Spirit's Chosen (11 page)

He did not get the chance.

“Well, how about it? You heard Himiko!” Kaya’s strong voice smashed the momentary hush. “Come on, be sensible. Do you honestly believe her mother’s a willful murderer? You’d have to be blind or a fool or—”

“This is not your business, girl.” Lord Hideki spoke through gritted teeth. Kaya’s unwise words had turned his doubt to cold rage.

“That shows how little you know,” she countered. “Himiko is more than a friend to me: I count myself her sister just as surely as if we were born to the same parents. If she dies, I will die with her!”

I seized her arm. “Kaya,
think
about what you’re saying,” I said urgently.

She ignored me, still intent on Lord Hideki. “Listen to me well, old man: I
will
live or die as Himiko’s sister, but if I do die, it will also be as a chieftess’s daughter! My mother, Lady Ikumi of the Shika, will hear of it, and she will avenge my death against all of you! If Himiko’s mother dies, I will go hand in hand with my sister, my friend, into the darkness, but we won’t wait long before every one of you comes down that same path after us!”

Kaya finished her speech on a note of triumph. It did not last long. Lord Hideki growled an order and my friend found herself set upon by a group of our strongest remaining men. She fought them fiercely, but soon found her hands lashed together before her and her arms bound tightly to her sides. When she tried to kick at one of her captors he tripped her, and several loops of cord were wrapped around her ankles.

Master Michio was livid. “This is unspeakable, Hideki!” he exclaimed. “This young woman is our guest!”

“Not for much longer. She’s arrogant enough to think her threats will make us bend our necks to her orders. She needs to be sent back home and learn manners.”

“Send me home like this and you’ll see what my clan does about it!” Kaya shouted, thrashing futilely on the ground. I knelt at her side to help her sit upright. “One more battle will finish you!”

One corner of Lord Hideki’s mouth lifted slightly. “Even if you are their princess, I doubt that the Shika will go to war for the sake of one girl’s humiliation, especially since you brought it on yourself. Ah, Lady Kaya, I take no pleasure in that thought. What made so much foolishness spill from your lips? A momentary madness?”

“A momentary madness?” I echoed, standing up. “Is that how you see this, Lord Hideki? Then why can’t you see my mother’s case in the same way? Have you never once lost control of your actions because of overwhelming anger or grief? Have you never … never …”

“Never …”
An uncanny feeling came over me. As I spoke, the sound of my words began to change, to become something … visible: a wisp of fog, a twinkle of sunlight, the ghostly face of a lovely woman. Her lips moved, and the words flew from my mouth to hers, each one building on the last, forming her hair, her neck, her shoulders, her arms, and every part of her body down to her small bare feet.

“Never … never … never … you never stopped loving me, Hideki, not for a day, not for a moment, not for a single breath, not even after I died. You loved me better than yourself, and yet there were times when some irritation or problem or trouble made you bellow hurtful things at me. You were sorry afterward, when you were calm again. You begged me to forgive you, and when I did, you said you didn’t know why I wasted mercy on a witless creature. How did I answer you then, beloved? Tell me what I said to you, my only love.…”

The apparition faded and I found myself looking into
the old noble’s ashen face as he spoke: “You said … you said
‘Mercy is never wasted,’
Haru.” He covered his face with his gnarled hands and began to weep. We all watched as he turned from us and walked away.

In the stunned silence following his departure, I became aware of my clanfolk’s solemn gazes shifting to me. “What is it?” I asked. “What do you want? I don’t know what came over Lord Hideki or why he called me by that name. Who is Haru?”

“Haru was Lord Hideki’s wife,” Master Michio said. “I was still living in this village when they married. He adored her, but she died too soon and he never took another bride. All this happened long before you were born. You never knew her, yet when you spoke to Lord Hideki just now, it was her voice we all heard. That is, all of us here who are old enough to remember the sound.” He took my hands and squeezed them gently. “She spoke through you, Himiko. Not even I have been given so much power over the spirits of the dead.”

I drew my hands from his grasp and went to untie Kaya’s bonds. No one stopped me, but no one helped me, either. The knots were tight and complex; it took me some time to loosen them. I worked in silence. I could not find an adequate way to respond to what Master Michio had just told me. I could not believe what had happened to me.

The silence was everywhere. The only sounds I could hear were the stirring of a breeze through dead grass, the barking of a dog somewhere in our village, the distant cries of birds, summoning the springtime. Even Kaya was mute
and stiff. My strong-willed, independent friend was not even able to look me in the eyes steadily. What had I become?

When the last cord fell from Kaya’s wrists, we stood up together. Every face around me was a mask of awe. Only Master Michio had the ability to bring the Matsu back from that awful stillness.

“May the gods witness what I say,” he intoned, raising his palms. “I speak without a chieftain’s authority, but pray I have a chieftain’s wisdom. I will not condemn an entire family to die because only one of them attempted to commit a grave crime.”

Most of the people murmured their agreement, but a rumble of objection sprang up among the men surrounding my mother, most of whom were clan elders, noblemen who had served Father as counselors in happier days. One of them shouted: “So that’s how things will be from now on? Our laws will be kicked aside because of some shaman’s deception? Some of us remember how things were when Lady Tsuki reigned! She had a way of calling up the dead when it served her. Even then, I wondered if she
really
had such power, but I thought I was too young to dare question her. And what use would one lad’s protest have been, when she had our whole clan too scared to raise a whisper against her?”

His speech conjured up small ripples of discontent here and there among our clanfolk. Like the outspoken guard, many of them recalled Lady Tsuki. My chieftess-shaman aunt was long dead but still infamous for having used her otherworldly powers to intimidate the people. The stares directed at me became hostile.

Another one of our nobles spoke up: “The Ookami took everything from us, but at least they let us keep our customs, our
heritage
, given to us from the time this land was new! If we deny them, we deny ourselves. If we abandon them over a girl’s trick, we dishonor our ancestors and tempt the displeasure of the gods.”

The crowd buzzed with fresh muttering. My opponents accused me of trying to terrify the people, yet they were doing just that themselves. If Master Michio spared my mother’s life, there was a chance that our clan would rise up against him and carry out their own judgment. They might hold back from enforcing the cruel full measure of the law, but there was no guarantee of that. At the very least, they would make Master Michio suffer for having taken a stand against them.

I can’t let that happen
, I thought.
Not to Mama, not to Master Michio. If I let my people shed innocent blood, then the gods themselves will condemn them to a murderer’s fate. No. Never. By my life, with the spirits’ help or without it, I will not let that be
.

“My lords!” I called out, opening my arms to all my people. “I swear before you that what happened here was not my doing and certainly no trick. I know as little as you do to explain what happened. Yes, I have walked in the realm of the spirits, but I never once tried to summon the dead. If I do possess that power, I give you my sacred and binding oath that I will never misuse it in Lady Tsuki’s fashion. I have not served you as a shaman for very long, but even so, have I ever used my skills except to help you?”

The unfriendly tone of the whispers softened. My clan knew I spoke the truth, but most of them were still afraid
to take my side. The seed of their fear was planted deep:
Deny the law, and you dishonor the ancestors. Dishonor the ancestors, and you displease the gods. Displease the gods, and you doom the Matsu
. I would have to work hard to root out such a deadly weed.

“I do not tell you to discard our customs,” I went on. “I only ask that we follow their guidance with mercy and understanding. When you are gripped by a fever, can you control it? Can you compel your body to stop burning and trembling? Then you must understand how it is with my mother: She cannot control the madness that has made her ill from the day the Ookami stole her little son. Were our ancestors heartless? They would feel pity for her grief, her shattered heart, her tangled mind. If we fail to show her the same compassion,
that
is how we truly dishonor their spirits. If we do not show mercy now, why should the gods ever grant mercy to us?”

I lowered my arms. My whole body wanted to shake, but I forced myself to stand firm and keep gazing steadily into the eyes of the clan elders in charge of my unhappy mother. These were men who had seen me grow up from a nursing infant to a boisterous child to a friendless girl. I had tugged on their whiskers and made them laugh when I grasped their fingers with small, sticky hands. They might never accept me as their equal in authority, but I needed to make them hear me speak as someone worthy of their respect. Standing there, waiting, I overheard many whispers telling me that my words had moved many of our clan, but they were from commoners, accustomed to let the nobles
guide their lives. I had to make these elders see things my way. I had to hold my ground.

The old men looked away from me and began to confer intently among themselves. One of them beckoned Masa and spoke to him briefly. I wanted to sing with joy when I saw my older brother nod, then kneel to pick up Mama and carry her away.

They heeded me! She’s safe! Thank the gods, she’s—!

My elation was not to last. In Lord Hideki’s absence, the most venerable of the remaining nobles took charge. “We will speak with Lady Himiko and Master Michio privately,” he declared. “The rest of you may leave. There is plenty of work awaiting your hands.”

“But what about Master Michio’s judgment?” one woman called out. “We want to hear it!”

“You will be summoned to hear it when it has been determined. You have spent too much time in idleness already. Go!” He made a sweeping gesture and, true to the way they had always lived, my people submitted and obeyed.

The nobles and I followed Master Michio into his house. He did not look happy with the way things were proceeding, but his displeasure was nothing next to Kaya’s when she was told she could not accompany me.

“This is Matsu business,” the leading elder told her curtly as he barred her entry.

“But Himiko is—!” she began.

“Yes, yes, your sister in all ways except the only one that counts. Wait outside or go elsewhere.”

“It’s all right, Kaya!” I called to her. “Yukari will need
your help at home.” My friend made a face, but gave in, grumbling loudly as she stamped away.

I had never seen Master Michio’s house filled with so many people. The elders were acting as if this were their first time visiting the shaman’s home. They reacted with suspicion and a touch of nervousness to everything they saw and wrinkled their noses at the concentration of unfamiliar smells. One by one they settled themselves on the floor, hands on knees, facing the two of us.

“Well, my lords?” Master Michio said gruffly. “You demanded privacy; you have it. Speak your minds.”

The leader raised one hand. “We are not here as enemies, Master Michio. Our goal is yours: to preserve and restore this clan, to give our kin renewed stability in a world that has suddenly turned upside-down and buried them.” His eyes shifted to me. “The Matsu are without a chieftain, so it is our responsibility as clan elders to guide them onto the right path. Our lives have become precarious; we cannot afford a single misstep. Lady Himiko is very eloquent for one so young and has earned our gratitude for her healing skills, but—”

“—but you are afraid that if you pardon my mother and her madness returns, the people will lose faith,” I finished for him. “They will claim it’s the gods’ vengeance on the Matsu for not keeping the customs of our ancestors.”

“Exactly!” The elder beamed with relief. “May the spirits be praised, you are a
sensible
girl after all! At last you see the wisdom of accepting what we
must
do about your mother.”

“I know very well what we must do about her.” I
forced myself to sound calm and in command. “We must heal her.”

“What!”

For an instant, the elder’s roar of outrage brought back hard-edged memories of Father when his blazing temper ruled our home. My first instinct was to cringe, then to do or say whatever it would take to douse those angry flames.

Then I regained control of myself. I was no longer a child, easily intimidated by an all-powerful grown-up. I was Himiko the healer, Himiko the shaman, Himiko the warrior who fought without spear or bow, yet won. I would win this battle; for my mother’s sake, I had to.

I stood up to the furious old man. “My lord, be reasonable. Even the most powerful shaman who ever lived could not heal anyone if she did not have the right remedy for the sickness. If you have a griping stomach and I give you plain water instead of
kihada
bark, you will not recover. My mother’s mind will be restored solely when we can give her the proper medicine.”

“By the gods, why didn’t you
do
it? What were you waiting for?”

I spread my hands. “We could not give her what we did not have. Unfortunately, the only source for her cure is far away from our village.”

“Ah, and with the winter weather there was no possibility for you to gather it, so you tried treating her with the potions you
did
have and hoped for the best, eh?” He was pleased with himself for puzzling that out.