Slanting his head some, he surveyed my face and softy asked, “Hey...what is it?”
It was obvious I concocted a little web for myself and couldn’t back out of it, so forward I went. “When one of your brothers asked you about making a move on me, why did you tell him you weren’t interested?” Asking him made me feel like an idiot, but at the time it happened, it hurt so much. I pressed on. “Then you disappeared and never called or anything. I know why now, but then I assumed what you said was true.”
The corner of his mouth curled up as he chewed on his lower lip. “That explains it.” He delved into my eyes. “I’m still new at deciphering what your feelings are, and that night, when your feelings went from happy to hurt so quickly, I assumed you were reading the book. After all, the night before you took me on a roller coaster ride. I had to shut you off.” The memory was a good one for him, judging from his smile. “Within seconds of telling my father I wouldn’t take your Spirit Light, I was surrounded, which is the normal course. Though your emotions kept me going, I realized in a short period of time you were continually sad and it was getting worse.”
He grunted, kissing my forehead.
“There was nothing I could do at that point, but I also realized what kept me going wasn’t just your emotions. It was also the fact that you were sad and I had to get back to you to make you happy again.”
Great. Not only did I put him in that position, but I added torment to misery by always being sad
.
I could feel his breath slide down my cheek, then sweep across my ear. “To answer the question I’m sure is plaguing you, I didn’t mean it the way you’re thinking,” he whispered. “What I’m not interested in is telling my brothers about my love life, although you can bet I am interested in being with you that way. You have no idea! But I’m not interested in taking something that doesn’t rightfully belong to me...yet.”
We found each other’s lips and our tongues tangled with a little more force behind it. It was exactly where I wanted to be forever.
As our faces unlatched, he asked, “Do you believe me?”
“Mm-hm.” Was all I could muster.
“I have to go.” His words were barely audible. He yanked me to him again, plastering a passionate, heated kiss on me… The scent and taste saturated my senses and in response to my heightened emotions he held me tighter, then pulled back. “Stop!” he whispered harshly.
“Sorry!”
A low growl came up is throat to match his crooked smile. “Mmm, mmm.” He shook his head hard. “I have to go,” he repeated, then pivoted quickly around and practically ran down the sidewalk.
It made me giggle at his frustration.
~ * ~
Raised voices came from the kitchen and Nathanael’s name was among them. Though I just endured the embarrassment of one eavesdropping escapade, I couldn’t help myself and slipped up to the side of the door, hidden, and listened intently.
“Nathanael can’t know Saydi can destroy the Rondure!” Zack said forcefully.
“He did not turn. He’s a good boy and to help Saydi he needs to know. It’s not fair to him. He’s helping us and we’re not revealing all the information to him,” Mora insisted.
“I say no!” Zack spat.
“Calm yourselves,” Dad said. “For now, he doesn’t need to know. It’s unfortunate he can’t be trusted completely yet, and hopefully soon there will be no need to keep things from him.”
“What if Saydi tells him?” Pearle piped up.
“Then she tells him,” Dad informed.
It did upset me that they couldn’t trust Nathanael, yet something in the way they were acting told me it was best to leave it alone for that moment. Besides, I knew it wouldn’t be long before they could trust him.
With so much information in such a short period of time, there was a need to gather myself emotionally and mentally. By rights I shouldn’t have be so accepting of everything, yet something deep down told me it was the truth and I would have to embrace it all unconditionally. I pulled on my shoes and coat, then proceeded through the kitchen as if nothing happened. I waved at them and continued out to the back yard, vacuuming all but forgotten.
When the yard came into view I shook my head; my training boot camp awaited. A huge above ground swimming pool was filled on one side, a fire pit sat on the other, and scattered throughout were ropes and pulleys sprouting from one wooden structure to another. Our yard looked like an elaborate jungle gym.
“Saydi?” Mora’s beautiful voice sang.
“Hi, Mora.” I stared at my reflection in the pool, watching my breath breeze across it.
The fired ignited, making me jump.
Mora giggled. “Gotcha!”
“Humph! Yeah, you did!” I smiled. “And to think, only yesterday I probably would have run down the street screaming if I saw that.”
She laughed and stood beside me, twirling her finger around above the water as I watched it tunnel downward and looked pretty neat.
“Maybe one day I’ll be able to do that.”
“You can right now,” she suggested.
Straightening up, I looked at her. “Do you think so?”
“Yes,” she said, taking my hand and putting it over the water. “Now concentrate. See what you want the water to do.”
With the vision of the water tunneling, I turned my finger above it. First, it pooled together, then the top layer opened up and started moving with my hand. I smiled at her. “I’m doing it!”
“Yes, you certainly are.” She looked proud.
The glow from the fire lit up her green/blue eyes, and my heart stopped in my chest, my tongue tripping over itself. I was unable to spit out one word, the water forgotten.
Mora giggled. “That didn’t take you long.” She had a beautiful smile, the same one Nathanael had.
“Saydi, I’ve waited a long time for this.”
It astounded me. “Why would you accept training me when you knew it was your own sons that were going to take my Spirit Light?”
She dipped her eyes to the ground. “I didn’t know. None of us did. Only the elders knew until recently.”
I surveyed her.
She continued, “I’m very connected with my children, even if they don’t know it. I’m a Half Light, like you, and one of my donums is that I can sometimes see what decisions Nathanael has made.”
Gaping at her. “You’re not a Tov?”
She shook her head. “It was wonderful to see you heal him today. Did you know that ability of yours, as a Half Light, can only be received by your true love?”
Again, there were no words.
Smiling, she patted my hand in understanding. “That ability is very rare in a Half Light. Now, for a Tov with that ability, it works on anyone.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I was so happy when I saw he found true love.”
“But he was hurt because of it,” I reminded, feeling guilty.
“Yes, you’re right, but Nathanael is a man of honor, not like his brothers. He knew what would happen when he refused.”
“Why would he do it then? That’s what I don’t understand. I wanted to ask him today, but every time he thought about that day, he got so sad.”
The look on her face showed me she understood how I felt, but was also one of determination. “They had to know he wouldn’t take your Spirit Light. It was part of Nathanael’s plan, because he knew that by willingly accepting his punishment, he’d gained his father’s ultimate trust.”
She swept some of my hair away from my face.
“You see, in confessing to his father, he’s proven his loyalty.” She smiled. “My son is very smart. He knows what is needed to stay on his father’s good side and still gain what he wants.”
Nathanael was in every thought running through my head. “He could have figured out a way without going through that.”
“Saydi, dear.” She stroked her hand down my face. “Nathanael had no choice. His father knew how he felt about you, and knew Nathanael wouldn’t take your Spirit Light willingly. There was no way for Nathanael to deceive Andrew about that. So you see, he had to do what he did because if he didn’t...” A sob choked up her throat. “They would have taken him right at that moment, branded him a traitor and more than likely killed him.”
I gaped at Nathanael’s mom, realizing for the first time how awful it must have been to see her children live apart from her as Half Nights. She, like Dad, couldn’t hold her children, participate in their lives, or overtly love them. It had to be torture, especially for a mother.
The air seized in my lungs, forcing me to cough. It was real. Her words told me that what was happening wasn’t a video game or game at all...it was real, and we could all die. “How do you handle it, knowing all this stuff?”
“Being afraid to die isn’t living and living isn’t being afraid to die.”
Again, there was nothing coming from my mouth.
Shrugging, she continued, “Eventually, it becomes easier. It’s my life, my reality. Just think, I’ve known since you were born I’d be teaching you, but never did I think Nathanael would be part of the equation. It was a joyous occasion to know it was you who would have his heart.”
“Thank you.” She was a very nice woman. “If you’re half god, then that means Nathanael is a quarter god, too.”
Her laugh was almost infectious. “Yes, and it will be interesting to see how he reacts when he finds out.”
“That’s so cool.”
“He’s inherited the good in me.” She tapped her heart. “Always feel with your heart, for your heart is the path to your soul, your soul is the path to the truth.” Then she kissed my cheek. “You are beautiful.”
Somehow, coming from her made it true, and with a small smile I said, “Thanks.”
“I can see why my son fell for you.”
Looking down, I played with my fingers...and secretly smiled inside, hearing Nathanael say, “We really have to work on that!”
“Thank you,” I replied to Mora.
“I love my boys very much and it was on their birth it was revealed to me who their father was. For me, all I wanted was to have a normal life.” She touched my arm. “Nathanael has the strengths of me and Andrew. He’ll need to practice individually like you are doing.”
I stated the obvious. “He doesn’t need to practice. He’s grown up with it and knows exactly what he can do.”
“There is more yet to come, Saydi. He doesn’t know all his donums.”
“Mora, can I ask you something?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Why did you leave them? I mean, I understand not wanting to be with Mr. Braxton, but why didn’t you take them with you?”
With a sigh, she answered, “It was never Andrew’s intention to allow me in their lives. I was blessed to get their first month.” Hesitating, she chewed on her lower lip for a second. “Nathanael was very sickly and was the smallest of the three. He had lung problems, not to mention horrible allergies.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I rocked him, nurtured him and made him strong.”
“What about Job and Joshua?”
“Oh Saydi, them too! Very often all three were in my arms or sleeping together.” Then her features changed, went dark. “When Nathanael was strong, Andrew banished me from my boys and poisoned them against me. Andrew used me to get his heirs, ones that not only had his abilities, but mine as well, making his boys the strongest of the Half Nights.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be. Now I get a second chance to rebuild my relationship with at least one of my sons, and I’ll go to the ends of the earth to do it.”
The following day, Mom made me go to school. We all had to be as normal as possible, even if I was exhausted. The night before wasn’t so good… me trying to file away all the new information and wondering how all my donums would work. Sleep took a long time to come and the morning dawned way too fast.
I stopped at the store to see Miranda and get a pop for lunch.
“Hi,” I called when the bells above the door rang.
She bolted toward me and hugged the stuffing out of me. “Hi, how is everything?”
“Good,” I lulled.
When she spoke, she was bouncing on her toes. “So...what’s new?”
Then I realized what she was doing. She didn’t want me to know the news had hit the local gossip wave. She had me smiling. “Yes, my dad is alive and home.”
She clapped her hands quickly and grabbed me again. “How are you with it? Are you happy about it?”
With my face mashed against her shoulder, I protested, “Miranda, you’re suffocating me.”
“Oh, sorry.” She let me breathe and actually allowed me to move around. “Well?” she inquired.
“I’m probably a tad bit happier about it than you,” I said, grabbing a pop from the cooler.
She went around the counter to punch in my purchase, still bouncing a bit on her toes. “Everyone’s talking about it. You have to tell me everything later. I want to know the truth, not the novel the ol’ hens are wagging on about.”
She made me laugh. “I will.”
“I mean it!” she called after me as I left.
In my mind I wheeled about what I imagined the gossip train was saying. Dad probably had been captured by terrorists, had been married five or six times, and had at least twenty children. They probably threw in some kind of disease for good measure. I giggled to myself.