Spirit's Chosen (6 page)

I smiled at him. “It would be an honor, Lord Hideki.”

It did not take long for Lord Hideki to bring us to his home, though it was not the same one he had inhabited
before the Ookami came. As a noble, he had enjoyed the grandeur of a house like ours, raised high on sturdy pillars. The place to which he brought us was one of the common pit houses, and one with a badly thatched roof. When he caught sight of my questioning expression, he shrugged and said: “My home was ruined. I was lucky that they didn’t order it burned as well as knocked to pieces and pulled down. I was able to rescue most of my belongings from the wreckage. I am living with my cousin until we can rebuild in the spring, if the gods allow it.”

Takehiko and I followed him into the small house. Lord Hideki’s cousin was a plump older woman who was usually one of the liveliest people in our clan. When we entered, however, she was still curled up in her bedroll, her whole body shaking with a bad cough. Her wheezing breath filled the house.

Lord Hideki clicked his tongue. “Poor woman. It will be a miracle if she lives to see the cherry trees bloom again.” He spoke quietly, so that she would not be able to overhear his pessimistic words.

I cocked my head in her direction and listened to the rasp and squeak as she inhaled and exhaled. “That doesn’t sound
too
bad,” I murmured for his ears only. “Master Michio has cured our clanfolk of worse coughs.”
And so have I
, I thought, recalling all of the times that my teacher had allowed me to be the one to diagnose his patients in secret and compound the medicines that made them well.

“Master Michio has more pressing matters than one old woman’s cough.” Lord Hideki was grim.

“Ah. The wounded.” I nodded. “How many?”

“Every house that is still standing holds at least one,” he told me. After an uneasy pause he added: “Except yours. But your roof shelters its own troubles.”

He motioned for Takehiko and me to stay where we were, in order not to disturb his ailing relative, and went into a corner of the house to seek the mourning garb he had promised me. When he returned with the hemp gown draped over his good arm, we went back outside.

I held the dress up to my shoulders. “This will fit me very well,” I said. “Thank you, Lord Hideki.”

“No thanks are needed,” he replied. “Only your pardon for having misjudged you so badly. Our world has been turned on its head, but that is no reason to treat one another unjustly.”

“Takehiko! Takehiko!” A little boy came running up to us. “Izo found a toad, a
big
one, and it’s only got one eye, right in the middle of its head! Come and see!”

My little brother looked up at me. “Can I go, Big Sister? Please?” He asked politely, but he was already trying to twist his hand out of my grasp and was pulling away from me.

“Go, but promise me you and your friends won’t torment the poor animal.”

He looked offended. “We’re only going to
look
at it.”

“That’s all right. Enjoy yourselves. Just make sure you don’t return home before finding me again. We left together and if we don’t come back together it will make your mama fret.”

“Oh, I’ll
never
go back without you, Big Sister,” he said,
his eyes like an owl’s. “I don’t want to be there alone.” With that, he and his friend ran off.

Lord Hideki’s eyes remained stony, but he managed a smile. “It is very good to see the children returning to their games, especially your little brother.”

“Everyone must know how things are for him at home now,” I said.

“We are all kin, all part of one clan,” the old nobleman replied. “This village is not large enough to hide many secrets.”

“Then why has nothing been done about it?” I demanded. “Why doesn’t Yukari take her son to live with her aunt until Mama is well again? The child is terrified!”

“She tried to leave once. Your mother ran after them, howling like a beast in agony and threatening to summon your father’s avenging ghost to destroy the whole clan if those two did not come home.”

“What ghosts could she summon? My mother is no shaman!”

He shrugged as well as he could with a wounded arm. “No one wanted to put that to the test. The council of nobles—those of us that remain—urged Yukari to go back, and she did. Maybe it was fear that convinced her, but I think it was compassion for one she loves. She did not witness what happened to your poor mother, but she was told all about it. A heart of iron would feel pity.” He gritted his teeth. “I should have killed them.”

“Lord Hideki?”

“Even with only one useful arm, I should have
tried
.”

No need to ask who he meant when he said
them
with so much venom.

“What good would that have done?” I hesitated to speak bluntly to the old warrior, but I felt the need to do so, and to take the consequences. “Your death would have been a useless sacrifice. Use your life to help my mother heal. She has lost her husband and two of her sons in battle. Her youngest is lost to slavery. If you died trying to avenge all that, they would still be gone, and her spirit would carry the fresh burden of losing a good friend.”

He sighed deeply and shook his head. “You were not there, child. You didn’t see what else they did to her; I did. I was wounded early in the battle and was brought back for Master Michio to bind my arm. He had just finished when we heard the roar as the enemy broke through the gates and overran our village. We ran outside to see what was happening and stood by, helpless, as they invaded your house and dragged everyone outside.

“The Ookami leader gloated over your family, taking a demon’s joy in telling them how your father had died. Emi burst into sobs, but your mother held herself steady. She spoke with wonderful dignity, telling that young monster, ‘When the time comes for your death, pray to the gods that you will die as well as my chieftain died today.’ Her words galled him to the bone; his face became a thundercloud. He wanted her tears, and when she refused to surrender, he took a step toward her, spear in hand, most likely intending to kill her where she stood. She met him eye to eye, unflinching, as great a warrior as your father ever was. But then …”

Lord Hideki bowed his head and rubbed his temples with his usable hand. It took him a few breaths before he could continue: “One of the wolf chieftain’s men who’d been rummaging through your house came out onto the platform crying, ‘Look at this, my lord!’ There was a wolf’s skull in his hands.”

I tensed. I hadn’t thought about that relic for ages. It was just another part of the furnishings of our house, a hunting trophy for which all three of my older brothers shared responsibility, each in his own way: the wolf was stalking Masa when Shoichi’s arrow grazed its shoulder to make it turn, only to have Aki give it the death wound. My family saw that skull as a proud reminder of hunting skills, but the Ookami would not view it that way. The wolf was their guardian spirit, and they would see the wolf’s skull as …

“Sacrilege,” I breathed.

Lord Hideki inclined his head in agreement. “The Ookami were infuriated. They began shouting for their chieftain to order all of your family put to death to atone for the crime. For one awful instant it seemed as if he was going to heed them. He ordered his men to tear your youngest brother, Noboru, out of your mother’s arms. She fought so desperately that it took two of them to do that, and two more to hold her back. He raised the skull above his head like a club, poised to strike the child down. May the gods spare me from the memory of your mother’s scream!” He uttered a shuddering sigh. “In that moment, her mind shattered.”

“But what about Noboru?” I cried, seizing his arm.
“Did Ryu—the chieftain—harm him?” Yukari had told me that my youngest brother was a slave, but what if she’d said so to shield me from worse news?

To my relief, Lord Hideki said, “Thank the gods, no, he did not hurt the child. I don’t think he ever intended to do so. The Ookami chieftain has a cruel streak in his spirit, but once victory was his, he did not use his power over us brutally.”

“Death and slavery and threatening to kill a child are not brutal?” I countered angrily.

My father’s old friend looked at me with weary eyes. “There are crimes that happen in the wake of war, Lady Himiko. You are too young and inexperienced to know about them, and I pray you never do. The Ookami chieftain ordered many evils against us—taking our food, taking our people—but he gave
other
commands. Our women …” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “Our daughters, our wives, our sisters, not one of them was touched by his men. He forbade it and they obeyed. He is young, but I could see that his warriors fear him. That fear was our good fortune. For that mercy, at least, we are grateful.”

“I see.” I bowed to Lord Hideki. “Thank you for this.” I held up the hempen garment. “I will put it on as soon as I find Takehiko and bring him home.”

This time my path through the village was a better one. My clanfolk saw me carrying the proper clothing for honoring the dead and no longer treated me coldly. Many of them left their chores to speak to me and express their sympathy for the losses our family had suffered. I was once more welcome among my kin.

As I looked for Takehiko, I thought about what the old warrior had said about Ryu’s unexpected act of kindness in keeping his troops from attacking our women. My own experience with the wolf lord had been different. When his father, Lord Nago, had come here to propose an alliance between the Matsu and the Ookami, it was my role to entertain Ryu while the chieftains talked. The handsome wolf prince took a fancy to me, but his attempt at courtship failed when it revealed his selfishness, arrogance, and cold heart. He reacted to my rejection by trying to force himself on me. I made him pay for that, but I had the sour feeling he remembered how I had humiliated him.

I pressed my hands to my sash. It hid a small figurine, a clay image of a woman whose arms encircled a golden stone. A woman … a goddess, the goddess who had appeared to me in a marvelous vision not so long ago, a goddess who held the sun, a goddess who held us all in her heart.

Was this your doing, lovely one?
I wondered.
If I had been here when Ryu attacked, instead of with the Shika clan, what would have become of me at his hands? I was spared that, but … was I spared for a greater purpose? Guide me, sweet lady! Let me find the path I am meant to climb and let me bring my people with me, to healing, to light!

I found Takehiko with three other small boys. “How did you like the one-eyed toad?” I asked.

“Stupid thing had two eyes after all,” one of the children replied sulkily.

I turned to my brother. “I must go home and change my clothing. Do you want to stay here and play with your friends? I’ll come right back.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, Himiko,” Takehiko said, dismissing me with a born lord’s grand manner. “I can go home myself when it gets dark. I’m no baby.”

“As you wish, Little Brother.” I made an exaggerated gesture of reverence and left him there. It was good to see him acting like an ordinary child, free of fear if only for the time being.

No one was in our house when I returned. Mama and Yukari must have had work to do elsewhere, perhaps helping our neighbors. I took a deep breath of the familiar smells of home and basked in the feeling of peace those walls now contained. Would it be asking too much if I begged the gods to let this sense of harmony last?

I removed my dress and put on the hempen gown, securing my wand and the image of the sun goddess carefully with my sash before venturing outside again. There was something I had to do, a promise I ached to keep, an oath I could not fulfill while minding Takehiko. This was my chance. My brother was safe with his friends, and in this chilly weather I doubted the children would leave the village to go exploring. Besides, if they tried, there were many watchful eyes on them, many hands poised to drag them back from danger. My clan looked after its children.

I was not a child. Someone might see me leaving the village and casually ask where I was headed, but no one would forbid me to go. That was good. I did not want to speak about my destination. I was afraid that if I named the place, I would break down into helpless tears.

There were many fresh graves in our clan’s burial ground; too many. Most were humble, but one stood out,
broad and high. A chieftain’s tomb must reflect his status. My father’s resting place was not as large as some of the others belonging to his ancestors, but its size was a testimony to the respect of his people. In the midst of their own grief, they had taken the time and given the labor to honor him. The beaten earth walls had the look of being cast up in haste by hands not used to this sort of project. Most of our strongest men were dead, wounded, or enslaved, so this tomb must have been the work of the very old, the very young, and the women. It was a monument to a leader who had been loved.

I laid my palms against the wall of my father’s tomb and whispered a farewell. There were two smaller tombs beside his, also freshly built and higher than most of the other grave sites. Was this where my brothers Shoichi and Aki lay?

Aki …
I closed my eyes and called out to his spirit.
Oh, my dear big brother, are you still near? Can you hear me? When I was on the homeward path I walked weighed down with sadness, dreading the moment I would have to tell you that your beloved bride, Hoshi, is dead. I thought that I had failed you when I could not heal her. I shrank from the thought of seeing your grief, but now … now I will never see your face again in this world. I can only hear your laughter in my memory. I reach for your hand, but all I touch is cold earth and empty air
.

“Aki!”
My shout was loud and piercing as the sound of rock striking rock. A flock of crows nested in a nearby stand of pine trees took wing at the sound, cawing hoarsely across the winter sky. “Aki! Father! Shoichi, hear me! I will serve your spirits with love. I will make the offerings to ease
your passage into the unknown lands. I will sing the spells and perform the dances to honor you. And always
—always
, I will carry your lives with mine, in my memory and in my heart.”