Soul of a Whore and Purvis (6 page)

As Jesus promised in the Gospel of Mark

That we shall cast out devils and lay healing

Touches on the sick, I touch you now!

Unloose the string on this man's tongue! Begone!

[
SYLVESTER
calms.
]

…Now tell me, what did Peter Piper pick?

SYLVESTER
: He picked your nose, you meddling piss, and I'd

Pay money to see him shove it up your hole…

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled

Rubber baby buggy bumpers—wow.

This Mumble-Stumb's red-dogged my vocalize

From minute one. I had full-on, obscene

Tourette's till Mama whipped it out of me.

But let's just stop this tent revival here—

Before you get me past the point of cure

And on into the tongues and rattlesnakes.

You gotcher cookies. Come, girl, let's go home.

BILL JENKS
: DEMON! NAME YOURSELF!
NOW!

MASHA
:                                                                    Dark

Delight.

Dark Delight at Manor Downs. Fifth race!

SYLVESTER
: One down! All right, now, where's my sheet—

Back off now. Give her room. Give me my sheet!

I've lost my light—Don't you turn the lights on?

CLERK
: Once in a while. But I never like what I see.

BILL JENKS
: Let me do my work.

SYLVESTER
:                                  I need that demon!

MASHA
quakes at
BJ
'
s approach.

JOHN
: You can't expel a demon in the name

Of nothing but yourself—it's blasphemy.

BILL JENKS
: Just let me take a whack at it. You'll see.

JOHN
: It's blasphemy. The Bible's clear on that.

Mark says, “In
my
name cast out devils.”

BILL JENKS
: Your good ol' brother Mark?

JOHN
:                                                        Come on!

BILL JENKS
: All right, I will. I'll call on old JC.

…Jesus Christ, they crucified you, huh?

Holy Jesus, they crucified you good.

Jesus Christ, they threw you in the pit

And fed you meals of Spam and Wonder bread…

But the crucifiers never ride the Greyhound.

Jesus Christ…

[
He falls to his knees.
]

It's Bill Jenks, fresh from prison.

Been out half a day, and my report

Says, Lord, it's still the world they killed you in.

Says, Lord, the world is desperate and mean.

Lord, come on now, turn an ear to me.

Your Catholic priests are pederastic homos.

Your preachers are sluts. They clutch your Book

In one hand green from moneybags and poke

Your Word with fingers reasty from young cunts.

The sonsabitches crucify

Occasionally a savior while revering

Prophets their fathers lynched. The motherfuckers

Live unchallenged, prosper, die unpunished.

God, I hate them. Jesus hated them, too.

Don't dispute me—Jesus Christ reviled them.

He saw who held the hammer and the nails.

He recognized who would and wouldn't hurt him,

And so he palled around with dwarfs and whores,

People everybody hated—tax collectors,

Lepers, urchins, strangers, widows, dummies…

Come on now, Jesus, turn an ear to me.

Jesus Christ, I am a criminal.

I am a tax collector, whore, and midget:

You have nothing to fear from the likes of me,

And nobody else in here is gonna hurt you,

For the crucifiers never ride the Greyhound.

Jesus Christ, I beg you for the power.

I beg you for the power and cry…DEMON!

[
He lays hands on
MASHA;
she writhes and screams.
]

DEMON, I BANISH YOU TO—

MASHA
:                                                      HEAR ME, HEALER!

…Spare me banishment to the pit of Hell,

But leave me to the world of things and men,

And I will grant you prophecies three.

SYLVESTER
:                                                    YOU WHORE!

JOHN
: Bill Jenks: Something good will come of this!

SYLVESTER
: Masha—demon—buddy—talk to me—

MASHA
: Only spare me the pit, and I will flee.

Spare me the pit, and I will prophesy…

BILL JENKS
:…OK, I'll take the deal. No pit of Hell.

MASHA
: Hand on the cross.

BILL JENKS
:                          Hand on the cross. No pit.

Prophesy away, and walk the world

As long as men and things inhabit here.

SYLVESTER
: He's got my damn predictions! I'm a pauper!

MASHA
: Hear me, William Jennings Bryan Jenks:

I prophesy that you shall meet your mirror.

I prophesy that you shall raise the dead.

I prophesy one more: That like all men

William Jennings Bryan Jenks shall die,

And on his death an innocent shall be killed.

[
BJ
lays his hands on her.
]

I FLEE!

JOHN
:                  …She's limp. That thing is gone.

SYLVESTER
: Three predictions? That's your total score?

Three predictions worth exactly zero?

Son of a bitch. She could've made you wealthy

Ten times over. What a rube you are.

[
A siren; pulsing red and blue light that continues until blackout.
]

Here comes the ambulance to the whore hospital.

BILL JENKS
: I shall meet my mirror? I keep clear

Of mirrors. I don't like their face.

I guarantee I'll never raise the dead.

And naturally I'll die. But all the rest

Is nonsense. Let me see your racing form.

Maybe she's just handicapping horses.

CLERK
[
holding radio
]: Hey there—John Cassandra—on the news:

They set your mother's date an hour ago.

Isabel Cassandra: Death by poison!

JOHN
wails.

Lights narrow:
GRANNY
,
the cross, the sign:
SURPLUS STORE.

HT
sings as he enters from Surplus Store.

HT
:
If you ever get to Houston

Boy you better walk right

You better not gamble

And you better not fight

…What's all the fuss? Where'd everybody go?

Ma'am, I heard my friend I'm waiting on

Raising his voice in here. I know his voice.

GRANNY
wakes to see
HT
standing before the cross.

GRANNY BLACK:
Whose ghost are you? Which one? Which murdered angel?

HT
: Do I look like a ghost? I'm not a ghost.

(Am I a ghost?…I don't remember dying…)

I'm waiting on a friend, a friend—I
know
his voice—

GRANNY BLACK
: Harold Thomas Watson! I see you!

I feel your fangs sinking into my soul!

I didn't tell him to! Nobody told him!

Demons sent and fetched him, slapped him, rocked him—

Everybody knew he'd kill somebody.

I'm
the one he should have killed—he loved me!

I'm
the one he should have killed—I loved him!

I swear I'm leaving town. I'm bound for Dallas.

I won't be here among your children nor

Your children's children on the Huntsville streets—

They'll never have to look at me again!

Leave this poor old woman to the black

And miserable damnation love has earned her.

Her wailing blends with ambulance's siren.

BLACKOUT

Part II

About a year later.

Split scene: Left, hospital waiting room. Right, hospital room.

Lights up stage right:

Hospital room. Early summer morning. Dark but for the light of the monitors, and a bit of dawn.

SIMON
lies in bed, a silhouette.

 

SIMON
: I have kissed your prayers kissed your prayers

Roller coaster rollin' through the rain

The oceanic shoulders of the throng

Undulating slowly breakfastward

Mobile tit!

NURSE
has entered. She opens the window.

NURSE
:                 A lovely one is coming!

Lovely! I'll just crack the jamb before

The hot of the day, so's you can breathe the morning.

…O, Lordy God, it smells so sweet and green

It almost nearly stinks.

SIMON
:                                  Soft fuck-me music

Plays the little baby radio

Bare room shaken by a passing train

NURSE
: The little baby radio. That's cute.

She turns on radio. While she fluffs his pillows, records his vitals, etc.:

JIMMY BOGGS
[
sings on radio
]:

All your promises

The things you said

NURSE
: That Jimmy Boggs is just untalented.

JIMMY BOGGS
[
sings on radio
]:

Using grand words

Like eternity and love

NURSE
: A singing voice like garbage cans turned over.
She cuts the radio.

SIMON
: Your holy pussy your precious cunt

There's never been a sweeter ride to Hell

NURSE
: How quiet and
delicious
is the air.

Like anything can happen in the world.

What an atmosphere…Ah, God. Ah, God…

They mow the lawns, it drags me back to Dallas…

I wish they had the ice-cream trucks again…
Meanwhile,

WILL
BLAINE
has entered in medical smock.

WILL
: You wish they had the ice-cream trucks again.

SIMON
: The generous wide feet of pachyderms

NURSE
: We're almost done here, Doc.

WILL
:                                           I'm not a doctor.

Just a tech.

NURSE
:                 Blood?

WILL
:                               In a sense.

NURSE
:                                            Let's see—

SIMON
: Geezing bugspray in the slimy night

NURSE
:—Do you have orders? I don't seem to have—

WILL
: Uh—no. I'm not your colleague. Actually,

Simon is my brother.

NURSE
:                                Simon's brother!

But it's a little early, don't you think?

Official hours—

WILL
:                            I drove down from work.

Been floating on that road since midnight, after

the post-injection wrap-up drinks at Mursky's

Bar and Grill but definitely mostly Bar,

Drifting through the general emptiness

From Huntsville: Seven hours in the rain

and more than slightly drunk, and I saw never

A single car. Or house. Or tree. Or star.

NURSE
: O well, that's Texas! It's a long old ways

Between and not a whole lot when you get there…

My niece got married to a Huntsville man.

WILL
: I'm over at the Unit. At the Walls.

NURSE
: The Walls?

WILL
:                    The prison?

NURSE
:                                    O. The prison? O!

They executed someone there last night!—

Some crazy feller killed his wife and all

His little children…Well, my niece's husband

Thomas Hill works at the Walls. I guess

He goes around confusing people, too,

Looking like the uniform of something else.

…Well now, since you're a tech, you're probably…

There's things to do the
fam
ily might not…

We like to avoid unsightly
sights
—

WILL
:                                                          The bag.

NURSE
: I'm gonna change the bag, and such.

WILL
:                                                             OK.

NURSE
: His little children! God Himself can't tell you

Why that feller killed them. Well, he did,

And now it's eye for eye and tooth for tooth.

They strapped him to the slab and—life for life.

WILL
: I'd say that's pretty much it, in a nutshell,

That's what we do.

NURSE
:                              You do?
You
do? Do
you
?

WILL
: With his last breath he proclaimed his innocence.

SIMON
: A whitetail deer goes walking past in the rain

A dream of volcanoes rides past on a train

A spider crouched alive betwixt her lungs

NURSE
: I'm sorry; but it stops him—

WILL
:                                               When you yank

His crotch a couple yanks, it shuts him up?

NURSE
: Manipulation of the scrotal—
well
—

I know! The whole world's highly entertained!

He's quite a favorite hereabouts. A team

From Dallas, on the first of every month,

Descends upon us, specialists from Dallas—

WILL
: How about that!—lining up to plunk

The magic twanger of my brother's scrotum!

My helpless brother's balls! Nurse…Vandermere:

I'm not here visiting the vegetable.

This thing they're gonna do—I'm here for that.

NURSE
: What—thing?

WILL
:                          Wal now I don' perzackly know.

I would assume the staff would know.

NURSE
:                                                          The staff?

WILL
: The personnel employed here. Such as you.

NURSE
: I don't know
any
thing about a
thing
.

WILL
: A medical procedure, I presume,

At which, for reasons they have not explained,

They want the whole damn family to assemble.

NURSE
: But…nothing's scheduled…

WILL
:                                                Nothing.

NURSE
:                                                            Not a thing.

WILL
: The vegetable's entire day is free.

NURSE
: What you don't seem to realize is a coma

Doesn't make them deaf. They hear us talk,

They understand, and Simon knows what's what.

WILL
: You claim the calabash is cognizant.

NURSE
: If
I
was being visited by you,

And
I
was in a coma—I would die!

WILL
: I think—Is that my sister-in-law out there?

NURSE
: I'd slip on out to sea and sail away.

WILL
: It is. Ah, God!—the other one!
Her
sister!

What's this all about?

SIMON
:                                     Who owns the rain

NURSE
: It doesn't take a death grip!

WILL
:                                                Like he cares!

He didn't even blink. He kinda sorta

Rolls his eyes around though, doesn't he.

A six-foot-long Señor Potato-Head…

And not one blister, huh? Not one hair singed.

That's what ya git fer smokin'!—might as well

Be ashes, huh?

NURSE
:                        He got like this from smoking?

WILL
: Not exactly smoking—breathing smoke,

Smoke inhalation. Very bad for you.

SIMON
: I would kiss you even if it killed me

Meanwhile,
JAN
and
STACY
have entered.

JAN
: Let him a-
lone
!

WILL
:                        It shuts him up, or so

I'm told—and as we've just been demonstrating.

SIMON
: Even if it killed me I would kiss you

JAN
: Simon, hon?…I think he's glad to see me!

STACY
: Simon? Can he hear? His
voice
is all—

SIMON
: Kuala Lumpur Kuala Lumpur Kuala Lumpur

JAN
:                   See! He knows Ko-ala Lumpur!

STACY
: All those voices, all those different—Jan,

I never heard those voices before.

Did you ever hear those voices before?

NURSE
: Visiting hours haven't really
started
—

STACY
: He's like a boombox on a merry-go-round!

WILL
: This is Simon's wife, my sister-in-law—

JAN
: Jan.

NURSE
: I'm pleased to meet you.

JAN
:                                            This is Stacy,

Simon's
sister-in-law, which is because

I'm Simon's wife, and she's my sister—Calling

Koala Lumpur! Simon!

STACY
:                                      Can he hear?

JAN
: Are you receiving, Simon?

WILL
:                                        No. He's not.

STACY
: He talked right
to
us!—He was buying gold

In Koala Lumpur when the fire struck

That shopping mall and pumped it full of smoke

And choked him till he got like this! Now, Simon,

Form your thoughts, take all the time you want,

Visiting hours haven't even started—

WILL
: He isn't “forming” any “thoughts.” All right:

You're here; he's here; everybody's here.

Now how about a little explanation?

JAN
: Well! The lights came on!

NURSE
:                                      It's eight a.m.

It's still a half an hour till
official
—

WILL
: And not “Koala.” K-
U
-A-L-A—

JAN
: He was buying
gold
, he was
investing
—

Tragedy strikes us anytime it wants,

Even in places like Koala Lumpur—

STACY
:
Kua-
la Lumpur,
Kua-
la Lumpur, Jan—

JAN
:—No matter what you try to call yourself!

You can't escape life even by pretending!

Meanwhile, the
DOCTOR
has entered.

DOC
: So, Simon draws a crowd!

NURSE
:                                        They jumped the gun

A couple minutes, Doc—

DOC
:                                            Good morning, all!

SIMON
: I have a dog who is a lilac bush

JAN
: We
have
a dog who is a lilac bush!

SIMON
: Kuala Lumpur Kuala…Kuala…Kuala…

STACY
: Lumpur—Lumpur—
Lumpur
, Simon,
Lumpur
!

JAN
: But, see, our dog is
buried
by the lilac!

We always say he's turned in
to
the lilac!

So, Doctor, when he says I have a
dog
,

He's talking about our actual
universe
,

And an
act
ual dog, also an actual
lilac
.

And even if we don't have a koala bear,

There actually
are
koala bears in China,

Or over there where Kuala Lumpur is.

DOC
:…Mind is the only actuality.

Breakfast chimes sound.

STACY
: O, Doctor…Nasum? That is so…pro-
found
.

Other books

Man V. Nature: Stories by Cook, Diane
The Federalist Papers by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, John Jay, Craig Deitschmann
Lynnia by Ellie Keys
Dan by Joanna Ruocco
Undeniable by Lexie Davis
Everyone but You by Sandra Novack
The Sleep Room by F. R. Tallis