Starting Over (10 page)

Alex followed
Eve’s car back to the inn, wishing she hadn’t insisted on driving.
In her fragile emotional state, getting distracted would be too
easy. He was surprised she hadn’t hired a car. Had he known she’d
overlooked that detail, he would have tended to it himself. He
would do so many things differently if only he had the chance.
Sighing, he found a place to park in the inn’s crowded parking lot.
He cut the engine of his luxury rental car and watched Dan get out
of his truck and walk over to Eve’s car. Alex had seen him at the
church, but Dan had kept a reasonable distance, obviously not
wanting to add to Eve’s distress.

Watching them
embrace wasn’t easy. The longing on the other man’s face was
painfully evident, perhaps because Alex finally understood how it
felt to ache for a woman just out of reach. If he didn’t despise
Dan so much, he might even feel a modicum of sympathy for Eve’s
former boyfriend. All those years couldn’t have been easy for him,
wrestling with his feelings while he watched the woman he loved
living the life he fantasized about with another man.

“I don’t know
how you can stand to watch that,” Tonya said, leaning forward in
the backseat. “It’s so obvious he wants her.”

Their mother
glared at her daughter from the passenger seat. “Tonya, now is not
the time.”

Alex had been
so caught up in his own thoughts, he’d almost forgotten his mother
and sister were in the car.

“When would be
a good time, Mom?” Tonya’s eyes narrowed as she watched Dan take
Eve’s hand and lead her up to the inn. “When it’s too late? When
the divorce is final?”

“It’s your
brother’s life,” Marianne said, closing her hand over Alex’s. “It’s
his marriage in jeopardy. He’s the one who has to decide how he
wants to handle this.”

Tonya patted
Alex’s shoulder. “I know I was a little rough on you the other day.
I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I
understand.” Alex watched his wife disappear on the arm of another
man, and he knew no matter how long he lived, he would never get
used to the sight of her with someone else. “It’s hard on all of
us.”

“Please don’t
let her do this,” Tonya whispered, gripping her brother’s shoulder.
“It’s so obvious she’s still in love with you. She just needs you
to prove that you’re willing to put her first for a change.”

For a
change.
“Don’t pull any punches, sis.”

“If someone
doesn’t let you have it, it’s going to be too late,” she said
frantically. “Why can’t you see that? You’re running out of
time!”

“I know that,
god damn it!” Alex shouted, slamming his open palm against the
steering wheel. “You think I’m not freaking out about it? Trust me,
I am.” Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and tipped his head
back against the leather headrest.

Marianne
inclined her head toward the inn’s front door, giving her daughter
a pointed look. She waited for Tonya to leave. “I take it Eve
intends to stay here and run the inn?”

“That’s her
plan, Mom.” Alex looked at the sprawling white building, white
wraparound porches, and colorful blooms overflowing from pots and
lining stone pathways. With the expansive lake as a backdrop, it
was exceptional, the perfect place for Eve to start her life anew,
to find peace and purpose and joy. Could he really try to take that
away from her? Was he selfish enough to try to convince her to
return to a home where her spirit was slowly dying? The inn was a
real home, warmth filling every nook and cranny, carefully selected
antiques and handmade scatter rugs giving it the comfortable feel
their guests loved.

“And what’s
your plan?” she asked, smiling when Eve’s mother passed their
car.

“I honestly
don’t know,” he said quietly. “Part of me says to fight like hell
to keep her in my life, and the other part says I need to love her
enough to let her go so she can be happy.”

Marianne
nodded. “That is quite a dilemma. You don’t think she could be
happy with you in the city?”

“No. This is
her home.” He watched an elderly couple walk up the stairs, hand in
hand, and he remembered a time when he thought that would be him
and Eve someday. In his worst nightmares, he’d never believed their
relationship could get so bad. “These people are like family to
her.”

“Your sister is
right about one thing, son. Eve still loves you.”

“I know.” He’d
felt it when she kissed him the other night. Even if she hadn’t
said it, he would have known. “I love her too, more than ever. But
I can’t help but think too much time has passed. Too much has
happened.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what the
hell to do anymore. I don’t mean to take it out on you and Tonya.
None of this is your fault.”

“Don’t make any
decisions you might regret. Ask Eve for a little more time.”

“I tried that.
I think she just wants to put our marriage behind her so she can
move on.” When his mother didn’t respond, he looked at her. She was
obviously holding back. “What are you thinking?”

“I hate to
bring this up—I know it’s a sore subject—but do you think she’s so
anxious to move on because of Dan? I know they’re close.”

He wanted to
deny it, to tell his mother his wife couldn’t love another man the
way she loved him, but he had to admit the thought had occurred to
him more times than he could count. “She said they’re just friends,
but I think it’s pretty obvious how he feels about her.”

“Yes, it is.”
Marianne sighed and reached for the door handle. “Are you going to
be staying here after the service?”

“Eve doesn’t
want me here. She asked me to leave a few days ago.” He’d been
apprehensive about coming to the service, but his affection for
Sharon and his concern for Eve convinced him it was the right thing
to do.

“And you always
do what she asks you to do?” Marianne asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Seems to me if you had, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Thanks, Mom,”
he muttered. “You really know how to kick a guy when he’s
down.”

Marianne’s hand
fell away from the door. She turned to give her son a hard stare
that reminded him she had been the disciplinarian while he was
growing up. “You expect sympathy from me?”

“No, I
just—”

Her voice
hardened. “You’re my son and I love you, but you screwed up, and
I’m not going to let you off the hook.”

Alex curled his
hand around the steering wheel. If anyone else had called him out
like that, he would have let them have it. But that wasn’t an
option with his mother. He could still hear his father preaching
about respecting his mother. “I’m not asking you to. I admit I
screwed up. If I could fix things, I would.”

“In so many
ways, you are your father’s son. But in other ways, you’re nothing
like him. Hugh was a remarkable man,” Marianne said, staring at a
weeping willow hanging over the walkway to the lake. “I fell in
love with him the first time I saw him, and with every day that
passed, I loved him just a little more. For the husband and father
he was, and the friend he was. He gave until he had nothing left to
give. He expected a lot of the people around him, but he expected
even more from himself.”

“I know.” Alex
had idolized his father growing up. He followed him everywhere,
mimicking him and wanting to be just like him. Alex’s father had
always encouraged him to be the best he could be at everything he
did. Whether it was school or sports, he always told Alex to give
it everything he had. Alex lived by that motto. In business and in
life, he always strived to be the best, just to make the old man
proud. His father had been the easy-going, jovial type. Everyone
liked and respected him because he’d built an international company
from nothing. Alex, on the other hand, had to work twice as hard,
being as merciless as his father was gracious, to earn respect for
his business acumen.

“He did what he
did because he loved it, not because he felt he had something to
prove.”

Alex sensed his
mother was trying to tell him something in the words left unsaid.
“Are you saying you think I have something to prove?”

“Don’t you?
Isn’t that why you work so hard?”

“I’m working so
hard because this company is Dad’s legacy. He started with nothing,
and now we have hundreds of thousands of square feet of
manufacturing space in three countries. We employ thousands of
people. I’d like to think I was a part of that.” He didn’t mean to
sound so defensive, but sometimes he felt his mother and sister had
no idea how hard he worked.

“You are a part
of that,” Marianne said, smiling wistfully at her son. “I think
your father hoped we would pass this company on to the next
generation.”

Alex felt that
comment like a drop-kick to the stomach. It reminded him of the
baby Eve wanted… the baby they would never have. His sister would
surely marry and have children in the not-too-distant future. Her
children might take an interest in the company their grandfather
loved. “Maybe we will pass the torch someday.”

“I don’t want
that for my grandchildren. Not after seeing what the business has
done to you.”

“What are you
talking about?”

“It’s taken
everything you love.” She tightened her hands into fists then
loosened them. “I told Hugh so many times I didn’t think this was
the right path for you, but you were so adamant, and he so wanted
you to be a part of the business.”

Alex thought
about James’s comments. He’d said he wasn’t the same man Eve fell
in love with, that his obsession with his work was the reason she
wanted to divorce him. Alex knew he would have been home more if
not for his determination to prove he could take their company to
new heights. He would have been ready to start a family, knowing
he’d be home for dinner every night, there to coach Little League
on weekends. Instead, his life consisted of one hotel room and
airport after another. He didn’t want to have a child who barely
recognized him.

“I should have
spoken up sooner. I should have encouraged you to follow your own
path,” Marianne said, looking forlorn. “I can’t help but feel I’m
partially to blame for this.”

“You’re not,”
Alex said quickly, reaching for her hand. He hated to see her cry
almost as much as he hated to see Eve cry. “Please don’t blame
yourself. The only person responsible for the choices I’ve made is
me.”

With a heavy
sigh, Marianne said, “I hope you figure this out, Alex.” She leaned
in to kiss his cheek. “If you need any help, you know I’m always
here.”

Eve had said good-bye
to the last of their guests when Alex slipped an arm around her
waist. He whispered in her ear, “Why don’t we go outside for a bit?
There’s a beautiful sunset, and it looks like you could use a
break.”

Watching the
sun set was one of Sharon’s favorite pastimes, and Eve couldn’t
think of a better way to cap off the evening. The reception hadn’t
been the solemn affair she’d feared it might be. Alex had
captivated the group by telling amusing stories about Sharon. The
crowd joined in, and it turned into a wonderful remembrance with
tears of joy instead of tears of sadness.

She allowed him
to slide his hand into hers as they chose a meandering stone path
that led to two pale yellow Adirondack chairs. Knowing it would
likely be the last time they shared an intimate moment made her
heart ache, but holding on to the past wouldn’t help her start a
new life. It was time to let go so they could find their happily
ever afters. She squeezed his hand and said, “Thank you for what
you did today. It was exactly what Aunt Sharon would have
wanted.”

“I thought it
would help you and everyone else to remember the good times.” He
gave her a sidelong glance. “And there were a lot of good times,
Eve. Don’t let yourself forget those.”

“I won’t.”

He gave her a
long, lingering look, and she knew he was thinking about all the
good times they’d shared too. As soon as they sat down, it was like
being transported back in time. She knew he’d chosen that spot for
a reason. After they’d been dating for a few months, she’d invited
Alex to dinner at the inn. After a wonderful meal in the dining
room, they excused themselves so Eve could show Alex the grounds.
They got caught up kissing and forgot they weren’t alone until they
heard Sharon clearing her throat behind them. Getting caught up in
the magic with Alex was so easy back then, when he made her feel as
if she was the most important person in his world.

“I always loved
this place,” Alex said, gazing out over the water. A fishing boat
was tying up at a neighboring dock, and he watched intently as the
group carried their gear away, laughing and no doubt embellishing
stories about their catch of the day. “That’s why I wanted to get
married here. I felt like this was where it all began for us. I
knew I loved you before, but when I saw you in your element, with
Sharon, that’s when I really started to imagine a future with
you.”

Eve closed her
eyes, remembering how she’d felt that night. After she walked Alex
to his car and kissed him good night, she went back inside to find
out whether her aunt approved of her new boyfriend. She already
knew he was
the one
, but she wanted to know that Sharon saw
the same wonderful qualities in him that she did. Sharon told her
the only thing that mattered was that Alex was clearly in love with
her and her with him.

“What are you
thinking?” he asked, rolling his head to the side to look at her.
He’d shed his jacket, taken off his tie, and rolled up his sleeves
hours ago. He looked like a relaxed version of the
GQ
model
who took her breath away when he stepped out of the car.

“I was thinking
about that night… the first time I brought you home.” She smiled.
“Sharon loved you, just like I knew she would. I couldn’t wait for
you two to meet.”