Melanie checked her phone as she walked into the church where they held Addicts Anonymous every week. She hadn’t seen Andy since he left for the run. He had looked and acted tired, the kind of tired you felt down in your bones. She’d been worried, but he’d reassured her with a sweet kiss and a promise to make it back in time for the AA meeting.
Yet, here she was, and there was no Andy in sight. She had stayed at her own apartment while he was away, but she had checked that morning at his place to see if he was back. There were signs he had been there, like his jacket and jeans laying on the ground. The shower looked like it had been used. But there was no Andy. Melanie had even checked the bed to see if it had been slept in, but it hadn’t. To her, that suggested he’d only gotten back that morning. Wouldn’t he want to get some rest?
Melanie made her way towards the front of the room, finding a seat in the third row. She didn’t recognize the person who was next to her, but it didn’t matter. She was supposed to get up and speak anyway. She saw Martin smiling at her from across the room where he was talking to the girl that always wore flannel. Melanie laughed at herself, wondering what label people were giving her.
It was about two minutes until the meeting was supposed to start, and she found herself getting worried. She decided to shoot Andy a quick text before putting her phone on silent.
Hey Andy, I’m at AA and about to speak. Just wanted to say I hope you get some rest, and I can’t wait to see you.
She sent it, satisfied with the tone. She hadn’t wanted to sound pushy or nosy, just like a normal concerned girlfriend. Hopefully, she’d hear from him soon.
Martin got on stage as she silenced her phone and tucked it neatly into her pocket. She’d learned her lesson about what to wear to the meetings and stuck to jeans. Martin started his speech, and she started calming herself, preparing herself to speak. She had hit a milestone and had to share it with the group. It was only the second time she’d spoken in a meeting before which made it even more nerve-wracking. Their numbers had grown significantly in the past few months.
Then, she heard her name being called, so she stood up with a warm smile on her face and headed up to the podium. She looked out at all the strangers and wished she had Andy’s familiar face for support. “Martin asked me to speak at his meeting because I’ve had an important milestone in my recovery. I know that everyone here is at different places, some of you not even being done with step one, and some who are already at step twelve.”
Melanie paused for effect and tried to make eye contact with a few people. She had studied public speaking on the Internet to prepare for this. “I just wanted to let all of you know that you should be proud of yourselves for doing anything to combat whatever it is that’s holding your life back. I have been a member here for a few months now and have made more progress than I ever could have imagined. After losing my job to alcohol, I now have a new job where I have already received a promotion and a loving boyfriend that I practically live with. It’s amazing what I have accomplished and how good I can feel without that bottle in my hand. It’s not easy getting there when you see it everywhere you go, but it is definitely a struggle worth facing.”
She smiled, glad she had kept it short and sweet, and made her way back to her seat. She hoped it was enough for what Martin was asking for.
Melanie sat through the rest of the meeting for the introduction of three new faces as well as the one year milestone for the flannel girl. It was a pretty good meeting, and it made her sad thinking Andy had missed it. Wasn’t he coming up on one year? She’d have to ask Martin about it. Maybe he wasn’t eligible since he wasn’t at every single meeting.
Martin caught her as she walked out to the car after the meeting. “I hope Andy is doing well. Tell him we missed him tonight.” She still couldn’t get over how genuine this short red-haired man was. Where would all these lost people be without him?
“Thank you, Martin, I’ll tell him. I think he’s just tired. He just got back from a business trip this morning, and it was a tough one. I am sure he’ll be here next time.” She gave Martin a friendly hug and got in her car. In the back of her mind she found herself wondering if Andy would be coming to the next meeting. Something about the whole situation gave her a strange feeling in her stomach.
Melanie turned the volume back up on her phone and glared at the screen that showed she had no messages from anyone, including Andy. It was going to be a long night unless she heard from him, but she didn’t have the courage to barge into his apartment again. After all, he hadn’t officially asked her to live with him yet.
She headed back to her lonely apartment instead, telling herself he was fine and she’d hear from him sooner or later.
***
Melanie’s phone rang on her way to her car. She had gone to work and still had not heard from Andy, which was making her more angry than worried by that point, especially since they had plans for the next morning to go have breakfast at the long term care facility her mother lived at. He was supposed to be officially introducing himself as her boyfriend.
To her surprise, it was Andy calling. So, she hopped in the driver’s seat and hit the talk button. “Hello?” She tried to sound as curt as possible.
“Hey, babe, how’s it going?” He sounded nonchalant, like he hadn’t just dropped off the map for several days.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
“What’s wrong, babe?” As if he didn’t know. Melanie felt like she was going to explode with anger at that point. Did he really not realize how crazy-worried she had been when he missed AA and she still didn’t hear a peep out of him?
“Andy, you missed AA and didn’t tell anyone you weren’t coming. It was the one where I had to give the speech.” There was more to it than that, but she didn’t want to let on that she was some clingy obsessed girl in case he wasn’t quite where she was in the relationship.
“Oh, babe, I’m sorry. It totally slipped my mind. I’ll make it up to you somehow. This run was just really stressful, and the Colombians want us to take over the rest from now on. I was so tired that I pretty much just ate and crashed this whole time. You can come on over if you want.”
Melanie thought about mentioning the fact that she had checked to see if he was there and sleeping and that he hadn’t been, but then thought better of it. That seemed to be bordering on stalking and paranoia. Besides, he might have gone out to get something quick to eat so he didn’t have to cook. She shook her head, knowing she was reading way too much into things.
“Unfortunately, I think I have some major cleaning to do. My fridge is full of stuff that’s gone bad, and the whole place could really use some dusting. I mean, I haven’t exactly been there much lately. It’s a bit neglected.”
She hated turning him down since she hadn’t seen him in almost a week, but she was telling the truth. Her apartment definitely needed some attention, especially if she was going to be spending more time there since he’d be away more often.
“I don’t know why you even bother with that place anymore, Melanie. I mean, my apartment is plenty big enough for all your stuff and what I have. I figured you’d be redecorating any day now, anyway. I guess I can come over and help you clean up though, if you want.”
Melanie froze. Had Andy just basically asked her to move in with him? It was a strange moment, a bit anticlimactic considering it was over the phone and he seemed to think he’d already implied the invitation at some point. “I’ve got an even better idea,” she breathed into the phone, hardly able to contain her sudden excitement.
“What’s that, babe?”
“How about you come over and help me move some of my things to your place. Just the small stuff that will fit in my car. We’ll have to get a truck for the rest.” She waited for his response, hoping it would be a positive one. She couldn’t believe the moment was finally happening.
“I’ll meet you there in a few,” Andy replied before ending the call. Melanie quickly shut the door to her car and started it up. She had to tense up all her muscles until they ached to keep herself from speeding and cutting around people. She couldn’t wait to get there and see Andy so that they could start a new chapter together. At that moment she felt so silly that she was ever worried about his behavior at all. She had no idea how stressful such a job really could be. For all she knew it was the trifecta of ridiculous deadlines, rude bosses, and irresponsible coworkers. She shouldn’t judge before she knew the whole story. She’d have to apologize for her presumptuous anger.
As she pulled into her parking space, she could see Andy getting off of his motorcycle. She bit her bottom lip looking at how hot he was in his tight jeans and leather jacket. She was going to have to sink her teeth into him before they did anything else.
***
Melanie looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. Andy was another no show. She had even reminded him before he left her apartment about the breakfast with her mother. She had stayed over at her apartment to get it cleaned up so that nothing would get gross while she wasn’t there. Her lease wasn’t up yet, and she didn’t want to have to pay a fine.
She had given Andy an extra fifteen minutes to show up just in case he was running late for some reason. She had really been looking forward to introducing him to her mother as her boyfriend, as the one she was moving in with. She thought Andy had gotten passed whatever was going on the night before, but apparently she had been wrong. She would have to confront him about it later. She was sick of the mixed signals. It felt like he was playing a game.
She waved the nurse over to her. “You can bring her out now. It’ll just be the two of us.” The nurse nodded and smiled, but Melanie was sure the nurse was thinking how pathetic this woman was to wait on some guy to show up to meet her mother with Alzheimer’s. Melanie was sure their age difference was at least five years if not more, and Melanie certainly wasn’t the younger one.
She put on a smile as her mother came out, still sporting a cane from the fall she’d had. It was mostly for balance to keep it from happening again. Luckily, they’d been able to take her off restriction and give her the private room and most of her privileges back. They just watched her more closely now.
The nurse helped her mother sit down and then brought them both their tray. The thought of eating one step better than hospital food was completely unappetizing, but for her mother, she would try it.
“I thought you were bringing a boy with you this time,” her mother commented with a smile before digging into her eggs.
“You remembered!” It sucked that she would have to explain to her mother that he didn’t show up, but that was overshadowed by the fact that her mother had been able to remember something like that. It was such a small thing, but it meant a lot regarding her condition. Melanie put Andy out of her mind and smiled at her mother, determined to have a good breakfast despite what was going on in her love life.
Andy felt for the wad of cash in his jeans and smiled. Since the Colombians had increased their runs he’d really been earning. He had no idea what to do with it -- or at least he hadn’t until now. He wanted to give his woman the best of everything, especially now that she was moving with him. She was about to spend her first official night at his apartment after he told her she could move in for real. She would no longer just be some guest.
He was going to make it a special night, shower her with presents, especially since he’d fucked up. He had promised to go with her to be introduced to her mother as her boyfriend and missed it because he was doing a line with Frank the night before and hadn’t gone to sleep. He passed out about the time he should have been getting ready to leave.
He waltzed into the flower shop like he owned it, knowing he could afford to buy the most extravagant bouquet there if he wanted. It felt good being able to spend his money on a beautiful woman. He hadn’t been able to do that in so long. He was going to spoil her, and she’d forget all about his mistakes over the last few weeks. Maybe she’d even fall into bed with him. He’d have to be sure to get some rose petals just in case.
“May I help you?” the woman at the counter asked. She had a thick Ukrainian accent and bright white-blonde hair.
“Yes, I would like to order some flowers for my girlfriend. I would like them delivered tonight if possible, around five-thirty or so.”
“Deliveries past five have an extra fee,” the woman replied in a monotone. He flashed a smile as well as the wad of cash from his pocket. He knew he probably shouldn’t let on he had so much cash on him, but he didn’t care. He felt on top of the world at the moment, and he wanted everyone to know it.
The woman bent down and pulled out a catalog from some invisible shelf behind the counter. He flipped through designs looking for something unique. The first several pages were peonies and roses. He wanted something better than that. Then, he saw an arrangement of white lilies and pink tulips with baby’s breath to fill up the rest of the vase. It was perfect.
He loudly punched the page with his finger, catching the woman’s attention. She nodded and rang him up, taking the money from him without flinching or even looking up at him. “It will arrive between five and five-thirty.”
He nodded and saluted her goodbye before walking out the door. It was on to the next destination; the corner market. He wanted to cook her a perfect dinner, one she’d always remember. He planned on getting enough fish for a feast.
His steps turned into a new swagger that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He could see women looking at him walking down the street and on his bike. He nodded and smiled at passers-by who winked and smiled at him. It was like he was walking on air. He was sure that he’d get Melanie to forgive him, forget about everything he’d done if he blew all this money on her and went all out. He had the best life possible, as far as he was concerned.
He pulled up to the market, ready to make some more outrageous purchases. There was a young Asian man at the front counter who looked nervous as Andy walked in. He was probably new, probably the son of the owner training to take over. Any other day, Andy would go easy on him. But he was sorry to know that he was not going to be this poor guy’s favorite customer that day.
“I’ll take a dozen of the live kumamoto oysters, a pound of Alaskan king crab, two rock lobster tails, two yellowfin tuna steaks, and three pounds of swordfish steak.” The boy behind the counter stared at Andy in disbelief as if he has just asked for him to kill somebody. “Could you be prompt, I’m kind of in a hurry.” And it had been such a good day. Andy was beginning to get irritated as the boy looked around stupidly at all the fish, wondering what was the right thing and how much to get out of each. Andy tapped his foot which seemed to make the boy even more nervous and clumsy.
Andy ran his fingers through her hair trying to keep calm, but annoyance was about to turn into full blown rage if he wasn’t careful. He’d been that way for a couple of days, very easily angered. He wasn’t ready to admit why, and he tried to put it out of his mind.
The boy went into the back, finally, and got some help. Looking at the man he brought out and then at the boy, it seemed Andy’s instincts had been right. The two of them looked almost like twins, so they had to be related. They started talking to each other in their language, Mandarin perhaps, and Andy began feeling agitated again. Why didn’t anyone train him first on measurements and what each kind of fish looked like?
Finally, the older man started pulling out Andy’s order and showing his son how to use the scale. They were turning Andy’s massive order into a teaching moment. He could feel his blood begin to boil as he sweated it out, tapping his foot on the ground and his nails on the counter. He had wanted to make it home before Melanie did, wanted to surprise her with the smell of his cooking. But at the rate those shitheads were moving, he’d be lucky to be home in time to cook before bedtime.
He brought his fist down hard on the counter, no longer able to hold his emotions in. The older man sent the boy back to the counter, pointing at the cash register while he continued to get the order ready. Finally, someone with some sense was going to get him out of there in a reasonable amount of time.
The boy started ringing him up so he could pay while the old man finished up getting all the fish together. Perfect -- they had figured out multitasking. He could see the boy’s face, looking like he was having a stroke or choking on something, when the final total came up on the register.
Andy couldn’t help but give a smug grin as he pulled his cash from his pocket again and began counting. The older gentleman was placing all of his order into a paper bag and spotted the money that was being slapped down on the counter. They acted like they’d never seen that much cash in one place before. Both of them let their eyes get so big, Andy was sure they were just going to pop right out of their head.
“Keep the change,” Andy said generously as the older man handed the heavy paper bag over the counter. He was definitely going to get his feast.
He strolled out of there giving a wave goodbye to the two men. He didn’t feel so bad for them anymore, knowing that he probably gave them their biggest order of the day. He put the bag of fish in the basket at the back of his bike and grabbed for his phone. He glanced at the time and stomped his feet a bit like a child. He was really going to have to get a move on if he was going to have the dinner ready in time.
He needed to make one last trip, to the mall to grab some kind of jewelry for Melanie. Women, whether they wore jewelry or not, always thought of it as the best gift a guy could give. It was a gift that meant a man had spent his hard-earned money on her that she could show off to everyone else. It also emblazoned them with the status of “taken.” It let other men know she was desirable but off limits and other women know that she was better than they were. It was the hierarchy of women and relationships. He’d learned it a long time ago.
As he started up his bike, he ignored the fact that he felt a strange tingle on the back of his neck, the kind that let you know someone was watching you. The problem with having been an addict in the past is knowing when you’re falling into it again, and Andy could feel it in his chattering teeth, his misfiring nerve endings, and his depressed soul that he was trying to hide with attitude. He honestly felt like he was going to die if he didn’t have more.
He couldn’t help but think about the fact that Zoey’s place was on the way to the mall. He would pass right by that part of town. He sighed deeply, thinking about whether or not he should risk it. He didn’t want to get held up any longer knowing Melanie would be home in just a couple hours. But he also knew he couldn’t be around her like this and fix things. He was too irritable. He had to try something. He would have to wean himself off of it and get a grip on reality again.
He took off with a purpose, knowing that he was headed straight for Zoey’s, the decision having been made. He’d have to beg for forgiveness later.
Somehow it didn’t surprise him that Zoey answered the door in a nightie, two men already traipsing through the house scantily clad. She had a pipe in her hand, and he knew it wasn’t just nicotine she was inhaling. “What brings you here today, Andy? Have you come to join my little party? I have to say, I don’t recall sending you an invitation.” Everything that came out of her mouth sounded sexual.
Andy was sure to keep his eyes trained on her face, his mind set on one mission only. “I came to replenish my stash, Zoey, that’s all.” It came out sounding pretty cold and harsh. Hopefully, he wasn’t pissing her off or else he’d probably be shit out of luck.
“Well, in that case, come in and have a seat. I’ll have what you want ready in a moment.” She glared daggers at him, letting him know she was not happy with his rude intrusion. At least she hadn’t said no. That’s all that really mattered at the moment.
Andy sat down on the sofa, pretending to play a game on his phone so that he didn’t have a reason to look up and accidentally get a full frontal view of one of her male companions. But it didn’t do much good as he felt hands begin to massage his shoulders. He looked side to side to see that the hands on him were female but way too dark to belong to Zoey.
He jumped up on his feet and flipped around to reprimand whoever it was. It was a dark girl with large, bright eyes and long lashes and nails. Most of her looked unnatural and fake, like she’d had surgery on every part of her.
“Sorry, I thought you were another one of Miss Zoey’s male visitors. I’m Michelle.” She held out her hand to shake, and Andy took it reluctantly. Really, Miss Zoey, what kind of party was this?
“Ah, I see you’ve met Michelle,” Zoey called out as she came back into the room, a small plastic bag in her hand. “Michelle, this is Andy. He’s a friend of mine. Michelle here has just moved from Martinique, and I’ve decided to take her in and show her American society. She earns her keep as a servant of kinds. She does laundry, bathrooms, back massages….”
She trailed off as Andy held out a chunk of cash for her. She took his hand and forced him to slip it into the pocket of her robe before she placed the bag into his jacket pocket. He could smell some kind of flowery perfume on her and pulled away quickly. “Thanks,” he muttered, making his way back out through the door. He wasn’t going to let her talk him into staying any longer. He’d have to find somewhere else to snort it, maybe the mall bathroom. He was that desperate.
He let his hand feel the plastic in his pocket before climbing back onto his bike. “This is the last time,” he said to himself before taking off.