuquerque
to be with me was stressful. I loved him, but I didn't see where this relationship could go. Any day now he'd invite me to spend the night and I'd have to tell him. “I've never been with a guy,” I said. “Intimately. I don't want that in my life right now.”

Jason stopped stroking my hair and sat back. “Okay.” He sounded uncertain, which wasn't the worst reaction I'd had. Rather than launch into questions, he waited for me to say more.

I dabbed my eyes again. The tears had stopped. “All my relationships dead end on that issue. Matthew-”

“Wears a purity ring.”

“Right. Being with him felt... comfortable in a way that... I dunno how to explain it.”

Jason ran his fingers through his hair with one hand. His other arm was still around me. For a long moment, he said nothing.

Well, I thought, here we go. Now he'll ask me what “right now” means and what exactly was and wasn't allowed. I braced myself for negotiations.

“So does my past bother you?”

“I'm not like everyone else you've been with-”

“Whoa, wait. The tabloids like to embellish, and people make assumptions and... yeah... I've done some crazy stuff too, but I'm not that guy, okay? You think Jen would still talk to me if I was? Or my mother? My dad would kick my butt.”

I took a deep breath and shifted my weight. “I don't know what you expect-”

Jason grasped my wrist, as if afraid I would pull away. “I don't expect anything. Whatever pace you're comfortable with, it's fine.”

“But, look,” I said, “you can't be indifferent-”

“Well, no.” He shrugged, but his eyes belied amusement. “That's not the word I'd use.” He pulled me closer, nuzzled my cheek and caressed the inside of my wrist with his thumb. “I love you. I mean that, all right? I don't know what kind of guys you've been dating in college, but I'm over the novelty of not living with my parents and having my own king size bed. Really.”

I couldn't help it. I laughed. That was a new twist in the Talk I'd never heard before.

Jason moved his hand from my wrist to my cheek and gave me a long, lingering kiss. For the first time, I let myself unwind all the way in his arms. He kissed my forehead. “So... we okay?”

I nodded.

He pressed his lips against mine again.

Matthew receded to the dark recesses of my memory. This, I now knew, was what it was like to be in a relationship with my best friend.

Three days later, when Matthew sidled up to me in Media Studies before class began, I turned to him and said, “Yeah, you're a jerk.”

“How are you?”

“Really, really good. Jason won. Deal with it.” I kept my voice pitched low. This was
not
the class to let my secret out in. It was teeming with Jason's fans. “I'd ask how you are, but I don't care.”

He pulled out the chair next to me and sat down.

“I'm not going to stop making comments like that any time soon,” I said. “And I don't want to hear any more cracks about my boyfriend being a player.”

Matthew got out his notebook and a pen and set up for class.

“I'm also going to be sarcastic whenever I feel like it.”

“The horror.”

“Yeah, like that. You know what's funny? It wasn't the guy with the wild past who turned out to be the player. It was
someone else.”

“So you're talking to me again?”

“Like it or not.”

He gave me a lopsided smile. “I am still sorry, okay?”

“Good thing you aren't that great of a kisser, huh?”

“Good thing I know you like to use irony.”

“Dream on.”

“He'd better deserve you.”

“I love him.”

Matthew nodded. I knew he had a girlfriend now and that our little encounter had been ages ago, but the gesture still looked like an acknowledgment of defeat. That made me able to smile at him. “Okay, I'm out of insults for now. I'll have to think of more.”

“Take your time. You know where to find me.”