“Father told me two weeks ago,” he replied, looking down at his plate with his fork hovering over it. “When he told me, I wanted to die, because I knew what it meant.”
The demeanor in the way he was sitting changed, like he’d been defeated. However, a minute later he regained his confidence and smiled sweetly at me. “I had to make a decision that would be best for both of us. I told Father I wouldn’t take your Spirit Light, and...” He looked down again and whispered, “You know the rest.”
On the exterior, Nathanael presented himself strong, appearing to be fine with what happened. Yet when his mind wandered to that time, the pain and fear were evident in all his features, including the way he held himself.
The whole thing made me sick and angry, because for the entire time I was feeling sorry for myself, he was being tortured—literally—because of me. My heart felt like a lead weight. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”
He squeezed my hand. “Don’t be. I’d do again if I had to.”
For us it was a tender moment, but for Dad, apparently, a waste of time. “Did your father tell you how he knew?” he asked, butting in.
Though Nathanael answered confidently, his leg twitched up and down nervously under the table. “No sir, he didn’t.”
Mom picked up on Nathanael’s frayed nerves, too, and softened the atmosphere by changing the subject. “Can you speak to Saydi from anywhere?” she asked.
It seemed Nathanael appreciated her intervention, ‘cause the leg twitching stopped. “I haven’t tried it farther than our house. I wasn’t sure who else could hear me yet.”
“Excellent call,” she smiled.
Her comment made him feel good. “I thought so.”
Mom’s ability to turn a mood of a room around was uncanny. Dad shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth, interrogation mode gone. “Now son, the next question is, can your father and brothers talk to her, too? If they can, that presents us with another serious problem.”
“I don’t think so. I’m assuming no, because the first time she met them, they shook her hand and they’ve never mentioned they felt anything other than the norm.” He shot a look around the table, then tucked his eyes down with a half-smile. “As I said, when researching...I found it’s uncommon to be able to do both, and as far as I can tell...to do both only happens among ones who are...” A snort left his lips and his cheeks turned red “...Destined to be together—soul mates.”
There was a pause that implied he was trying to gather some courage. “It is said to be a protection mechanism, that only the one they love can hear them. Mind you, there have been exceptions.” He bit his lower lip, then shoved some food in his mouth. “Other than that, we only have the power of suggestion.”
The way he sputtered the last bit out made me giggle. “If you can talk to me, can you read my mind?”
Nathanael looked at my fork with the tiny bit of egg on it. A smile danced on the corner of his lips, then shook his head. “No, I can’t read your mind. I can only feel your emotions.”
Darn, he was cute. “Dad told me you’re a master of your abilities...um...donum.” My new word usage was going to take getting used to.
Nathanael gave Dad a nod in thanks. “Yes, all three of us are.”
The idea of seeing him in action, using his donum, excited me beyond belief. “What can you do?” I blurted.
Laughing, he put more food in his mouth and took a drink of orange juice. “My strongest is fire and earth. I have the strength of seven hundred men, can breathe under water, can run fairly fast, and apparently mind-talk to you.
“Can you talk to anyone?” I asked, squeezing his bicep.
He looked down at what I was doing and burst out laughing. “As I said, no, not so far.”
“Will I have superhuman strength?”
Mom laughed. “Time will tell, honey.”
The discussions continued but went off in different directions onto other subjects. Nathanael and Dad got into an intense conversation about all kinds of stuff, including the other realms. The earlier tension was gone, and we were all completely comfortable. If you didn’t know what lay underneath, we’d be the perfect family.
More questions simmered under the surface for me and needed some answers. “Um...This is all wonderful and stuff, but what am I supposed to do? You’ve talked about my...” I quotation-marked in the air with my fingers. “...donums and getting them strong. What exactly are they?”
The way Dad shoveled the food in his mouth you’d never know it was his second breakfast. “We know you have wind and water, those seem to be your strongest. But you can also breathe under water, and we just learned about your ability to heal. As for the rest, well, hopefully they’ll reveal themselves in time for you to strengthen them.”
“I can see everything that’s in my eyesight,” I bragged happily.
“How do you mean?” Nathanael asked, taking another swallow of orange juice.
“Well, instead of Dad only being in my peripheral vision when I’m looking at you, I can see all of him, like everything is in little TV sets giving me the whole picture.”
They glanced at each other and a smile rolled across Dad’s face. “That’s new.”
“Huh?” I replied, not so eloquently.
“That’s not part of my abilities.” Dad said, in thought. “Interesting.”
“Why is it interesting?” I asked.
“It’s very unusual for a Half Light...” He nodded to Nathanael. “Or Half Night, to obtain one of their own donums, one that isn’t handed down.”
Sitting up straight in my chair, I declared, “I’m special!”
Nathanael burst out laughing again. “Yes, you are.”
With some force, I punched him in the arm.
His whole body jerked to the side. “Ouch! That hurt!”
“Big baby!”
Much to my delight, Mom ignored his pain and simply looked at him. “Why didn’t you mind-talk to Saydi when you were away? Oh I don’t know...just to let her know.”
“Sorry Mrs. Gardiner, I couldn’t. When I’m surrounded by Pyre, it’s impossible for me to get anything through, but...” His face darkened. “I found another way and it only came to me last night.”
The way he looked at me gave me the impression it was a riddle that could be solved without words. I narrowed my eyes, reaching into the back of my mind.
Last night? When could he have talked to me last night? Oh! The woods! The ritual in the woods!
I gasped and pointed. “That was you?”
He nodded.
“But you looked dead! You were looking right through me!”
Twisting in his chair, he took my hands and bowed his head. “You have no idea how afraid I was they were going to turn me. It petrified me right to my core. But it was something that had to be done and I was going to do everything I could not to let them get to me, though I knew it was an impossible feat.”
He slightly shook our hands.
“Saydi, something happened right from the second they took me. Your emotions were there and they were the only reason why I didn’t turn. You’ve become a part of me, somehow. Your emotions
are
me, and because of that, within the first day I realized their chants and ritual spells weren’t penetrating.”
Completely captivated by him, I replayed the words:
Your emotions are me
.
Tears sat on the brim of his beautiful eyes. “When a subject is going through the Iniquitous Ritual, he’s completely shut off from the rest of the world except for those that surround him. It’s the purest form of evil. Yet, there you were.”
It made him chuckle.
“It felt like, whenever they threw something at me, you were running amok on my insides, slamming the doors and blocking their entry, keeping my human side alive. It wasn’t just my human spirit they were contending with, it was also yours.”
Shaking his head as we all stared, he concluded, “That’s the only way I can explain it.”
We all listened intently when a seriousness crept into his voice. “Last night, I felt you. You were feeling better, well, better than you had the whole time I was away. Then your heart rate went off the chart and I knew it was fear—a fear that had even me shuddering on the inside. For the most part, I have no way of knowing where you are, all I know is what you’re feeling.” He tried to explain how it was for him the night before. “However, your fear was so real and forceful, it alerted me to how close you truly were last night. When I looked up and saw you hiding in the trees, it panicked me, thinking they’d catch you. It was impossible for me to talk to you directly, but I’d heard of other ways that had been used. The deer was the only thing I could think of.”
Though I already knew, having him say it out loud had me blurting, “What?”
He kissed both my hands. “For the last part of the ritual, a subject is not only in tune with those around them, but also with his surroundings, the elements, the trees, wind, moon—everything. After all, those are the majority of your donum, and those are what they’re trying to strengthen along with the demonic side.”
Feathering his finger down my cheek, he continued, “I’ve always had a strong connection with deer. Not with any other animal, just deer.”
That explanation brought back another memory for me. “The pathway, that first night, the deer!”
Slanting his head to the side, he took a quick peek at Mom and Dad and ran his fingers through his hair, looking extremely ashamed. “Yes, I did that so you, well...” He shrugged.
I smiled.
Leaving that embarrassment behind him, he pressed on. “Anyway, first I tried to call one to see if I could penetrate the shield and sure enough, a deer came out of the bushes, nonchalant-like and meandered over to you. I knew you could hear me because your emotions went to a whole new different level. It was funny how your heart jumped when I said ‘mask her footsteps’.”
I punched him hard. “That wasn’t funny!”
“Ouch! Would you stop doing that?” He yelped and rubbed his arm. “It really hurts.”
“What? You can take being ritualized, but can’t take a punch in the arm? Big baby.” I pouted.
The conversation quickly moved on to explaining, in limited detail, how to use my donum. I learned that controlling some of my gifts might come naturally without even a thought, while others could take hours and hours of practice and a whole lot of concentration.
Dad even demonstrated, or should I say, showed off with water from the tap. He had it snaking all over the kitchen, and it was so much fun I felt five years old again. I chased it around until Mom growled at him for getting everything it touched damp. Nathanael sat back and watched with pure contentment on his face.
Once we were done, Nathanael announced he had to go. There was a lot of work to catch up on, because as far as his job was concerned, he’d been out of the country working on one of their blown out wells and, of course, that didn’t stop co-workers from piling the paperwork on his desk.
Reaching over, he shook Dad’s hand, then kissed Mom’s...with Dad’s permission, of course.
~ * ~
He laced his fingers through mine as we walked to the front door, allowing the elation to bubble through the seams of the overflowing hole inside me. “This is all a little strange when you think about,” I observed.
Gathering me against his chest, he rested his lips on my head. “Then don’t think about. Just go with it.”
My arms held him tight, not wanting to let go because the last time I did, everything fell apart. “Nathanael, I’m worried. There is no way I’ll be able to do what Dad did with the water.”
His breath ruffled along the side of my mouth. “Don’t you worry. You will,” he murmured and kissed me.
“Mmm,” trickled from my throat.
We were lost in each other when a not so nice memory flooded back to me, prompting me to gently release him. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he replied.
On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up. The thought of admitting I was an eavesdropper didn’t seem appealing...but too late! “The Monday that...they...” I hesitated, not able to finish.
“I know which Monday you’re talking about. No need to elaborate if it makes you uncomfortable.”
I swallowed hard. “Well, that evening I was on my way to return the book...” It turned out to be very hard to ask him.
He tucked his chin down, eyeballing me. “Yes?”
My eyes immediately went to the floor. A sigh could be heard as he lifted my chin to examine me and waited so patiently for me to continue.
Saydi, just spit it out!
“Well, as usual, I cut through the woods.” The words started to blaze from my mouth. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I smelled the fire and it made me curious.”
Again he found himself darting his eyes back and forth, trying to catch it all.
“You guys were goofing around, fighting...”
“I recall which night,” he injected in between my breaths.
Why was I even worried about it? He had already made it perfectly clear he loved me, so why did I have to bring it up? I shrugged, wishing I could take back every sentence.