Spirit's Chosen (34 page)

His moment of triumph vanished. He had only one choice.

“I spoke poorly, Master Daimu,” he said, his voice harsh and brittle. “Stay.”

The Ookami shaman bowed his head. “That is my heart’s desire, Lord Ryu. I have eaten strange food and drunk strange water for too long, but at least my journey has taught me lessons of value gathered from those who serve the gods in other clans. I am happy to share these new ways with our people.”

“We do not need any new ways,” Ryu snapped.

“If that were so, we would still live as we did in the time before we knew the gods at all,” Daimu countered. “I have journeyed very far and I have seen clans even more prosperous than ours. Surely you cannot deny they are doing
something
to earn so much favor from the spirits?”

“I don’t know anything about that,” Ryu grumbled. “We can make our own good fortune. We are the Ookami, and—!”

“Yes, the wolves of the mountain. So you said.” Daimu’s charming, gently mocking grin gave the people permission
to titter softly at their pompous young chieftain. Then his whole manner changed. His smile vanished and he became a thundercloud bristling with bolts of lightning. “I know who we are, what we are, and what you have made us become. I know who I am too: your
shaman
! I walk the borderland between worlds, keeping the balance, calling on the gods for help and mercy, and keeping the ghosts of the vengeful dead at bay! You rule this clan and preserve our lives, but I choose the path that will earn us the blessings of the gods! It is not an easy path to find or follow. Do you want to take that task from me?” He plucked the sacred bronze mirror from his belt and thrust it within a finger’s span of Ryu’s face. “Then take it! Take it now, or stand out of my way!”

Reflected sunlight from the mirror lashed across the chieftain’s eyes. He staggered backward, dangerously close to the edge of the platform. Rinji gasped and rushed to seize Ryu’s arm before he could fall. His cheeks burned red with humiliation at being rescued. Rinji earned a glare for what he’d done, not gratitude.

“Calm yourself, Master Daimu,” Ryu said coldly. “Keep to your path and I will keep to mine. We will see which one gives better things to our people.”

“So be it.” Daimu put away the mirror and raised his hands. “If the new ways I bring home please the gods, let their blessing be a gift to our clan, but if the spirits are displeased, let their curse fall on me alone.”

Ryu showed his teeth. “Agreed.”

* * *

All that day, the Ookami settlement hummed with talk about the shaman’s return and his confrontation with Ryu. My chores took me out and about in the cold, but my ears burned every time I overheard someone mention Daimu’s name. Everyone was eager to discover how he would change the old ways.

They did not have long to wait. The very next morning, as I was serving breakfast, we heard Rinji’s timid voice come faltering through the cloth-hung doorway. “L-Lord Ryu? Lord Ryu, sir, would it be too much trouble to speak with you?”

The wolf chieftain frowned. “What does
he
want so early in the day?” he muttered. “Himiko! Tell him to come back later.”

I did as I was told, but when I stepped outside to greet Rinji, he looked as if he’d seen a demon. “Oh! You know? How—? Never mind. Do you have anything to bring with—? No, no, that’s a foolish question. All right, follow me.”

“Master Rinji, what are you talking about?” I asked.

Before he could reply, a heavy hand closed on my shoulder as Ryu surged out of his house and yanked me aside. “How long does it take you to deliver a simple message?” he snarled.

Rinji misunderstood that the chieftain’s words were meant for me. “My—my apologies, Lord Ryu. I will be brief. Himi—Lady Himiko is to come with me to the shrine.”

“Is this a joke?” Ryu’s eyes blazed. “It isn’t funny.”

Rinji shook his head violently. “It is what the gods want, my lord. Master Daimu told me so.”

“I do not believe that she is what the
gods
want,” Ryu replied, curling his lip. “Let your master amuse himself with some other slave girl. This one belongs to me.”

“No,” I said quietly. “I may be a captive of this clan, but I do not belong to anyone.”

“Shut your mouth, girl!” He raised his hand to strike me, but I was too quick for him and, with a scornful look, dodged the blow. He was about to try a second time but Rinji flung himself between us and dragged Ryu’s arm down.

“My lord,
please
!” he cried. He jerked his chin toward the ground. A crowd had gathered at the foot of the house ladder—a tiny crowd, but one whose members were watching Ryu’s every move with the highest interest. “They followed me here from the shrine,” Rinji murmured. “They saw Lord Daimu send me here and asked him what it was all about. He told them that among some of the other clans he visited in his travels, the spirits were happier to be served by a man and a woman together, and that you were the one chosen for the task.”

“Ridiculous.” Ryu shook off Rinji’s grip, but made no further move against me. “He made up that nonsense to excuse his own desires. If it’s truly the spirits who want a woman to wait upon them, let Daimu pick one of the female slaves already tending the shrine.”

Rinji blushed deeply. “He said it had to be Lady Himiko because—because only a chieftain’s daughter is worthy to approach the gods. I’m sorry, my lord, but …” His voice trailed away under the long, hard look Ryu gave him.

At last, the wolf leader broke the silence. “Very well. Take her. I will not oppose our
revered
shaman. He might
threaten to run away and hide again. But tell him that she is forbidden to enter this house or speak to anyone dwelling under my roof. If I must obey what he claims is the will of the gods, then
he
must obey the command of his chieftain.”

“Yes, Lord Ryu. Thank you, thank you.” Rinji hurried down the ladder, making frantic motions for me to come with him. The few people watching us chattered breathlessly among themselves.

As we walked to the shrine, Rinji spoke to me, but it was no true conversation. Every word he uttered was an apology. He begged my pardon for having failed to appreciate the help I’d given him in mastering the shaman’s art. He implored me to forgive him for the brusque way he’d ended my visits to the shrine just because I’d wounded his pride. He humbly asked that I set aside any ill will I might feel toward him for his part in what awaited me.

“And what might
that
be?” I asked sharply.

He was startled by the forcefulness of my question and the unshielded anger behind it. “Why—why, becoming Lord Daimu’s woman,” he stammered. “I cannot blame him for wanting you, but unless you want him too …” He bit his lip and seemed uncomfortable in his own skin. “I will be leaving the shrine. I cannot bear to live there, so close to you, when I know that he has the power to own what I could never—could never—” He shuddered. “But I will always be a friend to you, Lady Himiko, if Master Daimu allows it.”

I stared at him, unable to believe what I was hearing. “Master Rinji, we were friends, once. You wanted more than that and I did not.
I
made that choice and no one else will
ever make such choices for me. I will fight to defend my right to choose—with my words, my strength, my prayers, even with my life. If you want to be my friend again, I would welcome that, but it must be
your
choice, not something that depends on Master Daimu’s permission.”

He turned his face from me. “You think I’m a coward,” he said bitterly.

“I didn’t say that. I know it isn’t easy to be strong, not for anyone, but—”

“Then you pity me.” He looked me in the eyes and for an instant I saw such a look of anger that it was like a blow to the chest. “Keep your pity,
Lady
Himiko,” he said, and sealed his lips for the rest of the way to the shrine.

He left me at the foot of the ladder. I climbed it to find one of Master Daimu’s female servants awaiting me. “Welcome back, Lady Himiko,” she said with a warm smile. “I am Ashi. Let me show you to your room.”

She brought me to a private sleeping chamber with a single bedroll. There was nothing in it aside from a new dress, a belt, and a few hair ornaments. I turned to Ashi and asked, “Where does Master Daimu keep his belongings?”

The older woman was taken aback by the question, but recovered quickly. “In his chamber, of course. He is a very tidy man.” She picked up the dress and shook it out. “May I help you change, Lady Himiko?”

I moved in a daze while Ashi took my old, soiled garment and slipped the new gown over my head, though I did retain the presence of mind to conceal my wand and my amulet until I could tuck them back into the folds of my new sash. This was not what I had been expecting. After all
of Ryu’s ugly insinuations I was certain I would be forced to share Daimu’s quarters. I wished I could have enjoyed the feeling of clean clothes and having my hair being put up in neat loops again, but I did not know whether to be relieved or to be even more on guard.

Daimu had me
brought
here, as if I were no more than a bale of rice
, I thought fiercely.
He thinks he owns me, so there’s no need for him to rush anything. He feels that he can wait
. My expression was grim and determined.
May the gods witness my words: he is going to wait
forever!

Once she had my hair properly arranged, Ashi said, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Lady Himiko? I know you are a little familiar with the shrine from the days when you came to help Master Rinji, but there is a difference between living here and only visiting.”

“Where is Master Daimu?” I asked.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know. As soon as he sent Master Rinji to fetch you, he told the rest of us that he was going out because he wanted you to become accustomed to your new home without any distractions.”

This is
not
my home
, I thought.
And it never will be
.

Although I told Ashi that I did not need anything more from her, she would not leave my side.
Is she my new guard?
I mused.

One of the other female servants brought me food and drink. She and Ashi served me and cleared away my dishes, but did not eat in my company. When I invited them to do so, they shook their heads. “Slaves don’t eat with their masters.”

“Slaves don’t own slaves, either,” I said. They didn’t
know how to react to that and coped by claiming they weren’t hungry.

Daimu came home in the early winter twilight. I was helping Ashi sweep the shrine floor, in spite of her constant protests, so he found us arguing while we worked. When she saw him, she exclaimed, “I’m so sorry, Master Daimu, I tried to stop her, but she insisted!”

He smiled. “I’m sure she did.”

“I’ll bring your dinner right away,” the older woman said, and scurried off, leaving the two of us alone.

“Welcome, Lady Himiko,” Daimu said, keeping his distance. “Have you had a good day?”

“No.” I bit off the word short and pursed my mouth.

“Really?” He tilted his head. “What has displeased you? Your room? Your clothing? The food? I want you to be content here.”

“Then you’re going to be disappointed.”

Daimu met my flinty expression with regret. “I understand, Lady Himiko. You want to be free. If I could grant you that, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

“I want more than
my
liberty, Master Daimu. If my people are slaves, I am not free.”

“You mean your family? I was told that your stepmother and two of your brothers are with us. I could try to—”

“I mean my
people
,” I repeated. “My clan should not be in bondage to yours.”

“Who should?” he asked softly. “In my travels I have seen many clans who live on the labor of their war captives.” He sighed. “I grew up with this way of life. It should be natural to me, yet somehow I cannot accept that it is a
good
way.”

“But you still own slaves,” I pointed out. “Six of them.”

“They served my teacher, Master Ku, and are a part of the shrine. I do not have the power to free them, only to send them away. That would place them in the hands of other masters. At least if they remain here, I can see to it that they are well treated. Slavery runs deep into the life of many clans, including the Ookami, like the taproot of an oak. One person cannot pull it from the soil.”

“Then he should break off a branch,” I said. “Or a twig, to show that he
wants
to make a difference in the way things are. Anyone can
talk
about changes.”

He stepped closer to me. “I wish I could do more, Lady Himiko. For now, I can only promise to think about your words. Meanwhile, how can I bring back your smile? When we met, you did not look at me so coldly.”

“When we met, I thought you had a kind heart.” I restored the original distance between us. “You saw me dance for the spirits and treated me with the respect one shaman owes another. But today you let me know that you see me as nothing more than a slave among slaves; property, not a person.”

“How can you say such a thing?” He was genuinely distressed. “I brought you here to save you from that sort of treatment in Ryu’s house.”

“That’s not the tale others tell about why you ordered me here.”

He grasped my meaning at once and the harsh shock it gave him was plain to see. “You mean Ryu. I expected him to spit poison when he lost his hold over you, but I didn’t think you would take his words seriously.”

“Was he wrong?” I wanted to believe it, but stubbornly held on to my doubts.

“I’ve given you your own room here, and two of the women here will attend you constantly. You will never be alone with me.”

I cast my eyes to either side. “We are alone now.”

“For the last time, I swear.”

“My attendants are your slaves. You can command them to leave us whenever you like.”

“In that case, I will have to find other ways to prove the truth: that the sole reason I brought you here is to serve the gods.”

“Maybe you’d better find a way to let your clan know that,” I said. “Ryu won’t be the only person to claim you took me under your roof to please yourself, not the spirits. Remember, sometimes it’s not enough to tell the simple truth; you must make it convincing. If the people think you use the gods as an excuse for your own desires, they will lose their respect for you as a shaman.”