Stanton Unconditional (4 page)

I look down and smile as my heart melts. “He said that?” I ask. “He said he wanted to marry me?”

She sits back and frowns. “From that whole sentence that’s the only information you took.”

I nod, embarrassed. “Sorry, carry on.”

“And then, not two weeks later, she sleeps with someone else and breaks his heart and I have to put him on a plane to go to the other side of the world alone … and devastated.”

I swallow the lump in my throat as the horrible taste of guilt rises from my stomach. I look her in the eyes. “I never slept with another man, Margaret. I lied so that Joshua wouldn’t throw his life away on me. I knew he would never let me leave him unless I told him that and it has haunted me ever since. To this day, I have never had sex with another man.”

She goes silent and sits back in her chair in shock. “What, never?” I shake my head. Her face drops.

“I know this sounds strange to you, but Joshua and I are truly in love and you have made us miserable with your venom. Joshua should never have to choose between us Margaret. It is just not fair to put him in that position. I would never do that to him but you seem to do it easily.”

She drops her head. “I know.”

“And then you come to me after I let my father die telling me that we are not even related, when you have hated me for all these years. How do you expect me to react?”

She tears up as she looks at me. “Natasha … I’m so sorry. I felt you were dangerous to Joshua. His love for you is all consuming and I know that in all honesty if you left him again it would break him … and I was right. He took a cocaine overdose. But in the end when I saw him so miserable I couldn’t do it to him any longer. I had to tell you the truth.”

I sit back in my chair. “Tell me, are you going to tell your son the truth about his paternity?” I ask as I raise an eyebrow in contempt.

Her face drops. “Natasha, please don’t judge me. After I had Scott,” she looks around the café to make sure nobody is listening, “ Robertwas working all the time and lost interest in me sexually. I was only twenty-two years old. He was away three weeks out of four and I was pretty sure he was having an affair. I was miserable.” The waitress arrives with our coffee. Margaret stops talking immediately. “Thank you,” she smiles. “We had a friend that used to come to the house regularly to check on me and Scott, at Robert’s request. He was my only friend at the time and I came to depend on him. His marriage had temporarily broken up and we leaned on each other for support. We talked a lot, and often he would come over and then stay for dinner. We were both very lonely. One night after a few wines he told me that he used to fantasise about me … sexually… when he was alone in bed.” My eyes widen as I imagine the situation she is setting for me. “I was totally shocked and asked him to leave immediately. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It haunted me, Natasha. I was in my sexual prime and I was married to a man who saw me as a mother to his child and nothing more. It was a very difficult time for me.”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to be married to someone like that,” I whisper. She smiles. “You will never have to worry about that. The chemistry you have with Joshua runs too deep.” I give her a thankful smile, she didn’t have to say that. “Anyway, I thought about it for two whole months and in the end I was fantasising about him in my bed as well. I wanted to feel wanted, I wanted to feel desired. Robert went away for four months and as usual our friend would call daily to check on me. The sexual tension between us became unbearable and one night he kissed me on the lips goodnight. I got nervous and asked him to leave, but he didn’t. He stayed out in his car for four hours while I paced inside, distraught at what I was about to do. When he knocked again at two in the morning I didn’t have any resistance left. I broke Natasha, I gave into temptation. We made passionate love every day and night for a month. I fell totally in love with him and when Robert was due home in a few weeks I told this man of my intentions to leave Robert so we could be together.” I sit back in shock, this is not the story I expected. “He told me to not be a fool and that he was going back to his wife.” She tears up at the memory. My stomach drops and I actually feel … pity for her. “He told me that we could never be together and that he would not choose me over his friend and that if I told Robert he would make my life misery. I was heartbroken—how could I have been so stupid. I threw away my marriage vows on a man who was using me for sex.” She wipes her tears with a tissue and takes a sip of her coffee. “When Robert got back he was different. The man I married was back and he admitted that he had in fact had an affair and wanted us to start again. To try and be a family unit for Scott’s sake. How could I say no when I had been just as deceitful. I jumped at the chance to stay with the man who I had previously been deeply in love with.” She wipes her eyes again with her tissue. “Anyway to cut a long story short I found out two months later that I was pregnant but I didn’t think the child could be through the affair as we had always used condoms. And, besides, Robert and I had fallen back in love and a child was a blessing. My beautiful Joshua was a gift. He brought me so much happiness and I thanked god every day that I had been given a second chance at happiness.”

Empathy wins and I smile and grab her hand over the table. “Margaret, I know how it feels to give into temptation. I fell in love with my first cousin remember. Every night we would fight our conscience to be together. It was dreadful.”

She nods and smiles as if understanding. “When Joshua was sixteen he fell off a horse and lost a lot of blood.” I frown as the next part of the story unfolds. “Anyway his father was away at the time overseas and Joshua ended up needing a blood transfusion. When the doctors tested his blood type it came back that he had a very rare blood type and that it was not genetically possible that he could be a full sibling to his brothers. I have never been so crushed. Joshua was the son of another man. How could I have done this to Joshua and his beloved father?” My eyes cloud over now as I realise this was a terrible mistake. I actually feel sorry for her. “To make matters worse I had to go to this man who is still a friend of Robert’s and tell him the truth so he could donate the lifesaving blood Joshua needed. He was mortified and if the truth came out he would lose everything, his wife, his kids, and his best friend. He has threatened me with violence if I ever told anybody.”

I frown. “Margaret, is this man dangerous?” I whisper.

She nods. “Unfortunately yes, and unstable.” She wipes her eyes again with her tissue. “It was he who brought it to my attention that the only way this secret would come out is if you and Joshua stayed together and had genetic testing … for pregnancy and things.” My eyes widen as I understand. She sobs out loud.

“I knew I had to keep you apart … at all costs.” I nod as I grab her hand and she squeezes it.

“Natasha, will you keep my secret … please. No good can come of this getting out. Joshua will be devastated, Robert will be devastated. This man will lose everything and take vengeance on me. Robert will probably leave me and Joshua will not be a Stanton.” I frown as my tears threaten again.

“Margaret, you are asking me to lie to the man I love. I can’t do that,”I whisper.

She shakes her head. “No, not lie … just not mention it and then if it comes to him having to know, I will tell him and I will pretend that you didn’t know anything about it … I swear I will never implicate you in any of this mess.”

I rub my hands through my hair. “Margaret, I wish you hadn’t told me,” I whisper angrily.

She nods. “I know but I had to, you were both so devastated. I have never seen a love like yours Natasha. You really are soulmates … I believe that … you believe that … Joshua knows that. How could I keep it from you? Keep you from each other when I knew the truth.”

I frown as I drain my coffee cup. I put my head into my hands on the table. “This is fucked up Margaret, and I’m a psychologist … I deal with fucked up well.”

She smiles and grabs my hand. “I know dear. I’m sorry to put you in this situation but what choice do I honestly have? If you can think of another way out of this where Joshua doesn’t get hurt please let me know. I’ll be all for it.” I sit in silence for ten minutes quietly drinking my second coffee as I wrack my brain for another avenue to follow. I’ve got nothing. I nod as I blow out a heavy breath in resignation. She’s right … there is no way out of it. I have no choice but to lie. Joshua deserves better.

Chapter 4

A
t five-thirty I
return to Joshua’s room to find it empty. His belongings, my fold-up bed, everything … gone.

Max and I are puzzled until a nurse approaches us. “Are you Natasha Stanton?” she asks.

I smile proudly. “Yes.”

“Your husband has been moved upstairs to the private wing and asked me to let you know where he is.”

“Oh ok, thank you,” I reply.

“Take the lift up to level seven and then you will see a large set of grey doors with a security code on your right. Push the buzzer and you will be buzzed in,” she answers.

I smile again. “Ok thanks.” We ride the lift in silence. My mind is heavily weighed down by Margaret’s story t. I can’t believe I actually feel sorry for her. Can you imagine what it must be like to hold a secret like that in for twenty-seven … actually, no, she said she found out when he was sixteen, so eleven years. And it is such a bad secret … my poor baby, he has no idea. God, this is such a mess. Have I done the right thing agreeing to keep this quiet? What if he finds out later that I knew all along and then leaves me for deceiving him? It’s entirely possible. I’m just as bad as his mother … but what choice do we have? It’s him we are protecting.
What a fucking nightmare
. We arrive at the security doors and a janitor is cleaning the foyer near the double doors.

Max speaks first. “Natasha Stanton to see her husband.” I smile at the floor—that sounds really, really good.

The bored receptionist’s voice echoes through the speaker. “Yes, come in.” The doors open. We reach the receptionist’s desk. “I would like to see my husband. Which room is he in?”

“Of course, the last door on the right.” I smile at Max and we head down the corridor towards the last door on the right and it opens to a large private lounge area complete with television, cable and a kitchen.

I frown at Max. “This is random.” He smiles and nods. There is a cleaner in there restocking the kitchen.

“Hello,” I smile.

She smiles. “Hello.”

I frown at her. “What are these large rooms? Where are the hospital rooms?”

“This is the private wing for celebrities who need more privacy from the press, and more room for their bodyguards and things.”

My eyes widen. “Oh,” I reply, shocked. Jeez … this is so … over-the-top Hollywood.

“Yes, most of the LA celebrities have been in here at one point or another for substance abuse issues.” My eyes drop to the floor. Yes, like my so-called husband.

“Hmm I see, where is my husband?” This gossipy bitch is starting to piss me off.

“The door to his room is around the corner next to the television.” I nod and head in that direction.

“Tash, I will just stay out here tonight, ok?” Max states.

I turn and frown at him. “Max, that’s not necessary. Go home honey. I will be fine. Nobody can get in here. There is security. It’s safe here.”

Max narrows his eyes. “No, I will be staying. I’m good. I will watch the game on the screen.” My eyes flick to the gossipy kitchen girl who is now listening to our conversation.
Buzz off big ears
.

“I will be out to see you soon,” I reply as he flops into the lounge chair. I walk into the room and my jaw drops. Bloody hell, this room looks like a luxury hotel suite. There is even a double bed.
What in the world?
Joshua walks out of the bathroom and throws me a swoon-worthy smile.

“There’s my beautiful girl. I was starting to get worried. I thought that maybe you and my mother may have killed each other. I was going to send out a search party.” He bends and tenderly wipes the hair back from my face. I smile and put my arms around his neck and inhale his wonderful scent. I feel better just being in his vicinity… I need to put this paternity shit out of my head.

He kisses me gently. “So …” he steps back to scan my face. He wants to know what was said between his mother and me.

Guilt fills my stomach … I can do this. “We are calling a truce, for your sake Joshua. Only because we both love you.”

His eyes light up and he smiles warmly. “Thank you … I really appreciate you doing this for me.” He bends and kisses my neck. “I will make it up to you presh. It will be well worth your while.” He grabs my behind and grinds me forward onto him.

My eyes close instinctively. “That’s great big boy, but stop. We are in a hospital. No fun for you until we get home,” I smirk.

He sits on the chair and pulls me onto his lap. “I’m hungry for you,” he whispers darkly. I smile. God, me too actually. The little two pumps I got yesterday have only heightened my need for a long hard sex session.

“Patience, baby … later.” I smile into the top of his head.

“Prick tease,” he whispers into my neck.

“Baby I am going to tease that prick until you’re crying with want. You have no idea.” I gently run my tongue through his lips and pull back to smirk at him.

“There’s my beautiful slut. I’ve missed that filthy mouth of yours Natasha.”His eyes darken as they drop to my lips.

Just him calling me beautiful slut awakens memories that send a throb of arousal to my centre. “Well I’ve missed that beautiful strong tongue of yours, so we are even,” I whisper.

“If you are trying to get yourself fucked you are going the right way about it.” He licks my neck.

My eyes close as I feel my legs start to open by themselves. Mmm, I need to be fucked … hard. “It’s working then,” I whisper.

He pats the bed next to him. “Come and lie with me.”

“How did your session go with the rehab guy?” I ask to try and change the subject.

He shrugs his shoulders. “Embarrassing. I felt like a junkie.”

“To them you are,” I reply.

He nods and flops onto his back. “I hate that I have done this. How could I have been so stupid?”

I nod and my eyes tear up. “Josh, what if you had died … it would have killed me. I wouldn’t have been able to go on. How could you be so selfish?”

He kisses my forehead as he pulls me tightly into his arms. “I know presh. I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t mean it. I was watching the movie of us on repeat all weekend.”

I frown in horror. “What, the porno?”

He smiles and nods. “Yeah, you look smoking hot by the way.” He kisses my forehead again. I bring my hand up to my face in embarrassment. What must I look like?

“And then what happened?” I ask.

He blows out a breath. “I was down on myself for letting you down.”

I turn to look at him. “How have you let me down Josh?”

He drops his eyes. “I just have Tash. I am supposed to be the one to take care of you and I can’t even do that.”

“Josh, it wasn’t your fault my dad died. We had no idea that Brock was going to go crazy.” His eyes are still downcast. “Josh, he had an underlying heart condition.” I sigh.

“Why did you cut me like that? We are supposed to be in this together. In the worst time of your life I am supposed to be the one who takes care of you and you wouldn’t even speak to me. I had to have Cameron check on you daily to see if you were alright. In the end it was him that told me you weren’t coming back any time soon and that I should return to America,” he murmurs in a hurt voice.

“Josh,” I whisper.

“It fucking killed me to get on that plane without you.” His eyes tear up and guilt fills me as we touch foreheads and stay silent. There are no words for this moment, nothing that accurately describes the amount of remorse that I have, for my father’s death … for leaving Josh. What was I thinking? For a long time we lie silently together enclosed in regret, lost deep in our own thoughts and holding each other tight. I feel sick in my stomach. I should tell him the truth about his father.

“Joshua, we will never be apart again, I promise you. Our hard times are over with.” I smile through the lump of guilt in my throat.

He nods as if not believing me. “What about when Brock finds out. What are you going to do then?”he says in a flat voice as if not believing me.

“Josh, Brock has been a horrible cold brother to me since Dad died. He has no regard for my feelings. Even Mum has told him to wake up to himself. I have my mother’s blessing to be with you and now your mum and dad are on board we will be ok, baby. We love each other right?”

He nods.

“Let’s just concentrate on today … being happy today.” I smile softly.

He kisses my lips gently. “Deal,” he whispers. “I will spend every day ensuring a happy one for you.” I smile and kiss him gently as a knock comes to the door.

“Come in,” he snaps angrily at being interrupted.

Cameron walks into the room with a beaming smile. “Hello lovebirds.” I smile and pull out of Joshua’s embrace to lie on my back.

“Hello Doctor Love.” I smile.

“Hmm, Doctor Love has a ring to it. Although I would rather be known as Doctor Multiple.”

Joshua laughs out loud, “You really are a tool you know?”

Cameron bites his lip to stifle a smile and winks at me. “How are you feeling today?” he asks Joshua.

“Much better,” he replies. Cameron picks up Joshua’s file and starts to read it as he stands at the end of the bed. It still freaks me out that he is actually a qualified doctor. He reads something and frowns.

“What’s Murph doing?” Josh asks.

Cameron is still frowning and looking down at the file answers. “He’s busy working again. The media has got a hold of your overdose and the phones and website are apparently going crazy.”

“I’m going outside to see Max,” I whisper to give them some privacy.

Josh narrows his eyes at me and grabs my hand. “What’s with the sudden interest in Max?”

I frown at him. “You can’t be serious … he’s my bodyguard.” Josh raises an eyebrow and continues to hold my hand in silent disapproval.

“Joshua, you are the one making him follow me around. He can go any time you like.”

My eyes flick back to Cameron who is still frowning at Joshua’s file. What is he looking at?

“Why are you frowning like that? Is something wrong?” I ask.

Cameron’s eyes shoot up as if distracted. “Huh.” He had no idea what I just said. He is distracted.

“What’s wrong, why do you look like that?” I repeat.

He bites his bottom lip in concentration. “No reason, just a lot on my mind. I need to go. I will catch you both later.” He leaves the room in a rush.

I walk to the end of the bed and pick up the file. I wonder … what was in the file?

Shit.

Joshua Mark Stanton

Blood typeAB–

DOB1/5/87

Fuck.
Blood type. Was Cameron looking at Joshua’s blood type?

Is he onto something? What type of blood does everybody else have? How do I find this information out?

“Go and find a naughty nurse outfit and come back in here and give me some sexual healing,” Joshua says in a low sexy voice.

I smirk as I look up from his file. “Really, sexual healing? That’s very eighties.” I raise my brow in question.

He smiles and a nurse opens the door. “Mr Stanton, we need to run some tests.” I jump at the chance to exit unnoticed.

“I’m going to get a coffee babe. Back in a moment,” I stammer.

He kisses the back of my hand. “Take Max.” I smile and give him a quick peck on the cheek.

Ten minutes later I am sitting at the café consulting Doctor Google. Shit, this stuff is confusing. I decide to ring Mum.

“Hi Mum.”

“Hello darling, how is our patient?” She smiles down the phone.

“He’s going ok, thanks. Listen Mum I can’t talk long. They need some blood at the hospital and I was going to donate. Do you know what blood type I am?”

“Yes O+ like me,” she answers. I stay silent as I think. Mmm.

“Do you know what type of blood Robert has? He is not here but I can ring him if he has the right type,” I ask.

“Yes he is O+ like me and you. What type do they need?”

“AB –” I snap. Holy shit this is bad and my eyes close in a panic.

“Mmm, Tash, that’s a very rare type. I think only a person who has A or B could donate.”

I rub my face as I type doubletime on my iPad. “Do you know what type of blood Margaret has?”I ask.

She hesitates, “I think she’s A. But I could be wrong. Do you want me to ring her?” she replies.

“No!” I snap. “I mean that’s ok.” Holy shit, what if she says something to Margaret? ”Umm, I will see her when she gets back,” I reply nervously. I need to get off the phone before I totally let the cat out of the bag.

“Ok love. Call me when you have more time to talk,” she replies cheerfully

“Ok, love you,”I whisper.

“You too, love, goodbye.” And with that she is gone.

I type in: can a women with A blood and a man with O+ create a child with AB- blood?

The answer comes straight back … Negative. Check paternity.

Fuck … Cameron could know. I put my head into my hands on the table. This is a fucking disaster. I hate this. Do I tell Margaret that Cameron knows or at least I suspect that Cameron is suspicious? Is he suspicious? Or am I imagining this? Bloody hell, how did I get roped into this shit? Perhaps my mind is playing tricks on me? I stand and walk to the fridge and see Max standing outside the door waiting for me. He is on his phone. I open the door, distracted, looking at him and get out an Iced Coffee Milk. As I turn I run headfirst into a man and drop my drink.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I stammer. I look up and step back. This man is in a bad way—his whole face is bruised. Two black eyes, cut lips, broken nose. Jeez he must have had one hell of a car accident. He has red dreadlocks. Freaky looking.

He smiles and bows his head. “No problem.”

I smile at Max who is now looking at me, shaking his head. Why am I so damn clumsy? Max shakes his head and laughs at me. Hmm, he’s getting accustomed to my klutziness.

Two hours later I am lying on Joshua’s bed when Cameron comes in. “I’m heading off for the day. Do you want me to bring you anything from home?”

I stretch and stand. “I will come with you Cam. I will sleep at the house tonight.”

Joshua looks at me, mortified. “You don’t want to stay with me?”

“Yes, I want to stay with you. I think it will be better if I stay at your house tonight. This looks bad,” I reply.