Even when he wasn’t going to one of Ty’s games, Noreen beat Bill home most evenings by a couple of hours. He expected to walk in and find dinner on the table, maybe even some music and candlelight. She’d always tried to create a romantic ambience for their meals.
But instead of walking in to the aroma of food cooking or a table set for two, he found Noreen sitting on the sofa, her face puffy from crying and a stack of luggage sitting beside the door.
“What’s all this?” he asked, crossing the room to sit beside her. When he reached for her hand, she pulled away. “Why the tears? Did something happen?”
“Something’s been happening for some time now,” she said, sniffing.
An odd knot formed in his gut. “Tell me.”
“You’ve fallen out of love with me,” she said sadly.
He was about to protest, but she waved him off. “Don’t even try to deny it, Bill. I knew it was a long shot, you and me, but I thought we had a chance, especially when I found out about the baby. Instead, the baby only complicates things.”
He felt completely at a loss. “So…what? You’re kicking me out?”
She shook her head. “I’m leaving. I’m moving back home to Tennessee. My folks will help with the baby. I’ll be able to find another job without a problem. Nurses are in big demand everywhere.”
Bill couldn’t seem to catch his breath. He wasn’t sure whether the tightness in his chest was panic or overwhelming relief. “But what about me? That baby will be my son or daughter. I don’t want him or her to grow up not knowing me.”
“Do you really want another child?” she asked wearily. “Tell the truth. From the beginning you’ve thought of this baby as a burden. I think you blame it and me for ruining your life.”
“No, I don’t,” he said emphatically, then sighed. “At least not entirely. Mostly, I’ve blamed myself. I’m the one who was married and had three kids at home. I should have used better judgment from the beginning, instead of taking advantage of you just because my ego needed a boost.”
“But it was great for a while, wasn’t it?” she asked wistfully.
“It was,” he said without hesitation. “I fell in love with you. You’re an amazing, vibrant woman. And you were exactly what I needed in my life when you came to work for me.”
Her smile wobbled. “I wish that were true. I think you wanted to believe you were in love with me, especially after we found out about the baby, but face it, you love Maddie. With me gone, you’ll be free to go back to her.”
Bill thought of the way Maddie had looked at Cal after the meeting earlier in the week. “I think that ship has sailed,” he told Noreen. “Maddie’s with Cal Maddox now.”
“They’re not married,” Noreen reminded him. “It’s not too late to fight for her, if that’s what you want.” She touched his cheek, then let her hand drop away. “If you don’t fight for her, I’ll be really furious with you. I’d hate to think I’m walking away for no good reason.”
“If the only reason you’re leaving is to give me another chance with Maddie, then you should stay,” he said. “I know things have been tough the last few months since everyone found out about us, and my kids haven’t made it any easier, but we can make it work, Noreen. Besides, as far along as you are with this pregnancy, you shouldn’t even consider moving. Your doctor is here.”
“I visited my old doctor when I went to see my parents a month ago,” she told him. “He has my case file and he’ll take over now.”
Bill stared at her with dismay. “Then you’ve been thinking about this for a while now,” he said, his tone flat.
“I had to,” she said. “I could tell our relationship was all wrong, even if you didn’t want to admit it. And just so you know, I’m not leaving for you or Maddie. I’m leaving for
me.
You do love me, I believe that, Bill. But you’re not
in
love with me, not the way I want the man I marry to be.”
He studied her intently and saw a surprisingly mature and steady resolve behind the sorrow in her eyes. “This is really what you want?”
“Not what I want, no, but what I know is best,” she told him, then stood up. “I’d better go. It’s a long drive and I’d like to get in a couple of hours before it gets dark.”
“Why don’t you wait till morning? Or fly?”
“The airline would never let me on the plane,” she said, her hand on her belly. “Besides, I’ll need my car in Tennessee.”
“Let me take you.”
“No. I don’t want to say goodbye all over again, not in front of my parents. I want to say it right here. Besides, I don’t think I could stand spending hours in the car with you rehashing all this.”
“What can I do, then?”
“Be happy,” she said quietly. “I’ll be in touch to make arrangements about getting the rest of my things.”
“Do you want me there when the baby comes?” he asked.
“That’s up to you,” she said, her expression wistful. “If you want to come, I won’t stop you. If you want to be a part of the baby’s life, as difficult as that would be for me, I won’t prevent that, either. How could I possibly deny my child the chance to know a dad as great as you?”
“Great? Hardly. I’ve failed my kids.”
“No,” she said fiercely. “All three of them are proof of what a terrific dad you are. And with me gone, you’ll be able to work out your differences.”
She reached for her luggage, but Bill grabbed it first. “You can’t be carrying anything this heavy. I’ll take it down.”
She backed off. “Fine.”
He studied her, surprised that she really was going to leave. He’d half expected her to back down. “There was never any chance I could talk you out of this, was there?”
A tear leaked out and tracked down her cheek. “Yeah, there was, but you blew it the second you didn’t deny that you were still in love with Maddie.”
Bill felt an ache in his heart, knowing just how badly he’d failed this beautiful young woman. But Noreen was strong, stronger than he’d realized. She’d do okay, and his son or daughter would be lucky to have her. And he’d do his part, as
well. He’d pay child support, visit when he could, make sure that the child never paid for the mistakes made by its parents.
He loaded Noreen’s bags into the trunk of her car, kissed her one more time, then stood on the curb as she drove away. He felt completely and utterly alone, even more so than when he’d walked away from his family or seen Maddie with Cal Maddox. At least then he’d had Noreen in his life, a woman who’d deserved better than he’d ever had to give.
And now? Now he had to figure out if going back to Maddie was what he really wanted. And if it was, how the hell was he going to convince Maddie to let him?
For a couple of weeks now, ever since Cal had declared his feelings for her at the school board meeting, Maddie had been struggling to sort out her own feelings. She knew that sooner or later Cal was going to leap right over a courtship period and ask for more. He might be eager to drag her off to bed and she might be just as anxious for him to do it, but she knew now the kind of man he was. Respect and tradition were too important to him. He wasn’t going to subject her to more gossip in a town that had already proved just how deep it’d dig for a scandal.
Looking for answers, she dropped by her mother’s. She found Paula gardening in the backyard, pulling weeds from around her pink, purple and yellow snapdragons. She seemed oblivious to the dirt streaked on her face and clothes and just as oblivious to the hummingbirds darting in and out among the hollyhocks, which were just starting to break into bloom.
Maddie automatically picked up a pair of pruning shears and went to work on a rosebush. She didn’t have her mother’s flare for gardening and she’d made only a few distracted snips when Paula snatched the shears from her hand.
“Give me those. You’re going to kill it.” She gave Maddie a penetrating look. “What’s wrong?”
“I think it might be getting serious between me and Cal,” she said.
“Well, hallelujah! That’s a man with backbone, to say nothing of a great rear end.”
Maddie chuckled despite herself. “You
would
notice that.”
“Well, of course. I’m not dead. What about you? Have you noticed?”
Maddie blushed. “Oh, yes.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The kids, Bill, everyone.”
“The kids have always liked Cal. They’re just struggling with the idea of him in a new role in their lives. As for Bill, he doesn’t get any say in this. And that mess with the school board is in the past. What’s really stopping you? Why are you overthinking something that ought to be totally instinctive? You love the man or you don’t.”
“Not that simple,” Maddie said.
“Yes, it is,” her mother said just as firmly.
She thought of the accusation Peggy Martin had made. It had been eating at her for a few weeks now. “What if I’ve talked myself into having feelings for him just to get even with Bill? What if I’m only trying to prove that I’m able to attract a younger man?”
Her mother gave her a penetrating look. “Is that what you’re doing?”
“I don’t think so, but how do I know that for sure?”
“You imagine your life without him,” her mother said simply. “If Cal’s not that important or just passing through, you’ll know it.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Maddie said. “I loved Bill for years. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. But now that he’s been gone for nearly eight months, I’ve managed. The world didn’t come to an end.”
“Maybe he wasn’t your soul mate,” her mother said quietly.
“The way Dad was yours,” Maddie said with sudden understanding. Her mother, for all her carefree, irrepressible ways and outlandish comments about other men, had never had eyes for anyone but Maddie’s father.
Paula’s smile was tinged with sadness. “Exactly.”
“And you think Cal could be my soul mate in a way that Bill never was? We’ve only been seeing each other a few months. How can that be?”
“All it takes is a split second if it’s the right person. Did I ever tell you about the night I met your father? It was at a dinner party. He was there with someone else. So was I. On the surface, you’d think we wouldn’t have a thing in common. I was an unpredictable artist. He was a staid economist. But I looked across the table at him that night and I knew he was the one. He was everything I needed. We complemented each other.”
Maddie smiled. “Sometimes I envied that, the way you didn’t need anyone else. I felt…extraneous.”
“We never meant for you to,” her mother said, giving her a fierce hug. “We both adored you. Neither of us could quite get over the fact that we’d created something so incredible. Your father would have been so proud of the way you’ve handled all the changes you’ve had to face this year, Maddie, he really would.”
Maddie couldn’t seem to keep herself from asking, “What would he have thought of Cal?”
“He’d’ve liked him, but it doesn’t really matter what he’d think or what I think. Do you think Cal’s the one?”
Like a film playing out in Maddie’s mind, the years ahead flickered past, scene after scene with Cal at the heart of them, just as he’d already become the core of so many family occasions. He’d fit in easily and without rancor, despite the uneasy initial welcome he’d received from her kids. He’d never demand more of any of them than what they’d had to give, but he’d give unconditional love back to them, as much as they needed, more than they sometimes deserved.
Since the first time she’d met with him to discuss Ty, she’d felt stronger with him beside her, more herself than she had in years. She wasn’t playing a role, as she often had with Bill. She was simply being the best she could be, aware that it was enough for this man. More than enough.
She stood up suddenly. “I have to go.”
“You going to say yes, then?”
Maddie grinned. “He hasn’t asked a question yet.”
Her mother smiled in a way that suggested she knew something Maddie didn’t. “He will,” she said confidently.
“Have the two of you talked?”
“All the time,” her mother said. “But about him asking you to marry him? No, we haven’t talked about that.”
“Then what makes you so sure he’s going to ask?”
“The way he looks at you. It’s the way your dad looked at me.”
“And Bill never looked at me like that?”
Her mother shook her head. “Not even on your wedding day. He looked as if he’d just acquired a brand-new Mercedes—happy and proud of himself.”
“And how does Cal look at me?”
“As if he can’t believe his luck and would do anything on earth to make you happy.” She grasped Maddie’s shoulders and looked her in the eye. “And that, my darling girl, has nothing to do with age, so forget about that once and for all. Age is a non-issue.”
Maddie hugged her mother. “I love you.”
“I know,” Paula said.
She spoke with the same infuriatingly calm smugness that usually drove Maddie nuts. Today, it made her laugh.
W
hen Cal arrived at Maddie’s, he was relieved to find her gone. He needed to sit the three kids down and have a heart-to-heart with them. He’d promised Ty if his relationship with Maddie got serious, he’d let them know and ask their opinion. He and Maddie had been seeing each other more regularly lately and he’d decided tonight was the night. He was more nervous about it than he’d been during his first at-bat in the Major League.
When he had all three of them settled on the living-room sofa, he sat on a chair across from them, then stood up and began to pace, trying to come up with the right words.
“Coach, are you okay? You’re acting really weird,” Ty observed.
Cal forced himself to sit back down. “I’m here to ask you guys something, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. I mean, maybe I should talk to your mom about this first. If I tell you and then she’s not interested, well, it could be awkward.”
Katie left the sofa and crawled into his lap. “Did you want to help us plan our party? I love parties. Mom does, too.”
Cal stared at her blankly. “A party?”
“It’s Mom’s birthday tomorrow,” Kyle explained. “We’ve
been trying to figure out what to do to celebrate. Before, we always had a big party, ’cause Mom says birthdays should be really special, but maybe she’s not in the mood for it this year. You know, because…”
“Because?” Cal prodded.
Kyle squirmed, clearly uncomfortable with the question. “Dad’s gone, for one thing.”
“I see,” Cal said, wondering just how big a role Bill had played in the family celebrations. Would his absence cast a damper on everything from here on out? Would every holiday or celebration bring back a thousand memories of the way things used to be?
Ty gave him a pointed look. “Or maybe she doesn’t want a party because she doesn’t want you to know how old she is.”
Cal chuckled, despite Ty’s somber expression. “I think you can stop worrying about that one. I know how old your mother is. I just didn’t know her birthday was this week.”
“Really?” Ty asked skeptically.
“Really.”
“Isn’t she lots older than you?” Kyle said, frowning. “Isn’t that one reason everybody’s been so weird about you two?”
“Let’s not make her sound ancient,” Cal advised, ignoring the part about what other people thought. As far as he was concerned, that was no longer an issue, and he was pretty sure Maddie was finally on the same page. He looked from Ty’s face to Kyle’s. “Come on, guys. It’s ten years. That’s not so much. It’s the same difference there is between Ty and Katie. You two get along okay, don’t you?”
Ty gave him a scathing look. “She’s my
baby
sister. It’s not the same thing at all.”
“I am not a baby!” Katie protested.
Cal didn’t even try to hide his amusement at the sibling bickering. “And compared to your mom, I’m hardly a baby, either.”
“Then you really don’t care?” Ty persisted. “Dad left her because he wanted someone lots younger. Are you gonna do the same thing?”
“Never,” Cal assured him. “I want to marry her. Does that sound like I care about how old she is?”
Cal hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that. He knew he’d blown it when he saw shock register on all three faces.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that,” he said hurriedly. “I came over here to ask you guys how you would feel about it if I did that, asked her to marry me, I mean. So, what do you think? Would it freak you out?”
The question was greeted by a deafening silence. Cal felt his stomach twist into knots as he considered the very real possibility that he hadn’t won them over, after all. He knew Maddie well enough to know that she would never consider marrying anyone if her children disapproved.
“Come on, kids, say something,” he pleaded. “I’m dying here.”
“You’d move in here and be our dad?” Katie asked, looking perplexed.
“Your stepdad, actually,” he said, determined not to blur that line. “You
have
a dad and he will always be a big part of your lives.” He turned to Ty, knowing that his reaction was the most critical. “Well? Do you hate the idea? I know you weren’t that happy about us dating and we haven’t really been on that many dates. But I know what I want and I think your mom wants the same thing.”
“You think she wants to marry you?” Ty asked, frowning.
Cal nodded. “Look, I know you’re still furious with your dad for leaving you all to be with Noreen, so it’s important to me that you’re happy about me and your mom. Could you accept me being with your mom and here with all of you?”
Ty seemed to struggle for words, but at least he hadn’t outright rejected the idea. Cal held out hope.
“The whole dating thing was really weird for me when I figured out you and Mom were more than just friends, especially when everyone in town was talking about you guys,” Ty said finally, his face scrunched up in a deeper frown. Then he met Cal’s gaze. “But it’s been okay, you being around more. Having you here all the time, like a real part of the family, might be kinda cool.” His expression brightened. “I could get baseball tips anytime I want.”
Cal chuckled. “You get that now, without me getting to tell you to take out the garbage.”
“You’d ask me to do that?”
“I might.”
“And you’d make me keep up my grades?”
“You bet.”
Tyler actually smiled.
Kyle leaned forward. “What about me? What would you make me do?”
“That’s easy,” Cal said, grinning. “I’d make you tell me a new joke every night. Maybe one at breakfast, too.” He paused thoughtfully. “And you’d have to mow the lawn and help with the dishes.”
Kyle sat back. “Cool.”
“I don’t want chores,” Katie announced.
“’Cause you’re a little princess,” Kyle teased.
Cal grinned at her. “I’m afraid you’ll have to come down
out of your tower with me around, Princess Katie. I might insist that you bake me cupcakes.”
Katie giggled. “I love cupcakes. I could bake you a million.”
Cal looked around at these three kids who’d become so precious to him. They’d slipped into his heart as if they were always meant to be there. “Then we’re agreed? It’s okay if I ask your mom to marry me?”
Ty appeared thoughtful. “Maybe you should let us ask,” he suggested.
“Why?” Cal asked.
“Since Dad left, she pretty much says yes to anything we want.”
Cal smothered a laugh. “That’s definitely one way to go,” he agreed. “But I think I’d better handle this one. I could ask her during her birthday party tomorrow, then you’d all be here.” If he was setting himself up for humiliation, so be it. They all had a stake in Maddie’s response. Besides, as a last resort, he might need to call on their powers of persuasion.
He turned to them now. “So, how do we make this the best birthday party your mom has ever had?”
“Balloons,” Katie suggested, clapping with delight. “And lots and lots of presents. We should go shopping.”
Cal looked at Ty and Kyle. “You guys need to do any shopping?”
“I’ve got my present for Mom,” Ty said. “I got a copy of that picture the paper ran of me throwing the final strike in the championship game. I had it framed for her.”
“And I made her a book on the computer,” Kyle said. “It’s all my best jokes. I’ve got illustrations and everything.”
“She’ll love that,” Cal said, then looked at Katie. “What about you? Did you make something for your mother?”
“I painted her a picture at school, but it’s not very good,”
she said worriedly. “Maybe I should buy something, but I already spent my allowance.”
“I imagine your mom will love the picture more than anything you buy,” Cal said. “So it sounds as if the presents are under control. Do your grandmother, Dana Sue and Helen usually come to this party?”
Ty nodded. “Dana Sue and Helen do, but we haven’t called ’em yet because we weren’t sure it was a good idea to have a party this year.”
“Okay, then, you call them and tell them it’s on for tomorrow night,” Cal said. “Call your grandmother, too. She should be here for this one. I’ll order a cake.”
“No way,” Kyle protested. “Dana Sue always bakes the cake.”
“But
I
wanna do it this time,” Katie argued. “I’m big enough this year.” She cast an imploring look at Cal. “Can I, please?”
Since Cal had decided that hiding an engagement ring in the cake might be just the right touch, helping Katie to bake one made a lot of sense. “How about you and I give it a shot? You tell me what kind and I’ll buy the ingredients.”
Kyle regarded them with a worried expression. “I think I’ll tell Dana Sue to go ahead and bake one just in case.”
Cal ruffled his hair. “Hey, what’s with the lack of confidence? I think Katie and I will make a great baking team. Dana Sue will probably want to hire us as pastry chefs.”
Ty rolled his eyes. “If you ask me, love’s made you kinda goofy.”
Cal laughed. “You just wait, young man. It’s the best kind of goofy there is.”
“Do we really need to have this meeting right now?” Maddie asked Helen. “I’m anxious to get home.”
“I know,” Helen said. “I’m coming to the birthday party, too, remember? I thought you’d rather I give you this here, rather than in front of the kids.”
She pulled an envelope from her purse and handed it to Maddie.
“The divorce decree?” Maddie whispered, clutching the thick, official-looking envelope in a hand that had suddenly turned ice-cold.
Helen nodded. “You okay?”
“I just wasn’t expecting…” Maddie began, then shook her head. “Of course I was, but not today. When it didn’t come a couple of weeks ago, I guess I kind of shoved the whole idea out of my mind.”
“It was bound to catch you off guard whenever the decree came through,” Helen said. “I understand that. Seeing it on paper makes it final.” She studied Maddie worriedly. “You weren’t hoping for some kind of last-minute reprieve, were you?”
Had she been? Maddie didn’t think so. She was more than ready to move on. Eager, in fact. Maybe Dana Sue’s conviction that Bill’s relationship with Noreen was rocky had shaken her a little, but not enough to make her question the final outcome. Her marriage was over. She’d known it for the better part of a year now.
“No,” she told Helen. She stared at the envelope, not really wanting to open it and see the words in black and white. “I guess I just never figured I’d be one of those statistics. I thought Bill and I were stronger than that, more devoted to each other and our family.”
“You’ve known for months now that it was a lie, at least on his part,” Helen reminded her.
“Doesn’t make it any easier,” Maddie said. “I feel like a failure.”
“You didn’t fail,” Helen said heatedly. “If anyone did, it was Bill.” Her expression mellowed. “But the truth is, Maddie, sometimes these things just happen and it’s nobody’s fault. I’ve handled a lot of divorces over the last fifteen years, and at the core of most of them is the same thing. People change. It’s the universe’s one constant. Nothing stays static.”
“Then why on earth does anyone ever get married?” Maddie asked in frustration. “With all those odds stacked against you, why bother?”
“Are you asking in general, or are you talking about you and Cal?”
Maddie frowned. “Both, I guess.”
“Some people are just optimists,” Helen told her. “Or maybe there’s something about love that can make you forget all the odds and statistics and pain. It’s that same kind of amnesia that allows women to have more than one baby after they discover that childbirth’s no picnic. Love is powerful enough to convince you that this time will be different.”
Her gaze met Maddie’s. “For what it’s worth, I think you and Cal can make it. Ever since the school board meeting when he said what he did right out there in front of God and everyone, whenever I’m around the two of you, I believe in the power of love.” She grinned. “And coming from a cynic like me, that’s saying something.”
Maddie shoved the unopened envelope into a desk drawer. “I imagine Bill has his copy by now, too.”
Helen nodded. “I imagine so.”
“Then I guess he and Noreen will be setting their wedding date.”
Helen gave her an odd look. “Does that bother you?”
Maddie thought about it. A few weeks ago it would have shaken her to her core, but now? Surprisingly, she felt nothing.
“No,” she said, relieved to be able to say it with conviction.
Helen seemed strangely relieved. “Good for you. Now, get out of here and head home to your party.”
“You’re not coming with me?”
Helen glanced at her watch. “It’s not supposed to start for another hour. I’ll be along in plenty of time. I have to make a couple of stops first.”
Maddie grinned. “You haven’t bought my present yet, have you?”
“Of course I have,” Helen insisted, then chuckled. “Okay, I admit it. I know what I’m getting you, but I haven’t had a chance to go by the store. And as long as you know my shameful secret, you might as well help me out.”
“Help you out how?”
“Do you think Cal would prefer to see you in black lace or red?” she inquired innocently.
Maddie moaned. “Please do not give me sexy lingerie in front of my adolescent boys,” she pleaded. “Or in front of Cal, for that matter.”
“Just trying to help,” Helen told her. “I thought it might give him ideas.”
“I think Cal has plenty of ideas on his own, thank you very much. We’ve been out on half a dozen actual dates now and it’s getting harder and harder to send him home.”
“If you say so. I’ll try to tame it down for the young folks,” Helen promised. “I’m thinking flannel now. Maybe with a high neckline. The covered-up look can be a turn-on.”
Maddie waved her away. “Just go.”
“See you in an hour. Don’t cut the cake without me.”
“Cal and Katie would never allow it. They baked it themselves. They wouldn’t even allow me in the kitchen. I just pray it’ll be edible.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Helen advised. “Enough frosting can make almost anything edible.”
Maddie was counting on that.
Despite the divorce decree she’d left in her desk, Maddie was surprisingly lighthearted as she walked home. She’d wanted to ignore her birthday this year. She hadn’t wanted to be reminded that she would officially be eleven years older than Cal, at least for a couple of months. Ten years was bad enough.