Starting Over (6 page)

Eve stared at
the big bold letters at the top of the page: Petition for Divorce.
“I… uh…” She’d told Alex their marriage was over, but Morris was
proposing she take the next step and she was getting cold feet.

“We don’t have
to file until you’re ready. Take all the time you need to think
about it.” He stood up, closing his briefcase. “I’m sure you’ll
have some questions for me once you’ve had a chance to review
everything. I wanted to wait to deal with this until after the
service, but Sharon was adamant that she wanted you to understand
where things stood as soon as possible.”

Eve stood to
walk Morris out. “Thank you for coming. I’m sure I’ll be in touch
soon.”

He gave her a
hug. “Hazel and I will be at the service. If you need anything,
don’t hesitate to call.”

“Thanks,
Morris. I will.”

“I can show
myself out.” He gestured at the sealed envelope on the desk. “Given
everything I’ve just laid on you, I’m sure you’re anxious to learn
what your aunt was thinking when she set this whole thing in
motion.”

“I am.”

“Don’t let me
keep you.”

Eve closed the
door with a heavy sigh and leaned her back against the solid wood
as she stared at the documents littering the desktop. Her aunt’s
decisions had changed her life, and she couldn’t decide how she
felt. A part of her was honored that her aunt felt Eve was capable
of filling her shoes, but another part of her was a little
resentful she didn’t get to choose her future for herself.

She took
tentative steps toward the desk, anxious to hear what her aunt
wanted to say and afraid she may be overcome with emotion listening
to Sharon’s last words. She didn’t know when the video had been
recorded. She hoped her vital and vibrant aunt appeared on the
screen instead of the weak, frail shadow of herself that the cancer
had reduced her to.

Inhaling
deeply, she looked at the vacant chair. If her aunt wanted Eve to
take over the business and carry on with her plans in her memory,
Eve decided she would have to get comfortable with the role. There
seemed no better place to start than Sharon’s favorite chair. She
settled in and closed her eyes, picturing her aunt hammering away
at her keyboard. Her soft gray ponytail would be in disarray, her
silver-framed glasses perched on her nose, as she went from
scowling to smiling and back again. All in a day’s work, she used
to say, claiming her characters always knew how to put her through
the emotional wringer.

When she opened
her eyes, Eve spotted her wedding photo to the left of Sharon’s
computer monitor. She and Alex had been so happy, so in love, and
unable to imagine life tearing them apart. But without question,
that’s what had happened. Alex had gotten caught up in running his
family’s company, leaving Eve alone to find her own place in his
world. Except she never did. She filled her days with freelance
editing work that she found satisfying for a while, volunteered
when she was asked, but something was always missing. She’d thought
it was a baby, but she realized it was more than that. She missed
the person she used to be.

Setting the
photo back on the desk, she forced herself to face reality. Even if
Sharon hadn’t asked her to stay on at the inn, Eve wouldn’t have
returned to New York. As much as she loved Alex, her life with him
was empty, and she couldn’t go on that way. She deserved the rich,
full life she’d always dreamed about. Maybe running her aunt’s inn
would be her second chance.

Turning on the
computer, she inserted the memory stick and waited. She held her
breath as she followed the prompts and waited for Sharon’s image to
fill the small screen. When it did, Eve finally exhaled. Sharon
looked beautiful in a green, blue, and lavender blouse. Her sleek
silver bob was tamed into submission, and she was even wearing pale
pink lip gloss. She’d gone to a lot of effort to look her best. She
must have known that’s how her niece would want to remember
her.

“Hey,
sunshine.” She smiled, her face lighting up the darkness
surrounding Eve. “If you’re watching this, that means I’m gone. But
I’m not really. I hope you know that. I’m there with you, honey. I
always will be.”

Eve reached for
a tissue from the box on the corner of the desk. Balling it up, she
promised herself she would get through the tape without crying.

“I know you’ve
had a talk with Morris by now, so he’s told you about my will.”
Raising her laced hands, she stared into the camera with the same
intensity Eve remembered. “You may think I was presumptuous to
assume you would leave your life in New York to come back home, but
we both know you weren’t happy there.” She leaned back in the
swivel chair Eve occupied, looking relaxed and comfortable. “If I
thought you were, I never would have asked you to do this.”

Eve had tried
to put on a brave face with her aunt, pretending all was well in
her corner of the world, but she wasn’t surprised Sharon had seen
through her act. She was the most perceptive person Eve knew, which
was one of the many qualities that made her an exceptional
writer.

“I had such
high hopes for you,” Sharon continued. “I knew you could be
anything you wanted to be.”

Eve thought for
a moment about some of her childhood fantasies. She’d wanted to
teach English as a second language, travel the world, learn about
different cultures, help build a school in an underprivileged
village… yet she’d never stepped out of her comfort zone long
enough to do any of those things.

“But then you
met Alex, and it was like all of your dreams revolved around him.”
Sharon sighed. “That made me so sad. I wanted so much more for you.
I wanted you to love yourself as much as you loved him, to believe
in yourself as much as you believed in him.”

Eve paused the
video. Was Sharon’s claim true? Had she loved and believed in Alex
more than she’d ever loved and believed in herself? She was almost
ashamed to admit it, but she feared her aunt may be right. She’d
encouraged Alex to pursue his M.B.A. knowing he would excel at it,
as he did at everything else. When she considered getting a
graduate degree, she talked herself out of it, claiming she might
do it when the time was right. Pressing the button to resume the
video, she sat back, determined to listen intently to her aunt’s
final words of wisdom, knowing they could provide the insight she
needed to help her rebuild her shattered life.

“Don’t get me
wrong, Eve. I love Alex. I think he’s a wonderful man, and I know
he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he’s right for you. You can
love someone with your whole heart whose life is just on a
different path. I think that may be the case with you and Alex. He
has his priorities, and I can respect that because my work was my
top priority, with the exception of you, of course.”

Eve smiled.
Sharon had always made her feel like the most important person in
her life. She could only hope she’d thanked her often enough while
she had the chance.

“You’re home
now. This is the place I watched you come to life as an aimless
pre-teen. You built a wonderful life for yourself here. You came
into your own and developed a sense of strength and confidence that
was a sight to behold.” Sharon smiled. “That’s the reason I did
what I did, honey. I’m not trying to control your life or
manipulate you. I just want you to find your way back to that
beautiful, strong, fearless girl you used to be.”

A tear slid
down Eve’s cheek, and she caught it with the corner of the tissue.
Her aunt was right. That girl was so far gone that sometimes the
old Eve almost seemed like a figment of her imagination.

“I’ve given you
a lot of challenges—with the expansion project and the
foundation—but I know you’re up to it…” Sharon looked into the
camera as though she was looking into Eve’s eyes. “That’s if you
choose to accept the challenge. I would never want you to do this
because you feel obligated. You may feel you owe me, but the truth
is, I owe you. You were too young to remember that I used to be
where you are now. I was a shell of a woman with creativity locked
inside of me that I couldn’t set free no matter how hard I tried. I
attempted so many things: sculpting, painting, photography…” She
laughed that robust laugh Eve loved so much. “It was one disaster
after another, believe me. Once I learned to stop caring what other
people thought and decided to be true to myself, I found my voice,
and needless to say, I haven’t shut up since.”

Eve smiled,
wishing with all of her heart that she could hug Sharon just one
more time.

“You helped me
with that, Eve. When you were born, I watched you all the time. I
was fascinated by how uninhibited you were. That’s when I realized
that’s how we’re supposed to be. Babies don’t care how loud they
cry or whether their shorts match their shirts.” She grinned. “They
don’t care if they fall on their ass time and again because they
know eventually they’ll learn how to stand on their own two feet.
It’s time for you to learn how to do that, sunshine. Learn how to
stand on your own two feet because trust me, you are stronger than
you ever dreamed you were.” Sharon blew a kiss toward the screen
with both hands. “Wherever life takes you, follow your own path.
Make your mark, and love with your whole heart. Until we meet
again, just remember, I’m always with you, and I’ll always love you
with
my
whole heart.”

By the time the
screen went black, Eve was sobbing into her hands.

Alex peeked his
head in the door. “Hey, are you okay? I was just walking by and…”
He stopped speaking when he saw her. “What the hell happened?”

Pointing at the
screen, she whispered, “My aunt’s lawyer gave me a video message
from her. I was just watching it.”

Stepping into
the room, Alex closed the door. “Maybe it was too soon for that,
sweetheart.”

“No, it was
good for me.” She took a deep breath and braced her hands on the
arms of the chair. “Aunt Sharon knew exactly what to say to help me
find the clarity I needed.”

His gray eyes
were wide with hope or fear—she couldn’t tell—and he asked, “What
does that mean?”

“Sit down,
Alex.” Eve knew it was going to be the most difficult conversation
she’d ever had, but there was no doubt in her mind… it was time.
She watched his jerky movements, fear displacing his easy
confidence, and she realized she was doing him a favor by setting
him free.

“Jesus, don’t
look at me like that.”

“Like what?”
she asked, shaking her head.

“Like you’re
about to read me my last rites.”

Her news may
feel that way, like an ending instead of a beginning, but in time,
he would realize it was for the best. He would find someone
wonderful who fit into his world. Her mind flipped through images
from the past. The twelve years she’d spent with Alex were some of
the happiest and saddest of her life, but she wouldn’t have traded
a single day with him for a lifetime with anyone else. “You were
the right man at the right time.”

“I don’t want
to hear you talking about me or our marriage in the past tense,” he
said, shifting in his seat. “I want to figure out how we’re going
to move forward… together.”

She believed
that’s what he wanted, but only because he felt guilty he hadn’t
given her or their marriage the time and attention it deserved. But
if she returned with him, she knew nothing would change. He would
still be an absentee husband, and she would still be a miserable,
lonely wife looking for fulfillment by peeing on a plastic stick
once a month and praying for a miracle.

“I’m afraid
that’s not going to happen,” she said, praying her voice didn’t
betray her. Alex was an indomitable businessman used to railroading
people if necessary. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to
stand up to him if he fought her decision. “I’ve decided to stay
here. My aunt has left me the inn, and she’d like me to move
forward with her expansion plans.”

For the first
time since he’d entered the office, Alex glanced at the papers
Morris had left on the desk. “Surely your aunt didn’t suggest you
leave me so you could move back here and—”

“She suggested
I do what makes me happy, and that’s what I intend to do.”

His handsome
face tightened as his brows drew closer. “You’re
not
leaving
me.”

It was a
statement, not a question, and that set Eve on edge. She knew Alex
would resist when she finally asked for a divorce, but she’d hoped
he would agree it was for the best and decide to let her go without
too much of a fight. Apparently he had other ideas. “Alex, I don’t
want to hurt you. This doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out affair.
We don’t share children, and I don’t want anything from the house
or—”

“You think this
is about some settlement?” he asked, raising his voice. “After what
we shared last night—”

“I told you,
that shouldn’t have happened.” She’d hoped he wouldn’t remind her
of her moment of weakness last night, but apparently he was
determined not to fight fair.

“It happened
because you wanted me as much as I wanted you.” He got up and came
around the desk, his eyes dark and his fists at his sides. Turning
her chair around, he braced his hands on the desk behind her, his
eyes holding her captive. His face was mere inches from hers. “We
didn’t just have sex last night, Eve. We made love. You admitted
you’re still in love with me. As far as I’m concerned, that means
we still have something worth fighting for.”

“But I—” Eve
licked her lips, wishing those memories weren’t still reeling
thorough her mind, making it difficult for her to deny his
claim.

“I love
you.”

Those three
little words still had the power to make her melt. The first time
he’d said it, they were at a night club with friends, slow dancing
to their favorite song, and he whispered those three little words
in her ear. She practically floated home and told her college
roommate she’d found the man she wanted to spend the rest of her
life with.