Read Somewhere Between Black and White Online
Authors: Shelly Hickman,Rosa Sophia
Sophie wouldn’t respond for several
moments, but finally rolled over to face her. “I wasn’t messing with you.”
“Tell me about it.”
Sophie hesitated; although she longed to
share this with Evie, it was so difficult to explain. How do you describe
something that you’ve never experienced before and can’t make sense of?
“From the first moment I saw Sam, I felt
like I already knew him, and I suppose that happens to lots of people. But then
I started getting these . . . visions, of him and me in another time. And
they’re so fast and fleeting, sometimes they’re hard to remember.”
“And they’re not dreams?”
“No. I’m awake when they happen. And one
of them. . . .” Her face flushed at the recollection. “. . . was very hot.”
“You said Christian drew a
picture
of this place?”
Sophie nodded, then realized she would
have to explain how she came to see the picture. This couldn’t be good.
“So how . . . ?”
Oh, why did she have to mention the
stupid drawing?
Think before you open your mouth, Sophie!
There was no
way she could get out of this. Even if she tried to gloss over the topic, Evie
wasn’t going to let it go. Sophie let out an uncomfortable groan. “I met with
Christian at the gallery a while back.”
Evie’s eyebrows squished together.
“He wanted to explain why we had seen
him that day in the gallery, and show me there was nothing going on between him
and Tara.”
“Show
you
? So, did you believe
him?” Expectancy flooded her face.
Sophie thought for a moment. “I did. I
honestly did.” She debated whether or not to share her feelings about the
portrait, but didn’t know if it would help or hurt.
“The drawing he did of you, Evie. It was
breathtaking.”
Evie rubbed a hand over her heart and then
turned away, her face rigid as a mannequin’s. “No. This conversation was
supposed to be about you. Not me.”
“It’s okay,” Sophie argued. “Your situation
easily takes precedence. Ask me anything you want about that day.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
Sophie shook her head, trying to come up
with the reason. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I didn’t.”
Evie’s features shifted as she tried to
calculate what to do with this new information, whether or not to pursue the
conversation further. Sophie waited, hoping that she wouldn’t. Doing so would
only muddy the waters for Evie.
“So, which picture was it?” Evie asked.
Apparently she had chosen to shelve the prior topic.
“Are you sure?”
“Which one?”
Sophie described the picture and shared
the explanation Christian gave her as to why he drew it.
Evie cocked her head. “You talked to
Christian about it?”
“I know,” Sophie answered sheepishly,
realizing what a shock it must have been. “I sort of had to. I had such an
embarrassing response to it. I tried talking my way around it, but he wasn’t
having it.”
For some reason, amusement flashed in Evie’s
eyes at that bit of information. “Have you told Sam?”
“We’ve talked about it, but not a lot.
The really weird thing is, it’s almost like he takes it for granted, like it’s
no big deal. Like,
Oh yeah, so we knew each other in another life, but
what’s that got to do with now?
”
“Really? Hmmm . . . You don’t think he’s
just humoring you?”
Sophie rolled onto her stomach and
rested her chin on her fist. “He described the same exact place I’d been
seeing, before I even told him. Maybe,” she began thoughtfully, “he hypnotized
me into seeing these things, and eventually I’m going to have to marry him to
get back some compromising photos.”
Evie chuckled. “I don’t know what to
tell ya, Soph. Maybe you should go to one of those hypnotists that do past life
regression.”
Sophie winced. “I am so
not
doing
that!”
“Who
knows?” Evie shrugged. “Maybe you’ll find out you were Cleopatra.”
***
At three in the morning, Evie stared at
the ceiling, cheated of sleep yet again. Sophie was muttering in her sleep
beside her, so Evie slipped out of bed and went out to the living room to watch
some television. If only she could turn her brain off. She kept waiting for the
emotional exhaustion to kick in so she could get some rest, but it wouldn’t
come.
It’s a Wonderful Life
was on, but she turned the volume down and stared at the screen, oblivious to
the familiar Christmas classic. What was she going to do? She desperately
wanted Christian there with her, the way they used to be. She wondered what he
was doing, what he was thinking. Was he tortured with guilt, or was he with
someone else? Another young admirer, or maybe even the same one he had slept
with before.
She just couldn’t digest it. The one and
only person on this planet who had her heart, the one who was supposed to
protect and cherish it, had instead bludgeoned it into some mangled, misshapen
substance. Only three days ago, her world had been completely different. It
wasn’t an easy world, by any means, but it was one in which she could trust him
despite their challenges. Now what did they have left? As much as she wanted to
forgive him and start over, she would never see him the same way again.
She closed her eyes, picturing him touch
this other woman, gaze at her in the same way he had Evelyn. It was more than
she could stomach. She prayed that instead it was a sloppy night of drunken
stupor. Yes, that’s how she would envision it. At some point during the
evening, he suffered performance anxiety at the thought of failing with such a
young, beautiful thing. Maybe she even had to stifle a giggle.
But no, that wasn’t likely.
Evie was sure the girl was big-breasted
and curvy, unlike herself, with some sort of exotic tattoo on her lower back,
maybe even her shoulder. Or both. An art student. Evie could almost hear the
flirtatious adoration she must have lavished upon Christian. With that formidable
combination, how could he resist? When at home, he had a sickly, vanilla,
flat-chested wife.
One thing was certain—he was not the
person she thought he was. He had always been quiet, withdrawn, and awkward
around those he didn’t know. In his unassuming way, he had swept her off her
feet and into his bed when they were only seventeen, though she had been the initiator.
In contrast to the swaggering jocks who had pursued her, pawed at her so ferociously,
she found Christian’s modesty and respect for her irresistible.
She couldn’t imagine him being smooth
enough to land himself a one night stand. He had the looks, but he lacked the
confidence.
She had believed he held her devotion
with such care. Or in reality, had that person dissipated long ago, with the onset
of his emotional tribulations?
Seventeen
Christian slumped in a chair in his
hotel room, looking out onto the lights of the city alone. He needed to drink
himself into oblivion, but couldn’t find the will. What good would it do
anyway? Nothing would eradicate the claws of remorse burrowing into his chest,
crushing him like a vise. He’d had no inkling pain like this could exist. If he
could have evaporated into the ether around him, he easily would have, if it
meant escaping this regret.
Evelyn said she didn’t know him anymore.
He didn’t know himself. After all, from the first moment he laid eyes on her,
he worshiped the very ground she walked on, and never stopped wondering how he
could have possibly earned her affections. She could have had anyone—
anyone
—and
yet she married him, a man incapable of taking care of her, someone absolutely
useless. How could this not have been over before it even began? He had always
believed their days were numbered; eventually she would realize her blunder and
move on. In the meantime, he tried to appreciate the moments he had with her.
She’d been slipping away. Between his failure
to cope with her illness, his ineptitude as a bread winner, and her sister’s
constant reminders of what a loser she’d married, how could she possibly remain?
Despite his desire for Evie, even his sex drive had taken leave, making his
transgression all the more hurtful.
When admitting his betrayal, he was
prepared for anger, maybe even
relief
on Evie’s part. He was not in any
way prepared for the devastation in her eyes. The sorrow. He didn’t see it
coming. And now it was an image he could not erase from his memory.
He replayed the sequence of events leading
to his most unfathomable mistake. Admittedly, he had consumed far more alcohol
than he was accustomed to, but he could not blame
that
for his behavior.
She appeared from out of nowhere with a
glass of champagne in her hand. Attractive in an unconventional way, though she
didn’t come close to Evelyn’s beauty. Her straight black hair was bobbed short,
her body somewhat pear-shaped, wearing a sweater with a mini skirt, tights, and
boots.
“I know I’m not the first to tell you
this, but your work is masterful.” She gazed at one of the drawings.
“Thank you.”
“I mean, I feel like I could just step
right into it.” She turned her green eyes on him. “I’m Beth, by the way.”
“Christian,” he replied with an
inebriated grin.
“I know. Your name is on the sign in the
entryway.”
“Of course.” Heat rushed to his face.
“Beth, are you sure you’re old enough to be drinking?”
She placed her hand to her chest, as if
she were some aging cougar. “You flatter me.” As she drifted past his work, her
fingers lingered on one of the ornate frames, the one holding Evelyn’s
portrait. “And who is this?”
“That would be the missus.”
Beth moved in to peer at the picture
more attentively. “She’s scrumptious,” she offered suggestively, leering back
at him.
Christian cleared his throat. “I agree.”
“So. . . .” She inched closer, touching
the collar of his shirt. “Is there more of your work to see, like in a
storeroom or something?” She eyed a couple of young women across the room, who
were watching them and giggling.
Now he understood what was going on.
This was some kind of game, where her friends had challenged her to seduce the
man of the hour.
Okay. He would play along. He
was
enjoying the attention. Who knew if he would ever have another opportunity to
bask in the admiration of a younger woman? His ego, what little of it was left,
nudged him onto a dangerous course. With no intention of doing anything
immoral, he would slip her into the back room so she could save face with her
friends. He would let her down easy once they were alone.
“Sure, I have a few things I can show
you.”
What a colossal idiot
. Even if it hadn’t gone anywhere, didn’t it
occur to him how bad it would have looked had anyone seen him?
And that is exactly what happened. Tara
witnessed them walking toward the back of the gallery and caught Christian’s
eye. She silently questioned what the hell he was doing, and he gave her a
dismissive shake of the head, indicating that any alarm was unnecessary.
“Listen,” Christian began once they were
inside the cluttered storeroom. “I love my wife.”
“Of course you do.” Beth tilted her head
with a playful pout. “It’s obvious to anyone who takes one look at your portrayal
of her. I understand.” She sauntered over to him, hesitated a few moments, then
planted her mouth on his neck.
Christian pushed her away with an uncomfortable
laugh. “No, I don’t think you
do
understand. I know what’s going on here
with you and your friends, but this is not going to happen. Believe me, I
appreciate the compliment.”
She moved in close again, her mouth against
his ear. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “Scrumptious will never know.” He could
hear the smile on her lips.
“
I
would know.”
But his words would not deter her, and in
no time her hands were in places they should never have been. Clearly he had
gotten in over his head, but his anatomy was already making decisions that
should have belonged to his mind. He was astonished his body responded so
fiercely, despite the fact that he had no attraction toward this stranger.
However, she had no knowledge of his
numerous flaws, his weaknesses. Now he was someone else entirely, and he was
lost in the allure of the notion.
So this was it. Somewhere in the
recesses of his mind lurked the motive behind such stupidity, the motive that
he would never acknowledge in that moment. He would give Evie her out, the one she
certainly longed for. If she couldn’t seem to unburden herself of the morose,
lethargic being he had become, he would make it easy for her. Her constant
subjection to his inadequacies would end, and he would no longer have to brace
himself for the inevitable loss, forever wondering when it would strike.
He couldn’t deny his flesh relished in
the touch of this woman, her youth and impetuosity. But the choice also meant
swallowing the selfish and cowardly path he had taken, and there was no turning
back.