Sam remained huddled beneath a pile of discarded rags by the wall. He gazed into space, still rocking back and forth, but had stopped pounding the floor. Simon guessed that Sam had been trying to call for help. When his voice became hoarse from screaming he had turned to slapping the stone floor. Help had arrived, but Sam’s terror was far from gone. He appeared to be living in his own personal Hell. A place I longed to send his captor.
Emma barely spared a glance at the murderer trussed on the floor. She would normally do anything to help any living creature, but this werewolf was a killer. He had been stalking Cal’s pack and had already tasted blood once. Emma didn’t show her usual gentleness or kindness as she completed a cursory examination of his wounds. “He’ll live,” she spat, making it sound like a curse.
Emma directed Simon in the evacuation of the cave. I stayed wherever Cal lay, never letting go of his hand. When Emma pulled her mom’s van into my driveway I just blinked in confusion. What were we doing here
? When did we get into the van?
“You have to let go now, love,” Simon said gently, as he pried my fingers from Cal’s hand. “Time to get you home to your parents.”
I gripped Cal’s hand more tightly and stared mutely at Simon.
“Yuki, it’s okay,” Emma said. “I’m pretty sure that Cal has a concussion. We need to get him back to the cabin, but you need to go home. The pack can’t have your parents getting curious.” I loosened my grip and let her slide her cool hand into mine. “You need sleep. Let me get you inside.”
Emma led me inside and up to my room. Once I was in bed she clicked the overhead light off and turned to leave.
“What about Cal?” I asked, staring at the ceiling.
“He’ll be okay,” Emma said. “I promise.” Then she was gone.
I couldn’t lose Cal. The pain of potential loss was all consuming, like stepping into a shadow and being swallowed whole, leaving nothing but darkness.
Chapter 14
The sound of wind rustling through tall grass made me open my eyes.
Since when did grass grow in my bedroom?
Gazing up at the ashen sky I could see blades of grass waving beside me. Pulling myself into a sitting position I looked at my surroundings. I appeared to be in a large field. Seeing no apparent threats, I stood. Where I had lain grew a small patch of beautiful blossoming wild flowers.
Strange I didn’t crush them.
That wasn’t the only thing that was odd about this place. Turning a pirouette, on the ball of my booted foot, I could see only grass in every direction.
Reaching down to touch the soil, I sent out a questioning thought to my spirit guide. “Why am I here?” I asked, silently.
I had discovered my assigned spirit animal at Shaman Camp with Cal. His kind of fun, not mine. Shaman Camp involved way too much dirt and hand holding and not nearly enough bathing. I stayed long enough to participate in a special ceremony where I was informed that my spirit animal was the scarab, or dung beetle. Not something I was overly excited about. Cal’s spirit animal, of course, was the wolf.
In previous dreams I had been able to manifest either my scarab spirit guide or Cal’s wolf spirit. Scarabs have a connection to the earth, hence touching the soil, but my spirit guide had said to return to her when I had learned “to walk the world of dreams and darkness.” I wasn’t so sure that I had learned enough in the past few weeks to warrant her help.
Digging my fingers into the moist soil I closed my eyes and I asked my question again. “Why am I here?” I asked.
A tingling began in my fingers and ran up through my arms. A warm pulsing rose up through my feet and I knew in which direction to walk. Good thing, since everything in this place looked the same. Striding forward I was shocked to see flowers blossoming wherever I stepped. Staring at the flowers rising up around my boots, I nearly fell when I heard a familiar voice.
“You always were so full of life,” Cal said.
Cal.
“Oh God, you’re here!” I exclaimed, launching myself into his arms. “I was so worried.” Closing my eyes, I drank in his smell and the feel of him encircling me.
“Yuki, open your eyes,” he said.
Gazing up at Cal’s handsome face I etched every detail into memory. I vowed to never again be apart from his shaggy hair that fell into deep blue eyes and the full mouth that I now longed to kiss.
I had recently promised myself that I would never let him get hurt again, but he did get hurt. I had been the catalyst when he lost control of his human form at the Homecoming dance and I had stood helpless as he was attacked earlier this evening. I needed to become stronger. I needed to train with the pack and learn how to help protect those I loved, protect Cal, and not be a liability.
I love you so much Calvin Miller.
“Look at where we touch,” Cal said, his voice sad.
Curious, I looked at where his arms encircled my own. Though he felt solid, I had sunk an inch or more into him. He was fading, still substantial at the center, but transparent along his skin. Was he a ghost?
Was he…dead?
“I don’t…Cal, I don’t understand,” I said, brushing my left hand through his arm. He felt warm, but he was not as solid as I originally thought. But I could still feel the heat of him. He can’t be dead.
He just can’t.
“I…I think I’m dying,” he said, voice quavering. “I keep losing my wolf spirit and…I believe I may die if I can’t be reunited with him.”
“God Cal, don’t say that,” I said. “I can’t lose you. I just can’t.”
“We won’t ever lose each other,” Cal said, stroking my cheek. “Remember, no matter what happens, you’re my soul mate. You complete me.”
“What can I do to help?” I asked, trying to remain hopeful.
I won’t let you leave me Calvin Miller.
“When you leave this place, I need you to call my wolf spirit,” Cal said, intently. “Each time I’ve seen him here he has been standing on a fallen log reaching towards a glowing light. Yuki, we can’t let him go into the light. I think if that were to happen I would die. I need my wolf spirit in order to live.”
“Can’t we just find him again?” I asked. “What if you talk to him?”
“I can’t get close to him,” Cal said, shaking his head. “When I try to, he disappears. I haven’t even been able to find the log he stands on. Yuki, I need your help. Can you dance for me?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ll call your wolf spirit back to you. I promise.”
“Thank you,” Cal whispered, pulling me closer to him. I tried not to notice how I drifted through him. “Oh no.”
I opened my eyes and followed Cal’s gaze to the ground. The flowers by my feet were shriveling and turning black.
“Yuki, you have to go,” Cal said.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I said, shakily.
“This place will draw the life from you,” Cal said. “You’re fully alive. You don’t belong here. You have to go now.”
“I love you,” I said, looking up into his eyes.
“I love you more,” Cal said, kissing my cheek and then my lips. “Now run. Run and don’t look back.”
I ran. Tears streaming down my face, gasping for breath, I ran as fast and as far as my legs would take me. I ran away from the man I loved, hurtling towards my destiny.
Chapter 15
October 25
th
I awoke gasping and churning the covers with my legs. I had made it home, safely back in my body for now, and needed to find Cal. Sitting up in bed I felt pressure building behind my eyes and pain at my temples. Great, a migraine was not something I needed today. Unfortunately the only thing that helped my headaches was a dose of Emma’s horrific tasting tea. I guess I would just have to drink her noxious brew and wash it down with the bitter truth. Cal was hovering on the brink of death and I was the only person with a chance to save him.
No pressure or anything.
Hands shaking, I hastily dressed and brushed my teeth. My eyes were puffy from last night’s crying and surrounded by dark circles. I grabbed a pair of sunglasses from the pile of accessories on my vanity and slid them on.
Better.
I didn’t want my parents asking questions about my ragged appearance. It wasn’t like I could be truthful about Cal’s condition. If Cal couldn’t seek medical attention at a hospital, then his concussion would have to remain a secret from those outside the pack. My mom loved Calvin and there was no way she would understand him lying at home in a coma. She may respect his parents’ wishes to a point, but my mom wasn’t the kind of woman to stand by and watch while someone she cared about was hurt. If there was something she could do, then she would risk a great deal to help, a passing friendship with his parents be damned. It was funny, but in that way my mom and I were a lot alike.
Guess I know where I get it from.
Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, I attempted to act normal. Reaching for the coffee pot, I filled a travel mug and carefully twisted on the lid. My dad looked up when I pulled my backpack over my shoulder and headed toward the door.
“Leaving so soon?” he asked, smiling. He was sitting at the table looking over the Sunday paper, his scuffed slippers propped on a nearby chair.
I made a mental note to buy him a new pair of slippers for Christmas.
If I’m still around then.
The thought crept in and shattered the moment.
“Sorry Dad, Emma and I have plans to go apple picking,” I said. My parents worked all week and I felt guilty rushing off the one day they were home, but Cal needed me.
“Have fun,” he said, attention swinging back to his newspaper.
I was glad that it had been my dad, not my mom, in the kitchen. She was way more perceptive and a pair of sunglasses probably wouldn’t have been enough to hide the truth. Thank goodness for small favors. With one last glance, I turned and walked out into a cold new day.
*****
Huddled against the cold, I walked quickly. I could have called Emma for a ride, but knew she probably had been up all night tending to Cal and Sam. She may even have provided medical care to our murderer. My hands involuntarily tightened into fists. Just thinking about the man who attacked Cal, putting him into a coma, made my blood boil. Maybe the cool air would help clear my head.
I breathed deeply, filling my nose with the sickly sweet smell of rotten crab apples. My long black skirt swish swished as I waded through the sea of fallen leaves. The familiar sounds and smells were calming, and for the first time I realized that the smell of burnt brownies was gone. We caught Gavin’s killer. Perhaps that was all he needed for his soul to find peace.
I had recently been told that I was the light that helped lead lost souls out of darkness. Helping the spirits of the dead was a task I took seriously, but this morning I didn’t feel like celebrating. I was glad that Gavin had found peace, but I wasn’t feeling like a wondrous beacon of light.
More like a storm cloud filled with unshed tears.
I was having a hard time dealing with what had happened last night. Calvin wasn’t just my soul mate. He was my best friend. I couldn’t imagine a world that didn’t include Cal, and didn’t want to. How could one madman come into our lives and cause so much pain? This was one storm cloud who wouldn’t mind striking that man down.
Maybe if I’m angry enough lightning bolts will shoot out my butt.
I continued down the leaf strewn sidewalk, tears of frustration rolling down my face to fall on my black blouse. Diamonds of pain left to sparkle in the morning sun.
Eventually the cabin came within sight and I realized that I had been walking in a daze.
Calvin is in there and he needs my help.
Heart hammering in my chest, I quickened my pace and strode up the path to the door. With a rap on the door frame, I ducked inside. The only light was the dust mote filled sunbeams streaming in through the cabin windows. Moving aside to shut the door, I stepped into the room, catching my foot on something large and soft, and fell across one warm body to land, spread eagle, on a second. Guess I should have turned on the lights.
So much for trying not to wake everyone up.
“Well now, if you wanted to get inside my sleeping bag,” Simon quipped, “all you had to do was ask. Of course, I’m not complaining, love. Waking up with a girl on top of me isn’t a bad way to start my morning, but I could have done without the elbow in the ribs.”
It was too dark to tell, but I was sure he just winked at me. Pushing away from Simon, and giving an extra jab with my elbow, I heard a mumbled yelp.
“Yuki, watch where you stick that thing,” Emma grumbled.
Wincing, I looked behind me to see my booted left foot an inch from Emma’s mouth. “Sorry!” I exclaimed, disentangling myself from their sleeping bags. “What are you guys doing anyway?”
“I can’t speak for wolf man over there, but I was trying to get some sleep,” Emma said sulkily.
“In front of the door?” I asked.
“It was either that or sleep next to Simon,” Emma said. “Since Hell hasn’t frozen over yet, I slept in front of the door.”
“If you guys had to sleep on the floor, then…?” I began to ask.
“Yeah, yeah loverboy is sleeping soundly on the bed,” Simon finished for me.
I stumbled over to the corner where Cal lay unmoving on the bed. Someone, probably Emma, had pulled the soft quilt up over his arms and shoulders to sit just beneath his chin. Beneath the blankets he was positioned on his back with arms at his sides. Corpse Pose my mind volunteered. With a shudder I pulled one of his arms out from under the blankets and held his hand.
It felt strange holding him without being held in return. No hello squeeze, or comforting embrace, just a limp hand to trace with my fingers. I turned his hand over and looked at the network of intersecting lines and grooves. A few years ago Cal had dared me into going with him to a palm reader. A “chiromancy” appointment he called it. When we arrived I was surprised to see that the woman who would read our fortunes was a blond woman in her forties, not the dark haired crone I had envisioned. She had looked at Cal strangely at first, but then nodded her head and told him happily that he had a strong life line. Cal had believed her, but she could have been a charlatan. I suddenly hoped that her reading had been accurate. I needed Cal to keep on living. I couldn’t lose him now.