Something Scandalous (22 page)

Feeling his shaft at her entrance, she waited for the decadent pressure of him filling her. In one swift move, he pulled her toward him, thrusting himself into her depths. She watched as he stopped as if attempting to gain control. But she didn’t want control, she wanted passion.

She moved against him, sliding her hips up and down on him until he groaned. He grabbed her hips and thrust into her swiftly. Each plunge sent her higher, moaning in pleasure. Suddenly she realized it wasn’t just her groaning. The desk moved and groaned with the driving force of their desire.

“Will, the desk—” she managed, just as its legs gave out.

Will grabbed her with a laugh as the desk crashed to the floor, and brought her to the bed. “Damn, that’s a first.”

Back on the softness of the bed, they clung to each other. Desire giving way to pressure, and pressure giving way to a shattering climax as she’d never experienced before. She cried out his name as he shook from his own pleasure. He rested on top of her, their hearts pounding in unison, their breathing uneven.

Slowly, he lifted his head and kissed her softly on the lips. She stared into his brown eyes and knew without a doubt that she loved him. But the words wouldn’t come forth.

Will glanced away first as if uncomfortable with the intimacy of their embrace. Then, he started to chuckle.

Elizabeth looked where his gaze had landed. Her old desk lay in pieces on the floor. But something caught her eye. She had only kept a few papers in the desk, nothing of importance. Yet, there in the rubble of the oak was a leather-bound book.

“Will, what is that book?” she asked softly.

“I assumed it was one of your novels or poetry books,” he answered with a shrug. Slowly, he moved off her and grabbed a cloth for them both. After cleaning up, he walked over to the remains of the desk and picked up the book.

He turned with a smile and held up the volume. “I believe this might be what you have been looking for.”

“My mother’s diary!” Elizabeth sat up, pulling the coverlet with her. “Let me see it.”

He tossed it onto her lap and crawled back into bed with her.

Elizabeth touched the book with loving fingers. This was it. Her mother’s journal. “How?” she whispered.

“The secret panel must have been in your desk all along.”

Tears blurred her vision. “I checked this room twice and never found anything.”

“Is that it?”

She blinked away the tears and opened the diary. Inside on the first page was her mother’s name. “Mary Camille Kendal.”

She looked up at Will, whose face went pale. “What is wrong?”

“Camille?”

“Yes, only my father called her that. He thought Mary was too common a name for her.”

“Oh, dear God,” he mumbled.

Will stared at the book, unable to move. Her mother’s name was Camille. The memory of the entry in the late duke’s journal came back to him. A wager. They had wagered over bedding a servant. Camille had been his wife, not his mistress. This was going to hurt Elizabeth deeply.

“What is wrong, Will?”

“How far did you get in your father’s journal?” he asked, hoping she hadn’t discovered the truth.

She shrugged. “Not far. I found it quite disturbing.”

“Elizabeth, you might not want to read your mother’s diary.”

Elizabeth frowned at him. “Of course I do. There might be mention of my real father in there.”

He took the book out of her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Darling, perhaps you might find it more disturbing than your father’s—I mean, the late duke’s journal. Maybe even, you should give up this idea of discovering your real father. The duke never disavowed you. In the eyes of the law, you are the duke’s daughter.”

She smiled gently at him and then caressed his cheek. “It is very kind of you to try to protect me from getting hurt. But I need to know.”

“Elizabeth, it might not be good news.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Will, my mother probably had an affair with another titled gentleman. I most certainly will not seek out the man and claim to be his daughter. I just want to know for my own benefit.”

“What if he’s not a gentleman?”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Even if he was a non-titled gentleman, the man must be from a well respected family. There is no one else they would have socialized with.”

“But, what if the man is a servant, or a rogue?”

“Oh, please,” she said with a laugh. “My mother would never have done such a…”

“What it is?”

She reached for her father’s journal that rested on the nightstand. “Did you read this?”

“Only a few pages. Why?” Had she found the entry with the wager?

She opened the book and flipped the pages until she came to an entry for January 12. “Did you read this?”

“No, I don’t believe I did.”

She snatched it away before he could read the entire note. “I cannot let you see this. It’s terribly embarrassing.”

“It might not be as bad as some of the other entries,” he said quietly.

“It gets worse?” she asked in a high tone.

“I don’t know for certain, but what I read was not good. It was more than disturbing.”

“Oh, God,” she said, covering her face with her hands.

He drew her into his arms. “You don’t have to face this right now.”

“Yes, I do. I have to know. For years I have gone to balls and stared at all the gentlemen, wondering if one of them could be my father.” She wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I have to know.”

“All right. Do you want me to leave you alone?” The last thing he wanted to do was let her read these disgusting journals alone. But he also hated the idea that she would be embarrassed reading them with him.

Elizabeth stared at Will, and then at the books on her lap. He had already read some of her father’s journal. He already knew some of what happened. And she didn’t think she could handle reading the rest alone.

“No,” she whispered. “Please stay with me.”

He pulled her closer and kissed her softly. “I shall be right here for you. Nothing we read will ever cross my lips to another.”

“Thank you.”

She sat next to him with her head on his shoulder and opened her mother’s diary first. As she did, she prayed she would find some admission that the duke had somehow forced her into his depraved ways. But reading the entries from the month of January made her realize that her own mother was just as dissolute as the duke.

January’s entries discussed the affair she was having with a man referred to only as Lord M. By the end of the month, it appeared Lord M had broken off the affair.

Elizabeth’s hands shook as she turned the page into February. Would she discover another man had taken Lord M’s place? Her mother and the duke had attended a party at a nearby estate. Her mother’s entry related the entertainment of the night, watching a seventeen-year-old virgin being deflowered by the lord of the manor. And then all the other men had their chance with the girl, as well as with the other women in the room.

“Oh, God,” she cried. How could the woman she thought of as kind have been such an awful person?

“Maybe you should skip ahead to June and July,” Will said.

She nodded, knowing she could not bear another minute of this wicked book. No wonder it had been so well hidden. She flipped the pages until she came to the entry for July 10.

“Now they are wagering over servants!” Elizabeth shook her head in disgust.

“Red-haired footman,” Will mumbled. “This only gets worse.”

“How so?” Elizabeth had no idea how this could get any worse. The journal was nothing but wicked entries about who she had sexual congress with, and when.

He picked up the duke’s journal and started turning pages while she continued reading. It wasn’t until the entry for four days later that she gasped.

“What?” he asked.

“She won the wager.”

“I know.”

She glanced back at him with a frown. “How could you possibly have known?”

He blew out a breath and handed her the duke’s journal, opened to the page he’d read yesterday. “When I read this I had never heard your mother being called Camille before. I assumed the woman he referred to was his mistress.”

Elizabeth started to read the entry from the duke’s journal. “He watched! How depraved were they?”

“Keep reading.”

Elizabeth read the entry twice. “No, it’s not possible. A footman! My father was a footman!”

She threw the book across the room with all her might. For years, she had imagined who her father might be, but never had she thought her mother would have bedded a servant. Elizabeth stared at the book on her lap. She wanted to burn them both and scorch the images from her head.

“We don’t know for certain, Elizabeth,” Will said quietly. “We are only assuming.”

“Will! The man had red hair. The timing is right. Of course, he is my father. Some nameless footman. Neither of them even mentioned his name, as if he didn’t matter.” Elizabeth barely held back her tears. Rage and sadness warred inside her. She had never been so sickened in all her life.

“Darling, I think we should keep reading to see if there is any mention of another man.”

“Very well.” Elizabeth read through the rest of July’s entries and discovered that her mother had taken ill soon after her night of debauchery with the footman. They had left the party as soon as she was well enough to travel.

She skimmed through the beginning of August, when she noticed a pattern of sickness every morning. Finally, toward the end of August, her mother mentioned it again.

Elizabeth gasped as Will muttered a foul curse.

She could not read another line. She had grown up believing her mother loved her, but it had all been a lie. Her mother had slept with another man to win the money to buy a bonnet. She had manipulated the man just to get what she wanted.

Elizabeth refused to look at Will and see the disgust she knew had to be written on his face. How could anyone look upon her and not see her shame. She would never be able to face Society again. After reading the diary, she was certain that many people knew she was nothing but the daughter of a servant and a whore.

Slowly, Will removed the book from her hand. “I think we should burn them both.”

She had no idea what to think. Her entire world just turned upside down. If they burned the book no one could ever prove she wasn’t who she said she was—the late duke’s daughter. But if Caroline or Richard ever spread their hateful gossip about Elizabeth and Will being siblings, she might need proof.

“No, we cannot do that.”

“Elizabeth, we must,” Will insisted firmly. “No one can find out about this. It would ruin you.”

“Hide them both in the panel of your fireplace. No one will find them there,” she replied in a flat tone. She suddenly felt numb, as if someone had stolen all her emotions from her.

“Darling, everything will work out. No one will ever discover the truth, and you shall continue to be the daughter of the duke.” He tried to pull her back into his arms but she resisted.

She shrugged out of his arms and moved to the side of the bed. “I know, Will.”

He edged closer to her and put his warm hands on her shoulders. “I know, too. But it doesn’t matter. No one else will ever know your true identity.”

Elizabeth jumped out of bed and faced him. Fury raced through her. How could he not realize how much this meant to her?

“It does matter. It changes everything. My mother slept with a footman in order to win a wager. A wager! And why? Because she wanted an expensive bonnet that the duke refused to pay for.”

Hearing the words aloud made her cringe. How could anyone do such a wicked thing?
Her mother.
Her mother had done it. All over a bonnet.

Elizabeth briefly wondered what other wicked things her mother had done to get what she wanted.

The ache in her heart became too much to bear any longer. She covered her face as hot tears burned down her cheeks. And once again, Will was there for her. He pulled her back into his arms and held her tightly. Caressing her hair, he murmured words of comfort to her but nothing could ease her anguish.

She clung to him, needing him more in that moment than she had ever needed another person. He kissed the top of her head. But she wanted more than comforting from him. She pressed her body closer to him and felt the instant reaction building between them. Tomorrow she would determine what to do with her life but tonight, she wanted to be in the safety of his arms again.

He brought her back to the bed and laid her against the pillows. Gently, he kissed her and she poured her love into every kiss. As he made love to her, she knew without a doubt that she loved him. He comprehended the truth of her background and still wanted her.

Will awoke before dawn and stared at the beautiful woman in the bed next to him. He should leave her now and get back to his room before the servants started their day. Instead, he watched the gentle rise and fall of her breasts as she slept.

Making love with her a second time had been the most incredibly loving thing he had ever experienced. His only thought had been to help her through her pain. But everything felt different that second time. It was as if she couldn’t get enough of him.

Almost as if she were saying good-bye.

He shook his head to clear himself of such morose thoughts. Elizabeth wasn’t going anywhere. He would make certain of that. As he lay in her bed watching her, he made his decision. He would ask her to marry him this evening after dinner. And he would tell her that he was staying in England.

Slowly, he slipped out of bed so as not to wake her. He picked up the clothing scattered across the room and placed her chemise by her pillow so she could find it before her maid walked into the room. After pulling on his trousers, he crept to the door like a thief. He paused and glanced back at her once more before leaving the room.

Tonight, she would become his betrothed. His sisters would be ecstatic to learn that Elizabeth would be their new sister. Here in England, he would build his new life. And he would make certain he did whatever possible to ease the sufferings of the less fortunate. That way he would still be living up to his stepmother’s ideals, but he could do it with the power of his name and fortune.

A few hours later, he was finally rested and ready to face the day. After dressing, he left his room and crept to the door of Elizabeth’s bedroom. He peered inside and discovered she had already gone downstairs.

As he reached the bottom step, he stopped and asked the footman, “Have you seen Lady Elizabeth?”

“She left a few moments ago for Miss Reynard’s home, Your Grace.”

Damn. He wanted to find out how she was feeling. Perhaps she needed to talk with her friends. Hopefully, she wouldn’t tell them too much information. Keeping this a secret was necessary for her reputation.

“Your Grace,” the footman said as Will started toward the morning room.

“Yes, Kenneth?”

“A missive was delivered an hour ago. I left it on the desk in your study.”

A missive? Curiosity forced him to walk to the study. He found the note in the center of his desk and picked it up. He didn’t recognize the seal.

After breaking the seal, he opened the letter and read it. “No,” he whispered. “How could it be possible?”