Starless Nights (Hale Brothers Series Book 2) (42 page)

He looks at me questioningly and uses his thumbs to wipe away fallen tears.

“Tell me how to take this away from you. I don’t want you to feel sorry anymore. I want us to move past this.”

“I’m trying, I am.”

“Leila, I forgave you, I forgave myself. I need you to do the same.”

I know I need to forgive myself, but it’s hard when you love someone as much as I love him and feel responsible. But, I am better and stronger today than I was yesterday, and I will fight for him always, because he is worth it.

“Do you want to be with me?” he whispers, looking over my shoulder and not at me.

“I am with you. Haven’t you figured that out yet? There has never been anyone else, only you, and I plan on keeping it that way.”

His eyes come back to mine and I look deep into his beautiful hazel eyes. They are clear. Clear of pain, clear of anger, and clear from all confusion. I used to look in them and see uncertainty. Now with all his walls down and all his questions answered, all I see is complete adoration.

“You’re right. I should have figured that out sooner.” He takes a deep breath and his thumbs swipe again across my cheeks. “I love you. I have loved you my whole life. There has not been one minute, second, when I didn’t love you.”

I tilt my head a little in his hands. His fingertips apply pressure and I feel it all the way down into my stomach. If I could stop breathing to freeze time, I would. I have waited so long to hear those three little words from this beautiful soul sitting next to me that in many ways, my life just changed.

“And I love you. I’ve loved you for so long.”

His eyes soften and the pace of his breathing increases. A small smile graces his lips and I return one knowing that I just made him happy. I want to make him happy forever.

Closing the distance between us, my mouth meets his, and today feels like the first day of my life. This kiss isn’t desperate or filled with years of longing; it’s filled with forgiveness and understanding. I feel hopeful. I feel proud that he chose me, and I feel loved—so loved.

Beau lays his face next to mine, cheek to cheek. I love the closeness to him. He lets out a sigh, but this one is of relief not resignation. Wrapping my arms around him again, he tenses underneath me.

“Sorry, just not used to it yet.” He lets out a shaky breath.

“It’s okay.” I pull back to look at him. He picks up his shirt to put it back on. Carefully, I take it from him and slide it over his head, he slips his arms through and shakes it down into place.

“Thanks.” Instantly he’s more comfortable—less tense—and he smiles at me.

“Want to go for a walk?” I ask.

“I’d love to go for a walk with you.” He stands up, puts a few pieces of taffy in his front pocket, and then grabs one soda shoving it into his back pocket. “Ready to go?” he reaches for my hand.

Sliding my hand in his, our fingers lace together, we walk over the dunes and down to the water’s edge.

“So which one do you think we should buy?” He looks down at me a smiles.

“Which one what?”

“Of those houses over there.” He points to the beachfront homes that look out over Bean Point.

I start laughing. It feels so good to laugh. One hour ago, I felt like my life was hanging on by a thread and now, I’m here with the one person that I love more than anything and he’s talking about buying us a house.

“I don’t care which house, as long as I’m with you.”

Beau stops walking, bends down and picks me up around the waist. Our bodies are flush together and my arms slide around his neck.

“It makes me so happy to hear that,” he mumbles against my lips, kissing me. I love when he kisses me. There’s never a question about where I belong in those moments. He takes control and reminds me that I’m his, and he’s mine.

He drops me to my feet and we start walking again, “So yeah, back to that house discussion . . . I wasn’t kidding.”

“We can’t afford one of those houses.” I look at him like he’s crazy and he returns it with a smug one of his own.

“Turns out we can. You and I have a lot to talk about.” He wraps one of his arms over my shoulders and pulls me tight up next to him.

“It’s a good thing I love to hear you talk,” I say looking up at him.

He smiles down at me and his eyes light up as he thinks of something. “Lei, did you know . . .”

I start laughing, cutting him off, and he laughs with me.

“You know eventually you are going to run out of those fun facts.”

“Never!” He smirks at me. “I’ve got a lifetime of them saved up for you.”

“Promise?” I ask him.

“Promise.” His eyes lock with mine and he bends down to give me a soft, sweet kiss. Beau doesn’t really do sweet, so this kiss, it is the promise, and in his own way he’s just sealed the deal.

Reaching into his pocket he pulls us out each a piece of taffy and hands mine to me. As I pop it into my mouth, I look around at the beach, our beach. The clouds have lifted and the sun is out. It shines across the water and lights up the sand. I’m so happy and content in this moment, I can’t help but smile.

I think of all the shooting stars and all the wishing that I have done, and at last my wish has come true. For twelve years I’ve loved this boy. I’ve finally told him and he’s finally mine.

“OKAY, OPEN IT!” she says, shoving a small package my way and bouncing up and down on her toes. Her crystal blue eyes are smiling at me and she’s grinning from ear to ear.

It’s been three weeks since we came back from the beach. Leila spends most of her time here and I love every second of it.

Looking her over from head to toe, she’s wearing a long sweater with tight black leggings. Her hair is down and curls are flying everywhere. She’s gorgeous and my heart squeezes.

Leila invited our friends over for a TBT, Tuesday before Thanksgiving, happy hour. In keeping with our friend Grant’s tradition, last year Ali hosted and this year we are. Trying to stay out of her way, I’ve been sitting on the couch watching Nate’s brother, Reid. He plays professional football for Jacksonville and he’s really good. Drew, Charlie, and I have all enjoyed following him this season. I pause the game on the T.V. and smile at her. She’s so happy it’s infectious.

“You bought me a present?” I look at her questioningly.

“Yep, and I really hope that you like it.” She plops down next to me.

“Are you sure you don’t want to save it for Christmas?” I ask while glancing back and forth between her and the package.

“Nope, I want you to have it now.” She bounces up and down a little bit. She’s so excited—it’s so cute.

“Okay.” Carefully, I pull off the paper and run my fingers across the soft black leather. “You bought me another journal?” I say looking at her.

“Yes. I think it’s time to pack away the other one. I’m hoping that together we can fill this one with new adventures, happy ones.” She reaches over and rubs her hand on my leg. I love it when she touches me.

The look on my face must be one of astonishment. She’s right, it is time to pack away the other one, but she also knows that I need to write out my thoughts, the good ones and the bad. My current journal holds so many awful memories that I try on a daily basis to forget, and often just seeing it causes many of them to come flooding back.

This journal will be about us, the way it should have been.

“Thank you. I love it.” Just like that day so long ago, on the bench, I lean over, place my lips on hers, and give her a sweet small kiss. I purposefully make this kiss feel just like our first one after she gave me the brown journal.

She giggles and I pounce knocking her backward and underneath me on the couch.

“Hey, this isn’t what happened!” She squirms. I know she’s also thinking of that day.

“Yes it is.” I say smiling down at her. “This is exactly what was happening in my mind that day on the beach.”

“In your mind . . .” she giggles again. Pulling my mouth down to hers, she breathes out, “What am I going to do with you?”

I can think of a few things that she can do with me, and all of them involve our clothes being on the floor.

As her soft lips move with mine, I know that I’ll never get tired of kissing or tasting her. If I had my way I would kiss her as much as possible, every day, all day. And it’s this thought that tells me it’s time.

“Move in with me,” I mumble against her mouth.

She pulls away leaving us just inches apart. A small smile forms on her lips and her eyes sparkle with excitement. “What? It’s only been a couple of weeks.”

I brush a few pieces of hair off of her face and run my thumb across the freckles on her cheekbone. “No it hasn’t. We’ve been together for twelve years. Maybe at times it was a little untraditional, but I have wanted you every second of every day and I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to have dinner with you every night and learn what your favorite foods are. I want pick out Christmas trees and light sparklers on the roof. I want to learn about wine with you. I want to wake up every morning to the smell of the coffee pot going off and look over and see you. I want my every moment to include you.”

Her eyes are glistening. She reaches up and wraps her hands around my face. “How can I say no to that?” she whispers.

“I’m hoping you won’t.”

Not leaving her a chance to respond, I close the distance between us and run my tongue across her bottom lip. She tastes like candy and I love candy. Sliding one hand under her backside, I press her into me. She giggles. She feels the effect that she’s having on me.

“You do realize that our friends will be here shortly, right?”

“Yep,” I say nuzzling my head into her neck.

Her fingers find the bottom of my shirt. She pulls it up and over my head.

“Well then, you better make this quick,” she says to me.

Looking down at her, I smirk. She has no idea, when it comes to her, I can be
really
quick.

Leaning back on my knees, I slip my hands up under her sweater and grab ahold of the leggings and her underwear. I’m determined to get them both off in one move. She laughs as I struggle to pull them down. Damn things are so strong and stretchy.

Once they are finally on the floor, my hands run up and down her smooth legs. She has the most gorgeous legs.

The air between us shifts and all playfulness is quickly gone. I kiss the inside of her thigh, and climb back on top of her, while taking my time to feel every curve.

Her hands find their way to my belt. Never breaking eye contact with me she pulls it free from the buckle, pops the button on my jeans, and slides down the zipper. Her thumbs hook into the waistband and she pushes them down off my hips. One foot comes up and continues the removal, next thing I know my jeans and boxer briefs are down by my knees.

Her hand wraps around me. I groan at the contact and she pulls me closer to where she wants me. I’m ready for her and as I slide into her, both of us let out a sigh of pleasure.

“I love you,” she says wrapping her arms around me, hugging me tight.

At this moment, I realize that I no longer flinch when she touches me. I’m not sure when I stopped, but the significance of this to me is huge. I meant it when I said I trusted her and this just adds another layer to that trust. Contentment washes over me as I sink even further into her and into her arms.

“I love you too. More than you will ever know.”