She tried to banish it as she had done since childhood, but this
time the thought wouldnt go away.
We think that means you are descended from Zeus, Cassandra
said. But from which House is still uncertain. Three of the Four
Houses were founded by either Zeus or his god-children,
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Aphrodite and Apollo. Only the fourth House, the House of Athens,
was founded by Poseidon, so it can be ruled out. Well, maybe.
My House? Helen said, still so wrapped up in her own head
that she was having a hard time understanding English. She was
remembering a blue flash from her past, and a scary man that kept
trying to touch her hair, flying away from her off the back of the
Nantucket ferry. The smell of burning filled her throat. Helen
rubbed her hand over her face and tried to rebury that memory.
She had always believed that she couldnt have been the cause of
that. And worsehad she hurt Kate, too?
When we say your House, we mean your heritage, Helen,
Castor said gently, noticing Helens disquiet. Zeus had a lot of
childrenincluding our father, Apolloso your House cant be
pinpointed with any certainty yet. But dont worry, were still trying
to find out who your people were.
Thanks, Helen muttered, still overwhelmed.
You cant control the lightning yet, it sort of jumps out of you
when youre upset, Lucas said after a long pause. He was looking
at her strangely.
Is it like a Taser? Helen asked anxiously, suddenly snapping
out of her trance.
Yeah, Hector said as if he was recollecting both sensations and
comparing them in his mind. But stronger.
Does it really hurt? Helen said quietly. She felt sick to her
stomach.
I guess, Hector said with a condescending shrug. You know, if
you put in some real training, you could probably generate a lethal
charge soon.
That wont be necessary, Helen said, jumping to her feet, horrified
with the suggestion. And with herself.
Wait, Helen, it could be a good thing, Jason replied. You could
learn how to use your bolts instead of fighting.
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You dont have to use them to kill. Just to knock people out,
Lucas amended, aware now that something was disturbing Helen
deeply.
He couldnt know that what he was saying to make it better only
made it worse. Helen thought of Kates unconscious bodyhow
Kate had convulsed in that nauseating way when the blue light
flashed. How her head had lolled back and her mouth fell open uncontrollably
when Helen had picked her up off the ground. She
couldnt get the horrifying images out of her head so she started
pacing around, wringing her hands to dispel the nervous energy
she felt. She knew everyone was staring at her. She looked up and
locked eyes with Pandora, who was clearly attentive to her strange
reaction.
Why dont we talk about this tomorrow? Pandora said to the
room in general. Hector needs to eat and everyone else needs a
shower. No offense, but pee-ew, guys. She got a few laughs, but
more important, she got the focus off Helen. Helen could have
kissed her.
Are you okay? Ariadne whispered in Helens ear as the family
meeting broke up. Helen squeezed Ariadnes hand and tried to
smile, but she had no idea what to say. She started to wander toward
the door.
Ill take you home, Lucas called out over his shoulder to Helen,
ending the brief conversation he was having with his father and
uncle.
Im supposed to watch Helen tonight, Jason said apologetically.
And I have my bike, Helen said. She couldnt bear to be with
him alone.
I dont care, Lucas replied bluntly to them both. He stared
down Jason for a moment, speaking volumes with his eyes, then
turned back to Hector. I need your truck, he said with barely controlled
anger. Hector nodded, glancing over at Helen and back at
Lucas with something approaching sympathy.
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Lucas grabbed Helens hand and pulled her outside. He loaded
her bicycle into the back of Hectors SUV, held Helens door open
for her while she got in, and drove out of the garage without a
word. Once off the Delos property he pulled over into one of the
many scenic park-and-gawk spots and turned in his seat to face
Helen.
Whats going on? he asked, angry and frustrated and frightened
all at the same time.
Helen didnt have an answer for him.
Will you at least tell me what I did wrong?
I already told you, you didnt do anything, Helen said to her
lap.
Then why are you treating me like this? Look at me, he
pleaded, taking her hand. She stared at their linked hands like it
was the first time she had ever seen anything like it.
What the hell is this? she asked. She pulled her hand out of his
with disgust. You know what? I take it back. You did do
something to me. You led me on.
Lukes whole face crumpled. Helen had had no reason to hope
after what she had heard the night before, but for some reason
there was a tiny spark still glowing in her that maybe, somehow,
she had misunderstood. Or that he would change his mind. It went
out completely when Lucas nodded.
I led you on, he said, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his
fists so hard Helen thought for a moment he was going to rip the
steering wheel off. His voice was harsh, almost a snarl. You and I
cant be together, so just get it out of your head and move on.
Helen unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car.
Wait, please, he started to say, almost as if he was in pain, but
Helen slammed her door shut and cut him off.
Wait for what? For you to tell me that Im a really nice girl but
youd never touch me? Thanks, I got that part already. Now open
the back so I can get my bike, she bit out. Her voice was foreign to
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her, so bitter and loaded with sarcasm that it sounded like
someone elses.
I promise I wont say anything the rest of the way if you dont
want me to. Just let me take you home, Lucas replied calmly. She
hated that he was calm.
Open the damn door, or Ill rip it off! Helen yelled back.
She knew she was making a fool of herself, throwing a tantrum in
the middle of the road like this, but she couldnt stop. Humiliation
was leaking out of every pore and she needed to get away from him
fast. She didnt want to leave anything behind, eithernothing that
would force her to come back to him later to ask for what was hers.
She stood at the back of his car with her head down and her arms
crossed tightly over her sore heart. She knew he was looking at her
in the rearview mirror, so she angled her body away. Finally, he
popped the back. She got her bike out and rode off without another
word.
When she got home she fell into bed without even taking her
clothes off. She could hear Jason moving around on the widows
walk as he settled down for the night, but she didnt feel guilty
about leaving him up there. All Helen wanted was to run as far
away from the Delos family as fast as she could.
She was on the edge of the dry lands, in a new place that she had
seen from a distance, but had never thought she could reach. It
was still rocky, but interspersed with the tufts of razor-sharp
grass, there were tumbled-down drums of mason-carved marble,
a thousand Parthenons worth of scattered columns. There had
once been an empire here. No longer.
Far off, there was the promise of a river. Helen couldnt tell if
she could hear it, or if she felt the extra part per million of moisture
in the air, but she knew there was running water nearby. She
felt so dry and empty inside. Where was the river?
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As she searched, she looked down at the fallen architecture and
read the names graffitied on its sides. Gracus loves Lucinda.
Ethan loves Sarah. Michael loves Erin. For what seemed like days
she ran her fingers over the names carved into the broken bones
of fallen loves, stepping around the tumbled pillars of unkept
vows and dusting the headstones in the graveyard of love with
her hands. Every kind of death had a resting place in the dry
lands.
She walked until her feet bled.
Helen woke to a room filled with sad blue light. She tried to roll
over and felt tied to her mattress, like she had been jumped by the
Lilliputians in the middle of the night. Somehow in her sleep she
had shucked off her shirt and shoes, but her jeans were so tangled
up in her sheets that she had to push herself off the bed and fight it
out on the floor to unwrap herself. It was an ugly battle, especially
since she was still covered in dirt from the trench Lucas had dug
with Hectors body, dried blood from her cut feet, and a gray,
powdery dust from the dry lands. Her feet had healed themselves,
of course, but still there were blood-encrusted foot smears all over
her sheets. They were ruined, and she would have to buy new ones.
Luckily, her dad was too squeamish about girl stuff to ask
questions.
She shimmied out of her jeans on her way to the bathroom and
climbed into the shower before the water even had a chance to heat
up. Opening her mouth, she gulped down as much of the cold
spray as she could catch. She was so dry inside. Her body ached
from walking hundreds of miles under a dead sunthe cold water
was like a blessing even though it made her shiver. Helen looked
down at her skin and watched the water get forced into little rivers
by the raised hairs of her goose bumps. It made her think about the
river she had seen from a distance right before she woke up.
She couldnt remember it.
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She knew she had felt a sigh-worthy relief, and only one thing
could have made her feel that way in the dry lands. Water. But she
couldnt remember anything about it. How could she forget a river
in the dry lands? It was unthinkable, so she stopped thinking about
it.
It bothered her that her brain refused to think about it. She
walked, still naked and dripping wet, to the vanity in her bedroom,
picked up some old viper-green eyeliner Claire had left the last
time she slept over, and wrote THE RIVER I CANT REMEMBER
on the mirror, just in case she forgot again. Then she got dressed.
It was getting cold out, and the air was damp with fog. Helen
zipped her jacket up to her throat and regretted not bringing
gloves. As she rode to school she had to keep one hand in her pocket
and one on the handlebars, and then switch off when the hand
she was using to steer got too numb.
When she arrived she saw Lucas waiting in the parking lot, leaning
up against an Audi shed seen in the Deloses garage, but never
seen him drive before. It reminded her how stupid shed been to
think he was going to kiss her that night in his garage. She dropped
her head and hurried toward the school without waving to him. He
took a step after her and opened his mouth to say something, but
stopped himself and let her go.
When Helen got to the door, she heard Claire call out from behind.
She paused and waited for her to catch up.
Are you two fighting? she asked, glancing back at Lucass
stooped form. When she got a good look at how terrible Helen
looked she burst out, Holy crap! What the hell happened to you?
I didnt sleep well last night, Helen mumbled.
Your eyes look black and blue, Len. Like you havent slept in
weeks, Claire responded, sounding seriously worried. Were you
crying a lot?
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No. Not at all, Helen said. It was true, too. She was sad, but she
never felt like crying when she was depressed. She felt like
sleeping.
Can you tell me what the fight was about? Claire asked
cautiously.
There was no fight, really. Lucas just doesnt want to be with
me, Helen said. She rammed her fists into her pockets. She found
that if she tensed her muscles she could keep herself from giving
up on moving.
I dont believe that, Claire said doubtfully. He punched Hector
in the face for just talking to you and pretty much announced to
the whole school that you were his girlfriend.
Well, I guess he must have changed his mind since then, Helen
said, shrugging. She didnt have the strength to argue. She barely
had the energy to turn the combination on her locker. She was so
tired from walking for weeks, but that had been a dream, hadnt it?
How could she be physically worn out from something that had
only happened in her mind?
Youre serious, arent you? Claire asked, studying Helens
hunched-up body.
Uh-huh. He doesnt want me, Gig. He told me so himself. Can
we drop it now? Im just too tired.
Yeah. No problem, Claire said, rubbing Helens back. For a
second, Helen let herself lean against Claire in a sideways hug.
Shit. Ill kill him, Claire offered. Helen tried to laugh at that,
but what came out of her sounded more like a hacking cough.