And I don’t know why, but something felt off about it all. Not wrong mind you, just not right neither. Not that Kabe didn’t start up things between us at times. Lord knew it would get pretty darn boring if it were only me driving the when and where we got it on. Kabe knew what he wanted and knew how to ask for it. Even got all aggressive at times. I was fine with that.
This didn’t feel like one of those times.
I wrapped my hand around the back of his skull and tried to control him some. Kabe shook off my grip and pulled away. He came back and kissed down the length of my prick until he got to my balls. Then he started licking on them. Brought my foot up and caught my toes on the strut of one the bar stools…giving Kabe room to move and all. Boy knew how to work that, driving little needles of heat all up through my frame. Plumb forgot why I was bothered in the first place.
Sparks flared up all along my insides when he began jerking me as he sucked one of my balls between his lips. Not a lot of guys got that right. He knew how to keep my blood boiling without catching me wrong. The heat built in my belly, flaring up and out across my nerves. I found myself shuddering, all my muscles twitching in time to his hand.
My dick missed his touch something awful. Weren’t ever gentle. I didn’t like pain, at least not in the way Kabe did, but finesse didn’t do it either. His palm, full of calluses from every rough patch of granite he’d ever touched and burn of rope across his skin, felt better than the softest caress of some guy who’s idea of adventure was taking a guided trail ride.
“It’s gonna go.” Managed to get it out between sucking down air. “Give me a break and I can do more.”
A nasty laugh answered me. He sped up. Stroking my dick. Licking my balls. I didn’t want to right then, but some things a man just don’t have all that much control over. My chest all tightened up and I think I forgot how to think for just a sec as I shot all over my wood floor. A few more pumps, as Kabe got his face out from between my legs and milked the last drops from prick, let me catch my breath.
Once I didn’t have no more in me, Kabe rocked back on his heels and ran his hands through his hair. This smirk twisted up the corners of his mouth. “So who’s better, me or your friend?”
I thought a moment and then realized I had no idea what he was on about. “What?”
Kabe stood. “Who sucks dick better?” He crossed his arms over his chest and rocked back on one hip. “That’s why you went to see him, right? That guy, Dev.”
I blinked. The boy had gone crazy. “Nothing happened.” That had to be it, ‘cause I sure had no other explanation for his train of thought.
“Just had dinner and went home?” Boy, his face went sour with that question.
I laughed, not hard mind you, but just kinda from being floored by Kabe’s attitude and all. “We talked for a while.” Nothing in my mind added up right then. Some of that likely could be laid on me getting off…didn’t do nothing for my IQ.
“Talked.” He said it like I’d said we’d spent the night building houses on the moon. “About what?”
Got a little irritated as I snorted out, “Things.” I bent down and grabbed up the towel from the floor. Then I covered myself up as I headed for the stairs.
Kabe followed. “What things, Joe.” He poked at me with his tone. “What did you talk to him about?” The volume of his voice amped up with each word. “Just fucking curious.”
“I ain’t seen Dev in, Lord, almost a year.” I shrugged and took the first two steps in one stride. “We talked about a lot of things.”
“Whatever.” The way his voice came at me made me turn. Kabe grabbed up his parka and started shoving his arms through the sleeves.
He’d just showed up now he was leaving? “Where you going?” Okay, my confusion had nothing to do with my brain handing the reins off to my dick for a bit. Either I’d gone crazy or he had. I voted on Kabe’s marbles hitting the wind.
“I don’t know.” Tugging up the zipper on his parka, he glared at me with enough venom to poison half the state. “Not staying here though.”
I knew things weren’t right between us, but still, I just needed to get some clothes on and then we could work a bit on things. “Why? I mean…”
“Oh, yeah, we messed around, everything’s fixed…not.” He sneered.
Nothing that boy did or said made sense. “I don’t get it.” I leaned over the rail and shot him back the blackest stare I had in my repertoire. Considering I’d been a sworn officer about half as long as he’d been alive, I had a lot of nasty to work with.
“See, all you really want is the sex.” He propped his butt against the back of the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. “I get that now. I’m cool with it.” He didn’t sound
cool
with anything. “You’re a fucking horndog top, and there ain’t nobody else around to give you some ass. I get it. Fuck buddies. Okay.”
It wasn’t. I wasn’t like that. “That ain’t how it is.” I knew guys who were that way, but me, I’d been raised to believe you have one person who’s with you and that’s it. Might have been strange, given that I’d also been raised that gay was a choice, a sin, not something you was born with. “I would no more cheat on you than I would cheat on God.” But everyone settles things in their minds to their own heart.
“No.” Kabe shook his head. “Look, I’m fine with you screwing other guys as long as I get the same privilege.” With both index fingers, he pointed at my chest and then at his own. “Didn’t realize that’s what our deal was, especially after that night in Salt Lake, but hey, it’s fine.” Swept his hands out flat like he was wiping sand off a table.
I had no idea where this all came from. “What the Sam Hill are you on about?” I stepped on back down and leaned against the banister post.
Kabe rolled his eyes. “Don’t try and tell me you and your pal didn’t get together.”
I wouldn’t try, I’d just tell him. “Not like that.”
“Right.” Didn’t sound like he was biting. “Where’d you spend the night, Joe?”
“What night?” Had a idea, given that he mentioned Dev, but I weren’t all that certain.
“Don’t play fucking hick with me. You know goddamn well what night.” He whipped out his phone, swept his thumb across the screen and then tapped something on it. When Kabe turned the face towards me, a dim, kinda off focus little bit of video played. Would have been hard to tell who the folks in the clip were if’n I didn’t already know. Me. Dev. Me tucking my shirt in and zipping up my jacket as I walked out the back of the lodge towards my truck, probably on around too damn early in the morning. Then Dev came on up behind me, gave me a big ol’ bear hug and kissed right along my jaw. Kabe flipped the phone around so he could watch. “Oh, yeah, that’s the same lodge I work at. Employee parking’s out back and I get to work at what, six? Real smart, Joe.” He snorted. “Maybe you are a dumb hick.”
What that didn’t catch, and likely Kabe hadn’t heard, was me telling Dev to knock it off. “I stayed there.” I wouldn’t lie about that. “I was too tired to drive on home that night.”
“Oh my fucking God.” Sneering, He shoved his phone back in his pocket. “You admit it.”
“I’d have told you even if you didn’t have that.” I would have. Planned to in fact as part of getting through things between us. Not that I’d done anything, but, you know, that Nadia and Dev kinda helped me see the light some.
“Right.” He drew out the vowels on the word about twice as long as they really needed.
“I didn’t cheat on you.” I got up in his face. “Won’t lie and say it didn’t get offered, and not like I didn’t think about it…well, I guess that’s kinda the point, I didn’t think on it. Things just started happening and then it hit me where my mind was heading.” Ain’t easy looking all angry and stern wearing nothing but a towel, but I think I managed okay. “I stopped, I said no, and we both didn’t do nothing.”
“Without even finding out what it would be like?” He sneered.
“I know what it’s like with him.” My turn to look at him like he was crazy. “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the postcard.” My tone hit nine kinds of nasty. “And it’s good for what it is.”
Kabe pushed past me and circled ‘round the furniture towards the door. “What is it?”
“Blowing off steam when there ain’t nobody else around.” I insisted as I followed him. “Couple of times we sandwiched someone between us and that got pretty hot. But Dev just don’t got what I need.” Neither of us, Dev and I, were what the other wanted. We liked each other fine, but not anywhere near in the way I liked Kabe. “I think all of one time, I, ah, smacked his ass with my belt…you know we’s sharing a hotel room, being buddies, for a weekend a few years back. He’s laying there all nekkid ‘cause he just got out of the shower and I’m shucking my clothes to get in. It landed right across his butt and Dev came off that bed and I thought he was gonna rip my head clean off.”
Kabe turned, walked backwards and pushed his hands off at me like he shoved me away. “Know what?” He shook his head and his mouth folded into this tense line across his face. “Just, no.”
“Whatcha mean no?”
“I don’t believe you.” His jaw was all tight, his body held like he wanted to hit something. “You’ve lied to me about bigger shit.”
Thought a moment and realized there weren’t no denying that accusation. Screwed up my gut and admitted, “You’re right.”
Kabe resumed his stalk towards the door. “Agreeing with me is not going to work.”
“You ain’t got no reason to trust me right now.” This time I didn’t follow. Just stood there and glared at his back. “Believe me, or believe that little bit of it your eyes are telling you. I was just too beat to drive on home, but we didn’t do nothing except talk half the night.”
“Talk?” That stopped him in his tracks. “What do you mean, talk? Like you talk to me, ‘here’s the deal, kid, take it?’ or you actually had a conversation?” When he turned around, well, I don’t think I’d ever seen him that floored.
“We talked.” Maybe he’d finally seen the light.
He blinked a few times before stuttering out, “About what?”
“What in the heck do you think
about
? What do you think the biggest thing on my mind is right now?”
Oh so slow, he hissed out. “You talked about us?” His head was tipped over and his eyes were scrunched down into thin little lines.
I swallowed. “Yeah, and everything else that’s been going on.” Dev, Nadia, heck even Frank, never got near close to what I was telling Kabe now. “How it’s all just going down the drain and what I’m going to do about it.” I don’t think I’d never talked with anyone about things like I did then. “You know, with my hearing and you calling me out on it.”
“I don’t fucking believe you!” He yelled so loud it rocked me back.
“What?”
Darn near vibrating, Kabe advanced on me. “You won’t talk to me about jack shit, but you’ll talk to some asshole about all of it.”
“I’ve know Dev for going on eight years.” Lord Almighty, I gave ground. “He’s my friend.” I protested.
Kabe stopped. “And what the fuck am I?” He shook. “Oh yeah, I’m just the city boy you fuck around with. You don’t have to tell me jack shit.” He managed to swallow and then spit out, “It would have been better if you fucked him.”
“Excuse me?”
“I mean, Jesus fucking Christ,” he bellowed. “You won’t even talk to me about, oh, I don’t know,” he grabbed his head with both hands, “that I’m about to get thrown on the witness stand and have my ass handed to me.” He took two steps in my direction and then kicked the recliner. “But you’ll spill your guts to someone else.” Kabe lashed out with his fist this time, pounding the back of the chair. “If it was fucking, eventually I’d get used to it—wasn’t anything, dick took the reins and your brain turned off. But, fuck!” His yell echoed through three counties. “Bite me!”
Cain’t say that I kept the volume down either. “You’d have been okay if we sucked each other’s peckers,” I came around the couch towards him, “but you ain’t okay with me just talking with an old friend?”
“And I’m what?” He bellowed back. “Fucking chopped-liver? I Goddamn fucking sleep with you. I damn near live here. And you can’t fucking talk to me about shit that affects our life?” Another one of those hard and not at all amused laughs burst out of his throat. “I get it. I’m just a hole for your dick. Friends get talked to. I get fucked.”
Lord, Kabe made it sound bad. “I didn’t mean it like that!”
“No, actually you did.” Still yelling, Kabe backed towards the door. “Look, I took that video just to fuck with your holier than thou attitude and how bright and shiny you think you are.” Took him a bit of fumbling to yank the front door wide. He stood in the opening, shaking like a leaf in a gale. “But Jesus fucking Christ,” he spat, “how dare you spill your guts…about fucking us, Goddammit, to somebody else.” For a moment he stood there like he was trying to think of how to breathe. “You know what? Go fuck yourself!” He slammed the door so hard that most all the icicles along the front porch came crashing down.
Kabe jumped out of his truck as I pulled up in front of an orange monstrosity of a building. Every feature of Spanish architecture—patios, arches and a big ol’ bell tower—somehow made it onto the structure. A big sign painted in day-glow colors announced
La Casita.
The early lunch crowd didn’t dominate the parking lot yet. I gave it time, since it weren’t quite even half past eleven.
I realized, at the moment I saw Kabe, I missed the sight of him something awful. He looked so fine. Right then Kabe wore a white hoodie sweatshirt under a red parka vest and a pair of ripped-up faded jeans. I didn’t know how the heck he kept himself warm like that. Well, I could guess, since I caught glimpses of his long-johns with their cookie pattern through the holes in his jeans. Folks didn’t want to look too close at the words scrawled on ‘em:
bite me
. I think I’d laughed myself to tears the first time he’d worn ‘em…and then I’d obliged by following instructions.
Still, I weren’t none too happy about being here. There were about three hundred things that could get my butt handed to me on a platter with this stunt. Not the least of which was fudging how desperately low the copy paper supply was at the station, requiring someone to
volunteer
to run to the big office supply chain at the end of their shift.