We stared at each other.
âThere isn't one, is there?'
She shook her head. âI guess Sean's friend used it.'
âWhat's the point of supplying two sticks and only one jar?' I snapped.
âI suppose women don't usually share them,' she offered.
âWe'll have to improvise.'
âShall I fetch a bucket?'
âHow much do you want to collect?' I asked. Her nervous giggle filled the room.
I glanced around and eventually saw a pencil sharpener. It was one of those container ones with the sharpener in the lid. I emptied out the shavings and held it up triumphantly.
âI'm not using that,' she scoffed.
âWe'll wash it out.'
âNo way.'
âRight, then. Let's just wait for Mum to get here this afternoon and we'll ask her for something instead.'
âFine. Give it to me.'
âDon't fill it up. Justâ¦catch a bit in there,' I said, consulting the leaflet. She shuddered as she took it and headed for the bathroom.
I paced as I waited, checking and rechecking the instructions:
Place the tip of the wand in the sample and wait three minutes. Two solid blue lines mean a positive result.
Eventually she plodded back, container in hand, and handed it over.
âYuck. It's warm.' I squirmed.
âIt's fresh. What did you expect? It's bloody impossible to wee into a pencil sharpener,' she complained. âGuys should have to take these tests. At least they've got the equipment to aim.' She dropped onto my bed. âWhat now?'
I waved the wand like a fairy godmother, uncomfortably aware that I had no power to make her dreams come true.
She was calm now, as if finally confronting what she'd been dreading had made her strong.
I placed the wand in the sample.
Her composure didn't last. âI can't bear it,' she said, jumping up. âCall me when you've got news.' She darted out before I could stop her.
My eyes never left the clock. When the three minutes were up, I resisted the urge to steal a peek. I raced to Terry's room. She was huddled on her bed, cuddling Mitsy.
âDid you check?' she asked dully.
I shook my head. âCome on, let's find out together.'
She rose and walked trance-like to my room.
âYou look.'
I refused. âThis is your life we're talking about. You're going to have to face up to things. I'm right behind you, but you need to be the one to check it.'
âI don't want you behind me. I want you beside me.' She was almost wailing.
âI am beside you.' I clutched her left hand and watched as she reached across with her right and lifted the wand. She held it up to her face.
âTwo stripes positive, one stripe negative,' I reminded her and held my breath.
âIt's two,' she mumbled. âIt's positive.'
I slumped on my chair.
She burst into tears and sank onto my bed in a crumpled heap.
Terry cried for a long time, but eventually she stopped, and suddenly sat up. She slid a band from her wrist and tucked her hair up into a ponytail.
âI'm sorry,' she said.
âYou don't have to apologise to me.'
âYes, I do. I've stuffed up our whole family.'
I began to protest, but she held up her hand.
âWell, I've stuffed up your sharpener, anyway.'
And all at once, she was back in control.
It was what I've come to expect of my sister, a strength I've always envied. She knew how to face reality head-on. Terry had blazed and dazzled in Australia while I had slowly shrivelled. I knew she would shine again in her own good time.
âI'm not going to school today.'
âI'll cover for you.'
âI need to call Sean, I guess, and then I'll tell Mum.'
âJust Mum?'
âMum first, I think.'
âPerhaps you should break it to them both at the same time.'
She considered this.
âAnd the benefit is, if Dad faints, Mum will be too busy helping him to beat the crap out of you.'
She almost smiled. âYou're right. It's a lot to ask of Mum to break my bad news to Dad, isn't it? It's only putting off the inevitable, I suppose.'
âI'll come with you when you tell them.'
She did smile this time. âAre you sure?
âI'm sure.'
âNot tonight, though. I can't. I need a few days, Isla.'
âOkay, but just remember that the longer you leave it, the harder it will get. The baby's going to need to be checked out too, I guess, and you'll need to get advice about what to do.' We both stared at her stomach.
âJust a couple of days, I promise.'
I hugged her tightly and stroked her hair. âGo have a shower and try to relax a bit. At least you aren't in the dark now. That's a huge start.'
On the train, I started to write a fake note from Mum for Terry's teacher. By the time I arrived and delivered the note to the office, I was slowly beginning to get my head around the situation.
Sensing there was some room in my brain now, my own issues had a go at cramming their way in. I didn't want to see Sam today.
As it turned out, though, I didn't have to avoid him because he wasn't there.
Miss Reid asked to see our photos when I went into art. She flicked through them quickly. âNot bad. Yours are brilliant. I don't see any point in you joining us at the pool this lesson, you're so far ahead now. Why don't you use this time to start your watercolour? Or get on with mounting your Major Work photos? Do it in the library though,' she added. âI have to make sure you're supervised.'
Good. I needed to be supervised. I was a lunatic with crazy thoughts. Who knew what would happen if the librarian wasn't guarding me?
I put Sam's photos in his art tray and went to the library. It suited me to spend double art by myself, and I was only slightly aware of the drowning comments that were going around at my expense. So much had happened since the party, it just didn't seem important anymore.
âWhat's red, ugly and sinks like a brick?' Molly Phillips announced to no one in particular later on, during geography.
Then she answered her own question â âIsla McBay' â and some of her minions snickered.
Miss Cologon gave us a cool stare. It was enough to shut Molly up.
I wondered about Molly. She'd just spent the last week trying to make contact with me via Jack, yet here she was big-noting herself at my expense.
Well, Miss Molly, your brother's news is about to ruin your life, and the guy you love could be mine if I want. You need to give me more respect.
By the end of the day, I wasn't feeling too crash-hot. I dropped my footy film in to be developed and kicked the frog on my way out.
At home, I told Mum I was sick and she did that mum thing: she put her hand on my forehead and then groped around my neck, checking my glands or something.
âGlands are up,' she declared, âand your temperature. You're coming down with something. It must be all that swimming. You might be living in the Land of Pools now, but you have to be sensible about getting wet.'
âBut I was pushedâ¦' I stopped. She was laughing at me.
âI'm sick, Mum. Give me a break.'
She kissed my cheek and sent me upstairs with a hot cup of tea.
I went to bed and slept like the dead.
âThe problem with Terry is Terry.'
(Gran McGonnigle â lots of times)
The rest of the week went by in a blur, thanks to a bout of tonsillitis. I slept through most of it.
On Wednesday, Sean told Molly the news.
âWhat did she say?' I asked from under my doona.
Terry shrugged. âShe thinks we should tell our parents.'
âWe already figured that one out,' I growled.
âBoth at the same time,' Terry added.
âOh.' I searched for a wisecrack but came up empty.
On Saturday, Dad popped his head in to Terry's room to tell me that my photos of Steve Ferris had done the trick.
âThey'll be charging him soon.'
Terry's mouth flew open.
âWhat a shame you had no clue the guy was related to Jack before you gave Dad the pictures,' she said when Dad had left. Her mouth dropped open again when I didn't respond, and suddenly it became vital to me that she understood.
But there was no need to explain my actions. âWhat a crap position to be in,' she went on. âYou're braver than me. I think I would have just kept out of it.'
I wished I had, too. I felt sick at the thought of what Jack would say.
On Sunday, Terry asked, âIsla, if you were me, what would you do now?'
âI have no idea.' From her expression, I could see I'd let her down.
âI'm serious, Terry. I've thought about it heaps. It would be so hard to decide. I don't think I could give you a definite answer unless it was actually happening to me. But promise I'll do my best to back you up, whatever you decide.'
She nodded and flashed me a grateful smile.
âTell them tonight, okay? I think it's time.'
Next thing I knew, it was Monday again. I carted my art portfolio in on the train. I was so pleased with it. The extra time off had given me a chance to think about how to present my visuals of crowds; I'd tried to get a narrative running through it about excitement and group identity, but I hadn't used a lot of captions because I hoped the pictures would tell the story.
When I reached the schoolyard, I felt like I'd been away for a lifetime, not a week. There were a few things I needed to catch up with now that I was feeling better. I needed to speak to Molly Phillips; it was time to discuss our siblings. I might even have to enlist her support in getting Terry and Sean to tell our parents, because they were still stalling.
âIs-la.'
I cringed. It was Sam, bringing me out of my dark thoughts.
âActually it's Isle-a, Sam, not Is-la.'
It was out before I could stop it.
âReally? Geez, you've been pretty cool to put up with me saying your name wrong all this time.'
I melted. He was adorable.
âSorry I didn't get to see you last week; I was away sick. And then you were away.'
âThroat infection,' I said.
âMe too, and we haven't even kissedâ¦yet.' He grinned.
My heart sped up. I couldn't think of a single response.
âIs your Major Workâ¦' We spoke at the same time and laughed.
âReady?' I ended for both of us.
âAlmost. I can't wait to see them; the whole class has been so into it. Hope I'm not first.'
I agreed. It was always hard to be the first presenter, especially when it was an oral assessment task.
âGot to go. I'll catch you later about the other thing,' he said meaningfully.
The going-out-to-a-movie other thing, probably. Watching him walk away, I was tempted to say yes.
âWhat's up, Fishface?' Two hands briefly pinched my waist and I jumped, startled by the voice.
Jack!
I turned to face him. Brown eyes, dark-brown hair, skin bronzed by the Queensland sun and a dimple on his right cheek. I'd never noticed that before. He wasn't even close to being a geek.
âShut it, Ferris,' I snapped, knowing he was expecting me to bite.
âHave you dried off since the party then?'
âOh, very funny. How was your trip?'
âCool. There wasn't a chick on the entire Gold Coast who wasn't crying when I left.'
âTears of joy, I think you'll find, you deluded fool.'
He winked.
Tell me about the photos.
Instead, I said, âSam and I got our underwater shots done. How did yours go?'
At the mention of Sam's name, his smile became less cocky. âFantastic. There were so many hot women queuing up to be in the shoot, I just had to take photos of my sister instead. Couldn't start a fight, now, could I?'
âYou haven't even got a sister, Jack.' I'd caught him out.
âWell, if you insist on making yourself jealous. I was only trying to spare your feelings, but I did just happen to make friends with a couple of girls who both kindly agreed to pose for me.'
âWho's jealous?' I challenged.
âCome to think of it, how do you know I haven't got a sister? Have you been checking up on me?'
I couldn't be sure, but I think his chest was beginning to puff up.
âYou have, haven't you? You've been checking me out.'
âJack, I remain supremely uninterested in everything about you, I can assure you of that. Sam just happened to mention it when we were in the darkroom.'
âWhat else did Sam just happen to mention?' He seemed a bit anxious.
Yeah, I've seen your photos, buddy. You've got some explaining to do.
âOh, this and that. We had fun getting the work done.'
âDid it take you long?'
âHours, and then we had to develop themâ¦in the darkroom.' I went for a breathless kind of voice. Who was the jealous one now?
âRightâ¦I suppose Molly liked that,' he countered. His tone definitely altered when he said her name.
âMolly who?'
âOh, just a girl called Molly Phillips, your possible in-law,' he whispered.
I came crashing back down to earth. I couldn't even be mad at him.
âSorry, Isla,' he said immediately. âAny news?' He'd kept his voice low.
âIt was positive.'
âOh shit. Have you spoken to Molly yet?'
âNo, but Sean told her.'
âAnd your parents?'
I shook my head.
âYou better tell them soon.'
âOh, duh.'
âSorry.'
âStop apologising,' I snapped.
We'd reached the classroom door, and it was too late now to
mention the photos. âIs your Major Work finished?' I asked as we went in. He made a weird face.