I thought of Duncan’s last sentence and the look in his eyes this morning. “So far.”
“Good deal,” he said, patting my arm and walking away.
“Yeah, run away before the topic comes back to you.”
“Love you,” he said, holding up two fingers.
• • •
The next day I was like a cat on a hot tin roof. I was disappointed in myself for blowing Duncan off the night before. I mean, the guy bowed up to his uncle for me, basically swore never to leave me, and even formed a kind of truce with Ian. For me. You’d think I’d be all over him. He probably thought that too. But no. I wanted some alone time, I told him. Just some quiet time to read or whatever. Which I didn’t do. I sat around flipping through TV shows I wasn’t watching and thinking too much.
I was a troll. And I didn’t even know why.
It was like I was pushing Duncan away before he could garner any power to hurt me. And I wasn’t proud of myself for that. So in the interest of avoiding Ian as well, I bought coffee at a Starbucks I had to drive out of the way to reach, and went straight to work.
I didn’t even go to my office, except to toss my keys on the desk. I paced the showroom floor for a while. I couldn’t just sit and post pictures or monitor bids or read my email. I just couldn’t be that still. So I wandered around the showroom, making notes of certain items I might have buyers for that I hadn’t thought about previously. I moved displays around all day long and changed up the scenery a little. Here, I’d been fighting for something I wasn’t even looking at anymore, and I missed it. It felt good to be out there with all the stuff instead of behind the computer. It had been too long.
“Haven’t seen you play out here in a while,” Dad said. I turned in place to see him leaning on the horse stall railing with a root beer in his hand. “I like the changes.”
“Man, some of these things I forgot we even had,” I said, tucking a stray lock of hair back behind my ear. “These Belleek china pieces need to go in a case till I can get them sold,” I said, pointing to the tiny delicate white pieces sitting on a shelf. “I’ll list them tomorrow.” I looked around the room. “I’ve gotten complacent with what’s right here in front of me. No more.”
“Glad to hear it,” Dad said, taking a long swallow. “Because I just called Miss Slade and told her it was a no-go.”
Goose bumps and tears welled up instantly. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
I jogged across the floor and threw my arms around his neck, squealing like I was ten and he’d just promised me I could drive his tractor. Except that I wasn’t ten and I nearly knocked him down. Still, he recovered nicely.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said, blinking tears away.
“Hey, Savi girl,” he said, rubbing my back. “Just does my heart good that you love this place.”
I pulled back and leveled a look at him. “Didn’t do your heart good a few days ago.”
“Well, that’s when I thought you might get swindled,” he said.
“You realize we probably haven’t heard the end of this, right?” I said. “I mean, Bobby Greene tends to go back on his deals when he gets a better one.”
Dad nodded. “That’s okay,” he said. “We have insurance to wave if we have to.” He looked down his nose at me. “I’m proud of you.”
“I didn’t really do anything, Dad.”
He shook his head. “For standing your ground. For not taking the easy way and selling like I was pushing on you.”
“Well, I’m proud of you for finally listening to reason,” I said.
He laughed. “And Ian McMasters?”
“Ah, crap,” I muttered. “Really?”
“Really.”
“He’s a man. Lily’s brother-in-law. Cooks a mean piece of bacon and lives in Key West.”
“And you feel how?” he pressed.
“That he lives in Key West,” I reiterated.
Dad narrowed his eyes. “I never liked him much, you know.”
I blew out a breath. “Yep, we’ve covered that,” I said.
“But when do I get to come over and have dinner with the good Dr. Spoon?”
That brought a reluctant smile to my face as I imagined that. And I could totally picture it. Sunday dinners with Dad coming over to watch football. Did Duncan like football? No matter, because Dad would tell him to like it. And Gracie could get Ella dirty.
I got a body shiver as that image made everything inside me go warm and gushy. This was new.
“I’ll, um, I’ll work on that,” I said. “Though it’s kind of early for that, probably.”
“Too early to eat?”
Glorious. “Should we talk about Mrs. Sullivan now?”
“No,” he said quickly, backing up from me as if the contact might ignite that topic further.
“Although actually we should . . .” I began.
“Work to do, Savi,” he said, heading back to the stairs. “Getting late, too, shouldn’t you be going?”
“Shouldn’t you?” I called after him.
“I will later,” he said. “Want to finish getting the timing right on this clock.”
“Mm-hmm,” I said under my breath. “You big wuss.”
“Heard that.”
“Wasn’t hiding it,” I retorted.
My phone rang in my pocket, and I pressed the green button when I saw it was my Abby.
“Hey, boo,” I said.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m sending you a picture of a dress. Need your opinion.”
“Wow, hi, how are you?” I said.
“Sorry, I’m in a dressing room,” she said. “I just have a moment.”
“Um, okay, what’s up?” I said.
“I need to know if this looks good for a fancy policemen’s ball kind of dinner,” she said. “Did you get it?”
My phone made a whooshing sound and a text and photo of her came up. It took my breath away, looking at my Abby in all her beautiful feminine blonde curls, holding it up off her neck with one hand and taking a selfie in a full-length mirror with the other. She had on a deep royal blue strapless tea-length dress with rhinestones outlining the bodice. She looked like a princess.
“Holy crap, Abby, that is to die for,” I said. “Especially if you put your hair up like that.”
“That’s what I was thinking too,” she said excitedly, reminding me of when she was little. “So you think a yes?”
“Definitely a yes,” I said. “When is this shindig?”
“Shindig, Mom?” she said. “Just when I think you’re cool, out comes Poppy.”
I sighed. “Yeah, well.”
“It’s this weekend, and I’m so nervous,” she said. “It’s kind of a big deal, meeting all his coworkers and stuff. The other wives.”
“Other wives?” I said.
“The wives,” she corrected. “You know what I mean.”
God, my girl. Please don’t fall so hard so fast. Life is so much easier without love drama mucking it up.
“Well, you’ll do great,” I said. “Evidently you’re off today?”
“Yep,” she said. “I went to lunch with Uncle Ian yesterday, by the way. He took me on his motorcycle.”
My heart exploded, my chest swelled, and all that stuff. I laughed to cover it. “Oh, wow, you used to love that when you were little.”
“I loved it now!” she said. “So cool.”
“Well, good, glad you had a good time,” I said.
“Yeah, I’m gonna miss him, but I’m planning a trip down there, so he’s gonna teach me how to dive,” she said.
I blinked. “Wait—what?”
“Don’t worry, I have the money now,” she said. “I have an account for spending and two accounts for savings, and you’ll even be so proud of my investment thingie.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Investment thingie?” I asked. “And what about missing Ian?”
“Yeah, I got with a financial planner to help me with that money so I’d do the smart things. You know, making your money work for you and all those things the commercials say? Man, I really love this dress,” she added.
I was confused. A financial planner to help her sort out a thousand dollars? “Abby, I don’t think those people work with such small values like that, I mean—”
“Mom, ten grand is no small value,” she said, laughing. “I mean, not to me, anyway. Seriously, if that’s chump change to you, then maybe I need to rethink working at the barn.”
Something rang out in that sentence, something like little bells clanging into big bells. What the living hell did she just—
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Working at the barn?” she said, her voice uncertain.
“No, the . . .” I swallowed hard as my brain sent zingers bouncing around. “The money thing. How much did you say it was?”
“Ten thousand,” she said. “In the trust you set up.”
Ten thousand dollars. Fuck. My skin broke out in goose bumps again. What the hell was wrong with me, I was turning into an emotional freak job. But oh, sweet shitfire. Ten grand. The burn was pushing out of my eyes in liquid fire before I could stop it.
Let’s just say I donated it to a worthy cause.
“Baby, I gotta go,” I said, my words choking on themselves. “The dress is perfect. We’ll get together before the weekend. I love you.”
I couldn’t get out the door fast enough.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Bolting through the butcher shop’s door, I realized I hadn’t given it a second thought. I told Dad I was leaving and suddenly I was there, like I’d wiggled my nose. There were no customers so Jim was in the kitchen and Lily was sweeping the seating area.
“Hey,” she said with a wave, but I didn’t respond. I ran to the counter and lifted the hinge, jogging through the kitchen and down the hallway, hitting the stairs two at a time till I reached the top.
I knocked and then realized I had no plan. No speech. More than anything he’d ever done to me, or for me—protecting me, worrying for me—more than any of that he loved my baby girl. From the very day he’d set eyes on her, he loved that blue-eyed angel like she was his, and even in his darkest time he’d thought of her first.
I knocked again when there was no answer, realizing I hadn’t even checked to see if his bike was outside.
“Savi?” Lily said, coming up the stairs.
“Hey,” I said, swiping quickly at my face. “Is Ian here, do you know?”
“He’s not,” she said, her expression going wary, and then something. “Oh, fuck.”
“What?” I said. “What’s wrong?”
“He told me—” Her lips drew together in a grimace. “But I still thought he would have talked to you.”
“What, Lily?” I said, feeling dread tickle my skin, icy and unforgiving.
“He’s gone, Savi,” she said. “Ian left to go back to Florida early this morning.”
I’m gonna miss him.
“No way,” I breathed. “He wouldn’t just leave without . . .”
“He came by the house last night to say good-bye to Jim and let us know that some of our financial issues had been handled. Evidently our suppliers are back on board again. I don’t know what that was about but it’s awesome. And he said he left you something in your office.” She shook her head. “At the time, I thought it was just something he was leaving to be sweet, maybe something special. It never crossed my mind that he didn’t tell you.”
I stared at her, and then the door. He left me something? He . . . left?
“I’m sorry, Savi,” she said.
“Yeah,” I whispered. I glanced back at the door and then walked past her, back down the stairs.
“Are you okay?” she called after me.
“Dandy,” I said, not feeling my legs as I reached the bottom, not seeing Jim as I walked through the kitchen, and not feeling the sun on my skin as I crossed back across the street. My dad had left, evidently, but he’d left the door open.
I made it all the way to the horse stall and then slowed, grabbing on to the railing, because I saw it from there. A white folded piece of paper in my key bowl.
I walked slowly inside, staring at the paper. It had been there all day, but I’d been busy. He left me. Again. With a note.
I unfolded it with shaky hands and ran my fingertips over his handwriting. The words swam before me as I touched them.
Savi, I can’t tell you good-bye. I just can’t do it. I can’t look in your face and say those words, knowing they would break both of us. It’s time for me to go home, to take care of my business and be more of an active partner instead of leaving everything on Sy. It’s time for a lot of things to change, starting with me. You did that. You changed me while I was here. You’ve made me a better man. We will move on to grown-up things now. Finally, right? If you need anything, EVER, come find me. Call me and I’ll be there. But until then, find your happiness. Please don’t be mad. Or, I know you’ll be mad, and I know you’ll cry and probably break something and yell at whoever is nearby, but hopefully once the dust settles a little you’ll see that I could only say good-bye to you this way. Be happy, Savi. Let yourself be happy. And by the way, I stole the key. (old habits)
Love always, Ian
“You fucker,” I whispered, watching my tears land on the paper.