Steel & Ice (35 page)

“
Word bitch. It’s so easy to
recycle them. I get it now why you do it, especially if it’s good.
But yeah, then they don’t leave you alone. I tried to tell him he
could be my night time boyfriend.”

I burst out laughing. “How’d he take
that?”

“
Not well.”

“
I imagine not. And stop
stealing my lines!” I once told a guy he could be my nighttime
boyfriend, but not my daytime boyfriend. He didn’t like that too
much. Men and their sensitive egos. Sheesh!

“
You got good lines. I miss
them.”

“
Aw Chris. I’m sorry. I’m
not trynna be a ghost. My world is a little crazy right now, but
I’ll catch you up on Saturday. Why don't you bring your shit over
in the afternoon and I’ll tell you all about my trip to Kansas
City.”

“
Finally! Your ass has been
MIA since then. I gotta hear what the fuck happened on this
infamous KC trip.”

She wasn’t going to believe what went down
with J and me in Kansas City. “Word. I’ll see you then.”

“
Bet.”

Later that night I texted J.

ME: goin to club sat nite with chris. ladies
nite. cool?

J: course

ME: k. comin thru tonite?

J: yep. Gonna b late

ME: use key if lights r out

J: k

ME: u’ve fucked me up. i can’t sleep without
ur warmth anymore

J: mission accomplished :)

ME: yeah yeah. c u tonite baby

J: k. luv
u

ME: luv u
2

I was deep asleep when I felt J slide into
my bed and wrap himself around me. I only woke up partially to
allow him to cocoon me with his body and quickly fell back asleep
with a deep and content sigh. We attempted to get as much of our
skin touching one another as possible. J tried to tell me it was me
doing it. I told him he was the one all over me every night. We’d
discovered neither one of us had been this way before. He told me
he had never snuggled much with his ex. And I didn’t even stay the
night half the time I fucked a guy. I surely didn’t cuddle up to
them if I did. This desire to be as close as physically possible to
one another was a new phenomenon for both of us. I felt J kiss my
forehead and whisper he loved me. I mumbled it in return and
drifted back to sleep.

Chapter 17

I finished my last final and was ready to
party Saturday night. Although I wished J could be there, I knew
Chris was glad it was only us two. I was sitting in my kitchen, on
a chair in the middle of the room. I had half my hair straight, and
half was still a frizzy mess clipped to the side.

“
Can we take a commercial
break? My arm hurts. You got a lot of fuckin’ hair!”

I laughed. She knew this. This wasn’t our
first foray into the world of flat irons and straightening cream.
In fact, it was her idea to straighten it. “Let me remind you this
was your idea.”

“
Fuckin’ A, you’re right, it
was. Let’s puff and then I’ll do the other half.”

Chris started to pack a bowl. “Now don’t
make me have one perfectly straight side of hair and one jacked up
side,” I said, motioning to the weed Chris was packing into the
pipe.

“
Chill out. Now spill it on
KC.” I spilled. I didn’t hold back.

When it came to sex, Chris and I might just
say it was the bomb or, in unfortunate circumstances, it was like
fucking a jack hammer. Other times we went into detail. Graphic
detail. Like play by play detail. I didn’t give her a totally play
by play of the sex, but I did try my best to rehash every
conversation J and I had while in Kansas City. Knowing me as well
as she did, Chris was speechless. On which part I was unsure. So I
asked.

“
Which part has your mouth
broken?”

“
Fuck girl. All of them. The
money.”

“
Yep.”

“
Fucker’s rich.” I nodded.
“And he loves you.”

“
Yes again.”

“
You trust him?” I nodded
again.

“
Where’s the jacket?” I got
it out of the closet. Chris’ eyes got big.

“
It’s the shit, right?” I
smiled like the Cheshire Cat because I hadn’t gotten over the
superb coolness of the jacket. I reached out and put my hand under
Chris’ chin and closed her mouth. “Dork.”

“
Dude. The jacket is the
shit. The fuckin’ hotel sounds like the shit—“ I cut her
off.

“
Ohhh, wait. I got video.” I
showed her the video I had taken of the suite at Chateau
Avalon.

Chris was again speechless. She just kept
shaking her head as we went through the videos.

“
Get back in the chair and
let me get to straightening your shit before the club closes. I
wanna tell you some shit.” Chris was a laid back type of gal.
That’s why we got along. She had a sailor’s mouth as did I. We
could be serious, but it was usually me talking and her responding.
I can’t remember a time until that moment that Chris had initiated
serious time with the sound of her voice. I was anxious to get in
the chair to hear what she had to say.

“
Go for it. Just don’t burn
me.”

“
Have I ever burned you?” I
rolled my eyes. She had so burned me before. I didn’t think we were
that fucked up yet. Or so I hoped.

“
Alright, so I know the fact
that he’s rich doesn’t matter to you cuz I know you like that.” She
did and I nodded to show her I concurred. “I’m ‘bout to keep it
real girl. I’m beautiful.” I reached around and smacked her leg.
“Now, now. I’ll burn your ear for sure if you do that. What I mean
is, I know I’m traditionally beautiful.” She was. Blond hair, blue
eyes, long legs, slender frame, bronze skin. Bitch could have been
a Victoria’s Secret model. “And it’s cool, you know, that I’m
beautiful. But you know you’re beautiful too?”

“
Word.”

“
It’s that, you are
nontraditionally beautiful. Obviously your hair is fuckin’ rockin’.
People pay to get your hair.” I’d been told that quite a few times.
“But it’s more than the hair. It’s your porcelain skin, your
curves, flat stomach, and those fucking glasses men eat up. Aside
from aaaaaalllll that, what is really beautiful about you is up
here,” she said, tapping the side of my temple. “That is what is
the most beautiful about you. You are unique. You spout off all
this deep shit about life and its meaning, but you follow it up
with a TuPac lyric. And this, “she said, placing her hand over my
heart, “is also beautiful. I know you’d take a bullet for me and
I’d do the same for you.”

“
Always girl.” I put my fist
up for her to bump.

“
I trust you with my life,
and I don’t trust anyone. Men see me and want to fuck me. Men see
you and want to fuck you, but also want to see what’s going on in
your head. Your eyes are calculating, cautious, inquisitive, and
men go crazy for that deep look you give them.
If
you even look at them. Me, they
just see my body.”

“
Girl, you know that’s not
true.”

“
I know you’re saying that
to be nice. Men get to know me and see how cool I am, but at first
they just see this.” She motioned to her body and face. “Despite
all these dudes wanting a piece of you, you rarely give any the
time of day cause they all fucking suck.”

“
Word.” I put my fist in the
air and she bumped it again.

“
But J. Man, J got you. And
you got him. And that shit he said to you about loving you forever,
that was fucking beautiful. That’s what women dream of having a
man, a HOT man, say to them. I ain’t gonna lie. I’m jealous as all
hell, but I happy for you girl. You deserve a good man.”

“
Chris, you do too. Just as
much.”

“
Of course I do,” she said
with a grin and a cocky hair flip. “But I know you’ve been through
some shit, and trust less than me. Plus, I see what you’ve got
goin’ on with your life.”

I was puzzled. “What do I got goin’ on?”

“
You’re making a better life
for yourself. School. The shit at that center.” She set the flat
iron on the table. Chris stood behind me, putting one hand on my
heart and another on the top of my head. “Both of these are what
make you, you. The hair and shit is icing on the cake. But what’s
here,” she said tapping both hands, “is why J is a lucky man. I
want you to be happy and you seem pretty fuckin’ happy.”

I turned around and beamed at Chris. “I am
happy.” It was a beautiful moment. Hallmark worthy. But this was
Elle and Chris. “So is my shit straight or do I still have a bird’s
nest on one side?”

“
Nah, you’re good to go.” I
went to the mirror and marveled at how long my hair was. It hung
down the middle of my back. It was also lighter, more golden than
brown when straight. The light hit it different. “I feel like a
different person with straight hair. It’s so weird.”

******

We finished getting ready and headed to
Eight Oh Eight around eleven. I threw a hat in the car. If I
sweated, the hair around my face would curl back up necessitating a
hat. I was sporting an olive green tank top with brown wedge boots
that night, so I tossed my camouflage army hat in the back of
Chris’ car. It was warm enough to go without a coat finally, but
there was still a light chill in the air. It was late May. It would
be another few weeks before it started to be shorts and flip-flops
wearing weather.

Chris and I did our normal routine. We came
in the back, got a drink at the back bar, and were in the midst of
doing our first lap around the club.

“
Holler if you see Devon,”
Chris yelled back to me over Kanye’s Jesus Walks.

“
I got your
back.”

We were standing at the back bar, opposite
the pool room. Chris found a guy she liked, so I had to chat up the
friend. He wasn’t bad looking. Tall enough. Eight months ago I
might have been interested. Not tonight. I still talked to him. I
had a slight buzz going so I was on point with my game.

“
You come around here
often?” the friend asked.

I looked at him over the top of my glasses.
Really. He was coming at me with that? “Sometimes.” I shrugged.
“You?”

“
Nah, every once in a while
but I’m a fast roller you know. I got shit comin’ up that keeps me
on the move.”

“
Oh really. What kind of
shit is it that keeps you moving?”

“
Aw you know,
I got a couple businesses I’m building up and
people to maintain.” Really? Really. I had the sudden urge to grab
his hand and smack his palm on his forehead because that’s how lame
he sounded.

“
You got kids?”

“
Yeah, two. You got
any?”

“
No. You with their
mother?”

“
Nah, them crazy bitches.
How come you ain’t got any kids? You’re beautiful.”

I pushed my glasses up and looked him in the
eye. Because I’m beautiful I should’ve let some guy knock me up by
now? Fuckin’ A. I took a breath so I didn’t say something totally
rude, and made sure he was looking right at me when I dead panned,
“I use condoms.”

He laughed like I was joking. I didn’t
laugh. I just kept looking him in the eye. His laughs slowed, and
then stopped, and he started to fidget like he was uncomfortable.
Mission accomplished.

Praise god that my phone vibrated in my
purse at that moment. I wasn’t sure what was about to come out of
dude’s mouth next, but I was sure it would continue along the
general lines of bull shit he had been spouting so far.

I looked at my phone. It was a message from
Genesis.

GENESIS: where are you?

ME: out. is everything ok?

GENESIS: no

ME: what’s wrong?

GENESIS: can u come where I am?

ME: what’s going on genesis?

GENESIS: it’s fernie

ME: what about fernie?

There was no response. Fuck. I tapped Chris
on the shoulder. “I’m gonna step outside for a sec to take a
call.”

“
I’ll go with you.” With
that she grabbed my arm and pulled me outside to some patio chairs.
“Those dudes were full of shit.”

“
Tell me about it. Let me
make a call. It’s one of my teens.”

“
Do they usually call
you?”

I looked at the phone and then at Chris, and
furrowed my brow. “No.” I dialed Genesis’ phone number, but no one
answered. “That’s strange. Genesis asked me to come where she is
and that something’s up with Fernie, but wouldn’t say what was up
and didn’t answer just now.”

“
Genesis and Fernie are your
teens?”

“
Yeah.” Just then the phone
rang. “Genesis. Are you ok?”

She whispered to me, “No. Can you come here?
I’ll text you the address.”

“
Why are you whispering? Are
you in trouble?”

“
I don’t want anyone to
hear. I’m at this house with Fernie. I’m in the bathroom. There’s
all these drugs here, and this big dude and another guy came in and
are saying Fernie’s friend owes him money or something. I’m in the
bathroom. I think Fernie is involved cause he keeps saying he’ll
get the money.”

“
Text me the address. I’ll
text your phone when I’m there. Is there a window in the
bathroom?”

“
Yes.”

“
Try to climb out if you
can.”

“
OK.”