Authors: Miss Merikan
It was like a match to the gasoline
streaming through Asty’s veins. She turned around and kicked down the metal
table, sending all the torture tools flying across the floor. “What the fuck is
wrong with you? You can fuck and sleep all year if you want! How dare you touch
him? You know shit, and you won’t listen to anyone!” she yelled, moving her
gaze between her father and his VP.
Priest swore beneath his breath, as Tooth
sent her a punishing glare and started releasing Hunter by taking the metal
contraption out of his mouth.
“You want to tell me something, Astaroth?”
Priest asked and clenched his fists. “You’ve been lying to me all this time.
What did you think was going to happen, huh? This piece of shit knocked you up,
and you’re defending him now, after he wouldn’t own up to his own kid? Just
yesterday, I found a photo of you and him on the Internet. It was published
three months ago. And now you’re pregnant, and he wants nothing to do with it,”
Priest spat at the floor.
Asty stared at him and suddenly burst out
with an angry laughter. “I told you not to look for the father. How is that a
difficult concept? Look behind me and ask yourself why I didn’t want to tell
you anything. I didn’t trust you with this, and turns out I was right!”
Priest pursed his lips and chewed on her words.
“This psycho cuffed you to a hotel bed,” he grumbled, and behind him, Hunter
slowly slid off the medical chair.
“I can explain …” Hunter whispered.
Asty shook her head. “That’s our business.
You have nothing to do with this. I’m fucking through with you policing me like
that when you’re busy fucking Jewel after Mom’s only been dead for a few
months!”
Priest’s face went red. “That bitch should
keep her mouth shut!”
Asty shook her head. “She didn’t tell me. I
put two and two together,” she hissed and shook her head at him. She was going
to be sick. “You should have kept it in your pants. Just like you should have
done that when you cheated on mom with Lucky’s mother,” she uttered, suddenly
tearing up. She couldn’t possibly remember that time, but it had left a rift in
their family that lasted to this day.
Hunter came closer under the scrutiny of
Dad’s hateful glare. “Asty, please don’t cry. I really wanna hold you, but
there’s glass everywhere.”
Asty looked at him, and when she saw the
shards sticking out of his flesh, she couldn’t take it anymore and broke into a
deep sob, gently brushing her fingers over the front of his jacket. Her gaze
returned to Dad’s face. “How could you do this to him? You wouldn’t even ask me
what I thought about all this?”
“Told you it was a fucking bad idea,” Tooth
muttered, watching them with his arms crossed on his chest.
Asty sniffed again and brushed tears out of
her eyes. “You have no right to judge him ... Lucky’s mom killed herself after
you left them ... he told me all about this ... you were never there for him
when he was young, and now you’re beating up my man when I told you I didn’t
need any help?”
“She didn’t kill herself because I left
her. That happened much later,” Priest mumbled, stepping back. “I’m not good
with all this ‘talking about our feelings’ bullshit. I thought he hurt you …”
“Well, you were wrong,” whimpered Asty,
sobbing even harder. She couldn’t even hold Hunter when they both needed it so
much. “You’re the one who hurt so many people, and you already forgot about my
mom ...”
Priest straightened up and looked into her
eyes. “I loved your mother to her very last breath. But I’m not made of stone,
I needed company.”
“Is that why you’re never at home and then
come over to tell me what to do with my life? I need company too!”
Priest tried to grab her hand, but she
pulled away. “I’m trying, baby, but I’m not so good at this. You’ve been so
distant. I don’t know how to talk to you sometimes.”
Asty chewed on her lip and brushed the heel
of her hand against her eyes. “I know you must miss Bell so bad. But I’m not a
little girl anymore. You can’t expect me to just listen to what you tell me to
do. You can’t invade my life like that. You can’t just beat people up...”
“Can we go upstairs and have a civil
conversation there?” Hunter looked at his hand and winced. “I came here tonight
for an important reason, and I’m not going anywhere until we talk it over.”
“
Civil conversation
.” Priest huffed
and turned for the stairs. “Maybe you shoulda thought about that before you
knocked up my daughter.” At least he wasn’t throwing punches anymore.
“Dad, I
wanted
to get pregnant, so
stop blaming him for it,” hissed Asty, ignoring Tooth’s face when he frowned at
her. Of course, they would be surprised, but she needed to clear Hunter’s name
somehow.
“I’ll stay and clean up here,” Tooth said,
and Asty could sense just how badly he didn’t want to get involved in all this,
but after beating up her boyfriend and strapping him to a dental chair, he
would not be getting a free pass.
“Tooth, he needs help. You put all those
shards into him, and someone needs to remove them,” she said, knowing Tooth had
enough medical knowledge to deal with that and steady hands. Something she
didn’t possess at the moment with her fingers trembling like baby chickens.
Since Dad didn’t even answer her last
sentence, she shook her head and glanced straight at Tooth, who eventually gave
her a “Fine.” At least he didn’t try to explain himself.
Hunter moved slightly closer to her and
looked into her eyes with an infinity of worries, even though it was
his
face that was bruised. “You know we will need to have an even harder talk with
your dad, right?”
Asty rubbed her face and held on to his
jacket, not sure where the waves would throw her now.
Asty felt like a helium balloon with dozens
of holes that was now propped against the chair, with life slowly seeping out
of it. Hunter told it all, minus the details of how they met and who else was
involved, but he mentioned everything she told him about the ritual, about the
life she wanted for the baby.
She was so tired after the stress of that
day, so angry with herself for handling things so badly, but she couldn’t find
even a bit of anger at Hunter in her heart. She knew he meant well. He loved
her and was worried for her safety and for the safety of the unborn baby. He
wished for a future for all three of them, and she was torn, because when she
looked at him so bruised and battered, she couldn’t help but want to be selfish
and stay with him. Defy Mom’s wishes and think of her own happiness.
Tooth listened to it all without a word as
he methodically pulled out pieces of glass out of Hunter, cleaned the wounds,
and applied bandage where needed. But as Hunter talked, his deep voice
faltering at times due to the pain, Asty stopped looking at Dad. She didn’t
want him to know all this. He was clearly as lost as she was after Mom’s death,
and he shouldn’t have to know the truth behind her actions, but there it was.
He’d now know why she decided to get pregnant with a man she didn’t know. He’d
know of the things she did to her body, of her plans for the future, and of
Mom’s secret notebooks.
“So in my mind, as a Satanist yourself, I
hoped you could shed new light on this matter for Astaroth,” Hunter finished,
wincing when Tooth’s tweezers dug deeper into his hand. Hunter had taken off
his jacket and sat in just his T-shirt so that Tooth could have a more thorough
look at him.
The one thing Asty hoped for as she was
exposed by Hunter’s words was that at least Dad would see what good intentions
Hunter had toward her.
Priest stayed silent for a long moment, his
face as if carved in stone. In the end, he got up, walked around the desk, and
pulled up a chair to Asty so that he could sit closer.
“I’m a Satanist, but that’s only a name. I
thought you knew this, baby.” He grabbed Astaroth’s hand so gently in his thick
fingers. “I don’t believe in demons, hell, or heaven. I’m not even a member of
the Church of Satan, because I don’t agree with some of their philosophy. I
have my own code of rules, and I have always encouraged you and Bell to do the
same. To not give into superstition, to think rationally and ask questions.”
Asty exhaled. She knew all this. But
whether Dad’s personal code of conduct was something to follow, she wasn’t
sure, considering it allowed him to brutalize Hunter. But she nodded and slowly
looked at him.
“Your mother on the other hand … She …”
Priest squeezed Asty’s hand. “I never told this to you and Bell, as we agreed
on that with Dolly, to not distress you. Your mother was living with
schizophrenia. She started being ill after she had Bell. That was why we waited
such a long time between our two children—the doctor wouldn’t let her go off
the drugs for a while. Most of the time, she took her meds and was doing really
well, but at her worst, she was like a different person. She believed demons
talked to her, that she knew what the future holds, that she is awaited in
hell.” Priest had to take a deep breath and close his eyes for a moment before
looking back at Asty again. “I loved her like a madman, and I think that her
personal rituals were good for her, like a time for meditation. I meditate,
too, from time to time, but I don’t really believe I’m talking to Satan. It’s
about reflection, and soul searching. What I do can cause some serious fucking
mental strain, and that’s how I deal with it.”
Asty choked on her own breath and gently
squeezed Hunter’s forearm, which now felt like the steadiest thing in the
world. Schizophrenia? Her mother was ill, and she never knew? “But ... how did
we never notice?” she uttered, completely out of her depth. Her mother had
always been such a calming presence in her life, always there to listen and
offer her guidance.
“Remember that time when we sent you both
to summer camp out of the blue? Or when your mother went to a spa sometimes,
and you wouldn’t be allowed to go with her?” Priest raised his eyebrows.
“Schizophrenia can be inherited by children, and she was very scared that even
knowing about it could trigger it in you or Bell. She loved you both very
much.”
Asty bit on the inside of her cheek and
clutched the bottom of her dress, her chest so tight it was difficult to
breathe. “This is so horrible ...” she uttered, shivering at the thought of Mom
only having one person’s support all that time. Asty could have been there for
her if she had known.
Dad sighed and entwined his thick fingers.
“So those notebooks she filled up in hospital … She needed to stop taking the
psychiatric medication through chemo, and then in her last weeks, she didn’t
even want them anymore, and I hoped it could help her last longer if she didn’t
ingest any other drugs, so I wouldn’t try to change her mind. Asty … baby, I
know it’s hard to take in, if you’ve been reading into those notebooks so much,
but they’re gibberish. The product of an ill mind. Your mom would never want to
push you into something like this.” Dad’s voice trembled, and he went silent.
Asty rubbed her face, shaken to the core.
If Dad was right, then all her attempts, all the sacrifice was for nothing. All
of a sudden, it was hard to breathe, and she squeezed Hunter’s forearm. So she
slept with two random guys for no reason? If this was true, then she really had
been putting herself in danger. “B-but ... when she talked to me, she made
sense. When she talked about our family, she made sense ...”
Despite the bandage on his hand, Hunter
still let their fingers entwine and squeezed hers gently.
Priest nodded. “Of course, she wanted it
all to be true. She was facing death and was delusional. I know that to you she
was a hero, but she was only human. She believed in all those things, did the
rituals, and she still got schizophrenia, then cancer, and still died. And you
know what? I would also like to believe that there are demons guarding me, that
I will live on forever in a sacred place in hell, and that … and that one day I
will meet Bell and Dolly there. But I don’t. It’s not an easy thought,
but in a way, it makes life all the more precious. To take your life because of
some fantasy belief would be a sin against yourself. A lot of people who call
themselves Satanists actually have different definitions of what’s right or
wrong. Some believe that it’s a person’s right to take their own life, some
believe that you shouldn’t, but what makes your possible choice so painful, is
that it’s rooted in self-deceit. Just because you want something to be true
doesn’t make it true. If you find a way to contact demons, and are able to
prove their existence, then at least this choice would make sense in some kind
of way, but right now, you need to take a good hard look at your actions and
beliefs. And I can’t tell you exactly what to do. You need to work it out
yourself, Asty. You like charming candles, you like reading tarot cards, these
are not essentially wrong to do if they help you in this way or another, but
what I have heard is hurtful. You hurt your body for this belief.”
Asty didn’t even bother brushing away tears
that were slowly rolling down her cheeks and falling to her lap. Her heart hurt
so bad listening to this. This once, Dad felt sincere. As if he were talking to
her, not
at
her. “I did it for you,” she whispered, staring at her feet.
“You miss Bell so much, and he was taken so early ... Lucky needs you, and the
club needs you … you need support.”
Priest squeezed her hand harder. “I do. I’m
not an island. But it means I need your support, too, Asty. Not from a phantom
of what I would like the world to be, but from the real people around me.
That’s what matters. I lost Bell, and if I lost you as well, after losing the
woman I loved for almost thirty years, I don’t know how I would cope.” He took
his eyes off her for the first time in a while and looked to Hunter. “So,
despite all the lies and deceit, thank you for bringing all this to my
attention.”
Hunter nodded, gently stroking Asty’s hand
with his thumb. “She’s the most important thing to me in the world. I’d rather
lose a few teeth than see her hurt.”
Priest sighed. “Yes, I hope we have the
tooth matter behind us.”
Asty pulled on her dad’s hand. He was
right. Even if Mom really held the key to the truth that would bring Bell back,
Dad would have been left alone to deal with all this. It was as if someone
popped a bubble around her. “I’m sorry. I thought you really wanted him back ...”
“I do. And I see where you’re coming from.
I understand your intentions, because I would give my life for his in a
heartbeat. But we can’t do that. It’s not how the world works. But there is
something I do believe.” Priest gave Asty a faint smile. “There is a part of
your mom that lives on through you. You are her flesh and blood, and mine.
Every time I look at you, I can think back to the years I spent with Dolly. The
good, the bad, the crazy fights, and bringing you two up together. If you died,
I would lose even that.”
Asty leaned forward and gave him a tight
hug, shivering from all the emotion bubbling up inside her. “I love you, Dad,”
she whispered.
“I love you, too, honey.” He hugged her
back, and in his big arms, she felt like a little girl again despite being
pregnant and twenty years old. “And I will love our new addition to the family,
and I will help you as much as I can, but you only have this one life, and you
need to make sure it’s a good one.” Priest pulled away slightly to look into
her eyes. “Sure, maybe I wasn’t all that helpful, with keeping too close of an
eye on your dating, but no matter what I believe, you’re still my little baby.
It’s not easy to let go of that, no matter how much I preach free love and
taking advantage of earthly pleasures.”
Asty laughed and shook her head. “I know,
but ... I promise I’ll ask you for help if I need it.”
Priest stroked her head and looked at
Hunter. “And for the record, I am also a firm believer in revenge, so if you
ever hurt my dau—”
Asty cleared her throat. “Dad, he’s not
gonna hurt me.” She looked up with a small smile, even though seeing all the
damage done to Hunter’s face made her want to cry all over again. “You won’t,
right? If you do, I’m gonna personally kill you with my ritual knife.”
Hunter smiled, but it must have hurt him,
because he instantly winced. “I know. You’re a dangerous woman.”
Asty grinned and looked at her dad again.
“And we’re gonna have a little boy.”
Priest pulled her right back in for a hug.
“Oh, Asty! That’s great news. Is he healthy? Is everything all right?” And for
the first time tonight, he smiled. “Hear that, Tooth? I’ll have a grandson.”
Tooth grumbled beneath his breath and
nodded. Asty sighed, knowing how uncomfortable he had to be with all this, but
she quickly answered her father’s question. “So far, so good. The doctor was
pleased.”
Hunter stroked the back of her arm with a
smile. “And I wanted to tell everyone that I’m the father as soon as I found
out. I don’t shy away from responsibility. But with Asty, it’s not just that. I
want this. I’ve always wanted to have a big family. And despite my jaw feeling
like it’s broken or dislocated, I like being a Nail. More than I ever liked
being a Hog.”
Asty took a deep breath and glanced at
Hunter. Her chest swelled with warmth when she looked at him. “And we’re
engaged.”
Hunter dared to smile again, and the way he
looked into her eyes made her feel like she was the only person in the room.
His gaze said “I love you” without Hunter uttering a word.
Priest’s eyes went wide, and he got up.
“This deserves a toast,” he said and walked up to a filing cabinet, only to
pull a bottle of vodka and shot glasses out of it. “It’ll take the edge off the
pain.” He winked at Hunter before looking at Asty. “Sorry, baby. No booze for
pregnant ladies.”
Asty rolled her eyes good-naturedly.
“Thanks, Dad. I can always count on you.”
Even Tooth snorted with withheld laughter
from his position over Hunter’s other hand.
*
Asty followed Hunter to his new bedroom
with a queen-sized bed and an en suite bathroom. She proudly opened the door to
the room, which was much larger than the one he’d been occupying. Those were
the perks of dating the boss’s daughter, she supposed. There had been many
pieces of glass in Hunter’s flesh, but he was bandaged where needed now, so she
could safely touch him again as they turned on the light. The room was rather
basic, like all the others, but the space was everything. There was no point in
going back to the hotel, especially after Hunter drank a few shots, but they sent
Prince to retrieve their things. She wasn’t happy about him handling her
vibrator, but she couldn’t do much about it.
Hunter pulled off his T-shirt on his way to
the bathroom, and his gait was slightly wobbly, but that didn’t take away from
the pleasure of watching his broad tattooed back.
“Are you okay, Asty?” he asked and turned
on the water in the bathtub.
She kicked off her shoes and slid in behind
him. Her fingers brushed over his back and moved to the front of his body as
she leaned against him. “Yes. I’m just so sad for Mom. But how are you? They
hurt you so bad ...”