Stanton Unconditional (25 page)

“My presence? That’s very deep,” I stammer.

He puts his toast and tea on the side table and sits on my bed and rubs the mattress in a circle. He pats it for me to sit next to him and I do.

“Is this the bed you slept on?” he asks.

I smile and nod.

“Did you ever think of me when you were lying in it?” he whispers as his eyes darken and drop to my lips.

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Did you ever touch yourself while you thought of me?”

I drop my head and he puts his finger under my chin and brings my face back up to his as his eyes search mine.

“Yes,” I whisper again as I twist my hands nervously in front of me.

“Did you ever think you would have me sleep in this bed with you?” he smirks sexily as he runs his hand down my clavicle and cups my breast.

“No,” I whisper.

“How are we going to celebrate our strength in this bed tonight?” he whispers as he leans in and kisses me softly and his lips linger over mine.

He’s right, this is a momentous night. I would lie here and cry myself to sleep every night wishing that he wasn’t my cousin, wishing that we could be here together, wishing that I had my parents’ support. And here we are eight long years later, he is not biologically my cousin although my stomach twists with the hurt that knowledge brings. We are here together and my mother is one hundred per cent behind us. I make an internal decision, I love this man and I do want to celebrate my strength … with him.

I kiss him gently. “I want you to make love to me in this bed tonight, Josh. I want more than anything to be able to celebrate our strength together.” My hand drops to his face and I kiss him gently again.

“Tash,” he whispers. His lips take mine and the emotion behind it rips my heart wide open. That’s it, I’m gone.

I smile as my eyes fill with tears. “I love you,” I whisper. “Make love to me, baby. I need you.”

He kisses me again, more urgently, more intensely. His tongue gently licks my lips as his hands hold my face, and my insides start to liquefy. He stands and, with his eyes not leaving mine, he starts to undress slowly and my heart starts to thump in my chest.

“What about your toast?” I ask nervously.

His eyes flick to the side table and his vegemite toast on the plate. “Fuck the toast.”

I giggle. “Sshh,” he snaps. “You mother is upstairs.”

I giggle again as I hold my hand over my mouth to stop myself from making noise.

He strips naked and turns to face me, his eyes still on mine. My eyes drop to the perfect man in front of me, my name firmly branding his beautiful body. His dark skin and rippled abdomen call to my libido on a level I will never understand, but it’s his heart that I love. The fact that he comes wrapped in such beautiful sexy packaging is just a bonus, the icing on the cake. I would love him the same even if he was a broke skinny surfie … like he was when we fell in love.

He walks over to my door and flicks the lock, then returns and turns on my lamp on the bedside table.

“I want to see your face as I fill you, precious girl.” He kisses me again and I practically melt into his arms. My body starts to weaken with arousal. I need this. I can feel the pulse throbbing between my legs.

He very slowly, while not breaking eye contact, pulls my shirt over my head. His eyes drop to my breasts, to my erect nipples. Slowly, so slowly, he drops his hands to my behind and very gently slides my boxer shorts down my legs. He hisses as he sucks on my nipple. His hand drops to between my legs where he parts me and starts to slowly circle my clitoris with perfect pressure.

“There’s my girl. You’re so wet baby,” he whispers into my chest.

I nod, unable to talk, with my hand on his forearm. Every time with this man is like the first time, the very first time he touched me. That panting excitement when I feel like I can’t breathe from his touch … without his touch, like I’m seventeen and a virgin, new to the joy of love making. I can feel the want in his hands and it brings me to my knees I can’t move, I am frozen on the spot. My head drops back and my eyes close in anticipation, and goosebumps run over my body as he starts to gently bite me. This is what he does so well, pushes me with that little bit of pain until I’m desperate for him to actually hurt me. For him to take me without abandon, to take his pleasure from my body and damn the consequences.

“Lie down presh,” he whispers.

I look at the bed and nod nervously—why am I so damn nervous?

“It’s ok, baby, I won’t hurt you,” he whispers as he senses my fear.

I slowly take a seat on the bed and he turns and switches off the light and crawls over the bed and lies down. His hand strokes over my hair and he smiles at me. “Why are you nervous?” he asks quietly.

I shrug, embarrassed. “I don’t know,” I whisper.

He pulls me down to lie next to him. “I’ll make sure you’r ready, presh, I won’t hurt you. You know that.” He gently licks my neck, my eyes close, and his chest hair gently dusts across my skin.

I nod as the stupid tears fill my eyes. “I’m not scared of you hurting me physically Josh,” I whisper.

He pulls back and looks at me affectionately and his eyes twinkle. “Do you have any idea how perfect you are?”

I smile through my tears and his eyes hold mine. “You’re not the only one here who is frightened, Tash.”

He bends and kisses me gently and I stupidly sob. Why the hell am I crying? What’s the matter with me?
Stop it
.

His lips gently take mine as I melt into his touch, my legs fall to the mattress in silent invitation and his hands roam up and down my body gently. I know he is desperately

trying to curb his arousal. His hands find that spot between my legs again and he groans into my neck as he feels how wet I am.

“You feel so good. I can’t wait to be inside you,” he whispers. “I need this so badly.” My eyes close in pleasure.

His fingers part me as his open mouth moves from my neck to my jaw to my mouth. I can’t even kiss him back as my arousal start to heavily thump. I lie with my mouth open, panting … waiting. His open mouth moves down my body and I shake my head.

“No, baby. I want you up here with me.” I try to stop him moving down as I grab a hold of him. I need him to kiss me through this.

“Tash, you need to orgasm first a couple of times or I won’t be able to get in. It has to be this way, presh,” he whispers.

I kiss him again and he moves lower between the sheets and into the darkness under the blankets. I smile at the ceiling with my hands on the back of his head. In a normal sex romp with Joshua Stanton there are no blankets because he flips me around so much that they don’t stay on the bed. There is definitely no silence as I am usually screaming in ecstasy and the bed is hitting the wall with such force it could be used for demolition, and there is no darkness, it is usually blazing light because he wants to look at my body as he takes me. I lie still as I feel his silent gaze on me and feel his breath on my inner thighs. His fingers slowly part me and I feel him gently blow on my open weeping flesh. God, I need this. With his open hands holding my legs apart at my upper thigh I start to quiver with need. His tongue goes to work and gradually I feel my body start to meet him as his hands pull me onto his face. He’s in me completely, tongue, stubble and face, and he’s loving it. Oh … oh … dear god, I shudder as my body lurches off the bed in orgasm.

“Sshh,” he whispers as he grabs my hand affectionately. There it is, the gentle gesture that is my breaking point.

He immediately pushes two fingers into me and I bring my knees up and, my feet flat to the mattress, I try to calm myself and lie back as I try to control my breathing. His tongue unleashes on my clitoris this time and he works me with his two fingers, in and out … in and out … in and out, oh shit. Then he adds another finger and I flinch at the tight pinching sensation. He stops.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks into me.

“No, it’s ok. It’s a good burn,” I whisper as I rub my hand over the back of his head in a reassuring gesture.

He keeps working me and the bed starts to move and he stops. “Sshh, stop breathing so heavy.” He whispers.

“I don’t believe you are telling me to be quiet, you are usually making me scream,” I whisper.

“Sshh,” he says again.

“Stop sshhing me,” I whisper as I smile at the ceiling.

Then he lets me have it, three fingers and the best oral sex you have ever felt. He works me so hard that I am moving up and down in my bed. Without realising it, my feet have lifted and I lie with my legs in the air. My hands are firmly on the back of his head, he groans into me and I gently convulse into another orgasm, then, before I realise what has happened, he has lifted my legs and pushed into me in one movement. God … he’s big. He breathes heavily into my shoulder as he stays still and deep to let me acclimatise to the hard intrusion. Holy … mother of god this man is divine. He kisses me and I run my hands over his broad muscular shoulders. How have I lived without this?

He starts to pant as he tries to control himself. He kisses me again, more urgent and I know he has to move.

“I’m ok,” I whisper. “It’s ok baby.”

He nods and slowly pulls out. Ohh, it burns. I close my eyes as I try to deal with the full sensation. He stays still again.

“Are you ok?” he asks in a nearly unrecognisable husky voice.

I nod. “I’m good, go.” I bring my hips up to meet his and put my hands on his behind.

He groans into my ear as he takes the lobe between his teeth. The dull pain of his bite combined with his breath on my neck and the burning hot fire between my legs has me starting to really move underneath him. I need more, I need it harder.

“Sshh, gentle baby,” he whispers as he tries to calm me. “We have to be quiet.”

“I can’t be quiet. Fuck me,” I whisper.

He smiles into my neck. “There’s my beautiful slut, I’ve missed her.” He kisses me again and starts to move. “Baby, I won’t last, it’s been too long,” he whispers, but I am way past worrying about his orgasm because mine is here already. I cry out and lurch forward as the orgasm rips through me. He quickly puts his hand over my mouth and I giggle into it. He closes his eyes and with one, two, three strong pumps his orgasm gently takes him over. Never have you seen anything so beautiful as Joshua Stanton in orgasm. His eyes close and he shudders, his mouth opens slightly as he gasps for air.

We lie together panting. I can feel his heart beating in his chest heavily along with mine. We start to kiss passionately and the depth of feeling I have for this man once again moves me to tears.

He wipes my tear away with his thumb as he kisses me gently.

He rolls onto his back and drapes my body over his as he holds my hand. Our heartbeats are still going at a hectic pace. We both lie staring at the ceiling as we try and catch our breath.

“Tash,” he whispers.

“Yes,” I answer.

“Am I seeing this right? Do the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling spell Joshua?”

I giggle in embarrassment. “Maybe,” I whisper. “Everyone wants their name up in lights, right?”

He laughs. “You’re an idiot,” he whispers as he kisses my forehead. I sigh happily as I kiss his broad chest and start to relax.

“I fucking adore you,” he whispers and I smile into his neck.

Who would have thought at five in the morning on a Tuesday in my mother’s house under the veil of silence I would once again hear those much needed magical words from the beautiful Joshua Stanton?

Chapter 21

I
wake to the
sound of talking in the kitchen. I frown and look around. I pull myself out of bed, put my pyjamas back on and head out, and there I see it. My heart warms at the sight of Joshua sitting at the kitchen bench on a stool in his complete suit talking to Mum who is making bacon and eggs.

“How many eggs?” she asks

“Two please,” h answers as he casually flicks through the paper.

“This is my favourite start to the day ever,” I smile as I hunch my shoulders in excitement and clap my hands in front of me.

Joshua and Mum both frown at me in question.

“Having breakfast with my two favourite people of course,” I smile as I walk around to Joshua and put my arm over his shoulder and around his neck. His eyes flick to Mum.

“It’s ok,” I say.

He subtly shakes his head at me to signal silence—this is shy Joshua at his adorable best.

Mum has her back to us and Joshua reaches over and grabs my hand as he gives me a wink.

“What are you doing today?” I ask.

He raises his brows. “I’m going to go for a surf and then train at the gym, go to the hospital and then Adrian and Ben want to see me about a few things and then I suppose it’s back to work tonight.”

I nod and smile at Mum as she hands me a cup of coffee. “Why do you need to train ?” Shit, that bloody fight. I knew it.

“Tash, I train every day, you know that.”

“How long do you train for?” I ask as I take another bite of toast.

He shrugs. “Couple of hours I suppose.” Hmm, that’s why he always looks like he’s been photoshopped.

“Are you still going to the gym?” he asks as he smirks.

Of all the nerve! I widen my eyes at him. “Of course.” Not really, I can never be bothered, but I will from now on. Mental note, get to the gym today, you lazy bitch.

Mum puts our bacon and eggs onto the counter top. “Here you are, I’m going to get ready to go to the hospital. Enjoy.” She smiles and rubs Joshua’s arm as she walks past us.

Joshua’s horrified face drops to his breakfast and I giggle.

“Don’t you like bacon and eggs?” I ask.

He smiles. “Yes, of course.” He picks up his knife and fork and starts to pick at it.

I smile with my cutlery in my hands. “When was the last time you had a breakfast like that?”

He shrugs. “Probably five years ago.”

I frown. “Why?”

“I don’t like feeling like shit and how I train and what I eat determines that.”

I smile and nod. Shit, I had better find some hard-core motivation somewhere and soon.

“Can you stay here again tonight?” he asks.

I frown. “Josh, I am ok at home. I have been having these nightmares all along and even if I were here I wouldn’t wake Mum up anyway.”

His face drops. “Can you just humour me please?”

I smile and rub my hand up his leg as I remind myself he is only being over-the-top caring. “Ok,” I sigh.

“Can you humour me?” I ask.

“On what?”

“Can you not cage fight anymore?” I need to stop him from fighting Jesten if it’s the last thing that I do. It can only end badly.

He rolls his eyes as he finishes his mouthful. “Tash we are on day one.” He holds his pointer up to accentuate his point. “Can you not start your shit please? We have had this conversation before and I am not giving up something that I love just because you perceive it as dangerous.”

I smile goofily.

“What?” he asks.

“Are we on day one?”

He smirks and raises an eyebrow. “Yes.”

I smile. “So was yesterday negative one?”

He shakes his head as he breaks into a smile. “No yesterday was zero.”

I nod. “Right, so where were we a month ago?”

His eyes hold mine. “In the black hole. Now eat your breakfast.”

I smile and shovel in a mouthful of food … loving day one!

I walk into Ben’s room. “What do you want to see me about?” I ask. His nervous eyes flick to me. “I’ll ring Murph.”

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Murph, Stan’s here. Ok, see you soon.” He flips his phone shut.

I bet Max has resigned and they are telling me together. Good, I want him gone.

Adrian walks through the door with his laptop and smiles at me nervously. “Hi Stan,” he murmurs.

Adrian turns on his computer and then flicks the jug on while it boots up.

“Take a seat,” he says quietly.

“What for? Aren’t we going to the gym?” I ask.

“We’ve got a problem.” He opens an email and I read the words: ‘Contact me on [email protected] or the wife gets the lot.’

Wife? I frown at the screen. “Who sent this?” I ask.

Adrian shrugs. “It was sent to the work email in LA.”

“Play,” I sigh.

He presses play and my stomach clenches. It is a vision of me and a woman. I can tell by the legs. I frown as I try to remember when this was. I sit back in my seat and run my pointer over my lip as I think. “When was this?” I ask.

Adrian’s nervous eyes flick to me. “Here in Australia.”

“What?” I frown.

He points to the screen. “Here, see, it’s the house in Bondi. It’s the girl who told us the other night Natasha’s email, remember?”

My eyes widen in horror. I sit shellshocked as I watch myself get a drink and then walk up the stairs with her.

“What was your name again?” I ask.

“What do you want it to be?” she replies.

“My bedroom is this way … Natasha,” I answer.

I stand in a rush. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I scream at Ben as I point to the computer

monitor. “Why wasn’t she searched for cameras? I thought she was lying the other night.”

He frowns uncomfortably. “I’m not sure,” he answers.

I start to pace as I run my hands through my head. “Who’s the wife she refers to?” I ask, horrified.

“I’m guessing Natasha.” Adrian winces.

“What!” I scream. “Is this a joke? Why do I have security if they don’t check girls for cameras?”

Ben drops his head.

“Have you been in contact with her?” I ask Adrian.

He nods solemnly.

“And?” I yell.

“She says she has film of the first night you were together … three hours of footage.”

“What!” I punch the chair in anger.

Adrian and Ben jump at the bang. I start to pace again with my hands on top of my head. “What does she want?” I snap.

“Five million dollars,” Adrian whispers.

“What?” I scream.

They both stand silent and still.

“How long have you known about this?” I ask.

“Two days.” Adrian frowns. “We were trying to sort it before we told you.”

“What? Trying to sort out why my security is so shit.” I glare at Ben.

“Joshua, calm down, blaming someone is not going to help the situation,” Adrian says quietly.

“Oh really, what am I paying for? Tell me that. What is the rule of my fucking house?” I ask Ben.

He drops his head. “All women are checked for cameras.”

“So why wasn’t she?”

He shrugs. “She was but we think it was hidden in her bag.”

“Oh this is perfect,” I yell. “Fucking perfect.” I drop to the bed and put my head into my hands as I try to think. What if Natasha gets that footage and is forced to watch me have sex with another woman. She’ll lose it … who wouldn’t?

I stand and walk over to the window as I look to the street below. She’s got me. I have no choice. “Pay the money,” I say flatly.

“What?” Adrian gasps. “Joshua, no, she could drag this out for more and more. We need to go to the police.”

I turn in a rush. “If you think for one minute I am having Natasha watch me have sex with someone else you can think again. I will not put her through this and if I have to kill this stupid bitch to shut her up then I will.”

“Stop it, you’re talking crazy,” Adrian snaps.

I turn to Ben. “Get those fucking tapes back at all cost. Do what has to be done,” I snap and leave the room.

I look nervously at myself in the wardrobe door mirror. I look like Frankenstein’s version of a medic: half hooker, half nurse. We are going with Adrian to a fancy dress ball for Nicholas Anastas’s charity tonight. Joshua hates fancy dress with a passion but I have promised to wear a naughty nurse outfit to sweeten the deal. I have a skintight white short nurse’s tunic on that has a zipper down the length of the front of it with a little pointy collar. The girls are standing to attention in the boostiest bra I could find, I have high sheer-white stockings that come above my knee with a little red satin bow at the top and I am wearing white patent sky-high stiletto shoes that are without a doubt the most uncomfortable shoes known to man. I need to bring Mr Stanton out of his shell at all costs. All this softly, softly quiet business at my mother’s house this week is about to drive me insane. I love the gentle love making but now I just need to be taken hard. My hair is out and teased in a Bridget Bardot do and I have the full cat makeup on. Let’s do this. I walk into the lounge room and the girls both turn to look at me. Bridget is taking a large scull of her drink and chokes as her eyes find me.

“Holy shit,” she snaps. “Are you trying to give him a heart attack?”

I smile and nod as Abbie hands me my wine. Abbie’s eyes scan up and down as she nods. “Now that’s what I’m talking abou, she coos.

She points her wine glass at Bridget. “Why didn’t you get us outfits like that. We look like shit.”

Bridget looks down at herself. “I think we look ok.” She shrugs her shoulders.

“We look like men,” Abbie snaps. “This outfit is totally sexless.”

I giggle as I look at the two of them dressed in their doctor’s coats and pants. It’s a government services fancy dress, you have to dress in something from a service.

“I didn’t see you at the fancy dress shop, you ungrateful witch. I got the best that was there,” Bridget frowns.

I laugh out loud. “I like the outfits Didge, they are very …” I smirk as I try and think of the right analogy. “Medicinal.”

“Medicinal,” Abbie snaps. “That will do me. I don’t want to look medicinal. I want to look hot.”

Bridget rolls her eyes. “Blah, blah. Abbie, you would look hot in a garbage bag. Who are you kidding?” I smile, thank frigging god I picked my own outfit.

We arrive at the function hall an hour later, and our driver pulls into the round circular drop off area. This is a Government Services Fancy Dress Ball, a fundraiser for mental health. It was organized by Nicholas Anastas for his combined charities and this is the fifth year he has held this event. In front of the function centre is a wide sandstone staircase that winds up to the huge double doors into the venue. There are four people lined up on each side of the door on the landing at the top of the stairs welcoming the guests as they walk into the ballroom. Nicholas is the last on the right. He is wearing a full white navy uniform and hat.

“Holy shit, he’s hot,” Abbie purrs as her eyes find him.

“I know—that’s him.”

“Who?” she questions as she frowns.

“He’s the guy who Adrian has been seeing, Nicholas Anastas,” I whisper as we walk up the steps towards the welcoming group.

“You’re joking, that’s him?” she snaps. “He’s totally straight, no way he’s batting for the other team,” she whispers angrily.

“Would you think that Adrian was gay if you didn’t know him?” Bridget whispers.

Abbie frowns. “Maybe.”

“I wouldn’t,” Bridget smirks.

We get to the top of the stairs and Nicholas’s dark eyes find me, he smiles warmly and immediately walks over to us. “Natasha, my dear, thank you for coming.” He kisses my cheek, oh dear he really is quite…

“Hello.” I smile nervously and am suddenly painfully aware that I look like something from the Rocky Horror Picture show. “These are my two friends, Bridget and Abbie.” I hold my hand up to them awkwardly.

He smiles and shakes their hands, and the girls exchange looks.

“Are the boys here yet?” I ask.

He smiles. “Not yet.” He gives me a wink and then moves on to greet the next person in the line behind us.

‘He’s divine,” Bridget murmurs in amazement.

“I know,” I reply as we enter the opulent ballroom. Our eyes immediately look around the space.

“I could turn him,” Abbie smiles.

“Wow,” Bridget whispers as she rolls her eyes at Abbie. “Yeah into a pumpkin.” She giggles.

“Jeez, this is an extravagant affair,” I murmur as I look around.

“But do they make a good margarita?” Abbie whispers.

Bridget smiles. “I will get us some, back in a minute.”

The decorations have a distinct disco feel. There are mirrored balls and coloured lights circling around the room. The crowd is eclectic and it seems funny with everyone dressed in a uniform, like weird. Bridget finally returns from the bar with a round of margaritas when I see it. The four hottest men in history entering the room. It’s as if the room stands still in awe. I know I am. Ben, Cam and Adrian are in front and then, at the back, always at the back, is Joshua. Dear God, it’s every Magic Mike fantasy that I ever had. They are wearing the same outfits. White tight singlet, green army cargo pants, green army cap and dog chains.

“Shit,” Abbie purrs.

I smile deviously. “I know, right?” I whisper.

“Army,” Bridget whispers.

“And you know what that stands for?” Abbie murmurs as her eyes scan up and down the four gorgeous men.

I take a sip of my drink and smile. “Code for fuck me,” I whisper as my mind gives me a visual of being taken by that god.

“If you don’t tap Ben tonight, you’re an idiot,” Abbie says to Bridget as her eyes follow them.

“Hmm, maybe?” Bridget whispers.

My eyes scan up and down Joshua’s muscular body as he walks effortlessly through the crowd across the room. I can see every muscle in his arms and shoulders through the shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination, his dark skin and ripped muscles are screaming at me … to every woman who is present. His dark hair and chiselled jaw line only accentuate his large red lips. My god he’s beautiful, how is it possible that one human being can be so virile….so blatantly sexual. His eyes search the room until they meet mine and he stops dead and smirks sexily at me as his eyes drop hungrily down my body. I feel the burn from his gaze as his eyes go back up to my face. He ticks his jaw and cracks his neck hard. There it is … the jackpot … more valuable than winning the lottery to any female with a pulse. My heart rate picks up speed in anticipation. He walks through the crowd on a mission and he grabs me roughly around the waist and jerks me toward him. Oh shit.