Songbird (Songbird, #1) (17 page)

“Thank you. You look pretty amazing too,” I replied, so calmly I surprised myself. “Shall we go?”

He didn’t move a muscle and I could see the rise and fall of his chest as his eyes found their way back up to mine, the look in them disarming, before he hoarsely replied, “In a minute.” And he swept me up into his arms.

I could feel he was holding back as every muscle in his body was tense, but he controlled the kiss. Light soft lips brushed mine as he breathed into my mouth. My heart pound against my ribs, a warmth spreading from my gut and continuing down. In an instant my breathing matched his, shallow and racing. He pulled back a little and looked into my eyes once more before reuniting our lips, this time eagerly, intensely. His tongue found mine as it tenderly explored my mouth, his hands tangled in my hair. I slid my hands up his back and gripped his shoulders, trying to pull him even closer.

“God, Tara, what are you doing to me?” He rested his forehead on mine, trying to steady himself.

Closing my eyes, I tried to calm my own racing heart.

“You’re driving me crazy, girl.”

We walked to the restaurant hand in hand, the passion from our kiss still tingling through my body. The doorway to the restaurant was tiny, no more than a single shopfront, but as soon as we opened it we were transported to an authentically styled Moroccan marquee. There were luxurious swags of fabric draping the walls and dozens of brightly coloured oversized cushions beside low tables. The restaurant was dimly lit, giving it a feeling of decadence. The aroma of spices filled the air, and the rhythmic beat of drums sent our senses into overdrive.

We were shown to our table and cushions and with silly grins on our faces, made ourselves comfortable on the floor.

“This place is amazing,” Riley said, gazing around, trying to take it all in.

“I know. I’ve read good reviews; I hope the food is as good as everyone says.”

The waitress, who was dressed in a belly dancing costume, explained the menu and we decided that because we didn’t know what most of it was, to order a banquet.

“So I want to ask you something, because I really need to know about your ex.” He paused. “Is it really over, or would you go back if he asked?”

Okay, so this was serious conversation time.

I shook my head. “There’s no way I would go back there. I’m not a glutton for punishment.” I gave him a shy smile, hoping to end the topic there and move onto something lighter.

His jaw clenched slightly and his voice took on a serious tone. “Did he hurt you?” he asked, concerned.

I wasn’t going to be able to avoid this, was I?
And from the previous night at
Songbirds
, I knew that any sort of violence towards me was a trigger for him, so I wanted to reassure him.

“He never hit me, but there were a few times I was scared that he would. He pulled me a couple of times and hurt my arm, and one time he pushed me and I fell over.”

He frowned and shook his head. “Why did you stay?”

I gave him a resigned shrug and dropped my eyes. “It’s …” I sighed. “It’s difficult to explain.”

He sat back into the cushions, his face softening. “Tell me what happened.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Where to begin?

When I had finally finished talking, I raised my eyes from the table to try to read his expression.

His brow was furrowed, his jaw tight. He shook his head slightly. “What an absolute fucking asshole.”

Was that it? After I’d spilled my guts for the last half an hour, that one statement was the extent of his reply. I frowned and diverted my eyes again. Then I felt his hands take mine lightly as he leaned forward again to rest his forearms on the table.

Risking another glance up, I noticed his expression had softened. “You know none of what he said or did was a reflection on you, don’t you?”

I shook my head. No, I didn’t know that. He shook his head again and gripped my hands a little tighter, stroking the backs of them with his thumbs.

“It was his way of keeping you to himself. You’re a carefree spirit; I can see that in you. You’re like a beautiful butterfly, and he wanted to keep you in a box so you couldn’t fly away. He probably did care about you; he just had a fucked up way of showing it.”

I’d never thought about it from that perspective. I had come to believe that I was insignificant, and he was trying to do me a favour by changing who I was to make me a better version of myself. It had never occurred to me that I was too much for him, and he was trying to tame me to hang on to me.

“You’re right about one thing at least,” I sighed. “It was fucked up.”

The waitress interrupted our D&M, which I was grateful for, as she laid out the various dishes on the table. We looked at each plate in turn, and then, shrugging at each other, our silly grins returned once more, we dug in.

“You have to try this,” Riley exclaimed. “The sauce is amazing!”

He tore off a piece of flat bread and wiped up some of the thick red sauce before holding it out to me. I took his hand, and without thinking started to eat the bread that he was still holding, my lips grazing the tips of his fingers. I looked up through my lashes. His eyes were watching me intensely. Then I leaned back and slowly licked a remnant of sauce from the corner of my mouth. A soft groan escaped his throat and his eyes flashed with desire.

“You were right, it is amazing. I’d like some more, please,” I said playfully.

We finished our delicious meal by feeding each other every last morsel, savouring the rich, diverse flavours, then reclined back on the big over stuffed cushions. I felt a little self-conscious until I looked around and saw that everyone else was doing the same thing, so I managed to relax a little more, and mimic Riley’s position of lying propped up on my elbow, so we were facing each other.

He stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers, my jaw then down my neck. His piercing blue eyes drifted down to my cleavage, but only his eyes, not his hand. I followed his gaze down and then back up as it met mine.

“Don’t worry,” he said huskily. “I won’t touch without permission, no matter how much I want to, and I won’t ask either. You can let me know when you’re ready.” Then his eyes slowly followed the path back down again. “But I can’t help looking at you. You are
so
beautiful.”

My hand, however, was not so well behaved. It traced the definition of muscle in his arm as the fabric of his shirt was stretched to its limit. It caressed his chest, following the line of buttons down his shirt to his belt buckle.

“Do I need permission?” I asked mischievously.

“No,” he said, with a glint in his eye. “You can touch me anywhere you like.”

My heart skipped a beat. It was a good thing we were in public at that moment; otherwise my firm decision to not have sex would have flown out the window.

Riley walked me up to my door. Even though it was a secured building, he still wanted to make sure I made it inside my apartment safely, or so he said. We reached the door and stopped. I wasn’t going to invite him in—the temptation would be too great, and I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on myself.

“Thank you for a great night, Tara. I had an amazing time.”

He brushed a stray hair behind my ear then cupped my face in his hands and kissed me ever-so-lightly, just brushing my lips. I opened my lips in response and he ran the tip of his tongue in between them before lightly biting my bottom lip. My heart raced; I wanted more. I wanted another full, no-holds-barred kiss.

I looked up at him pleadingly, and our eyes met. Then he lost his resolve.

He pressed his lips greedily to mine, our tongues dancing together as he pulled me in so the full length of our bodies were touching. I could feel his need, the hard reality of his desire pressing against me and it made me want him all the more.

He pulled away, breathless. “You’ll have to ask me to leave, because I don’t want to go.”

I didn’t want him to leave either, but it didn’t feel right to invite him in, no matter how much my body was arguing with my head.

Sighing, I whispered, “It’s too soon, Riley.”

He nodded before resting his forehead against mine.

We were interrupted by footsteps approaching as Jason made his way up the stairs, and the mood was broken. Jason, realising he had dreadful timing, tried to disappear quickly, but it was too late. I introduced the two handsome men and Jason slunk into his apartment, apologising as he closed the door behind him.

“I guess I’ll go climb onto that old sofa bed and try to imagine you’re there with me,” Riley said with his trademark crooked grin.

I thanked him for a great night and once I heard the security door close, turned and floated into my apartment, my feet never touching the ground.

Before I turned in for the night I checked my phone. There was a message from Kelli.

R can’t stop smiling. He thinks you’re
—
perfect, beautiful, funny *sigh*. Did you keep those panties on? Lol

I laughed.

I feel the same way
—
he’s ‘perfect’. btw
—
panties still intact.

R
ILEY AND
I met bright and early at the gym. He had caught up with Mal, who was happy to let us use the facilities for some one-on-one self-defence training, especially after he found out the reason behind it. In fact, he thought it was such a great idea that he put it on his list of classes to hold at the gym on a regular basis.