Something Worth Saving (6 page)

Now, I didn’t think Jace could actually kill anyone, but I wouldn’t put it past him to try. Especially when it came to someone who’d hurt me so badly. In many ways.

Just tell him.

Turns out I didn’t need to. I’ll get to that soon.

W
HEN I
got to Lauren’s apartment up the street from the fire department, I saw Jace was still there. It was now nearing five, so he obviously hadn’t kept his promise about being home on time, and well, me, I wasn’t in that black dress, either.

Just before I got to the door, he sent a text.

I’ll be home by 7. Got a call.

He probably didn’t need to go on that call, but it was just like him to do so.

When I got to the door, my kids were running around with Gavin, and Lauren was on the balcony, peeking at her neighbor through the convenient hole in the railing that allowed her to see his living room.

“Is this what you do all day, you little hooker?” As I stepped outside, the kids ran past, screaming and laughing. Smiling, I turned back to my Peeping Tom sister. I wouldn’t put it past her to be spying on the neighbor. Lauren was always interested in what others were doing. She wasn’t nosey, just curious.

Turning around, she looked offended. “No. I watch the kids — it’s just” —she sighed, knowing I’d caught her— “I get bored and wish for adults.”

“So you spy on your neighbors? Weirdo.”

We walked inside just as Jayden ran past me and tripped, knocking over Gavin. They both started crying. “Well, don’t make me feel weird about it or anything.” We both tended to our boys for a second.

I never wanted to make Lauren feel weird. I actually found this entertaining.

“You should feel weird. You’re stealing his mail so he’ll come to your apartment to get it. I’m sure that’s illegal.”

“Whatever.” She looked ashamed of herself for a moment and then rolled her eyes, setting Gavin back on his feet. Both boys took off running again. “I don’t care. Yesterday he came over without a shirt. I’d go to jail for that for sure.”

“Fair enough.”

Gracie came barreling toward me, bright-eyed and giggly as usual. “Mommy! I missed you.”

There’s nothing better than a greeting of pure joy from your child. “I missed you, too, sweet girl.”

“Let’s go to Nana’s now.” That was about as long as my greeting lasted.

My kids lived to go to Jace’s parents’ house. I was sure they loved his mother Judie more than they loved me.

“Get your stuff together.”

While they gathered their stuff, Lauren looked back at me, handing me a pair of Gracie’s shoes she’d left behind last week, and dangled them in the air. “Hot date tonight?”

Why was everyone asking that?

Did I have it written on my forehead?

“If you must know, yes.”

“Jealous.”

“Haven’t heard from Kyle in a while?” Kyle Jorgensen was Gavin’s dad. He could have been Ridley’s douchebag brother. No lie. They even resembled each other a lot, only Kyle was about a foot shorter, with blond hair, and had wannabe biker syndrome. And, that I know of, he’s never laid a hand on Lauren.

Lauren snorted, flopping down on the couch where Jayden was now sitting. They both looked at each other and then smiled. “He said he loved me today.”

“Who, Kyle?”

“No. Jayden. He loves me.”

Jayden looked at me and smiled. He was such a happy boy. I had to laugh. “He loves everyone.”

“I don’t care. He said it.”

“What about Kyle?”

She snorted. “No. Jerkface knocked me up, and every once in a while he comes by to get some and sometimes gives me fifty bucks for child support. As if fifty bucks every six months is going to support a five-year-old.”

“Why do you still let him get some? He’s dirty, Lauren. Dirty.” To me, he had “STD” written all over him, but for some reason she found him attractive. “He’s using you.”

“He is a god in bed.”

Rolling my eyes, I tried to imagine that little dirty biker pissant as a god in bed. Couldn’t. The image I was left with was actually revolting and made nauseated me. “Doubt that.”

“Stop. He was . . . or is.”

“So nobody but Kyle? You need to raise the bar for the sake of your . . . ” I looked around to see where the kids were. They weren’t even paying attention, “ . . .
vagina
,” I all but whispered. It’s as if it was a bad word. I actually hated the word “vagina.” To me it sounded vagey. As in dirty. I know “vagey” isn’t a word, but it should be. And mine was far from dirty as far as I was concerned. Let’s just get that clear right now. Maybe dirty
thinking
, but sparkly clean.

“Nope,” Lauren said, popping the “p” at the end. “My juice box hasn’t seen many straws these days.”

“Mommy.” Gavin pulled at Lauren’s sweatshirt. “I want a juice box.”

We both laughed, and she got up to get his juice box. Following her, I grabbed the lunch boxes off the island in the kitchen while the kids fought over whose jacket was whose.

Lauren eyed the Capri Sun in her hand. “My juice box is like a drained Capri Sun.”

“Okay, I’m leaving now.”

“Do you prefer ‘panty hamster’?” She was following me toward the door. She did this shit to me on purpose. This was the same girl who once made a list of every alternate word for the word “penis.” She apparently had one for “vagina,” too.

God, that word again.

“There are children present. Stop talking about this.”

“Oh, right, because recording yourself doing” —she looked down as three sets of curious eyes watched us— “gymnastics is better than the secret muff code?”

I burst out laughing, covering my kids’ ears. “No. It’s not.”

“What about ‘clam cracker’? ‘Tuna canoe’?”

“You’re disgusting.” We were both laughing now as I ushered the kids out the door. “What if your son starts repeating those words?”

“He’s done worse. He called the neighbor boy a ‘stack of cock rings’ last week.”

“You two are a perfect match.”

Hanging her head out her door, she waved. “Have fun. Wait . . . ”

“What?”

“What does Jace call it . . . his ‘fire hose’? Do you guys have a fire pole in your room?”

“I have no idea why I let you watch my children.”

“Oh, please. You beg me to because I have no life, spy on the neighbors, and enjoy watching cartoons.”

And that’s exactly why she did watch them.

Some of the girls stay home. Some don’t. As for me, I’ve never been the girl who wanted to. Sure, I wanted to spend time with my kids but there was something that kept me at the shop. Maybe it was my mother and her ways. I wasn’t sure.

I wanted a career. I wanted independence. For the most part, I had that.

I
N A
matter of minutes, okay, well, not minutes because it was Seattle and getting just about anywhere took you twenty minutes. Even so, I had the kids dropped off with Judie and went home to prepare myself for our date and put on what I was supposed to wear.

Sadly, the entire time I was getting ready I thought about what Jace would say about Ridley being in town. Or better yet, that my mom had told him where I was.

For the most part, Jace was laid-back, and it was hard to get a read on anything he was thinking. For that reason we had some communication breakdowns, because I was the type of girl who wanted to hash everything out right away. I wanted to know the risks and all the potential problems.

Jace just let things happen.

Here was where he wasn’t like that: when it came to someone threatening his family. I was his family. You see, Jace Ryan was the type of guy who had his own brand of rugged arrogance. No one fucked with him. No one. And if you messed with his family, I felt sorry for you. Even though he was laid-back, people sensed that rugged arrogance in ways I couldn’t explain.

It was, in many ways, ruggedness that left you in awe. Craggy but reticent. Spend even five minutes around him, and you saw that. At times that laid-back side slipped, and out came this lively, full-of-life boy who gave you a sense of belonging and security. The two balanced him out perfectly.

He was very different from Ridley in the sense that his world was a private one that people were rarely allowed into. It wasn’t because he wasn’t trusting of them – it was because he was shy when you least expected it. If that makes sense. Once he did allow people in, he was warm and welcoming.

Ridley was cold and harsh. Never the opposite.

I took a quick shower, shaved my legs, and trimmed up the bikini area to make sure it all looked good down there.

Did I take a close look?

No. I never liked checking out my own beaver, or “juice box,” as Lauren called it, but I trusted I had her nice and sparkly and ready for an appearance tonight. Should there be one.

Once I finished with the shower, I went to applying lotion. You would have thought my skin was the texture of sand from the way I applied that Victoria’s Secret Sugar Lilac lotion.

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, I checked my phone to see that Jace would be home in an hour.

Now for the mood. Candles?

Nice. Good idea. After getting into that black dress and red bra, I quickly ran around lighting a few.

When you have kids, the mood goes to shit, and you’re left with making the most of the time given. Tonight we had time. Which meant I had time to create ambiance for him.

I knew Jace could give a flying fuck about candles, so for his mood I went with baked goods. I was just pulling the brownies out of the oven when he walked through the door.

“Damn, you know how to get me naked, don’t you?” Jace announced, closing the door to the apartment behind him with his foot. After tossing his coat on the couch, he came into the kitchen, all smiles.

Throwing a towel over my shoulder, I swiped my forearm across my forehead. “Oh, babe, it’s easy with you.”

He laughed. “We’re so fucking cheesy it’s revolting.”

I laughed, too, handing him a brownie.

As he chewed, he eyed the candle on the stove. “You start fires. I put them out.”

It was funny, when you thought about it. He had a good point.

My mind was elsewhere, though. I didn’t care about candles or brownies. I cared about him between my legs and getting some of this frustration out.

So many positions and ways of us making it tonight. “What it should be?” danced in my head, but I couldn’t focus on any one in particular to make it happen.

Jace was not ignorant. He knew everything that was going on around him at all times. And he sensed things you wouldn’t expect him to sense.

Moving from his place against the counter, he backed me against the fridge.

“Hello there.” He smelled of charred smoke, but he also smelled like my Jace. Rough and salty, but with a hint of mint. Just like his personality.

Slowly, he started kissing my jaw and then my throat. His hands slipped below my waist as one, then two fingers danced along the inside of my thigh just below the hem of that black dress he requested. “I’m not going anywhere but right here. But let’s go out.” He pulled back and winked. “On a date.”

I might have had plans to stay in and ravage my firefighter, but damn, we hadn’t been on a date in years. Probably since Jayden was born.

Sounded great to me.

“We could see a movie.” I suggested, picking up my phone and scrolling to the Fandango app.

“What movie do you want to see?”

“
Breaking Dawn
?”

He scowled at me as he leaned against the counter, his arms tucked over one another against his chest. “No fucking way.”

“Fine,” I sighed. “
Silver Linings Playbook
?”

“Whatever.” He still didn’t seem happy about that one. Jace only liked action movies or ones with fast cars.

A date.
I was going on a date.

Remember when I said Jace sensed things and wasn’t ignorant?

And remember when I said I didn’t need to tell him Ridley was in town?

As I booked our movie tickets and Jace changed, I suddenly felt like I could not only see his annoyance with me, but feel it. Sitting on the edge of our bed, he put his shoes on.

Standing, he stopped and tilted his head, his brow raised in question when he reached for my hand and blocked me at the door to our bedroom. “Why is Ridley here?”

See?

Never unaware.

Ever heard of an accelerant?

It’s used to increase the intensity of a fire. It’s my theory on jealousy and love. Love is the fire. Jealousy is the accelerant.

Dispatch to command, what’s your location?

Corner of Western and Union. Companies responding now, staging area set up.

Aubrey

“W
HY IS
Ridley here?” he repeated. His eyes didn’t leave mine, his reaction, his reason, unreadable.

My heart sped up. Should I lie?

Don’t lie to him.

I breathed slow and deep, and the silence grew heavier, the smoke nearly suffocating me. All I could hear was my heart and his harsh breathing, and I hated the mixture. My heart was beating so fast I wondered if he could hear it. Maybe he could.