Authors: Ashley Johnson
Chapter 3
It’s been two days since I caught Brad which consequently flipped my world upside down. Two days and I’m not sure how to really feel. Never in a million years did I think something like this would actually happen to me. I’ve managed to get a good night’s sleep staying here with Amber. I don’t have to worry about constant bickering and someone being judgmental over every little thing I do.
“Wakey wakey hands off snakey!!” Ugh, I can’t help but groan. Why the hell is Amber so chipper this morning?
“I don’t have a snake.” I groan before slowly raising my head. She’s all smiles; her dark brown hair is straightened with her bangs pinned back. What the hell? What time is it?
I reach for my phone to find several calls and texts from Brad. Geez really? No. This is not how this works at all. It’s almost 12:30 p.m., I gasp as I fly off the couch. I’m surprised she hasn’t slit my throat in my sleep. We have at least a good three hour drive ahead of us and I’m no where near ready.
She begins humming as she applies her make-up at the kitchen table. I take that as my cue to haul ass into the bathroom and get cleaned up. I scrubbed my skin for what seemed like hours trying to remove any particles that may still have traces of Brad on them. Once I’m satisfied, I let the water continue to run down my body as I think about that night I caught him, yet again. I know we seemed to have issues but I never would have imagined he would hurt me like this. I thought we were meant to be together, but I guess nothing lasts forever. He was supposed to be my happily ever after, instead he was the witch who fed me the poisonous apple. How can you possibly know who you will end up with when you’re a teenager?
I blow dry my hair in record time. Before I can think about straightening it, I hear Amber clear her throat which means I’m probably getting ready to be yelled at. Instead, I grab the mousse and scrunch my hair into waves before placing a headband in it. A little mascara later and I’m almost ready, I just need some damn clothes.
“Amber, what the hell am I supposed to wear? I didn’t grab many clothes from the apartment.” I’m agitated. I clearly didn’t think this through the other night.
“Follow me.” We step into her room where her gigantic walk in closet awaits us. She’s dressed in a blue jean skirt, a pink blouse and her cowboy boots. This is the kind of outfit Karlee used to wear when she would go to the rodeo.
“So this is what you’re wearing? It’s cute!” I tell her. I used to think people wore those dress shirts with snap buttons to rodeos, but apparently women don’t. Karlee showed me that two years ago. That night I wore a pair of blue jeans and a fitted button up shirt with the boots Karlee got me. Brad had eyeballed me when I tried a skirt on, I could instantly see in his eyes that he disapproved.
“Hope, you can dress however you want. I guarantee you I won’t be the only woman dressed like this. It’s hot outside and I want to be comfortable.”
She threw me another blue jean skirt of hers. My legs seemed to go on for miles in it. I put on the pair of cowboy boots that much to my surprise still fit perfectly, no wonder Karlee bought me these. Amber sifts through her closet before grabbing one of those blouses you don’t wear a bra with.
“Um, no I’m not wearing this, you can’t wear a bra.”
“That’s the point.” She smiled. Oh my, no. I can’t just have my girls on display like that. Not around a ton of people.
I crossed my arms over my chest, I’m not budging. “I’m not wearing that.” I reached past her in her closet and found a white lacy tank top that my tan seemed to compliment. “What about this?”
Amber stared me up and down for what seemed like an eternity before smiling, “That looks perfect!” I stared into the full length mirror in her room. She wasn’t lying. I looked amazing and for the first time in a while, I smiled at my reflection confidently.
I excuse myself so I can pee before we get ready to leave. I’m already feeling extremely anxious and I reach into my purse to pull out my Dramamine capsules. I don’t tend to get sick in the car on short trips like driving around town, but I usually work myself up unintentionally on long trips. If I’m not careful I’ll end up with motion sickness and I don’t want to ruin this trip for Amber or myself.
Now, we have to hurry and pack our bags for the hotel. I’m not sure why we just didn’t get ready there. “You have everything right? I’m not going to any stores. We’re checking into the hotel and then going to walk around before the rodeo starts.” Amber asks sternly. I nodded my head yes as I climbed into her passenger seat.
Twenty minutes up the road, “Get Your Shine On” by Florida Georgia Line comes on and Amber turns it up to a near deafening volume as we sing along. Ok this could totally be fun. The rest of the ride was just as eventful. Song after song, we sing our hearts out, thankful no one else could hear us. My throat was a little parched from pretending I’m the next American Idol. I grab the can of Diet Dr Pepper I have in the console and take a big long swig to quench my thirst. Our singing marathon has kept my thoughts Brad-free which is exactly where I need to be. Thank God for Amber, I don’t think I would be making it through this without her. A song I wasn’t quite expecting to hear because I’d avoided it at all costs for the past two years was “Breath” by Breaking Benjamin, one of Karlee’s favorite bands blaring through the speakers. She used to blast them at deafening volumes driving Mom and Dad absolutely nuts. I even set her ring-tone on my phone to that song and eventually I just silenced my phone altogether because Brad said it was nothing but noisy shit and was going to rot my brain. The night of the accident, I remember her blaring this song singing at the top of her lungs. I remember laughing at her thinking she was absolutely nuts but I sang along with her. Amber gave me a quick look realizing it was playing and I blink back a few tears. I need to do this for Karlee and for me. I smiled as I reached over for the volume knob and turn it up to where I can’t hear any of the thoughts in my head. I feel proud of myself for being able to listen to this song, especially while I’m on my way to the same place that caused all my pain.
When we finally pull up to the hotel, we’re both anxious to get out the car. My legs need to stretch. Amber walks inside the hotel and smiles politely, “I have a reservation under Amber White.” She looks at me giving a confident smile as the guy at the desk pulls up the reservation. Two card keys later, we are all set.
The room had two queen size beds that looked very comfortable. The flat screen TV is mounted on the wall above the small desk. The bathroom is rather small but the vanity area is decent. There is enough room for both of us to stand side by side and touch up our make-up. I check my hair one more time before deciding it’ll have to do.
Amber pulled a bottle of vodka out of her overnight bag. My eyes grew wide as she soon produced two shot glasses. Carefully she poured two shots and cleared her throat giving me the signal to grab one of them. “To a fun night as best friends. To new beginnings, and to Karlee.”
I manage to smile as I think about new beginnings. The night I caught Brad screwing another woman in our bed opened a new door for me. I’m nervous to find what is on the other side since all I’ve known for the past few years has been Brad. The thought of moving on is exciting but at the same time scary. People do it all the time so why can’t I?
“Hell yeah.” We clank the glasses together before shooting the vodka that seems to burn but taste good at the same time. “What kind is this?”
“Whipped cream flavored.” She smiled before placing the bottle back inside her bag. I grab my phone and place it in my back pocket along with the money I brought. “Wasn’t it so good?”
The arena hosting the rodeo is literally about two blocks away from the hotel. We walk which I’m not too sure about at first. The traffic is scaring the hell out of me and all I can see is the headline on tomorrow’s paper: ‘Stupid Girl Gets Smashed by Multiple Cars’. Ugh, don’t laugh it could happen! Houston traffic is a bitch.
The endless game of frogger seems to come to a complete stop when we’re standing next to the arena. A feeling of déjà vu hits me and I have to stop to blink my eyes. The smell of carnival food hits our noses and it takes a lot of will power to not get any of it. Knowing my luck, I’d drip grease on Amber’s shirt before the rodeo ever began and everyone would be staring at the spot.
There are vendor booths as far as the eye can see. Everything looks the same as it did two years ago; I’m not sure why I thought it would look any different. Amber and I browse through the booths looking at all the different shirts and jewelry. My mind races to Brad when I see a cute couple holding hands. I so badly want to run up to the girl and warn her he’s nothing but trouble, and to get out while she can…but I don’t. I mind my own business and let out a sigh.
“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re not having fun.” Amber stares at me incredulously.
“I’m fine.” I plaster a smile on my face trying to hide the obvious that I already know she can see.
“Get him off your mind Hope. He’s a fucking bastard. And it’s ok to be here Hope, I’m here ok? Everything is going to be fine. We’re going to be fine.” She pulls me in for a hug and I cling to my best friend for a moment. She understands and that means more to me than she could ever know.
“I know.” I sigh. I’m a complete hopeless mess all thanks to him.
The crowd is thickening around the shops and it almost feels like I can’t breathe. Amber and I are so close we are practically holding hands as we head to the entrance to grab our seats. I’ve never been happier to feel air conditioning in my life. This Texas heat was about to kill me. The crowd indoors is not much different from outside but at least the mass of bodies aren’t dripping with sweat.
Immediately the scent hits my nose and I scrunch it up trying to adjust. “It smells awful in here.” I groan.
“What did you expect? You’re at a rodeo, you’ve been here before. There are animals you know.”
Smartass Amber. I roll my eyes dragging her towards the concession stand line that looks about as long as the one was to get inside. I just want a beer, something to help drown out my stupidity. Why didn’t I see that my relationship with Brad had crumbled this much? Has he been screwing around all this time? Or was this the first time? Guess I’ll never know. I guess he’ll never really understand how he ripped my heart out. He probably doesn’t care though. No sooner the thoughts leave my mind, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out since I seem to be an idiot and see a text from him.
Brad: Baby, please talk to me. I fucked up, I know this. But I love you and it’ll never happen again. You have to believe me.
I draw in a deep breath fighting back the tears that are threatening to spill over and ruin my makeup. I normally wouldn’t care but I’m in public and Amber would kill me right here. I’ve yet to shed a tear since I’ve been here and if any tears fall they will be for Karlee, not for that asshole.
“Amber, how long is he going to keep texting me?”
“He texted you again?” I show her the phone and sigh. “He knows he fucked up obviously and he’s not going to take a hint so you might have to change your phone number.”
“I’m not changing my number.” I answer quickly. I refuse to alter my life anymore because of his fuck up.
“Then just ignore him, don’t give him the pleasure of seeing your name pop up.”
She’s right like always. I stuff the phone back in my pocket trying my best to pretend I didn’t see anything from him. The line has moved a little more and the idea of a beer is becoming more exciting to me. I want nothing more than to down it the minute I get it but I won’t. I’m going to savor every last drop.
“Excuse me ladies.” The voice comes from nowhere and I look around spotting Amber first with her jaw on the ground. She’s speechless, this never happens. My eyes roam to find what’s got her in a comatose state and standing right in front of us is a guy in Wranglers so tight it should be a crime and a baby blue dress shirt with those snap buttons. This guy is playing this cowboy part a little too seriously. His boots are even worn like they are the only pair of shoes he owns. Oh brother, is he kidding me? I roll my eyes while Ambers jaw is still on the floor.
She slowly closes her mouth and manages a weak smile. “Hi.”
My eyes feel like they are constantly rolling, this is a damn joke. We’re next at the concession stand and I lean forward asking for a Bud Light. The girl hands me a big plastic cup filled to the brim. Thank you God. I take a big sip letting the cool liquid slide down my throat. I look back to see he’s still standing there and he’s looking at me. Practically staring. His green eyes are sparkling like emeralds and it takes a second before I’m able to tear mine away.