Stepbrother Backstage (The Hawthorne Brothers Book 3) (18 page)

“I just…How can this be possible?” I ask, running my hands
through my bright blonde hair, “All of us pairing off like this…It must be some
kind of a statistical impossibility, right?”

“I don’t know. I think it makes a kind of sense,” Maddie
replies, refilling her glass, “We may not have a lot in common at first glance,
but it turns out we Porter girls share one thing; a very specific type.”

A baffled peal of laughter escapes my throat as the shock
starts to ebb away. As bizarre as this situation is, I have no choice but to
embrace it. It’s actually something of a comfort, knowing that Finn and I
aren’t in this alone. All six of us kids are in this together, as it turns out.
Maybe that means we have a shot at doing something about this predicament we’ve
been thrust into?

“But what about you, Anna?” Sophie says, fixing her
inquisitive eyes on me. “What’s the story with you and Finn?”

I cast my memory back to my first day at the lake house,
when I happened upon Finn Hawthorne in the woods. The first time my eyes locked
with his through the lens of my camera, I knew that he was unlike anyone I’d
ever met. But I had no idea of the depth I’d find in those golden brown eyes. I
couldn’t have imagined the spirit, the determination, and the resilience
contained in his vibrant soul. There was no way I could have prepared myself
for just how deeply I was going to fall for him, the inevitability of our
coming to love each other. For the first time since receiving my mom’s text
this morning, I find myself running up against the possibility of losing him.
Sudden tears prick my eyes, as my sisters wait to hear my story.

“Honey, what’s the matter?” Maddie says softly, coming to
sit next to me on the couch.

“W-we had a huge fight this morning,” I whisper, trying and
failing to blink away my tears, “After we saw the text Mom sent. He just
stormed off and left me to fend for myself—I have no idea where he is, now.”

“Sounds like a Hawthorne,” Sophie nods, giving my hand a
consoling squeeze.

“Did he start breaking shit, too?” Maddie asks, “Cash nearly
put his foot through the wall, when I showed him the picture of that ring.”

“Well, Finn will be replacing the front window of the bar he
works at, too,” I laugh through my tears, “Guess that temper runs in the
family.”

“Luke was content to pace around our hotel room cursing like
a sailor,” Sophie puts in, “But I can tell that he wanted to break something,
if that helps. He’s probably still in our room wearing ruts into the
floorboards.”

I laugh, imagining the serious, studious Luke trying to tamp
down his Hawthorne temper. It’s a comfort to know that Cash, the most
tempestuous of the three, ended his own destructive bout when he did. But then
again, it makes sense that Finn is the one who’s taking this the hardest. I’ve
long suspected that under his strong, silent exterior, he’s really the most
intense of the three Hawthorne brothers. His entire life was upended by the
turmoil that ripped their family apart. And his deeply empathetic nature makes
it impossible for him not to feel every inch of the pain we’re all experiencing
now.

“I just hope he’s OK,” I say, swallowing my tears as best I
can.

“I’m sure he’s just fine,” Maddie says, putting a supportive
arm around my shoulder.

“Have you told him where you are?” Sophie asks.

“I guess I haven’t…” I reply, shaking my head, “Today has
been a little nuts.”

I tell them all about Blaine’s atrocious behavior when I
arrived back at the house this morning, how I narrowly escaped thanks to
Natasha’s intervention. My sisters’ eyes flash furiously as I describe the
scene.

“What a piece of shit,” Sophie seethes.

“You poor thing,” Maddie says, squeezing my hand.

“At least I got out of there,” I tell them, “Though now I
guess I’m out of a home. Again.”

“You could always stay here,” Maddie says brightly.

“What’s she gonna do, sleep at the foot of your and Cash’s
bed?” Sophie says, “Anna, you can come to New York with me if you like. That
apprenticeship I was hoping for came through, and—”

“I can’t think about any of that yet,” I tell them, “Thank
you guys, but let’s just take this one step at a time.”

“OK. Agreed,” Maddie says, “First things first. We need to
figure out what the hell we’re going to do about Mom and John.”

Our three cell phones chirp in unison on the coffee table.
As one, we lean forward to inspect our devices. Sure enough, there’s a follow-up
group text from our mother:

“Girls? Did you get the
picture I sent? John and I are getting married!”

“We get the picture, alright,” Sophie mutters.

“I’ll text her back,” Maddie sighs, snatching up her phone.

“Yeah Mom.
Congratulations,”
she replies for all of us.

“Do you seriously think they’re going to go through with
it?” I ask my sisters, “I mean, this is Mom we’re talking about. The flake of
the century. What are the chances—?”

But my query is interrupted by another text from the flake
in question.

John and I want to get all
the kids together to celebrate. What do you say? Make it a long weekend and
come back to the lake house?

The three of us stare at our phones, mouths hanging open.

“She can’t be serious,” Maddie says.

“Did she just forget about the gigantic fight we had?”
Sophie asks.

“Or the whole selling-our-childhood-home thing?” I add.

“Not to mention her ‘My grief is the only grief that
matters’ spiel,” Maddie puts in.

“She really expects us to just drop everything and head back
into the woods to pretend that we’re happy for her?
Again
?” Sophie says.

“Of course she does,” I say, crossing my arms, “This is
Robin Porter we’re dealing with, after all.”

We all take a minute to contemplate what our mother has
asked of us, all that she’s asked us to forgive and forget. No matter what she
puts us through, I can’t shut off the guilt I feel at having left the lake
house. She still has power over us, no matter how much we might like to deny
it. Without even discussing it, I know that we three sisters are coming to a
silent agreement.

It’s back to the lake house we go.

“Before we set anything in stone,” Maddie says, “I think
there are a few people we should discuss this with.”

Sophie shoots Luke a text, summoning him back to Maddie’s
apartment. Maddie drops Cash a line as well, letting him know that we’ve had
the sister time we needed. I pick up my own phone, but I can’t bring myself to
message Finn. What would I even say? What if he doesn’t want to hear from me?
What if he tells me that it’s over between us?

“Cash is right around the corner,” Maddie says, reading a
text from her man.

“Luke is too. It sounds like they’re together,” Sophie
replies.

“Are you gonna give Finn a call?” Maddie asks gently.

“I…I don’t…” I begin, but Maddie’s front door buzzer cuts me
off.

“That must be them already,” my oldest sister says, standing
up to let them in.

I’m oddly nervous to see Cash and Luke. Not only are they my
boyfriend’s big brothers, it also turns out they’re my sisters’ boyfriends. I’m
glad I’m already sitting down, because that mind fuck would have knocked me
right off my feet. I start to imagine what kind of future this family can look
forward to, unconventional as it is. But of course, none of us can have a
future at all unless we do something about our parents. But what?

There’s a knock at the front door and the low rumble of male
voices in the hallway.

“The boys are back,” Maddie says, walking across the studio
and opening the door.

Sophie and I stand up from the couch as Cash and Luke enter.
Their tall, broad bodies barely look like they should be able to fit in the
front door of such a tiny apartment as this. I expected them to look grim and
stoic, what with everything that’s going on. But their expressions aren’t all doom
and gloom. They seem stressed, to be sure, but there’s an excited, mischievous
sort of energy gleaming in their eyes as well—especially when they glance
across the room and find me standing there.

“The gang’s all here, huh?” Cash says to Maddie, shoving a
hand through his collar-length curls.

“That’s right,” Maddie replies, giving me a smile.

“Now we can start sorting out what exactly we plan to do
about this mess,” Sophie says, going to refill her wine glass.

“Well,” Luke says, clearing his throat, “There’s one other
person who should be in on any conversation we have about our next move.” 

My sisters glance my way, gaging my reaction. Cash and Luke
are still staring at me, too. That gives me pause. It’s not like they have any
way of knowing about me and Finn, since I only just told my sisters.

“We can fill him in later,” Maddie says hurriedly, trying to
spare my feelings.

“That won’t be necessary,” Cash says, his lips curving into
a crooked smile.

“What do you mean?” I ask him, “Of course it’s necessary.
What—?”

My words cut out as Cash and Luke glance back through the
doorway. I follow their eyes as footsteps ring out in the hall, approaching the
threshold. As I look on, another man appears between them in the doorway.
Another man cast from the same mold, with eyes for me alone. Finn steps between
his brothers, his gaze fixed on me from across the small apartment.

He’s wearing the same clothes as he was this morning when we
parted ways, and his ash blonde hair is wind-blown and tousled. His jaw is
clenched, his eyes full of want. Relief and surprise spike through my blood,
giving my broken heart a jump start that sets it to whirring once more. Maddie
and Sophie stand with their hands to their mouths, as stunned by Finn’s sudden
appearance as I am. For a long while, not one of us can think of a word to say.
But then, a couple rise to my lips.

“Come here,” I whisper to Finn, holding out my hand to him.

His brown eyes blaze with feeling as he strides across the
floor, opens his arms, and draws me fiercely to him. I throw my arms around his
shoulders, burying my face in his neck as he lifts me clear off the ground. Our
older siblings look on, trading knowing smiles all the while.

“I’m sorry,” Finn murmurs in my ear, “I was such an idiot.”

“It’s OK,” I tell him, “We’re here now. Everything’s OK.”

“Well, not everything,” he says, setting me back on my feet
and catching my face in his hands, “But as long as we are, that’s all that
matters.”

“Oh, we’re more than OK,” I smile up at him, my eyes
brimming with happy tears.

He brings his mouth swiftly to mine, kissing me as though
it’s been a year, not a day since we saw each other last.

“Alright. I wasn’t quite ready for that,” Sophie mutters,
averting her eyes.

“I suppose this will all take some getting used to,” Maddie
offers.

“God willing,” Luke scoffs, “Right now, we don’t know
whether we’ll have anything left to get used to.”

“Hey! Kiddos! Quit sucking each others’ faces off and lets
get down to business,” Cash says, shutting the front door firmly behind him.
“We’ve got quite a bit to talk about, wouldn’t you say?”

Chapter Twelve

I look around the second-hand kitchen table, feeling like
I’ve wandered into some bizarro universe. All six of us, having paired off
behind closed doors, have brought our respective relationships out into the
open. There are no more secrets to keep, no more sneaking around, no more
wondering who knows what about who. For some, I’m sure that losing the illicit
secrecy would be a huge buzzkill, but for my part, I’m relieved. Not just to
have Finn back at my side, but to come clean about our relationship to our
siblings. I’ve never been a fan of not speaking the truth, after all.

Finn pours out a half dozen shots of whiskey from the bottle
at the center of the table, and each of us helps ourselves to one. We’re all
gonna need a little help to get through this.

“I guess the first thing we should decide,” Luke opens, ever
the diplomat, “Is what we’re going to do about this weekend. Do we head out to
the lake or not?”

“No fucking way,” Cash says firmly, crossing his arms, “I’m
not going to those assholes’ little engagement party.”

“Those assholes are still our parents,” Maddie counters,
“We’ll have to deal with them eventually, Cash.”

“Says who?” Sophie scoffs, “I’d be pretty content to write
them out of our lives.”

“Even if we could stand to do that,” Finn cuts in, “That
doesn’t solve the problem.”

We all pause to take a breath in the face of “the problem”.
The insurmountable, damning, bitch of a problem.

“It doesn’t matter if we acknowledge them or not,” I say
quietly, daring to voice our dilemma, “They’ll still be married. And that means
that we’ll all technically be step-siblings.”

Sophie shudders across the table as Maddie bites her lip.
Cash reaches to pour himself another shot while Luke’s jaw pulses with tension.
Under the table, Finn takes my hand in his. He squeezes my fingers, as if to
tell me that everything will be OK. The problem is, I’m not sure that I believe
him. And if not even Finn can comfort me, things must be at their most dire.

“It’s not…It’s not like anyone would know that we were…you
know,” Maddie says, blushing, “I mean, we live all across the country. And it’s
not like our parents come to visit for Christmas. We could just go on with our
own lives, even if they do get married.”

“You can’t be serious,” Sophie says, her eyes wide, “Maddie,
we
would still know. And people would be bound to find out eventually.
Have you never heard of the internet?”

“Sophie’s right,” Luke says, “Even if we could stomach
staying together once we were technically related, imagine what would happen to
each of us, when the truth finally came out. Imagine what it would do to your
career, Maddie, if ReImaged found out you were in a relationship with your
stepbrother.”

“I don’t give a shit about my career,” Maddie says
tearfully, “People could think whatever the hell they wanted.”

“Come on…” Cash murmurs, putting his inked arm around
Maddie, “Don’t cry, babe. We’ll figure this out.”

“How?” I ask honestly, “Even if we could stop them from getting
married, we’ll just have to deal with the same problems. The reason I wasn’t
that freaked out when I found out about Mom and John is because I assumed they
would break up in about a week.”

“Same here,” Finn says, “Hell, our dad has been telling us since
Mom left that he would never remarry.”

“Robin’s said the same thing,” I reply, “But even without
being married, their being together would have the same effect on us down the
line.”

“So what, our only option is to break them up?” Sophie asks,
raising an eyebrow.

We all exchange glances across the table.

“I mean…I don’t know your dad very well,” Maddie goes on,
“But I can say pretty definitively that our mom is not in a place to be a good
partner for anyone right now.”

“And our dad is an abusive jackass,” Cash says bluntly.

“They’d both be better off without the other,” Luke says,
“That much is for sure.”

“And if they weren’t together…” Finn says, glancing my way.

“We’d all be free to do what we wanted,” I finish his thought.

For a moment, I let myself consider the future I’ve been
imagining for me and Finn. I don’t know if marriage or anything is in our
cards, but at least we’d have the option if our parents broke up. I can’t even
bring myself to think of what my future would be like if I had to cut things
off with Finn now.

“So our strategy is to try and talk them out of it?” Maddie
says.

“I guess it is,” Luke exhales, as Sophie rests her head on
his shoulder.

“Then it’s settled,” I say, squeezing Finn’s hand, “We’ll all
head back out to the lake house. Tomorrow.”

“Goddammit,” Cash growls.

“It’ll be worth it,” Maddie assures him, and I’m amazed to
see Cash Hawthorne soften at the sound of her voice.

“It better fucking well be,” Cash replies, “I’m not leaving
until we get what we want.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Finn says, reaching for the bottle to
refill our shot glasses.

All six of us knock back our whiskey, and I relish the
smokiness as it cascades down my throat. We may not have a resolution just yet,
but at least we have a plan of action.

And that will have to do for now.

Since Maddie’s studio isn’t exactly big enough for six
people, the rest of us make other arrangements for the night. Maddie’s company
bought out a huge batch of rooms at a swanky waterfront hotel for this
weekend’s festivities, and the original plan had been for the older two
Hawthorne and Porter pairs to enjoy a couple nights there, gratis. But what
with our unprecedented change of circumstance, Maddie offers me and Finn the
room she and Cash were sharing before.

“Why don’t we keep the hotel and make them sleep here?” Cash
grumbles as Maddie hands me the hotel key cards.

“Why don’t you stop being a grumpy old man and say goodnight
to your brothers?” Maddie shoots back, giving Cash a little punch on the arm. I
have to say, I like the assertive version of her that Cash brings out.

The six of us say our farewells and set off. Sophie and Luke
hop into Luke’s car, and I follow Finn over to where his bike is parked. The
second our middle siblings drive away, Finn turns and wraps his arms around my
waist.

“How are you holding up?” he asks, his voice tight and
hoarse.

“Honestly? I’ve been better,” I laugh softly, laying my
cheek against his chest, “I could really just use a good night’s sleep.”

“Let’s get you back to the hotel then,” Finn says, keeping
his arm around my waist as we walk up to the bike. “We’ve both had pretty long
days.”

“Finn…” I say, stopping in my tracks, “Where did you go?
After you left me at the bar this morning.”

He turns to look at me, his jaw tensing.

“At first, I just needed to ride,” he tells me, “I was
afraid of what I might do…What else I might do if I didn’t blow off some steam.
After a few hours, I went back to the house, but you weren’t there. Just
Blaine, looking real messed up. Said he got in a fight last night at some bar.”

“That asshole,” I fume, my hands curling into angry fists.
“That lying asshole.”

“What?” Finn says, surprised by my reaction, “What do you
mean—?”

“He got in a fight alright, but not at a bar,” I tell Finn,
“Natasha beat the shit out of him. Right after she walked in on him trying to
make a move on me.”

“He did
what
?” Finn growls, anger blazing in his
eyes.

“Blaine cornered me in our room and…and tried to…” I can’t
go on. It’s too disgusting of a memory to conjure up.

“Are you OK?” Finn asks, his hands on my hips as he stares
into my eyes, “He didn’t—? Did he?”

“No, I pushed him off,” I assure Finn, “Probably broke his
foot in the process.”

“Good,” Finn snarls, pulling me into a fierce hug. “What the
hell was he thinking?”

“That he could get away with it, I guess,” I mutter, feeling
the anger pulse in my veins.

“Well he won’t get away it,” Finn tells me, “That’s for
fucking sure. If he had told me that this afternoon when I found him…Christ, I
would have killed him.”

“I honestly don’t doubt that,” I tell him, “I’m glad I got
to be the one to tell you.”

“I should have been there,” Finn says through gritted teeth,
“You shouldn’t have been alone in that house.”

“You couldn’t have known,” I try to assure him.

“Couldn’t I?” he asks, his eyes pained, “I’ve been making
excuses for the shit head for years. And for what? Because he let me crash on
his couch when I first moved out? It’s not like he didn’t get anything in
return. Me, Gabe, and Buck let him live out his rock star fantasies at our
expense, didn’t we?”

“I guess…I guess I didn’t want to turn you against him,” I
tell Finn.

“He did that himself, OK?” Finn assures me, “You didn’t do
anything wrong, Anna. It’s not your fault.”

I wrap my arms around Finn and hug him tightly, so relieved
to have this off my chest.

“There’s nothing you can’t tell me,” Finn says softly,
kissing the top of my head.

“And there’s no part of yourself you can’t show me,” I
return, gazing up at him, “Whatever side of yourself you were afraid for me to
see this morning, I can handle it. You don’t need to hide it. You don’t need to
run.”

“I know that now,” he says, “I do, Anna.”

“If we don’t stick together through this, we’ll never make
it,” I go on. “I have to know you’re not going to disappear on me again.”

“You couldn’t get rid of me again if you tried,” he says,
taking my face in his hands.

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” I say, “It’s our parents.”

“Leave that for tomorrow,” he says, leading me over to the
bike, “Let’s just make tonight about us.”

The implicit second part of his phrase goes unspoken—
because
this might be the last night we have together.

I climb onto the back of Finn’s bike and shudder as it
starts up, the machine vibrating madly between my legs. But this bike has
nothing on the source of raw power I’d
like
to have my legs wrapped
around right now. I settle for hugging my arms around Finn’s waist for the time
being and count down the seconds until we arrive at the hotel.

At least I can rest easy knowing that if any two people can
take full advantage of one last night in the same bed, it’s us.