Still Fine at Forty (2 page)

When I got back to my house, I noticed a Volvo parked in the driveway. I could spot my asshole ex-husband a mile away. And sitting in the car next to him was a young blonde. What the hell was The Home Wrecker doing sitting in my driveway?

I tried to hurry past their car unnoticed, but the minute Rob spotted me, he jumped out of the car.

“We need to talk,” he said without wasting any time on plea
santries. Rob looked a little disheveled, which surprised me. When we were married, he was always too perfectly put together. His shirt was wrinkled and his tie was a bit off kilter. I guess that’s what happened when he no longer had a wife, to take care of all of his clothes. Somehow I couldn’t imagine The Home Wrecker pressing his shirts every week. His dark hair was longer than I had ever seen it and looked scruffy. I wondered if he was growing it longer or if he just hadn’t had time to get it cut. He was also sporting a five o’clock shadow. Rob was always clean-shaven when we were together. I felt like I was standing next to someone I no longer knew.

“What do we need to talk about?” I asked a bit too snidely.

He glanced around but all of my neighbors were inside, presumably getting reading for dinner, which is what I should have been doing. “Can we step inside?” he asked uncomfortably.

I just stood there with my mouth gaping open. I could hardly believe his nerve.

“Please,” he pleaded. “This will only take a minute.”

I didn’t remember him being so whiny.
Or going bald. I noticed he was starting to get a small spot on the top of his head. Serves him right, I thought. 

I weighed my options. I could make a scene or just let him in. The quicker I talked to him, the quicker he and his tramp would leave.

“Okay,” I said, without even looking at him. I merely turned and headed into my house.

When we got into the living room, I noticed that The Home Wrecker had snuck out of the car and was now perched at his side. I didn’t invite her into my house but I decided not to make an issue out of it. Some things were just not worth the aggrav
ation. I did glare at her, though, and she returned the gesture. I was immediately struck by the fact that she had already gained a few pounds. She didn’t look pregnant yet. She just looked fuller.

“So, why are you here?” I asked sharply. I think Rob was a bit taken aback by my tone, but I didn’t care.

He hesitated for a moment then said, “There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just going to come right out with it. Megan would like for us to get married in the Catholic Church, so I need to know if you would be willing to sign some documents our lawyer is preparing for an annulment of our marriage.”

I could feel my chin drop nearly to the ground. He couldn’t be serious. An annulment would make our marriage invalid—worthless—null and void. Nearly twenty years of my life erased with the flick of a pen. I wasn’t sure what to say. Then it struck me. I glanced over at Megan, who was now gawking at me with her big blue eyes. She tried to feign innocence, but I knew a scheming shark lurked behind her cute little girl-next-door façade.

Rob was the one who committed adultery. He was the one who left me for another woman. He was the one who got his mistress pregnant out of wedlock. And he was asking to have our marriage annulled so they could get married in the Catholic Church. Oh, the irony.

Before I could even stop myself, I said, “I didn’t realize the Catholic Church was okay with having children out of wedlock.”

Now Rob’s eyes grew wide. “How did you know?”

“You mean besides the fact the Megan has gained at least ten pounds?”
I snarked. It was mean, but I just couldn’t help myself. She was such a hypocrite.

Megan glared at me.

Rob rubbed her arm in what seemed like an attempt to comfort her but she ripped her arm away from him. Trouble in paradise, I wondered? Wouldn’t that be karmic justice?

Pugsy
tentatively approached Megan and gave a few wags of the tail. She looked down at my dog like he had the plague. “Would you please get that thing away from me?” she snarled at no one in particular.

I chose to completely ignore her.
Pugsy continued to wag his tail in an effort to get Megan’s attention. She had a pained expression on her face. “I don’t want that dog near me,” she hissed.

“That’s too bad,” I said. “He lives here and you don’t. If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

Megan scowled but didn’t make any attempt to exit. She was clearly not used to not getting her way.

“Will you sign the papers, Jen?” Rob said.

I sighed. I considered telling them I would think about it. But what was there to think about? Rob had made his decision over a year ago and Megan won. What Megan wanted, Megan got. Now she wanted my marriage annulled.

As much as I missed my parents every day of my life since they died, I was just glad they didn’t live to witness my divorce. When they died, I was still happily married. At least that’s what I thought. Who knows if Rob was ever really happy with me? But my parents were devout Catholics, who believed that marriage was forever. But how could I have forever with a man who clearly didn’t want me? Hell, maybe Rob never truly wanted me at all. Obviously, he was ready to spend his life with someone else.

“Fine, whatever,” I said.

When I glanced over at Megan, I could see a sly smile for
ming in the corners of her mouth. Rob, on the other hand, looked a bit conflicted. This idea was clearly all Megan’s.

“I’ll get the paperwork to you soon,” he said then turned to walk out. Megan followed close on his heels. A few seconds later, they were gone.

Even though I hated myself for it, I started to cry. Pugsy hurried over to me with his tail wagging. I bent down and he gave me a big, sloppy dog kiss. Just what I needed.

Two

I got my suitcase from the hall closet. It was dusty from lack of use. Maybe Mel was right. Maybe I did need to have more fun. I looked through my clothes trying to decide what to pack. Everything I owned screamed English teacher. If Mel expected me to meet a man, my wardrobe was sorely lacking. I couldn’t remember the last time I owned anything sexy. Had I ever? Was that the reason Rob traded me for a younger model? I was no longer sexy and desirable. I wondered if I ever could be sexy again. I wiped the teardrop that had escaped down my face. I wanted to feel something other than sadness. 

When Mel picked me up, my mood had improved—slightly. I still wasn’t convinced of the wisdom of the trip, but she seemed pretty sure it was just what I needed.

She leaned over to me and said, “I know it’s been a while since you’ve been in the saddle, so to speak. Almost a year now, and by the way, I don’t know how you’ve done that, because I need my lovin’.”

Mel was my best friend, but she definitely got around, even when we were young. And she wasn’t picky about gender, either. If she was attracted to a person, she was bound to get him (or her) into her bedroom, no matter what it took. Generally, it didn’t take much.

“It has been a while,” I admitted. What I couldn’t admit was that it had been over a year because my ex-husband stopped having sex with me when he hooked up with The Home Wrecker. I later found out the reason. He didn’t want to cheat on his mistress with his wife. The irony of that stance was completely lost on him.

I wondered if I was still attractive. I had no way of knowing. My husband left me for a younger model, so that wasn’t a good sign. I thought I still look decent, for a forty year old. Was I really forty? And single? How did my life end up like this?

“What’s wrong, Chica?” Mel asked. “You look so deep in thought.”

I hesitated for a long moment then blurted, “Am I still attra
ctive?”

Mel laughed. Not a giggle either.
A big, hearty laugh. I wondered if that was good or bad. Was she laughing because it was a ridiculous question, and I was still attractive, or because I was so unattractive that the question was equally ridiculous?

When Mel glanced over at me, she gave me a warm smile. “I didn’t mean to laugh, but what a completely ridiculous question.”

I knew it. But why was it ridiculous? I was afraid for the follow-up. What if I was truly no longer attractive?

“Woman, you are fine. You were fine when we were in our 20s and you’re still fine at forty.”

Still fine, I thought. I’ll take it.

***

The trip from Phoenix to Sedona took a little over two hours. I had only been to that part of the state a few times and never with Rob. He didn’t like to travel. I had forgotten how beautiful and scenic the place was. But the beauty comes at a price. Sedona isn’t cheap.

The Sedona Mountainside Resort was definitely one of the more upscale places in town. When we pulled up to the front drive, I was immediately impressed. The brochure did not lie. The place was stunning. Sleek and sophisticated. I actually got a little chill of excitement as we hopped out of the car and grabbed our bags.

Mel paid for the valet service, which didn’t surprise me because she said she planned to go all out while we were on vacation. She never did anything half way.

The hotel lobby had a gorgeous fountain courtyard that spa
rkled with thousands of tiny lights. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.

Mel checked us in and handed me my room key.

“Excited?” she asked.

I nodded. I had to admit I was.

She smiled. “The lengths I go to get my best friend laid.”

I was suddenly glad we were the only patrons in the lobby. I could feel my face getting hot and I knew I was starting to turn red. I wasn’t sure I could live up to Mel’s high expectations for our trip.

“Let’s get dressed for dinner,” Mel said as she grabbed my elbow. “We can get a few drinks at the hotel bar and then I’ve got reservations at The Patio on Oak Creek. Open air dining. It’s a new place that’s supposed to be fabulous.”

“That sounds great,” I responded and we headed to our rooms.

***

I cringed a bit when I opened the door to my room. It was nearly the size of half of my house. I immediately felt a pang of guilt at how much the place must be costing Mel. I would have to think of a creative way to thank her.

The room somehow managed to feel cozy even though it was ultra-modern. I decided the fireplace opposite the bed probably contributed to the cozy feel. And the bed was thick with a huge comforter and gigantic pillows that looked extremely fluffy and inviting. I couldn’t resist lying down to give it a try. As soon as I did, I immediately regretted the decision. It was so comfortable, I didn’t feel like getting up again—ever. I sighed and sank into the bed’s depths of delight.

I knew Mel would be waiting for me, so I pulled myself from the coziness of the bed and headed into the bathroom. It was equally impressive. I had never been in a hotel with double sinks. I also noted that its stock of toiletries was much larger and more diverse than the standard roadside motel shampoo and lotion.

The hotel also had a huge marble shower and extra-large Jacuzzi bathtub, which looked large enough to easily accommodate two people. Nice. I would definitely be testing the tub out soon. Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to test it alone? Ha! Like that was going to happen. I tried to rein in my fantasies to more realistic proportions.

Twenty minutes later, I knocked on the door to Mel’s room. When she opened it, my eyes widened. She looked amazing. Mel was always attractive, but in the emerald green backless halter dress and pumps she had selected, she looked like a knockout.
When I glanced down at my knee-length flowered dress, I immediately felt inadequate. Yes, I was an English teacher, but did I have to broadcast it with every piece of clothing in my wardrobe?

Never one to mince words, Mel said, “We’re trying to attract guys not audition for a remake of
Little House on the Prairie
.”

Her words stung a bit but I knew she was right. My thoughts flashed back to the first time I saw The Home Wrecker in her tight little micro-shorts and V-neck that accentuated her very generous bust line. How could I have possibly competed with that? Especially if I really did give off a Laura Ingalls Wilder 1800s prairie vibe.

“Tell me you have something else to wear,” Mel implored.

I shook my head.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously, Mel,” I shot back with a little too much anger and hurt in my voice. “When do I ever go out?”

Mel grabbed me and hugged me. “It’s okay. We can fix it.”

She pulled me into her room and shut the door.

When she opened her closet, I nearly fell to the floor. The small space was overflowing with outfits. I knew she had brought a suitcase that made mine look tiny in comparison, but how did it hold everything that was in the closet? It was nothing short of a miracle.

“I know it may seem like a lot of stuff, but depending on who I meet, I want to make sure I’ve got all bases covered from slutty and seductive to elegant and classy.”

I had to hand it to Mel—in the dating department, she had it going on. Of course, she’d had many years of practice. While I spent most of my 20s and 30s married to Rob, she had been playing the field.

“So, what kind of mood are you in?” she asked. She pulled a red strapless silk chiffon dress from the closet. “This one is alluring temptress.” She handed it to me. Then she pulled a second one from the closet. “This is naughty girl.” The dress was shoulder-baring and black sequined. She pulled a third one from the closet. “This is vision of the night.” It was a lovely sapphire lace peplum dress that I thought might look good with my coloring.

“I realize I’m a bit taller than you, but these three are extremely short and tight on me, so I think they might work.”

“I’d like to try the blue one,” I said and handed her the other two dresses back. I took the dress with me into the bathroom. I held it up in the mirror. The color was stunning. I removed my prairie outfit and put the dress on. It was a tad bit loose but it would definitely work. When I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I nearly started to cry. There was an attractive woman staring back at me.
A woman who was still desirable, and maybe even still loveable.

There was a light knock on the bathroom door before Mel came in. She gave a slight gasp when she saw me. “You’re a knockout in the right clothes.”

I turned to her and smiled. “Thanks. You’re an awesome best friend.”

“I know,” Mel said and winked at me. “And now we’ve got some men to hunt.”

***

When Mel and I got down to the trendy hotel bar, it was a
lready starting to fill up. I was glad to see there was a bit of a crowd because then I wouldn’t stand out as much. Mel chose a small two-seat cocktail table and we both perched on the stools.

When the waitress came over to our table, we both ordered glasses of Chardonnay. I glanced around the bar. There was certainly no shortage of men in the immediate vicinity but most of them were older than us by at least ten years. Not that I had anything against older men. I hadn’t given it enough thought to even establish any kind of preference for whom I might want to date. Since there weren’t hordes of men lining up to date me, did I even have the right to be picky? Maybe a temperature and pulse were enough when you’re middle-aged and getting back into the dating game Ugh, how I hated those two little words.
Middle age. It made me feel ancient.

When the waitress returned, she gave us each our glasses of wine then leaned in close. “Your tab is being taken care of by the gentleman at the far end of the bar.”

Mel gave me a little Cheshire cat grin. She waited for what seemed like an eternity before she lifted her glass and turned in the generous man’s direction.

I noticed an older man, looking to be in his mid-50s raise his glass to us and smile. He was wearing a green polo shirt and dress slacks. He had a bit of a paunch but not the worst I had ever seen. I was glad to see he still had a thick head of hair, even if it was completely grey. I guess he would be considered attractive, but he was definitely not my type. Not that I really knew what my type was. I just knew he wasn’t it.

Mel turned back to me. “Is he still looking at us?”

I glanced up and he was still gazing in our direction. I no
dded.

“Good,” she said as she grin grew wider. “It’s time to go.”

Confused, I took a big sip of the wine the waitress had left. It was delicious and I was sorry to leave the rest of the glass. I noticed that Mel hadn’t even touched hers. “Aren’t you even going to drink the wine?”

She shook her head. I had no idea what she was doing but she seemed confident in her approach. We both stood and exited the bar. She didn’t look back. She didn’t do anything to acknowledge the man again. I found it both strange and fascina
ting.

We headed to The Patio on Oak Creek for dinner. The place was upscale but very intimate. The sun was getting ready to set and the outdoor
tables right on the shoulder of the creek were perfect. I had never had dinner with the lovely sound of the creek as background music. It was divine. 

I was glad we actually got to drink the wine we ordered. And we followed it up with delicious tomato bisque soup, then a main course of Chilean Sea bass, which seemed perfect with the creek setting. We decided upon a lighter desert of seasonal fruit and crème. 

On the walk back to the hotel, Mel reminded me of the plans for the following day.

“We have to get up early,” she said. “We’re booked on a Jeep tour. It’s supposed to be the best way to see the sites of Sedona.”

“How early is early?” I asked. “We’re supposed to be on vacation.”

“He’s picking us up right outside the hotel at 8:30.”

I cringed.

“This is supposed to be the best Jeep tour company in Sed
ona,” she continued.

I raised an eyebrow. “Says who?”

“Their website.”

I just shook my head. I was stuck on a Jeep tour first thing in the morning.

***

When the phone rang, I jumped out of bed. For a moment, I forgot where I was. On vacation, in Sedona, I slowly remembered as I realized there was no dog on the bed with me. No dog to kiss me awake and let me know he needed to go out. What time was it, I wondered as I looked over at the clock. Eight! How did I oversleep that much? I always got up at 6 a.m. I hadn’t overslept in 20 years.

The phone continued to ring. I picked it up.

“I’m so sorry,” Mel said. I wondered why she was sorry.
Already. We hadn’t even been in Sedona for twenty-four hours. Usually it took her a day or two to do something worth being sorry about. “I’m not going to be able to make it to the Jeep ride this morning.”

“But you’re the one who booked it,” I moaned. I didn’t even want to go on the ridiculous Jeep ride. She’s the one who talked me into it.