Authors: Belinda Alexandra
New Orleans buzzed with anticipation as tourists joined the locals for the most exciting event of the year. Sam had the club decorated in the traditional colours of green, gold and purple. Pennant banners hung from the ceiling, and the tables were adorned with fleur-de-lis runners. I laughed when I saw the waiters dressed in harlequin outfits.
Miss Hanley put me through my paces. âThis has to be the best show yet,' she told me and Leroy during rehearsals. âWe have to exceed everything else we've done so far.'
The regular velvet curtain was replaced with one fashioned out of silver Mardi Gras beads, and I would be dancing to classics like âWild Cat', âHeebie Jeebies' and âNew Orleans Blues'. My costumes were magnificent. My favourite was a red ball gown with a ruffled organza skirt and beaded bodice. Underneath I wore a matching strapless bra and rhinestone G-string.
The stagehands applauded me when I stepped out under the lights for the dress rehearsal.
âIt's brilliant!' said Sam, approaching the stage. âJewel, you are more splendid than the Queen of Carnival herself!'
Indeed, the costumes, the decorations and the music all combined to give me a sense of arrival that I'd never felt as Vivienne de Villeray the debutante. It was as if I was finally who I was truly meant to be: Jewel.
Because of the weight of the fabric, the fastenings were more complicated and I had to practise getting out of the gown several times.
I wasn't bothered by the lighting men and stagehands seeing me dance, but more frequently Jimmy the barman came in early during the rehearsals. He was supposedly checking stocks, but he never seemed to be doing so when I performed. He'd stand in front of the bar, arms crossed, and stare at me with eyes that were cold and flat. It made my blood turn to ice.
âJimmy gives me the creeps,' I confided in Annie as she helped me change costumes in the dressing room. âHe glares at me like he's thinking about killing me.'
âI've noticed the way he looks at you too,' she said. âHe tried to tell me once that you shouldn't be talking to Leroy the way you do.'
My skin prickled. Leroy and I were constantly on guard to avoid suspicion at the club. We made eye contact but not too much eye contact; we never touched each other; and we never allowed ourselves to be alone together for more than a minute. It took discipline and a good memory, but we did it because the cost of discovery was too high.
I turned to face Annie. âWhat did he mean by that?'
âWith respect,' she said innocently, laying out my jewellery for the next routine, âit's obvious Jimmy doesn't approve of a white dancer being accompanied by a coloured band.'
I turned back to the dressing table so she wouldn't see the relief on my face. âWho cares what he thinks? If Sam approves, it's got nothing to do with him.'
She placed her hand on my shoulder. âI'll speak to Sam if you like,' she said. âIf that jerk's turning you off your performance,
he'll get rid of him. Plenty of barmen in this town. Only one Jewel!'
Later, after the show, when Leroy met me in the room in Chartres Street, I pushed him into a chair and then strutted around him, modelling the red strapless bra and G-string.
âI thought I'd do away with the superfluous dress,' I said, swinging my hips, âand just get down to business.'
He watched me, grinning widely, before he grabbed my hips and brought me to a stop in front of him. âYou might dance in front of other men,' he said, kissing my stomach and pulling me onto his lap, âbut only think of me, all right?'
I rubbed my cheek against his forehead. âI always think only of you.' I curled up against him and looked around the room. âThe best days of my life are the ones I've spent here.'
âThe best days
so far
, you mean,' he said, caressing my face.
âThe best days
so far
,' I repeated, running my hands through his hair and pulling him into a long kiss.
After we'd made love, I lay in Leroy's arms while he dozed and watched the dawn appear through the window. I traced my finger along his firm chest and fantasised about what it would be like to have a normal relationship, where we could hold hands without fear, or go grocery shopping or walk in the park as if it was a natural thing for a coloured man and a white woman to be doing. I thought about Jimmy, and how he didn't even know Leroy; he simply hated him because of his colour.
Reluctantly I removed myself from Leroy's embrace and dressed. There was always a sweet joy when we met and a nagging torment when we had to part.
Leroy opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at me. âIs it that time already?'
âWe're like vampires,' I said. âWe disappear with the sunrise.'
He sat up and looked at me tentatively. âI heard that Jimmy got fired last night. He wasn't too happy about it.'
âI'm glad,' I said, slipping into my shoes. âHe's not right in the head.'
Leroy stood and tugged on his pants. âBe careful, Jewel. When he left he said he was going to get even. Sam didn't give you as the reason for firing him, but I think it's pretty obvious. Everybody's noticed the odd way he's been staring at you.'
âWhy didn't you mention it last night?' I asked, slipping on my coat.
âI didn't want to spoil the evening. And I needed to think about what to do. When you finish at the club, don't leave too far ahead of me. I'll walk a distance behind you where I can still see you. All right?'
âYou really think he's dangerous?'
Leroy nodded. âHe's like one of those white supremacist hicks that are always threatening Ti-Jean. You never know what they might do.'
âAll right,' I said, moving to his side and kissing him. âYou always look out for me, don't you, Leroy?'
He took me in his arms. âAnd I always will. You're my precious Jewel.'
The following Sunday when I went to visit Leroy's family, I found the Tremé alive with jazz. From the houses came the sounds of trumpets, clarinets and trombones. People gathered on their stoops to listen. A brass band paraded down Claiborne Avenue with old ladies, housewives and children dancing after it.
I entered the Thezans' garden and a skeleton jumped out of the bushes and growled at me. I screamed and leaped back.
Laughter bubbled up from behind a hedge and Bunny and her children bobbed their heads up. I realised the skeleton was a man in a black suit with white bones painted on it. He removed his mask and revealed himself as Gerald, Leroy's brother-in-law.
âGive you a fright?' he asked, grinning at me.
âHeavens!' I said. âYou nearly stopped my heart! You're not supposed to do that until Mardi Gras morning!'
He chuckled. âWe're practising. Come up to the house. The women are cooking up a storm.'
I found Alma, Pearl, Eleanor and Dora in the kitchen enveloped in the bay-leaf-scented steam from pots boiling on the stove. Every bench and table was set up for food preparation. I cast my eyes over the chopped celery and onion, rice, cooked shrimp, corn cobs, bunches of fresh parsley and dried thyme. We were going to have one big feast.
âLeroy's out watching the band. He'll be here in a minute,' Pearl said, kissing me on the cheek. âNow, Jewel, do you think you can manage the remoulade sauce like I showed you?'
âI'm certain I can,' I assured her.
âGood!' she said with a twinkle of approval in her eyes. â'Cause I'm not having any daughter-in-law who can't even make mayonnaise! Leroy's too skinny as it is.'
My heart sang. I knew that Pearl liked me, but now I understood how much.
I made the sauce, and helped with the corn maque choux too, with a sense of contentment. But as we laid out the table for the meal, a pain pinched my heart. It was only because Pearl believed I was part coloured that she even considered the idea that I might marry Leroy.
I stared out the window at Bunny and the children playing in the garden. If Leroy and I had children they'd be mulatto, and get called anything from mongrels to jiggaboos. It would be humiliating for them. If we were to stay in New Orleans, the
only way for me to be with him would be to pass as coloured. It was common knowledge that light-skinned Negroes passed themselves off as white all the time in order to gain privileges and better-paid work. I'd never heard of anyone white passing themselves as coloured. But I'd do it for love. I'd do it for Leroy. But then there was Maman and Mae to consider.
My thoughts were interrupted when Leroy arrived with Ti-Jean. I hadn't seen Leroy's brother for a few weeks now. Leroy said he'd been in the country, encouraging coloured people to vote. All of us sat down, and Leroy reached under the table and squeezed my leg. He must have sensed I was downhearted because he kept complimenting everything I'd had some hand in making.
âMama says you do the seasoning just right for the fried rice,' he whispered to me. âShe says she's got competition! It's not easy to get a compliment out of Mama in regards to food.'
I smiled, touched by his desire to cheer me up.
Usually Ti-Jean ignored me at family lunches but today he was particularly interested in me. âSo what have you been up to lately, Jewel?'
Ti-Jean was university educated. I didn't want him to think of me as some ding-a-ling stripper.
âWell, I went to a meeting of the Urban League,' I replied.
âThe lady who supplies our flowers has been going too,' said Alma. âShe says the white folks who attend are real nice.'
âThat is a
nice
organisation,' said Ti-Jean. âNice white folks and philanthropists trying to help raise us Negroes up in society.'
The sarcasm in his voice stung me like a slap in the face.
Leroy frowned. âWhy are you being so hard on Jewel? She went to a meeting with the idea of making life better for coloured people. You should be happy about that.'
âWell, it's good that some white folks are trying to be helpful,' said Pearl, dishing out the red beans and rice. âWe're all God's
children and we should be acting that way. No man higher or lower than another.'
I was grateful to Leroy and Pearl for defending me. It seemed that no matter what I did or said it would never be the right thing by Ti-Jean. Still, I wasn't going to let him get away with being contemptuous of people like Clifford Lalande and his family simply because of
their
colour. They were making personal sacrifices in the name of justice when they could have been gallivanting around and enjoying all their white privileges.
âThe leaders are very committed,' I said. âOne of them is a lawyer, Clifford Lalande â'
âI know Clifford Lalande,' interrupted Ti-Jean, mopping up his jambalaya with a piece of bread. âA nice white boy from a good family.'
I ate a spoonful of rice to hide my surprise and burned my tongue. âHow do you know him?' I asked.
âWhen I got out of law school he tried to find me a job with an Uptown firm.' Ti-Jean's lip curled with anger. âThe best he could do was a clerk in the mail room. “It will be a foot in the door,” he told me. “You can prove your worth once you're in.” Funny how a coloured man who excelled with honours has to “prove his worth” whereas a white boy who barely passed can waltz in the door and get his own office.'
I pursed my lips. The favour Ti-Jean was quick to dismiss had most likely cost Clifford a few opportunities of his own. I wanted to defend him, but I was always walking on eggshells with Ti-Jean so I kept quiet. I hadn't explained to Leroy yet that Clifford was coming every Tuesday to visit and I didn't know how to stop him without raising Maman's suspicions.
âWell, you can't hate the man for trying, Ti-Jean,' said Joseph. âHe was doing his best to help you. It's not his fault Louisiana is how it is.'
âYou might think Lalande and his colleagues have pure motives, Pa,' retorted Ti-Jean, âbut they're looking out for
themselves. They know segregation is costing New Orleans economically and hurting their interests.'