Something Wanton (Mystics & Mayhem) (6 page)

“You’re talking to it?” Nathan demanded, that silky voice turning hard in anger
.  “Damn it, Em!  You can’t talk to it!” 

“It?” I gasped, spinning around to face him as my eyes flew open.  “You can see it?” 

“Yes,” he snapped, glaring over my shoulder at my double.  “You’re turned around looking at me.  And so is she.” 

He pointed over my shoulder at the mirror behind me and my eyes followed involuntarily to find my double studying us with avid curiosity.  I shivered at the sight of the smile on her face.

Did I
really
have that many teeth?

Trying to ignore the thing in the mirror—who I had a bad feeling was taunting me behind my back—I pinned my gaze on Nathan and kept it there.  Only then did I notice the aura around him. 
He was wrapped in a cool, silvery aura of light, like the halo I had seen around Tyler that first day.  It pulsed around him with such vitality that I found myself staring in complete awe.

“Wow,” I whispered, wishing I could reach out and touch that pretty light around him.

Unfortunately, that light was making me feel like I was suddenly starving.  And the aroma coming off him…Oh.  My.  God.  I had never smelled anything so delicious.  Even Tyler hadn’t smelled that good.

Oh, hell.  Not good.
 

“Are you all right,
beautiful?” Tyler asked, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and moving a little closer to me. 

Was
I all right?  No, probably not.  But as I continued to stare at the aura of color around Nathan, continued to breathe in that intoxicating scent coming off him, I found I didn’t care so much. 

I let my eyes slide from the top of his dark, shaggy hair to carefully trace his beautifully sculpted face, lingering on his full lips as I vividly remembered taste of them.  When I finally tore my eyes from his mouth, I let my eyes drift lower, over the muscular
chest and shoulders snugly encased in his favorite black t-shirt, then lower to his narrow hips and long, muscled legs.  With each inch of him I took in, that scent became more potent

“Ember?”
Tyler tried again, waving his hand in front of my face to snap me out of my trance. 

“I’m good,” I told
him, trying to keep myself from staring at Nathan—and failing, as usual.  Seriously, he was just too hot for his own good.  And now, with that hypnotizing halo around him…. Yeah.  Can we say
totally
yummy
?  Unfortunately the word ‘yummy’ now had some rather unpleasant connotations for me.  “I’m just a little…overwhelmed, I guess.”

“
I’m an ass,” Tyler said uncomfortably, shooting a worried glance at Nathan when I kept staring.  “I should have explained about the mirrors.  Then you would have been prepared to deal with it.”

It
’s too bad you couldn’t prepare me to deal with
this
,
I thought when Nathan still wouldn’t look directly at me even though I was practically staring a hole into his forehead. 

He might have come home, but h
e didn’t seem happy to see me.  Sad?  Wary?  Yeah, those I bought.  Happy?  Not even close.

No sooner did that thought cross my mind than I experienced the same throbbing along my mark I’d experienced as he used our link to pull me back from the arms of the lost plane, only on a much gentler scale.

Followed by an experience I
really
could have done without.

What are you doing, you fool?
Nathan’s voice said in my mind, hard and angry. 
She needs you, and you’re standing there staring at the wall like you can’t even stand the thought of being in the same room with her.

My mouth popped open and refused to shut again
just as his eyes shifted to my face.  What the
hell
had that been all about?  Had I just…? 

No.  Oh,
nonononono
!   For one thing, I didn’t
want
to hear Nathan’s thoughts.  I never had.  Besides, I couldn’t have…right?  I couldn’t read
minds
. 

He tilted his head and studied me intently, his eyebrows drawing down in a frown
that was getting darker the longer he stared at me.  For some reason, I got the impression he was listening for something.  Something he wasn’t hearing.

Wait.  Was it possible that he couldn’t hear
me
anymore?  No, that couldn’t be right.  I had never been able to shield my thoughts from Nathan—and, believe me, I had tried. No, I had to be imagining things.  He was probably just looking for his soul mate, that girl he’d fallen in love with.

I wished him luck with that.  I wasn’t sure there was much of that girl left.

“If it’ll make it easier for you, you can leave,” I
told him softly.  When his eyes shot up to meet mine, I cringed.  This time, I was the one who turned away.  “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything.”

She’s still in there,
his mental voice said, washing through my mind again accompanied by a note of hope that…well, kind of hurt. 
She’s still
her
.

“That’s debatable,” I muttered.

I took a deep breath and started to
ask
him to leave—before we made each other more uncomfortable than we already were—but before I could open my mouth, the most delicious aroma I’d ever encountered assaulted my senses.  It wasn’t his usual scent or even the scent that had started my stomach growling only moments before, but something so much more intense that my mouth started to water.  It was like sunshine and honey and coffee and chocolate and everything else I’d ever loved.  It was so sweet, and I
wanted
it.  I wanted it like I’d never wanted anything else in my entire life.  More than that, I
needed
it.

When I lifted my eyes back to Nathan, I saw that the aura around him had altered ever so slightly.  There was something else moving through the silver now, like little swirls of light.  And the more that light flooded through the silver, the more
potent that scent became until I felt insane with the need to just get a taste of it—of him. 

Go ahead,
a dark little voice said in the back of my mind,
my
voice, but with a coldness to it that made me shiver. 
He’s right there, ripe for the taking.  It’s just a taste and I’m
so
hungry. 
 

“Nate, why don’t you
step out for a second?” Tyler suggested, a tinge of panic in his voice.  When I started moving toward Nathan, captivated by the light still flooding his aura and that scent that I couldn’t resist, Ty actually started
shoving
him toward the door.  “Now, Nate!  Go!”

Nathan shuddered from his head to his feet, like he was just waking up from a dream.  He stared at
Tyler, who was still trying to push his unmoving form toward the door, confusion written all over his perfect face.  When he turned back to me again, there was something in his eyes I had never,
ever,
wanted to see. 

Fear.

He was afraid of
me
.  And, to my horror, I realized I didn’t care.  Nothing mattered except that wonderful aroma he was putting off.  I had to have it.  I had to.  I was actually in pain from wanting it.  It felt like my entire body was shriveling in on itself, and the only thing that could save me was—

“Ow!” I yelled as a sharp, stinging pain flared in my right leg
just as Nathan practically sprinted from the room.  I turned to see Tyler pulling a syringe out of my thigh—which he had jabbed right through my favorite jeans.  I gave him an accusing glare as I tried to rub the sting out of my leg.  “What the hell, Tyler!?”

“
Better?” he countered, peering into my eyes like he was waiting for my eyeballs to explode or something.

I felt as
weak as a kitten as the extra shot of Nexus he’d dosed me with swept through my veins in an icy rush, cooling the desire I had to chase Nathan down.  It also eased that terrible shriveling in my veins and I realized I actually
did
feel better. 

Only then did I realize what I had just done. 
I had wanted more than Nathan’s body as I tried to get to him, that was for sure.  If Tyler hadn’t been there... 

“It’s okay, Em,” Tyler crooned, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me when my body started to shake with dry, heaving sobs.  “It’s all right, beautiful.”

But it wasn’t all right.  It didn’t even come
close
to being all right.  The love of my life was afraid of me, and I couldn’t blame him.  Twice now I had tried to feed on him.  The first time I might not have been myself.  But what about this time?  I had
known
what I was doing, but I hadn’t been able to stop.

I had to find a way to fix it.  It was the only way I would have a chance at making things right with Nathan. 

It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself.

It was time to take
my life back from the demon who’d stolen half of it.

It was time to fight back
.

And to do that, I was going to need a little help
.

As it turns out, I wasn’t the only one who thought I needed help.  Apparently Tyler and Nathan had decided it was time for drastic measures, as well.

I never saw it coming.  If I had,
I would have stopped it.  I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t have a plan of my own…well, sort of.  Even if I hadn’t, I had friends—very powerful friends, in fact—to help me.  All I had to do was ask.

Of course, that was turning out to be a lot harder than I had anticipated
.  Seriously, how do
you ask someone to help you learn not to try to have your boyfriend as a snack? 

I was in the middle of typing my hundredth variation of that very question to Kim—that would probably only get deleted like the last ninety-nine had—when I heard a soft tap at the door. 
I immediately froze when Nathan’s scent drifted to me from across the room, debating whether to answer or not. 

Nathan hadn’t come anywhere close to our room since he’d fled
from me the day before.  Just the thought of a repeat performance was enough to make me hesitate.  I wasn’t any closer to finding a way to
not
attack him, and I didn’t think I could bear to see that fear in his eyes again.  It was just too painful. 

“Em?” he called through the door after I
had sat there staring at it for a few minutes.  “Can I come in?  I have someone I want you to meet.”

“It’s open,” I told him, jumping off the bed and running a hand through my hair nervously. 

I felt a twinge of panic when the door opened, bathing me in a tidal wave of the scent I loved so much.  That panic immediately turned to something much more unpleasant when I saw the woman standing by Nathan’s side.

“Em, this is Sierra Lovell,” Nathan said, smiling warmly down at her as he made the introductions.  “Sierra, Ember Blaylock.”

Honestly?  I hated her on sight.  Why? 
The fact that she was wrapped around my boyfriend’s arm like a poison ivy vine the first time I saw her was probably the reason for that.

Oh, she looked pleasant enough, don’t get me wrong.  Actually, she was
kind of stunning.  Her waist-length hair was a combination of honeys and mahogany with just a touch of auburn in the right light.  She had the kind of slim, athletic—yet very feminine—build that most of the girls I knew would sell their souls for.  Her face was perfect, with high cheekbones and a wide, full mouth that probably drove the guys nuts.  But it was her eyes that really mesmerized you, a startling combination of blue that looked silver. 

She was dressed completely in white. 
White coat, clingy white silk top, white slacks that looked like they’d been painted on.  White, fur-trimmed boots completed the ensemble, molding to her calves like they’d been made for her.

She looked beautiful and perfect, everything that I
wasn’t
—which only made me hate her that much more.

“Hi,” I said curtly before turning
a burning look in Nathan’s direction.  “Who is she, and why is she here?”

“I’m your new babysitter,” she said calmly
before Nathan could answer, dropping a bulging duffel bag next to her feet.  “You’re not at all what I expected, I have to tell you.  Rumor has it you’re like dynamite—a lot of power in a small package.  Personally, I don’t see it.  You seem kind of docile to me.  More scared little girl than badass witch.”

My spine went so rigid that I was surprised I didn’t hear a crack to let me know it had broken in two.  Docile? 
Seriously?  People like me—you know, the opinionated loudmouths of the world—don’t really take well to being called ‘docile’.  Actually, that was one term I could honestly say had never been applied to me.

“Give me time,” I hissed through my teeth.  “I’m sure I’ll live up to the hype when you get to know me better.”

The smile she directed at me in response was one of pure patronizing amusement.  I decided then and there that I would rather be alone.  I consider myself a pretty good judge of character and I just couldn’t see us being friends anytime in the near future.

Or ever, really.

“Sierra is here to help you,” Nathan said, looking a little nervous.  This chick might not know me, but Nathan did, and he could see the angry storm brewing behind my eyes.  “She’s a darkling, like you.  She’s here to teach you control.”

Tutors for dead chicks.  Who would have thought it?

“I don’t know if I thanked you for coming, Sierra,” Nathan said, turning his attention back to his arm candy when I just looked at him like he was crazy.  “I can’t tell you how much Ember and I appreciate this.”

I could.  I’d be more than happy to tell her that I didn’t appreciate her being there
at all
.

“Oh, I could never deny
you
, Nate,” she crooned, smiling up at him.  I suddenly found myself wondering how beautiful she would be without lips—because I was seriously tempted to rip them off of her face.

“Can I?” I demanded, my voice so cold that I was surprised when it didn’t start snowing right there in the room.

“Excuse me?” Nathan said, turning his full attention to me again. 

“Can
I
deny you?” I clarified.  I almost blurted out the truth—that if he stuck me with Sierra I was probably going to commit my first murder—but, I managed to clamp my mouth shut just in time.

“Em, you need help,” he said, taking a step forward.  He stopped just as suddenly as he’d started, though, when I instinctively backed away.  Really, getting too close to him wasn’t in my best interest.  Or his.  “Sierra can teach you how to control your hunger.  She can help you be
you
again.”

I flinched like he’d slapped me.  I
was
me.  Okay, so I had some kind of demonic eating disorder, but that didn’t change who I really was.  It broke my heart that he didn’t see that.

“Nate, maybe the two of you should talk this out alone,” Sierra said softly when I looked away to hide the pain in my eyes.  “I’ll just step out into the hall…”

When neither Nathan nor I answered her, she left the room without another word.  I didn’t know whether to be ecstatic that she was gone or terrified that she had left me alone with Nathan.  In the end, I decided to be jealous instead.  At least that was a normal,
human,
reaction. 

“You two seem
friendly,” I said waspishly as I walked to the window and stared out at the watery blue sky. 

“We’ve known each other for a while,” Nathan said, sounding tired.

What did that mean?  They were friends?  Had they been
more
than friends?  I closed my eyes and shook my head at that thought.  I didn’t want to think about Nathan in the arms of that beautiful creature.  That mental picture would never go away if I did. 

“Em, Sierra can—” Nathan began, but I talked right over him.

“I’ve got this under control,” I hurried out, not wanting to hear about what Sierra Lovell could or couldn’t do.  “I’ve got a plan.  I’m going to ask Kim and Blake to help me, and Tyler’s doing a great job of keeping me on schedule with my meds.  I really don’t need your Barbie’s help, Nathan.”

“She isn’t ‘my’ anything,” Natha
n sighed, sounding exasperated.  “Em, Kim can’t help you.  Blake can’t help you.  And, obviously, since you entranced me yesterday and tried to feed, Jordan can’t help you, either.  But Sierra
can
.  Let her help you.  You owe me that much.”

I owed him?  What else could I possibly
give
him?  I had given him my heart, my body, my soul, my forgiveness.  I had given him my trust even after he’d branded me.  I had given him everything I was or would ever be.

And he had left me
.

“
I
owe
you
,” I repeated, not liking the way those words tasted on my lips.  “What do I owe you, Nathan?  I’ve given you everything.  And what did I get in return?  When I needed you the most, you weren’t
here
.  So, tell me.  What else do you want from me?”

For a long moment, he just looked at me, and the sadness in his eyes broke my heart.  I tried to look away when my mark started to thrum gently, but I couldn’t. 

“I want my soul mate back,” he finally said, his voice barely a breath in the sudden stillness of the room, even as his thoughts whispered sadly, 
I want you to go back to that night and choose
me
, us, rather than Jack.

That thought shocked me so much that I gasped out loud.  I had never chosen Jack over him.  Every time I’d had a choice to make, I’d always chosen
him
.  I would
always
choose
him.

Then choose him now,
another voice said in my mind. 
Let the Barbie help you.  It’s the only way you’re going to be able to work this out.  So stop being a stubborn twit and tell him you’ll do it. 

 
As much as I hated to admit it, that voice had a good point.  If I was ever going to be able to get close to Nathan again, I had to learn how to control the thing inside me.  And wasn’t that what I wanted?  To be close to him again, for things to be the way they were?

“Em—
” Nathan began, but I shook my head with a sigh, cutting him off.

“She can stay,” I said, dropping my eyes from his at long last. 

“And you’ll at least
try
to learn from her?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“
I guess so.”

“And you won’t be stubborn about it?”

“I’ll do my best,” I promised through tightly clenched teeth.  “Just tell her to keep her claws sheathed, and I’ll try to do the same.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask,” he said with a soft, sad-sounding,
chuckle.  “I promise, Em, you won’t be sorry.”

I nodded, but as I watched him walk out the door
, I didn’t hold out a lot of hope that he was right and I wouldn’t be sorry.

I already was.

∞§∞§∞§∞

Sierra Lovell was the Devil.

I came to that conclusion after our first lesson together.  Promise or no promise, by the end of the night I was plotting her very painful demise.

“Get d
ressed, we’re going out,” Satan—I mean Sierra—said the next evening, barging into my room like she owned the place.  Ignoring the less-than-friendly look I shot her, she headed directly for the closet and threw it open. 

“Out?” I repeated.

“Yes.  As in,
outside
,” she said, rolling her eyes.  “We’re not going clubbing or anything, of course—you’re not quite ready for that just yet—but the back yard is pretty safe.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you need to know what happens when you get cold,” she said, indicating the clothes hanging in the closet with a wave of her hand.  “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in five minutes.”

With that, she blew out of the room as quickly as she’d blown in.  I stood there for a second, seriously thinking about just letting her wait in the
kitchen until she rotted.  Then I remembered my promise to Nathan and forced my feet to move toward the closet.

Remembering Tyler’s lesson on darkling hypothermia, I stripped out of my jeans and put on a pair of thick tights and a pair of thermals before putting them back on.  I pulled on my
warmest hoodie over my long-sleeved tee and then topped it all off with the thick down jacket I usually only used for ski trips.  I wrapped a warm wool scarf around my neck, and then put on two pairs of thick socks and dug around in the closet until I found my hiking boots.

Once I had taken on the approximate size and shape of a
giant marshmallow, I grabbed my knit cap off the hook on the back of the door and pulled it over my curls, followed by a pair of earmuffs.  After adding a pair of thick gloves to protect my hands, I decided my ensemble was complete.

All that just to go in the back yard.  Pitiful, right?

I was surprised to find Nathan and Tyler waiting with Sierra when I entered the kitchen.  Nathan’s lips twitched when he saw how much padding I had on, but the glare I leveled at him kept him from actually smiling.

“At least she dressed for the occasion,” Tyler said quietly under his breath, making a noise that sounded way too close to a snort of laughter. 

“Okay,” Sierra said, giving me an amused once-over that made me want to pull her perfect hair out.  It didn’t help that while I was dressed up like the marshmallow man, she was wearing nothing more than the coat she’d arrived in and jeans.  “Well, since the abominable snowwoman has arrived, let’s get this show on the road.”

“Bite me, Barbie,” I muttered as she threw open the door and indicated I should go first.  It didn’t do much for my temper when I heard her soft laugh behind me.

The cold December air hit me like a sledgehammer, taking my breath away, as I stepped onto the patio.  I mean, I had expected it to be cold, but not
that
cold.  I felt like I’d just climbed into an industrial freezer.