Space in His Heart (31 page)

“Then you
should have had it in private,” he shot back. “Not on a pavilion in
full view of NASA Headquarters and Colonel Price.”

Damn, he was
right.

“Are you here
for the launch?” she asked, trying to control the temper that still
bubbled at the sight of him.

“Among other
things, yes. I started hearing some rumors and thought I might come
down and check things out. Evidently they were true.”

“
Yes,”
she let the hiss stay in her voice. “They
are
true.”

“Bad form,
Jess.” Bill put his hands in his pockets. “I hope it’s not
serious.”

Based on the
conversation she just had? Hard to say. A breeze took a pass at
Jessica’s hair, a strand flipping over her face and, she hoped,
covering her pained expression. “Why?”

“Tony told me
that you’re anxious to get home. I agreed to step into this
assignment and relieve you.”

A wave of
resentment crashed inside her as she crossed her arms for stability
and stared at him. “
What
?”

“You told Tony
weeks ago you wanted to leave. When I heard the, uh, rumors about
your situation here, I told him that was probably the best thing
for the agency. He agreed.”

“Colonel Price
has requested that I stay for the launch and I intend to
accommodate that request.” She started to walk by Bill, clinging to
her composure. “I’ll call Tony right now.”

“I wouldn’t do
that if I were you,” he warned. “He’s pretty ticked about the
hanky-panky with your client. Push him any further and you’re
liable to be job hunting.”

She spun on her
heel and slapped her hand on a concrete table, the birds scattering
and her flesh stinging. “No! I will stay here for the launch and
finish what I started. I have a commitment to NASA and this may
come as a shock to you, but I care about this launch and these…
people.”

“That much was
obvious.”

“All of these
people,” she said, gesturing around her. “What I don’t care about
is you or Tony or the rules and regulations of Ross &
Clayton.”

“Then you don’t
care about your job.”

“Not that one.
I care about this one.” She pointed a finger toward the launch pad
in the distance. “That’s all that matters to me now.”

She ignored
Bill’s stunned expression and began to walk toward the press
facility.

She had
to call
Newsweek
. She
had to help with the media. It was all she knew how to do and she
had to do her part to make this mission a success. Not her original
mission. The
real
mission.

Only then would
she leave. When she got home, she might have to figure out how to
live without Deke Stockard, but she’d do it knowing she did
everything possible for them to succeed.

Chapter
Twenty-four

Arriving
at the press viewing area two hours before lift-off, Jessica paused
to drink in the sight of the brilliantly lit shuttle atop a gentle
cloud of steam, poised for its venture into space. Only three miles
away, she stood at the closest point any non-essential person could
be to a launch. She could clearly see the outline of the external
fuel tank, the rocket boosters coupled tightly with the orbiter
itself and the complex, towering mass of metal
that was
the connecting gantry. It was
breathtaking and awe-inspiring. And terrifying.

She knew Deke
and the four other astronauts had already been dusted and dressed
in the brilliant orange protective gear, crossed the catwalk, and
buckled in to monitor the computer and video screens.

The sky,
although still black and starry, was clear with an air temperature
of an unusually warm sixty-two degrees. Since all the landing sites
had good weather, the only possibilities for a delay were the
innumerable technical and computer difficulties that so many
launches encountered. The launch window was short, just under eight
minutes, and they couldn’t miss it. A rescheduled flight wasn’t an
option on this mission.

The
loudspeakers played the audio feed from Launch and Mission Control
communicating with the shuttle. Periodically, the muffled,
microphoned voice of the man she loved broke through the static as
he responded in terse monotone to instructions from the launch
manager.

She
hadn’t heard his voice for two days. Since Friday morning,
when
they talked on the
pavilion, he had been immersed in non-stop, last-minute
training.

Each time she
heard him on the speaker, her heart constricted and she gazed
toward the sight of the illuminated launch pad. There he was, ready
to take off, ready to save someone’s life. She quaked inside.

She thought of
Valerie and Jack Stockard in the VIP viewing area on top of the
Launch Control Center. They were the only other people here who
could love Deke as much as she did, who could care as deeply.

By four thirty
that morning, her nerves frayed and ready to snap, Jessica sipped a
warm cup of tea and stepped away from the hordes of reporters.

A moment later,
Stuart stood next to her. He put his arm around her and the
brotherly gesture nearly brought her to tears. “I know you well
enough by now to try and help you.”

She looked at
her friend, not sure what he meant, but happy to have the gentle
touch after the biting attacks of the media she’d spent the past
forty-eight hours trying to defuse. “I’m fine, really.”

“We’re swimming
with Public Affairs staff, Jess. You don’t have to be here.”

“Where else on
earth would I be?”

“With the
families. With the spouses and loved ones of the crew.” He squeezed
her a little tighter. “Where you belong.”

She studied the
warm twinkle in his eyes. “I guess I haven’t done a very good job
of hiding my feelings, have I?”

“Pretty tough
to hide the fireworks when the two of you are in the same room.” He
laughed softly. “Go be with the families, Jess.”

The possibility
was so appealing she nearly cried. “Could I really do that,
Stuart?”

“With that
badge, you can go anywhere.” He gave her a little nudge. “It’s a
two-minute drive. I’ll take you.”

Without
thinking, she put both arms around him. “Stuey, you are the best.
Let me get my purse… and cell phone, of course.”

Jessica had
toured the Launch Control Center and knew exactly where the
Stockards would be. Most of the VIP spectators were gathered on the
main floor, a large, glass-walled room that faced the launch pad on
one side and the dozens of computers, technicians, and video
screens that formed the Launch Control Center on the other.
Everyone waited for the instruction to move to the second floor,
where they would sit in rooftop bleachers for an unobstructed view
of the launch.

Entering the
main area where families and VIP guests mingled and chatted,
Jessica showed her badge to the guard and quickly scanned the room.
As soon as she caught the bright blue eyes of Valerie Stockard, the
older woman’s face broke into a smile and they rushed to each
other.

“Jessica! I was
so worried we wouldn’t get to see you!” Valerie kissed her cheek,
erasing any remaining doubts she had about watching the launch with
Deke’s parents.

Jessica held
both of Valerie’s hands and saw the strain on her face. “Are you
all right?”

“Wait till you
become a mother, dear. From the first bike ride with no training
wheels, it’s hell.”

The comment
struck a bittersweet chord that squeezed her throat. If only she
could find out.

Jack appeared
at Valerie’s arm, beaming with pride and offering a bear hug to
Jessica.

“Can you stay
here with us or do you have to be with the media, dear?” Valerie
asked.

“I can’t take
another minute of them, quite frankly. I’d love to watch the launch
from here. With you, if you don’t mind.” It felt so right, so
completely perfect to be with them. Far from the reporters, far
from the job. Here, with family.

“We’d be
delighted,” Jack responded with a heartfelt smile.

* * *

At T-minus nine
minutes, at the start of a built-in ten-minute hold on the
countdown, the VIP guests were guided upstairs to the outdoor
viewing area. Once on the viewing deck, the families naturally
grouped together. Alongside Jack, Valerie pulled Jessica next to
her as they took seats on the bleachers. The simple act touched
Jessica and she wished she could tell this dear woman how much her
kindness meant on that nerve-racking morning.

The Florida sky
remained suspended somewhere between nighttime and dawn, painted in
a dramatic smoky violet that left both the stars and a few puffy
clouds strangely visible at the same time. In the distance, Jessica
saw the curved sliver of the moon hung low, a reminder of the
glorious days when families gathered here to watch their loved ones
take off for a walk on that orb.

The countdown
continued at T-minus eight minutes and fifty-nine seconds and a
hush fell over the viewing area. The loudest sound came from the
single speaker, crackling with static and the staccato conversation
between the crew and Mission Control and the periodic announcement
of the countdown status.

Every time they
heard Deke’s voice, Jessica saw Jack Stockard’s jaw clench, a
familiar muscle tensing in his handsome face.

At
T-minus seven minutes and thirty seconds, the catwalk was pulled
away from the orbiter and Mission Control instructed the ground
crew to begin their exodus from the gantry. That was it. Just the
five brave souls inside
Endeavour
remained on the launch pad, a small team of courageous
rescuers, determined to risk their lives to save Micah
Petrenko’s.

At T-minus four
minutes, the flight crew was ordered to close the airtight visors
on their helmets.

“Roger that.
We’re sealed up.”

“That’s it,”
Jack whispered. “He won’t say another word till he’s in orbit.”
Then he smiled at the two women next to him. “Relax. He can fly
anything.”

The sound
of Deke’s final words to her rang in her ears.
Will you be here when I
land?

At T-minus
forty-five seconds, a massive cloud of steam mushroomed around the
engines of the shuttle.

“
What
causes that steam
again, Jack?” Valerie asked.

“Three hundred
thousand gallons of water. Less noise, less damage to the
shuttle.”

At T-minus
twenty-five seconds, Mission Control announced that the main engine
firing sequence was turned over to the onboard computers. Valerie
reached for Jessica’s hand and squeezed it, looking first to her
husband and then to Jessica. Her eyes were filled with tears, and a
mixture of pride and fear froze the features on her face.

At T-minus ten
seconds the crowd began to chant, and for a moment, Jessica
remembered the feeling of Deke’s arms around her as they counted
down to the New Year together.

Nine… eight…
seven…

Oh, my love,
be safe.

At T-minus six
seconds, the main engines fired. An explosion of brilliant orange
flames spewed forth, a blinding and intense inferno of color nearly
as big as the launch pad itself, filling the air with a pungent,
acrid smell and assaulting the senses of every onlooker. Jessica
instinctively squeezed her eyes closed to protect them from the
fiery brilliance. Tears splashed on her cheeks.

Four… three…
two…

A rumbling
eruption and a second billowing cloud mixed with flames exploded
and sent earth-shattering thunder across the flat land of Kennedy
Space Center. The Launch Control Center trembled with the force of
the rolling explosion, shaking the bleachers and rattling Jessica
to her bones. Propelled by the fire and fuel, the giant rockets
gradually and deliberately lifted from the ground.

Jessica
wiped at the tears streaming down her face with one hand and held
Valerie’s in a death grip with the other.
Deke, please get up there. Darling,
please, I love you so much. Please, please be safe.
Her heart hammered in her
chest, her breath suspended as she waited in terror and
anticipation and utter amazement.

In less
than three seconds—an eternity—
Endeavour
cleared the tower of Launch Pad 39B. With a
glorious plume of flames and smoke, it rose higher toward the
heavens, then rolled on its back to continue its journey. Jessica’s
eyes stayed fixed on the flame in the sky and she finally exhaled
as the solid rocket boosters dropped silently into the air. Still
the shuttle continued at the top of a mile-long white contrail that
cut through the morning sky.

Farther
and
farther
he
went until there was no more than a millimeter of flame, then the
external fuel tank dropped and the main engines were the only light
visible to earth. It was his last stroke of color in the
dawn-tinted sky, a final farewell before Deke took over the flight
deck, masterfully and flawlessly guiding his ship into the
blackness of outer space.

Jessica dropped
her head on Valerie’s shoulder and fought back a sob. She felt Jack
Stockard’s arms come around both of them as they formed a tiny
circle of three.

Valerie
wiped her face and laughed a little. “Now all he’s got to do is fly
through outer space, attach a thousand
-
ton spacecraft to a moving target, and rescue a
dying man.”

“That’s not
all, Val,” Jack added with a wry smile. “He has to land the son of
a bitch that’s held together with bubble gum and tape.”