Starlight (The Dragonian Series Book 5) (6 page)

“Like what?”

He didn’t say anything. “Blake?”

“About who I used to be, Elena, the way I treated you ever since that night I woke up when Matt brought you here.”

I knew about that, it was the story he’d started to tell me a couple of months ago when he’d trained me to kill him. It sounded so stupid now thinking about it.

“You don’t need…”

He pressed his finger on my lips. “Shhh, just shhh,” he said and led me to the nearest boulder.

I sat down and he took the ground below me. His arms rested on his knees and for a few seconds he didn’t look at me.

“What I said on that mountain was the truth.” He looked to the ground. “I woke up that night, I went to investigate. I had no idea why I woke up and I couldn’t understand this feeling that was inside of me.” Our eyes met again. “Matt told me about you, how you looked like King Albert, all the professors were gossiping about that. Wondering, Constance was the worst. Many had their features, Elena, many and not one turned out to be some sort of a descendant. I told myself over and over, it wasn’t the reason I woke up.” He smiled and then he sighed.

“There were others that looked like them.”

“Not the way you do, but yes. They either shared one of your mother’s features or your father’s eyes. It was always his eyes, never anything else.” He rubbed the side of his mouth hard, as if he was thinking. “He told me about how he found you, that your father had phoned him. He didn’t even know how he had his number. He was about to meet the both of you at some sort of destination on the other side but you never made it, and then Herbert phoned saying that dragons were attacking and that you guys needed help.”

I nodded.

“He used to tell me about Fox way before your father found a way into the picture, and wondered if it wasn’t linked to you, but I told him it couldn’t. My father would’ve known. To be honest, it scared the living crap out of me, the way he spoke about you, the way it worried him.”

“Tanya told me about Fox, how many came and vowed to keep me safe.”

“Fox knew, Elena. He was older than Irene, at least three times her age.”

“He was a thousand years old.” I remember the guy of that night on Interstate 40. He looked in his mid-twenties.

“He wasn’t like Irene, he was dark. Didn’t want an alliance with the humans. We would never know what he did, but we can easily put two and two together. None of that mattered, though, as nobody born this side could leave—well, no human.”

He smiled softly. “That should’ve put some ease on my mind, but it didn’t. I lay in bed, wondering why the minute he brought you here, I woke up.”

This was intense. Was our bond really that strong?

“I wondered about that the entire night and the next day, I knew why.” A grin formed on his lips. “When you walked out of the cafeteria and stood next to Becky, in awe of everything around you, the feeling of what had taken place inside of me was so intense. It felt as if I was getting crushed, I couldn’t breathe, but I hid it from all the others, and I just knew. I didn’t even worry about how they’d gotten you to the other side. They were King Albert and Queen Catherine, the smartest people I ever knew. Everything that they’d done for me in the past, the warning glares, even the soft ones, it all made sense.”

“You saw me that day?” I remembered that day clearly. He’d stood out from all of them and I’d stared like an idiot.

He smiled as if he could read my mind. “Yes, and I have to say that little moment you had before Tabitha flipped you off, it was extremely hard not to look back, Elena.”

I felt so embarrassed. Of course he knew that I’d stared at him.

“Well the dick part of me knew about what had happened as Matt had told me everything. And I know I told you I didn’t know, but I did know that dragons attacked and that one was Fox. I wanted to scare you. I wanted you to lose your mind so that you wouldn’t gain confidence to do what it was you had to do. I wanted to break you.”

I swallowed hard as he said that, knowing that he’d lied, said that he didn’t know when I’d asked him back then.

“I was messed up back then, Elena. The dark had its claws inside of me already and I didn’t want you close to me.”

I stared at him with soft eyes. He was staring at the boulder again and then looked at me.

“Remember when I told you that Lucian made me sick whenever he was near? That light, that pure heart he carried, his good intentions.”

I nodded.

“It was worse with you, so I had to do everything in my power to make you keep your distance.”

“I made you sick?”

“It wasn’t like that. I don’t know how to explain it. It was pure hatred, because I knew who you were and I didn’t want to be claimed. I thought I didn’t need a rider and that the beatings would be so much better than you claiming me.”

I took a deep breath through my nostrils. I loved the honesty but I didn’t like that it was so direct, and coming from him, well it hurt knowing that I’d been right. He did hate my guts.

“When my mother told me that a Wyvern was attending Dragonia and claimed to be your dragon, I was out of my element. I knew that it would throw you off, but I also knew that Paul’s intentions were wrong. Still, I didn’t care.” He shook his head.

“Why are you…?”

“Just listen, you need to understand what it was you did for me, Elena.”

I nodded, but I really didn’t want to hear this.

“I watched how everyone started to trust him. It was like a game, one I loved so much. And then you just had to say THAT.”

“What?”

“That you were hearing a voice in your mind.” He shook his head. “I didn’t like that one bit and I had to know if it was mine, so I kept tabs on you, in class and in that one lecture about the Green-Vapor, well I knew the answer and I knew you didn’t, you couldn’t, so I sent it to you and of course you answered.” He smiled. “I can’t recall if I’ve ever felt so disgusted with everything we shared as I did that day.”

“Disgusted?”

He closed his eyes. “Elena, just listen.” He sounded slightly annoyed and I kept my mouth shut. He opened his eyes again. “I never wanted this. I am the Rubicon, for crying out loud.” He chuckled once. “They had to kill Quito because he couldn’t be tamed. And here they send me a girl that didn’t even know that dragons exist. You know how unworthy that felt?”

I could relate to that. Nicole had tried to claim me once, she wasn’t worthy either.

“But then out of the blue, Lucian told me the crazy mission you were planning after the King of Lion sword was stolen, and I had to go and see if you were serious about finding it. So I told him I would come with.”

He chuckled softly. “You pissed me off so much when you told me that no man could enter that cave, and I silently wished that you would fail, even if it meant that the sword would be lost, but then you came back out, seconds after you went in. I didn’t understand any of it. It was like you just couldn’t die, that fate was forcing this upon me.” He sounded frustrated, and spoke a lot using his hands. His voice fell octaves lower and he sounded calm again. “But it was also the first time I felt that you were worthy. Something I’d only felt with Lucian.” He sighed again.

“Still, I fought against this, as I didn’t want to become a pathetic lamb, to succumb and become someone’s property. I was the Rubicon, the baddest dragon out there.”

Yeah, so you’ve said a couple of times.
A part of me was pissed off with him. So many people had died. “So you lied to everyone, even to me that night when I asked you if maybe there was someone out there?”

He chuckled. “Didn’t you hear what I just said? I had to say that so that you wouldn’t put two and two together, Elena.”

I nodded.

“Lying to everyone wasn’t my biggest sin, and I fear one day you would discover all the shit I’ve done, you won’t want anything to do with me.”

I felt bad again for him. I would never judge him like that, or turn my back on him because of what he had done in the past, I’d killed three people for crying out loud.

“My dark side didn’t want you. It didn’t want to go back to being good, but I still carried a bit of good. That night, I didn’t know how much. But when that Dragonian stabbed you, I wanted to scream like Lucian because he was killing my last chance of fulfilling my destiny. I knew your axes would kill him because they had your blood all over them.” He looked at me. “Yeah, I believed Cheng’s theory too. Even if everyone thought it was far-fetched, to me it wasn’t. I knew your parents well and they were magical, Elena. I hope that one day you will get a chance to see the man your father is.”

I didn’t want to hope. I wanted to meet him for real so badly, but what were the chances? One of us was going to die. I didn’t want it to be him, and if it was me, I would never get to meet my dad for real.

“It became evident when your axes hit his chest and turned him into a pile of dust who you were. Even though I knew, I always had that doubt. It was why I didn’t think twice when it was all over to get you the help you needed.”

“Master Longwei told me about that. He said that you almost died flying so hard to get me back to Dragonia, and then you refused to let me thank you.”

He flinched as I said that. “Elena,” he said, rubbing his face. “It was the time I really regretted it.”

I huffed. I always knew he never really wanted to save me, but hearing it out loud was different.

“But at that moment I didn’t care because you were my last chance. My good side overpowered my bad side for the first time in a long time.”

The corners of my lips curved slightly as I remembered something else. “So whenever you were drunk…”

“I told you the beast in me was jolly, so yeah, I tried so many times to tell you, but thanks to my sister and knowing my bad intentions, I didn’t get a chance, and believe me I was so happy about that when I sobered up.”

I remembered all the times he’d gotten drunk. At the revealing of the King of Lion mission, when I’d found him behind me, at the camp. Where he’d actually told me but he couldn’t control his compulsion yet. That night he’d thrown rocks at Becky’s window. All attempts to tell me the truth. I felt so stupid now.

“So the second time at the Warbel games, you just had to save me again.”

“Yeah, and believe me, I was seriously getting tired of it.”

I nodded and swallowed hard.

“When I discovered that you drank Fire Powder and nothing happened, I knew that you were close to ascending, finding out who you really were.” I took a deep breath but he kept going on. “That was why I loved Paul so much, but I kept him close, trying to find out what his game was.” He looked at me again. “I didn’t even feel bad about all the times I had to act, asking everyone to help Lucian find out what could claim me, it was just another game. To see who was the smartest. I have to say, Professor Pheizer was hard to fool.”

“Professor Pheizer?”

He smiled. “Yeah, she had that knowing look on her face every time I entered her stupid classroom. It was filled with disgust. She even told me once that she was on to me.” His eyebrows rose and he puffed out a breath. “Scary times. You do not want to know the thoughts that went through my head, and when Lucian barged through the door after his quest, I knew he knew the truth. He asked me where you were and I told him you took a stroll with Paul, told him that you felt nothing for him because you’d kissed him.”

“You knew?”

He tapped his temple. “I knew.”

I wanted to cry. I knew Lucian had known about that, but Blake just confirmed how much Lucian knew.

“He didn’t care Elena, he just wanted to find you because he knew why Paul was here. I told him that you were in the cave up north and he begged me to come with. I thought it was my last chance to get rid of you and if I didn’t witness it, my good wouldn’t overpower my dark again and I would finally be free.”

Shit, he was such a selfish prick.

“And then he said it. That I knew nothing, and I would never know anything. He told me that I’d just broken his promise. He was never going to try claim me again. It didn’t even matter then. But Tabitha was shocked about it because she thought that Lucian was the only one that could claim me, so she begged and begged until I felt like I was going out of my mind so I went.”

Tabitha?

“Closer to the Cavern, I smelled the hippogriff. It was so strong and I went in. I saw a purple dragon, one I’d never seen before, and I saw Lucian’s body just lying there. I thought you were finally dead and the hippogriff disappeared. You knew my name and I just stood there. I didn’t understand, and when you said that it was you…” He stopped and bit his lower lip. “I couldn’t tell you how that made me feel. Hope was gone and it was as if I’d lost something huge that day. I eventually followed the hippogriff, lost her again and came back. When you begged me to help Lucian, I’d never felt so stupid. He was my best friend, Elena, and I never wanted anything to hurt him. I never in a million years thought that he would die. He was so indestructible, but it was the poison of the hippogriff that killed him.”

A stray tear ran down his face and I wanted to cry too.

He wiped it away. “I hated you more after that because I blamed you. That’s how messed up I was. I blamed you because it was you he’d fallen in love with. If you were not in his life, he would’ve never been in that cave. That was why I didn’t want to help you find your dragon when Master Longwei asked me. I knew that I would turn, I always knew, but for a short time, that hope that came with you, caused me to forget the consequences of me turning, and it all came back the minute you turned into a dragon. I knew that Goran was going to claim me, and I would destroy this world and all the people I cared for, which wasn’t much, but it was enough for me to commit suicide.”