Something Worth Saving (14 page)

“Ladder 10, please respond.”

We didn’t respond again, and they just tapped in with another request when Axe grabbed the radio. “Ladder 10 to command, we’re on site.” Axe looked at me and smiled. “They’re so impatient.”

We all laughed.

“What happened here?” Logan asked, trying to hide his grin when we caught on to what the call was for. He always loved the calls when people did stupid shit and ended up hurt. Kind of morbid, if you ask me, but they were always entertaining.

“He had a few shots and decided to clean the gutters.” That made sense, but how the gutter had gotten up his ass didn’t make a lot of sense to us.

Logan and I both looked up. I could see Kasey and Axe standing over by a tree to the far right, eyeing the same location where there should have been gutters.

“What gutters?” Logan couldn’t help but laugh now.

The dude holding his cell phone, who more or less probably videotaped the entire thing, glanced up there, too. “Well . . . that explains why he’s in the ambulance now.”

Logan summoned the guy by waving him forward. “We’re gonna need to see that video.” The guy looked skeptical, so I added, “You know, so we can let HMS know how it happened.”

“How what happened?”

As if it wasn’t obvious.

“How this dumb shit managed to shove a gutter up his ass.” Logan tried to keep the humor from his voice, but it wasn’t easy.

The video was more than we needed to see, that’s for sure.

Logan shook his head as we walked back to the truck, a little disgusted. “Poor bastard will never shit right again.”

“Thank God it wasn’t a fire call.” We all looked to Denny, who was sitting beside the engine on the curb as we loaded the equipment and tanks back on the trucks.

None of us could understand why Denny, dim-witted but a skilled EMT, had become a firefighter. Fire terrified the poor fucker. Maybe that was why he was on the engine as opposed to ladder, but the thought of running into a burning building was terrifying to him. When the bell rang, you could literally see the sweat pouring from him.

“You probably would have shit your pants again, huh?”

Blank stare.

“Hey, dude.” Logan waved over his shoulder at gutter boy’s friend. “Come show our probie that video. He shit his pants earlier. I think he’d appreciate that video.”

Another blank stare when Denny saw it.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and when I saw Aubrey’s face and the screen, I looked down at her message. We hadn’t talked since Sunday night about much of anything. Part of me knew this was coming.

I’m going to dinner with my mom and Lauren tonight. The kids will be with your mom.

Just like a fire, you can never predict its path. You can never predict the path a relationship will take.

How do you know when it’s too involved and there’s no chance of survival?

How do you know when to back out?

Remember when I said smoke kills just as easily as flames do?

When you’re in a room when a fire starts, all you focus on is that burning flame. The one you can see. What you don’t see is the smoke. Sure, you see it, but you never realize what it’s destroying before it’s too late.

Dispatch to command, additional units arriving now. Do you have a plan?

Command to dispatch, this is Battalion 2 assuming command, they’re announcing now what our plan will be. The hydrant on the northern side is frozen. Request a still and a box alarm. Include L4, E17, L 9, E27, Medic 10, Medic 18, Battalion 5, and Battalion 4. Send PD Squad 3 as well, we’re looking at a possible arson here.

10-4 command, calling in additional units and PD.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Aubrey

E
VERYWHERE YOU
went in Seattle they were constantly doing construction, rebuilding, tearing down, you name it. Needless to say, if you looked out our kitchen window, you saw a bright red or yellow tower crane. Always what I wanted to look at.

Sometimes I wondered what that was like for the ones who built these buildings to one day have them torn down. Did they feel sadness when they saw the building going to waste, rotting or otherwise destroyed?

To me it would be sad. Sometimes years of work go into the construction of something, only to have it torn down ten years later. It would be like building a relationship with someone and then have them walk out one day.

I didn’t want that.

I checked my phone again; my text to Jace was still unanswered. Today wasn’t his usual scheduled day; his were Wednesday and Saturday, but lately overtime was what he did.

As the blanket of clouds gave way to darker ones that night, the wind whipped around and fresh rain took over as the leaves began to dance. I loved days like this in the city. Stormy and angered, but full of color.

Seattle in the fall was one of my favorite times of the year. Always had been. The cool crisp mornings, the array of leaves, bright and bursting with orange, red, and yellow that all scattered across the skyline. It was like summers’ end’s way of providing you with a little more color.

Beside me Jayden played with my iPad, moving through screens better than I ever could, and Gracie washed her hands for the tenth time tonight. She hated to be dirty. We’d just finished dinner when Lauren came over, never bothering to knock as she walked through the door with Gavin close behind her. He didn’t bother looking up, just smiled as I kissed his cheeks, and sat quickly by Jayden, his own iPad in hand.

There was no way Lauren could have afforded an iPad, but Judie had graciously given Gavin one for his third birthday. I wasn’t a big fan of kids having all these electronic devices and not being children who played outside, but Gracie was four now and could already write her name, read site words, play a mean keyboard, and operate Netflix.

Clearly, some tasks were more important than others.

Sitting there, I heard the sirens again, only this time I didn’t look out the window. I did feel the pull at my heart, hoping that if this was a call he was on, he was safe.

My eyes caught Jayden’s. He heard the sirens and smiled. “Daddy?”

Every day our kids reminded me of Jace. I saw Jace in Jayden’s long eyelashes, so quick to make you forgive him, and Gracie’s thick black hair, always wild like her attitude. He was everywhere even when he wasn’t.

“Yep, Daddy’s going to save someone.”

I doubted Jayden understood that, but he smiled at me anyway.

Judie was on her way to watch the kids at my apartment so Lauren and I could go to the gym and then meet our mother for dinner.

Worst idea ever, I know. It wasn’t that I wanted to go, but Lauren had talked to her and arranged it. I wanted to choke my sister.

After changing into my clothes, I watched Lauren, curious as to why she was stuffing so many pairs of underwear in her purse, and then laughed. I never knew why Lauren did half the shit she did – clearly. After all, she’d invited our mother to dinner.

There was no use in guessing, so I asked, “Why are you putting underwear in your purse?”

“I sweat at the gym.” Reaching for her bag, she set it by the door.

Judie arrived then, quickly bombarded by three anxious little people waiting for their energetic grandmother.

We were out the door a few minutes later, and I decided to ask about the underwear.

“What’s with the underwear? So you sweat, like . . . your va-jay-jay sweats?” Pressing the “down” button on the elevator, I watched her cheeks flush slightly.

“Yeah.” She looked ashamed. “Yours doesn’t?”

“Hell, I don’t know. Maybe. I guess. But what’s with the underwear? Why not just change when you get home?”

“I can’t stand a sweaty crotch. Ever.”

“Oh.” And then it hit me. She was seeing Axe after our dinner. “You’re going out with him again, aren't you?”

“Listen, the dude took my clothes off like a goddamn pro. He knew exactly what he was doing around my firehouse, and damn it, I
need
that. I’m a single mother with no life.”

I shook my head as we finally got to the street and began walking toward the gym, which was two blocks away. “I worry about you.”

“Don’t. I’m great.” We walked through the doors, and she glanced over at me and held up a book. “Sweaty crotch an’ all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to read and get sweaty.”

There was literally never a dull moment around her. As we both found a comfortable pace on the stationary bikes, my thoughts drifted to Jace and how he hadn’t replied to my text message that said I was going to dinner with my mom.

He would probably be pissed, but for the life of me, I couldn’t really understand what his beef was with my mother. I mean, yeah, she’s not exactly what you call stable, but that’s her and really has nothing to do with him. I could understand if I was going with Ridley or another guy, but not my mom.

“Do you think Axe has a red room of pain?” Lauren asked, looking at the book in her hand.

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” The thought was amusing. I could actually see Axe with something like that. “I bet he has a fire pole, too. In his room.”

“I’d slide down that pole any day.”

“I bet you would.” I took a closer look at her book and laughed. She was reading
Fifty Shades of Grey
, right along with every other woman in the world. “Of course you’re reading that.”

So far I hadn’t read the book. Lauren kept telling me it was good, but I didn’t have time to start a book right now. I had my own life to deal with.

Speaking of life, I looked at the clock and realized we were supposed to be meeting our mom at Etta’s in a half hour. “We gotta get going, sweaty crotch.”

E
TTA’S WAS
a small seafood restaurant that cozied up to Pike Place Market. With red walls and booths that provided a somewhat private atmosphere, the restaurant gave me a feeling as to why my mother had chosen this restaurant . . . probably so she could ask us for money without having to be overheard.

“Do you miss Mom being around?” Lauren asked as we waited for her in a booth by the window, the waiter bringing our wine.

“Yeah, I miss her asking me how I was doing and braiding my hair, and Sunday mornings when she made us breakfast and then took us to the movies and to get our nails done.” I laughed sarcastically and took a drink. “Oh, wait, that’s someone else’s childhood.”

Lauren started laughing. “And what we really had was Sunday mornings with her puking from last night’s booze and here’s ten bucks, go play.”

There was a good part of me that wanted to go back to my childhood and remember a time when everything was easy, but it’s never been easy for me. That’s someone else’s dream . . . and my nightmare.

“Do you ever wonder if she knows why we left her?”

“No. She knows.” I leveled a serious look at her. “Lauren, this is a bad idea.”

“What?”

“Having dinner with her. You know she only wants one thing . . . money.”

“Well, neither of us have that to give, so we’re safe.”

Being around my mom was like watching an episode of
Intervention
. If anything, maybe tonight would be entertaining. Highly doubtful, but you never know.

“Hey, didn’t you go out with your friend Jenny on Sunday night after the party?”

Lauren groaned, covering her head. “In the hospital. She broke her ankle, so I dropped her off and left. Didn’t want her ruining my night, so I met up with Axe. That’s how my clothes got taken off by a pro.” She looked at me as if I should have remembered that.

“Wow. Nice friend.”

“Whatever. She’s the one who broke her ankle.” Lauren downed her second glass of wine.

“You don’t think this will turn into Mom?” She looked at me, surprised I had said that, but she knew what I was referring to. I was only pointing out the obvious here.

“Mom drank a bottle a day.” Lauren summoned the waiter by pointing to her glass and snapping her fingers. Classy, that one was. “I have a few drinks a week.”

“I know, Lauren. I just — I want you to be careful. While I think Mom does this shit to herself, some say it’s hereditary. It’s why I don’t drink that often.”

Lauren nodded and then went on to break her news to me, the reason why
she
invited Mom to dinner. “I feel like we should help her get her life back on track.”

Lauren was the girl who constantly thought she could fix the damaged, which was why she was so constantly caught up with Kyle and now Axe. The problem was that Georgia had spent forty some years being this way. She wasn’t about to change now. For Georgia, the years have passed in unyielding long stages of unremarkable events for her, all leading to this. Nowhere.

A woman so caught up in herself that she couldn’t even see her own kids didn’t want anything to do with her. At least I didn’t.

“No, we shouldn’t.” I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation again. It was the same one we had five years ago when Georgia showed up and did this very same thing. “That’s what sponsors are for. She needs AA and a therapist.”

“You’re so mean.” Lauren smiled, rolling her eyes. “She’s our mother.”