Something Wanton (Mystics & Mayhem) (2 page)

“It was pretty obvious the girl was totally screwed.  Don’t get me wrong, she lived…kind of…but she was still screwed.  The demon had infected her.  She had become what is known as a darkling, a human that’s been infected by the essence of a demon.  Is this starting to sound familiar to you, genius?”

I sat there, too stunned to speak as the truth finally sank in.  She wasn’t telling me some messed up fairy tale.  She was telling me
my
story.  She was, in her own warped way, trying to break it to me easy. 

She could have candy-coated it and dipped it in chocolate, and it still wouldn’t have made
what she was telling me easier to swallow.  She was telling me that I was some kind of half-
demon
!  And that meant she was…

“You’re the part I felt being ripped away when I was trying to save Jack, aren’t you?” I asked, trying to breathe through the panic starting to creep in
on me.

“Yeah,” she sighed, sitting back in her chair.  “Sucks to be me, huh?”

“W-where are you now?  You’re not…” I had to stop and swallow hard before I could force the rest of that sentence out around the boulder-sized lump lodged in my throat, “…you’re not on the lost plane, are you?”

I pictured again those monsters waiting to greet—and eat—any form of energy that got sucked through the portal that had taken Bastian’s demonic essence and thought I might be sick.  The idea that I’d lost part of me to
those ghouls was enough to send me straight over the edge into full-fledged crazy.

“No, I’m not on the lost plane,” she said, laying her icy hand on my arm in an effort to comfort me.  And, strangely, it actually did.  “I was headed that way, don’t get me wrong, but something saved me.  One minute I was watching those…
things
…reach for me, the next I was wrapped in something warm and fluffy.  The next thing I knew, I was here wandering around looking for
your
crazy ass.”

“Where are we, anyway?” I asked.

“We’re not anywhere, Ember,” she said with a half-hearted shrug.  “We’re just
here
.  When you’re gone, maybe I’ll be somewhere else.  It might sound strange, but I’m okay.  I’ve accepted it.  Now you have to accept what
you
are without me.”

“So is that what I am now?” I asked, staring down at my hands.  “I’m a darkling?”

“Yeah, you are,” she said, patting my arm again.  “Welcome to the ranks of the Immortal Undead, babe.”

I sat there and stared out into the darkness, trying to get what she had said to sink in.  My chest felt like it was caving in and my eyes burned like I was about to flood Oblivion with tears, but none came.

“You’re going to be
really
hot, though,” Other Ember said in an obvious attempt to make me feel better as she steadily chipped away at my world.  “That’s something, right?”

“If you say so,” I whispered.

Yeah, the fact that I was about to be an undead hottie
was
something.  Only…for some reason, I didn’t think it was anything
good
. 

“How do I get you back?” I asked, hoping there was an easy solution—because, you know, my life was just a walk in the park. 
Oh, and demons are as harmless as cute, fuzzy bunnies. 
Riiight
.  “If I can get you back, I’ll be basically human again, right?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted quietly, sitting back in her chair again and staring sadly into the darkness.  “It’s never happened before.  Darklings stay darklings or go full-fledged demon.  I’m not sure there
is
a way back.”

I couldn’t accept that.  There had to be a way.  If I could lose a piece of myself, there had to be a way to put it back. 

Before I could really think the problem
through, the darkness around me started to get a little lighter and my double started to fade around the edges, like she was blurring.  I struggled to stay in Oblivion with her, if only until I figured it out, but it wasn’t to be.

“You have to go,” Other Ember said sadly, a tear slipping down her grayish cheek.  “You’re not supposed to be here.  You have to go back now.”

Go back to what?  To a life that wasn’t mine anymore?  I wasn’t Ember anymore!  I was only
half
of her!  That meant only
half
of Kim and Blake’s best friend would go back.  Only
half
of Grams’ granddaughter would return.  Only
half
of the girl Tyler had risked his life to save would be left. 

And only
half
of Nathan’s soul mate would wake up from the dead.  What if he didn’t love the part of me that came back?  And if he didn’t, what did I have to go back to?

Before I could protest, the other part of me stood up and started to walk away.  I watched her go with a sense of panic-driven dread
as consciousness pushed me further toward the light.  Just before she disappeared, I called her name—my name—and she turned around.  I wanted to cry with her when I saw the tears on her cheeks. I saw it in her eyes then.  She had already given up.

Well, she might have, but
I
damn sure wasn’t going to.  It might not be next week or next month or maybe even next year, but I
would
fix this.  The alternative was just…unthinkable. 

“I’ll get you back,” I told her, resisting consciousness.  “I’ll find a way, I promise.  There’s got to be some kind of spell or incantation or potion or something.  If anyone can figure this out, it’s me. I’m a witch
, right?”

She looked at me for a long moment, and the tears on her cheeks were like daggers straight to my heart. 
With a sad shake of her head, she turned and disappeared into the darkness.  Her final words echoed back to me just as consciousness gave me one final shove toward reality.

“
No, you’re not,” they whispered. “Not anymore.”

I woke up with a gasp that sounded like I hadn’t taken a breath in months rather than minutes.  To be honest, it kind of felt that way, too, and I didn’t know if that was because I was waking up dead or because of the last words my double had whispered from the darkness of Oblivion.

Not a witch
. 
Not a witch.  Not a witch. 
Those three words kept repeating themselves over and over in my head, and I was kind of surprised to feel a sense of loss at the idea.  It was like…like I’d had something amputated, something I’d never thought I would miss until it was gone.

For a long moment, I just laid there with my eyes closed and mourned that loss. 
How many times had I wished my powers away?  A hundred?  Probably more. I hated being a witch.  In my warped view, coming into my powers had ruined my life.

N
ow I just wanted them back.

Maybe it’s for the best,
I tried to tell myself. 
I was never very good at any of it anyway.  Besides, what’s there to miss?  Annoying ghosts?  Crazy death premonitions?  Blowing shit up?

Well,
yeah, actually.  Because, looking back, that stuff was kind of cool.

Telling myself to get over it, that I had more important things to worry about, I decided it was time to find out where my unlucky ass had ended up—because, let’s face it, this is me we’re talking about and I doubted it was anywhere good.
  If the Bad Karma Fairy had gotten a vote on my destination, I was probably smack dab in the middle of the ninth circle of Hell.

Please don’t let me be buried,
I started to chant silently, fighting off a way-too-vivid mental image of me in a box six feet under.  I’ve spent some time in a coffin, thank you very much.  If I opened my eyes and found myself in a
buried
coffin, I was going to find the Bad Karma Fairy and rip her damn wings off before shoving her wand right up her…

Yeah, you get the idea.

I forced myself to calm down and think rationally.  What I needed to do was figure out just how scared I
needed
to be.  I got my first little flutter of hope when I took a deep breath and didn’t smell the rich odor of freshly turned dirt.  In fact, the air around me smelled…wonderful, like Nathan and some kind of food. 

Taking that as a good sign, I concentrated on the other things I could hear and feel to reassure myself.  I was lying on something soft.  I could hear the gentle whoosh of the central heating system.  I was covered by something very warm.

All in all, not too bad,
I thought, a little of the panic I’d woke up with starting to trickle away. 
Of course, the only way to really find out…

I was going to have to open my eyes.  God, I didn’t want to.  Because, while I was warm and I could breathe and I was surrounded by peace and quiet, I still felt like I’d landed on a different planet and the alien population was just lying in wait, ready to pounce and eat me as soon as I
made any sudden moves. 

I tried to figure it out, but I couldn’t quite put a finger on what was making my O
h-Shit-O-Meter jump into the red zone.  My eyes scrunched tighter, and I frowned as I tried to remember what had happened after Death’s cute little derriere had rejected me.  But it was all just a big blank.  There was just the memory of stinging ash and bone, monstrous creatures reaching for me, and something warm and soft saving me.

Or, rather,
not
saving me.  Trust me, I could remember Death very well.   I could also remember him deciding I wasn’t quite good enough to go with him to…well, wherever dead people go.

The problem was, I didn’t
feel
dead.  In fact, other than my weird the-aliens-are-going-to-eat-me paranoia, a slightly painful headache, and a weird kind of humming beneath my skin, I felt fine.  Better than fine, actually.

Was it possible that I
hadn’t
died?  Maybe I had only thought I’d felt my heart stop.  Maybe I’d dreamed the whole thing.  Maybe Grams had…

And that’s when it hit me.  It wasn’t what I could feel or hear or smell that was turning me into a terrified twit; it was what I couldn’t.  There were no voices.  No sounds of footsteps.  No
sense that someone was close by.  There was absolutely no other sign of life around me.

I was alone.  Completely and totally alone.

“No!” I gasped as my eyes flew open in alarm.  Even the sight of the familiar ceiling above Nathan’s bed wasn’t enough to dim the sudden overwhelming terror I felt.

Where was everyone?  Nathan wouldn’t have left me.  He wouldn’t have.  If Nathan was anything, it was overprotective to the point of being a nuisance.  And Grams.  I was Grams’ baby.  She wouldn’t have left me all alone, not knowing if I was going to wake up or not.  Kim and Blake and Tyler should have been right there, Kim pacing next to the bed, alternating between crying and demanding that I wake up and talk to her.

But they weren’t there. 
Nobody
was there. 

That truth was enough to propel me
from the bed like someone had jabbed me in the butt with a cattle prod.  I nearly fell over when my knees started wobbling like they hadn’t been used in about a millennium.  It was only sheer willpower that kept me on my feet.  Luckily, that was something I had tons of.

I looked around me, waiting for the room to melt away and the darkness I’d been stuck in before to return.  After a few minutes, I accepted that I really was home.  The
grayish-silver paint on the walls was the same as it had always been.  The black and silver comforter on the platform-style king-sized bed was the same one I’d snuggled beneath for months.  The same art still hung on the walls.  The same lamps still lit the dim room. 

The only thing that was different was that, for the first time
ever
, I was there alone.

“Nathan!” I
yelled, sure that he was there somewhere and the feeling that I was alone was all in my head.

My hand immediately flew to my throat.  Something was wrong with my voice.  It sounded different, smokier, more seductive. 

Bad sign number one.

Deciding I could figure out why I suddenly sounded like a smoky-voiced lounge singer when I figured out where my family
and friends were, I forced my legs to move.  I stumbled my way out of the bedroom and opened the door across the hall.  The antique canopy bed was perfectly made, the violet and cream bed hangings tied back with the kind of precision only Grams could have managed. 

But there was no Grams.

I tried the living room next.  I winced when I walked into the room and the sunlight streaming through the floor-to-ceiling bank of windows hit my pupils.  I used my hand to shield my eyes, and gave the room a cursory look even though I already knew what I would find—a comfortable leather sectional, a lot of electronics.

A
nd no Nathan.

I checked the kitchen next,
but it was as empty as the rest of the house.  Kim wasn’t at the table drinking coffee.  Blake wasn’t raiding the fridge.  Tyler wasn’t sketching by the window.  Not only were they not there, but it looked like no one had been there in
days
. 

By the time I made it back to the master bedroom, I had accepted the truth.
  They really
had
left me.  Something inside me that had only just begun to bloom withered and died.  Walls I had only just torn down went right back up, and I let them enclose my breaking heart, thankful for the numbness that followed.

Seriously, it really sucks to be me.

I walked around the room like a robot, gathering up clean clothes so that I could shower and change out of the shorts and tank top I had woken up in.  By the time I had everything I needed, I was freezing despite the fact that the heating system was still pushing out supposedly warm air.  Unfortunately, my chattering teeth weren’t doing much for my aching head.

I flipped on the lights over the vanity as I stumbled into the
bathroom, and then wished I hadn’t.  If the pounding in my head had been bad before, it was nothing compared to the pain those lights caused.  Groaning out a prayer that I wouldn’t be sick, I stumbled my way over to the sink with my eyes closed and turned on the cold water in the sink.  Cupping my hands, I splashed the icy water on my face and kept my breathing slow and even to hold off the nausea churning away in my stomach. 

Then I made the mistake of looking up.

“Holy shit,” I whispered, torn between terror and a sick kind of vain awe as I stared at my reflection.

I started at the top of my head and worked my way down.  My fiery red hair had taken on the kind of shine even the best shampoo couldn’t produce, and the curls laid against my shoulders perfectly, like I’d just spent an hour taming them—something I usually had to do every morning.  My skin was like alabaster, so perfect that I flinched at how unnatural it was.  My lips were rosy red and fuller than I remembered them being.  But my eyes, always one of my best features, were the most shocking of
all.  There was a compelling kind of shimmer there now and the faintest hint of a glow.

Bad sign number two.

I pulled my shirt over my head and felt my breath catch on a
nother gasp as I saw perfection ended at my neck.  The scars Bastian had left me to remember him by gleamed pearlescent against my too-pale skin.  They covered both shoulders and, as I saw when I turned slightly, went halfway down my back.  They also made deep grooves in my upper arms and went up one side of my neck.

My fingers trembled as I reached up to touch one of them.  I was suddenly transported back to Oakhurst Academy, back to the Black and White ball.  I was back in that room, choking on ash and bone as Bastian sank his claws in.  I felt again that agonizing pain as they ripped my tender human skin to shreds.

“Don’t be such a Barbie,” I whispered out loud when my chest started tightening up like an overstuffed sausage.  “It’s a few scars.  So you can’t wear tank tops in public anymore.  You’ll survive.”

Fortunately, the stranger in the mirror didn’t seem to have anything to
add.  She just stood there, smirking at me.  The only problem with that was…

I wasn’t smiling.

“There’s no point in running,” the thing in the mirror said when I started backing away, that awful, predatory grin of hers just getting wider. 

“Who…who are you?” I whimpered, having backed myself against the opposite wall next to the door.

“I’m you.”  When I shook my head, she laughed and nodded.  “Think of us as soul mates, two halves of the same whole.”

“I already have a soul mate, but thanks anyway,” I told her in a voice so weak I barely heard it. 

“Yes, we do, don’t we?” she murmured, her voice turning very seductive, as she idly twirled one of my curls around her finger.  “Quite a yummy little morsel he is, too.  Nathan, right?”

“
We
don’t have anything,” I told her, an irrational surge of jealousy dulling my fear just a little. 

Jealous of my own reflection.  Can we say ‘Issues’? 

“
We
share everything,” she countered, picking up a bottle of perfume and examining it on her side of the mirror.  “We share a body, a mind, a soul.  Why shouldn’t I get to share the rest?  Your friends?  Your dear old granny?  Your
lover
?  It’s only fair, after all.”

“I hate to break this to you, but life
isn’t
fair,” I told her.

That was about the point when I decided I was just plain nuts
.  I was arguing with my reflection.  That took crazy to a level I had never quite reached before.  I tried to figure out what had happened to cause my latest break with reality, but nothing came to me right off hand.

Maybe I was drugged,
I thought, mentally retracing my steps back to the night I’d died. 
Yeah, that makes perfect sense!  That’s why I can’t remember how I got here or what happened after I died!  Somebody drugged me and this is my own messed up version of Wonderland!

“I can tell you what happened after you died,” the me in the mirror said, dabbing a little of the perfume she’d been examining on her wrist.  Immediately the bathroom was filled with a light, delicate floral scent.

Okay, so they were really
good
drugs.

After strategically placing her wand, I was going to set the Bad Karma Fairy on fire.  And roast marshmallows over her blazing corpse.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I told her.  “In fact, this weird little conversation is over.”

Her laughter followed me to the door, but her parting words froze the blood in my veins.

“Run away, little Ember,” she crooned from her place on the other side of the looking glass.  “Fight me all you want, but it won’t do any good.  You and I?  We’re going to be together for a
very
long time.”