Spirit's Chosen (26 page)

“Good ones, I hope,” Tami said with a forced grin.

“
Only
good ones.” I looked at the other women. “And I think I’m not the only one with knowledge to share.”

My words had a wonderful effect on our housemates. They all began to chatter about their experiences giving birth and dispensed plenty of advice for things Tami could do to make the process easier and control her pains. Kaya was the only one with nothing to add, though she did help by telling funny stories to entertain us all.

It was a very long night. We reassured Tami that a first
birth could take a long time while the child hesitated over leaving a place of warmth and safety for an unknown adventure. We took turns walking with her and rubbing her back when she lay down for a rest.

When the pains overtook her, I encouraged her to yell as much as she liked: “Louder! Louder! It will make you feel better. Go on, see if you can wake up every one of the wolves! The women will understand and if the men complain, I’ll—I’ll—well, I’ll hand them over to the women!”

The stars faded and the sun goddess looked over the mountains to find everyone in our household cloudy-headed from the continuing vigil. Tami’s baby was taking its time, though we all agreed it would come soon.

“Not soon enough,” Tami said, panting. “If only it weren’t so hot!”

The old woman patted her hand. “It will be even hotter in the paddies today, and the flies will be biting. Be grateful that you’ll be in here, out of the sun, living the life of a grand lady while the rest of us are out there working.” She cackled at her own joke.

“You’re leaving me?” Panic choked Tami’s voice.

“What choice do we have, my dear? But we’ll ask one of the Ookami women to look in on you and bring help when the time comes.”

“No, we won’t,” I said. I knelt beside Tami’s bed and folded my arms. “I am staying right here.”

“Himiko, you’ll get in trouble,” Kaya said, looking concerned.

“I’ll take that chance and any consequences. Just one thing: before you leave, can you bring more water?”

Kaya began to argue with me, but dropped it when she saw that I wasn’t going to give in. She refilled our largest pot with fresh water and set it down within easy reach of Tami’s bed, along with a bowl and a wadded-up piece of cloth. When I picked it up and unfurled it, I saw that it was a man’s tunic.

“Where did this come from?”

“A generous wolf who wants us to have something nice and clean to wrap this little cub,” she replied airily.

“Did you
ask
him to be so ‘generous’?”

“It must have slipped my mind. I was in a hurry.” Brash and triumphant, Lady Badger flashed me a smile and was gone. The other women followed.

Soon after, Tami’s pains began to come more frequently and more intensely. I filled the bowl with fresh water, dipped rags in it, and wiped her face and body, using one of our bamboo plates to waft coolness over her. Her cries brought a number of inquisitive Ookami women to our doorway. They all looked startled to see me there with her and fled before I could ask them to fetch a midwife.

“It’s happening, Himiko!” Tami exclaimed, groping for my hands. She squeezed my wrists so tightly I thought she’d snap the bones. Her cries changed, growing deeper, turning to growls and curses. When she released me, I staggered to my feet and ran for the door, yelling for someone,
anyone
within sound of my voice to bring a knife.

“Ah, so it is true!” An Ookami man with a toad’s squat body came swaggering up to me, his pockmarked brow bunched up with disapproval. “Here you are, where you have no business being. Get to the fields, girl!”

“My friend is having a baby,” I said, matching him scowl for scowl. “I’m staying here to help.”

“You’re doing no such thing. I was sent all the way here from the paddies because Lord Ryu himself noticed you were missing, and I’m not going back without you. Your friend can have her own baby. It’s what women do!”

“Women and pigs,” I said, looking him straight in the eye so that he would not be able to dodge my meaning.

He tried to slap me, but he was awkward and missed. I grabbed his hand and pulled it down to his side sharply. He was so taken aback by my boldness that his eyes bulged out, making him look more like a toad than ever. At that moment, Tami loosed a horrible scream and howled my name. The man jumped. “May the gods have mercy!”

I dug the fingers of both hands into his shoulders so close to the neck that it looked like I was throttling him. “Do you know who I am?” I demanded, eyes blazing.

“You’re Lady—Lady Hi—you’re Himiko,” he stammered.

I felt him shudder and tightened my fingers. He was a grown man and could have broken my grip on him easily, but I was using more than my hands to hold him.

“Do you know
what
I am, as well?”

“Y-you’re the Matsu princess Lord Ryu rescued from the
oni
.”

I rolled my eyes in disgust. “I’m sure that’s what
he
says. Your Lord Ryu spits on one truth and hides another: I am a princess of the pine clan, but I am also a shaman, and I can call the spirits of
that
girl’s pain”—without letting go of my shivering captive I tossed my head to indicate the interior of
our house, where Tami lay—“and have them bring it home to you!”

“You can’t—you can’t—you can’t—” He could barely get the words out of his mouth.

“Do you want to find out? Because if you do, know this: once I cast that spell, I can’t undo it. Her pain will not end until she gives birth, and
neither will yours
!”

Another shriek from Tami tore through the hot summer air. The Ookami man’s knees gave way, and he sagged toward me so abruptly that I had to let him go. He recovered his balance and took two steps back, raising his hands in a gesture that was part reverence, part surrender.

“Forgive me, Himi—my lady Himiko,” he said. “Please forget that I ever troubled you. I will pray to the gods that your friend enjoys a safe and speedy delivery, free from pain,
all
pain! I will return to Lord Ryu and tell him that I could not find you. I will see to it that his displeasure falls on me and me alone. I will—”

“You will bring me a knife.”

Tami’s son was big and healthy, with a thick head of glossy black hair. His lusty cries welcomed our housemates home that evening. Once I was satisfied that the new mother and baby were cleaned up and resting comfortably, I went to the cookhouse to bring back dinner. I knew that if I didn’t do that, no one would. They’d all be too enthralled by the baby.

Our newcomer had a vigorous appetite. Kaya became so fascinated watching him nurse that she forgot to put a single bit of food into her own mouth until I teased her about it.

“I’ll eat when you eat,” she grumbled, then caught sight of my empty bowl. “Didn’t you take
any
food, Himiko?”

“She started with as much in her bowl as you’ve got now,” Tami said.

“And it tasted awful,” I added, smiling. “But I think I could do with a little more.” I pretended to reach for Kaya’s portion.

Without a word, Kaya dumped half of her share into my bowl and fended off all my attempts to give it back. “I made a promise,” she said, volunteering no further details except: “You don’t cheat the gods.”

That night, I found my visions again. Sleep came sweetly to me, so deep and comforting that it was like sinking into a pool of honey. I was in the heart of a moonlit grove of willow trees, their supple branches sweeping the ground. Their long, slender leaves were filled with birdsong. Beyond the trees, a stream flowed past, its chuckling water glittering with the reflections of innumerable stars.

I turned slowly, taking in the beauty of the place. As I did, my contentment changed to unease as I became aware that the stream was not following an ordinary course but instead was a rushing circle enclosing the grove completely. I was about to make my way through the trees to the water’s edge when a longed-for voice called my name. The willow branches rustled and Reikon had me in his arms.

My beloved, where were you going?
he asked, his cheek pressed against my hair.
Why were you running away from me?

I wasn’t doing that, I protested. It’s just that
—I waved one hand at the encircling stream
—I wanted to see if there was
some way to cross that: a fallen tree trunk, some stepping stones, even a place where the water runs shallow
.

But why would you need to seek such things?
Reikon lifted my chin so that I could not look away from his astonished eyes.
We are together here, after too long a time apart, and I have prepared so many delights to welcome your return. Come and see
.

He took my hand and guided me back to the heart of the willow grove. The grass was spread with a silk cloth like a captive piece of summer sky and a multitude of laden dishes awaited us. My mouth watered at the sight of those delicacies. I sat down and reached for the nearest one, which held a savory-smelling stack of crisp-skinned trout, still smoking from the cookfire.

Reikon moved faster. He snatched the dish from my hand and began plucking bits of broiled fish from the bones and stuffing them into my mouth. He did not do it clumsily or brutally, and he never forced a new morsel on me until I had chewed and swallowed the one before, but there was still no escaping his determination to feed me. When I tried to stop him by stretching out one hand for a bowl of rice topped with vegetables, he took it and repeated what he’d done with the trout. It was the same with the next dish, and the next, until I could not bear it.

Reikon, please stop
, I begged.
I don’t need you to do this for me
.

But isn’t this what you prayed for?
he replied.
To be given help, because you could not help yourself?
He tried to feed me another pinch of rice.

I struck his hand away.
You’re mocking me! Is this some sort
of game you spirits play with mortals? Did it entertain you to hear me call out to you day after day while you stayed silent? And
now
is this your answer, after so long? This ridicule? Then I wish you had never answered me at all!

Reikon’s coaxing smile disappeared. His handsome face turned grave.
How could I answer you, when I could not recognize your voice? My beloved is a warrior who fights with heart and courage, a spear that strikes down cowardly oppressors, a shield to guard the innocent, and sometimes
—the image of the toadlike Ookami was a fleeting wisp in the air between us—
a knife
.

He took my hands and compelled me to stand, leading me to where the willow leaves grew so densely that I could not see what they concealed until he pushed them aside. What were those strange, round objects hanging from the branches? They looked like the work of some clumsy basket-maker who had taken dried reeds and plaited them too loosely. The results were hollow spheres with the open weave of a fishing net, none larger than ripe melons.

Then I saw the birds inside. The green shadows could not dull their bright feathers. I saw flutters of blue and red, orange and green, yellow and white through the pale, interlaced strips. Some of the tiny captives sang as though their world were still as boundless as earth and sky. Some battered themselves against the walls that held them prisoner. Some lay very still, dead or awaiting death.

I turned accusing eyes to Reikon, but all he said was:
Look more closely, my love
.

Mistrustful, I drew closer to the burdened branches. I gazed past the cages that held struggle and surrender until I found the only one that held … nothing. The round,
woven walls were empty. A tuft of blue feathers wedged between two of the wider-spaced slats was the sole hint that this cage had ever contained a prisoner. On a twig far above my head, a tiny, sky-bright bird filled the grove with a song of victory.

She could not beat down the walls around her, so she did not try
, Reikon said softly.
She could not submit to imprisonment, so she did not give up. She set her heart on watching for what she
could
accomplish, and when she saw that there was a place where she could wriggle through the bars, she did it. Her song remains her own. If she sings it for us now, that is her choice
. He touched my forehead with his lips.
She did not wait for me to open her cage
.

A breeze stirred the willow branches, making the cages bob and dance. I moved like a sleepwalker, taking each one down and cracking it open. The birds took flight, even the ones I thought were dead. The grove filled with song and the glorious sound carried me from vision to waking. I lay on my bedroll, staring up at the roof of our house, still seeing the marvels of the spirits’ realm.

“She did what she
could
do,” I whispered to myself. My heart beat like the wings of the birds I had set free.

“Huh? Did you say something, Himiko?” Kaya’s muffled voice brought me all the way back to our own world.

I edged closer. “I said that tomorrow night you’re going home.”