Starting Over (8 page)

‘I'm so sorry,' I said and began to back out of the room. ‘I thought that Lee . . . well, you know what I thought . . .'

‘I think it's commendable that you came to her rescue,' said Mrs Maris. ‘Some people would pretend that they hadn't heard or would not have wanted to get involved, so good for you, India Jane.'

One of the pupils put up her hand to ask a question and Mrs Maris went over to her.

Zahrah came over to me. ‘And other people would have
known immediately that I am
not
a bully,' she said. ‘I find it insulting that you actually thought me capable of hurting anyone - especially Leela. She's my mate.'

‘I'm really, really sorry,' I said. I felt foolish and upset that I might have offended Zahrah. I wanted to get away. It must have shown on my face because when I turned to leave, Leela looked at me kindly, smiled and mock-strangled herself. It was exactly the sort of mad thing that Erin would have done and made me realise just how much I was missing her.

I made a swift exit and was heading for the cloakroom when someone behind tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see an earnest-looking girl with shoulder-length wavy ginger hair. She looked at me coldly. ‘India Jane?'

I nodded.

‘I saw you talking to Mr Bailey before.'

I nodded again.

‘I'm Andrea —'

‘Ward,' I finished for her. ‘Oh yes. Mr Bailey said that you'd done the scenery so far and —'

‘Yeah. I have. Two years running. I'm going to study it at college, which is why I don't appreciate newcomers waltzing in and taking my role. That's my thing and I was really looking forward to designing the scenery.
The Boy Friend
was
my
choice of show, did Bailey tell you that? And now I can't believe I won't get to do the sets. I had so many ideas.'

‘I didn't want to do it. I
don't
want to do it. It was all Mr Bailey's idea. Please, you can do it, you really can. I don't even
know the story of
The Boy Friend.
He said we could work together.'

‘No way. I'm not taking orders from someone in Year Eleven. Especially someone who's never done it before.'

‘I'll do what you want. Really I will,' I insisted. ‘Especially as you already have ideas of what to do. That's great.'

‘
Was
great, but Mr Bailey said I have to step aside and give someone else a chance. He knows what my ideas were and he's not going to like it if I make you do them, is he?'

‘I am so sorry,' I said.

‘Easy to say, isn't it?' she said as she turned on her heel and walked off. ‘You've ruined everything.'

What a totally excellent morning. Not,
I thought as I headed back up to the school library, where I intended to hide for the rest of the lunch break.
So much for starting over, I thought. Today's been even worse than yesterday and it's not even over yet! I might get one of those advertising sandwich boards that people wear over their shoulders. The front could say,
New girl, No mates
and the back could say,
Sorry, sorry, sorry.

‘So what exactly do you want?' asked Lewis on the Sunday after my first week, when we'd been talking about my role as a Molly No Mates over lunch.

I handed him the tub of mango ice cream from the freezer and he doled it out into four bowls. ‘Not a lot. Someone to hang out with.'

Mum frowned. ‘Hmmm. Think you'll find you want more than that, India.'

‘Yeah,' said Lewis. ‘It's like with relationships with girls. I want more than just someone to hang out with.'

‘So what do you want then?' I asked.

‘A supermodel with enormous knockers who has a degree in quantum physics, cooks like a celebrity chef and adores me.'

‘Yeah. Me too,' said Dylan.

Mum rolled her eyes up to the ceiling. ‘Lord, what have I raised?' she asked herself.

‘Got to aim high, India Jane,' said Lewis. ‘You know the saying, if you aim for the top of the tree, you'll get to the lower branches . . .'

‘If you aim for the stars, you'll reach the top of the tree,' I said. I knew the quote well as it was one of Dad's favourites.

‘Make a list,' said Mum. ‘It's always good to be clear about what you want. Friendships that you make when you're a teenager can last you a lifetime. They're very important - your friends can be there through all the highs and lows that life can bring.' She got up and handed me a piece of paper. ‘Come on. Write down what you want in a friend.'

‘I don't know, Mum. What did you ever want in a friend?'

Mum looked thoughtful for a few moments. ‘Someone who lets me be myself. Actually your dad is my best friend, which is why I miss him so much. With all the travelling, I never really developed lasting friends outside of the family. I always had you lot to occupy my time, and then there was Sarah here if ever I wanted a girl to talk to . . . but she's always out, on business. In fact, like you, India, I really need to make some new friends of my own.'

It hadn't occurred to me that Mum might be lonely as she was always so cheerful but listening to her made me realise, of course, that she was missing Dad like I was missing Erin.

I stared at the paper.
Someone who
... I started to write. I didn't get any further as the doorbell went and Ethan burst in
with a twin under either arm. He looked red and flustered and like he hadn't slept for a week.

‘I have to go to the supermarket and I'm not taking these two again, so please can you babysit? Anyone?'

‘Why don't you want to take them with you?' asked Dylan as Ethan set the girls down on the floor.

Ethan snorted. ‘Last time I took them shopping, they started auditioning for roles in
The Exorcist
- Eleanor puked over the organic veg and Lara started screaming the place down. They totally freaked out some of the customers. No. When we're out, we are officially the family that everyone wants to get away from. Please, anyone . . . ?'

‘I've got homework,' said Dylan.

‘I'm too irresponsible,' said Lewis.

‘Put the girls in the fridge,' sniggered Dylan. ‘We can have twin popsicles later.'

‘Or we could boil them,' said Lewis. ‘Twin brain is a delicacy in some countries, you know.'

Eleanor and Lara squealed and hid behind Ethan's legs.

Mum rolled her eyes. ‘Honestly, why do you start acting like twelve-year-olds when you get together?'

‘Because I
am
twelve,' said Dylan.

‘And I'm emotionally retarded,' said Lewis.

Ethan looked pleadingly at me. ‘I'll give you a fiver,' he said.

‘Done,' I said. Art could wait.

And that was the end of my friendship list and my afternoon.

* * *

The following week flew by and I found that catching up on my schoolwork was taking up the majority of my time and focus. Despite my best efforts in the time that was left, the friendship situation was still in crisis - apart from Mikey, who I'd discovered lived in the next street from me. Some mornings or evenings, he'd catch up with Dylan and me and walk into school with us. On Friday, he saw that I was looking down as we filed out of the school gates and he offered to buy me a hot chocolate in the local Starbucks.

‘So tell Uncle Mikey all,' he said after we'd got our drinks and bagged the sofa on the left of the café.

‘I'm not going to snog you,' I said. ‘So you can drop the agony aunt routine.'

Mikey did a face of surprise horror.
‘Moi?
Think I'd try that stunt on a bright girl like you?'

‘Yeah. I have brothers, you know. I know what kind of tricks boys can get up to.'

Mikey laughed. ‘OK, OK, but seriously, how's your week been? I am interested.
Really. You
were saying before - hard to find friends?'

‘Yeah. It's not for lack of trying,' I said.

‘You need to do an activity where you can get to know people naturally,' he suggested as he took a sip of his drink and, without realising, gave himself a chocolate moustache.

‘Like what?' I asked.

‘Chess or ice-skating,' he replied and then noticed me looking at the chocolate on his lip. ‘What?'

‘Chocolate all over your lip,' I said.

He stuck out his tongue and licked the chocolate off, then wiped his lip with the back of his hand.

I pulled a face. ‘Hmm. Remind me to eat out in public with you again.'

Mikey shrugged and grinned. ‘So? Chess or ice-skating?'

‘I'm crap at both. I get my knights mixed up with my bishops, and the only time I ever tried ice-skating I fell flat on my bum after five minutes and have had a recurring nightmare ever since that, while flat on my back, someone skates over my fingers and slices them off. Freaky.'

‘OK. So what else? Try after-school activities, that's a great way to meet people.'

‘I tried hockey on Wednesday. The hockey club were looking for new players for the team. I missed a number of balls then hit a cracker into the captain's right leg. Needless to say, I wasn't picked.'

Mikey grimaced. ‘Early days.'

‘I guess. I did meet someone on the way to school on Monday. You'd gone in already. Grace. She dropped her travelcard and I picked it up and ran after her. I thought that we might be mates until we got to the school gates, where another girl was waiting for her. She gave me a filthy look, linked arms with Grace and hauled her off. Like, two's company, three's a crowd.'

‘Girls can be like that. Anybody else?'

‘In media studies, I was partnered with a girl called Holly. She was great, really chatty, but I soon realised that if I spent more
than half an hour with her, I'd have to kill her. She was fun but had the LOUDEST voice. And no attention span. Like I'd be telling her something and she'd be looking over my shoulder, clearly not listening.'

Mikey looked over my shoulder. ‘Sorry, what were you saying?' he said. ‘Only joking. I was listening. Sounds like you've had a crap week . . . Oh God, there's more?'

I nodded. ‘You
did
ask. I met someone in maths. We hung out for a couple break times together. She was nice until a boy appeared - any boy - and then she'd turn her back on me and start acting really weird, like Miss Cutie Cue, twirling her hair in her fingers and pouting and talking in a little girlie lispy voice that made me want to slap her.'

‘Poor you. Er . . . what was her name?'

‘Mikey! Don't tell me you fall for that girlie-girl act?'

‘Me? No? Course not . . . Er, OK. What class is she in?'

I gave him a light pinch on his upper arm. At that moment, Chloe Fitzgerald from our class waved at us from the queue at the counter.

‘There. She looks like she wants to be friends,' said Mikey.

‘Maybe, she was really nice to me yesterday lunchtime, but it came out that she'd been talking to someone who had been talking to my cousin Kate and had found out that my dad was a count. She already knew that Kate's mum was Sarah Rosen —'

‘Of the über-trendy shops?'

I nodded. ‘I soon realised that she didn't want me as a mate,
she wanted to get in with my family.'

‘Chloe can be a bit like that. Bit of a social climber. Always wanting to get in with whoever she thinks might be somebody.'

‘I should have told her that although my dad has a title, his family hasn't had any money for years because some ancient relative gambled it away and we're totally cash poor. It's only my aunt who has the dosh.'

‘That's why I want to hang out with you,' said Mikey. ‘I am really after your aunt, as I like older women and they like me and my boyish charm, don't you know.'

‘Yeah. Aunt Sarah really goes for guys who get chocolate moustaches on their upper lips when they're out. Mikey, be serious. My life is in crisis.'

Mikey made his expression go serious and he looked over at me as if I'd told him I had an hour to live. It made me laugh. Chloe was joined at the counter by another girl I'd met during the week. I nudged Mikey. ‘Do you know her?'

He nodded. ‘Ella. No sense of humour.'

‘Tell me about it. Sense of humour is high on my list of friendship requirements.'

‘Mine too. That and enormous knockers.'

I rolled my eyes. ‘You sound like my stupid brothers.'

‘I'll take that as a compliment.'

‘What about Nicole and Ruby in our class?' I asked. ‘They look like fun.'

Mikey pulled a face. ‘You could do better,' he said. ‘They're a pair of spoiled princesses.'

I smiled.
Out of your league,
I thought, but I didn't say it. It felt good to be sitting in the café having a gossip with him, and I began to realise that I wasn't as alone as I'd thought I was. I had the beginning of a friendship with him. If only he wasn't being so nice in the hope that I'd go out with him, because that was never going to happen. As we were chatting, I decided that, from then on, I wasn't going to try so hard to find friends. I was going to relax and be cooler about it.