Stink: Solar System Superhero (3 page)

“You can call me Skunk, by the way,” said Nick.

“And you can call me Stink,” said Stink. “I thought I was the only person on the planet with a smelly name.”

“Nope. And guess what? I like smelly stuff, just like my name.”

“Me too!” said Stink.

“I was in a smelly-sneaker contest at my old school,” said Skunk.

“No way!” said Stink. “I got to judge a super-smelly-sneaker contest.”

“I smelled a durian fruit one time,” said Skunk. “It’s like the way-worst smell in the world.”

“P.U.,” said Stink. “I want to smell a corpse flower someday.”

“Freaky-deaky,” said Skunk.

“Double freaky-deaky,” said Stink.

“At my old school,” said Skunk, “back when there were still nine planets in the solar system, my science book had this neat trick about how to remember them.”

“My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas!” Stink and Skunk said at the same time.

“Now they’ll have to think up a new one,” said Skunk, “without the
P
for Pluto.”

“Let’s see. . . .” said Stink. “How about, My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nothing!” Skunk cracked up.

“My Very Excellent Mother Just Said U Nerd!” Sophie said, joining.

“Many Vampires Eat Mothballs Just So U Know,” piped up Webster.

“Those aren’t even the right letters!” said Skunk, chuckling.

“Many Vampires —” said Webster.

“Eat Macaroni Jelly Sandwiches —” said Sophie.

“Unless Naked,” Stink finished.

Skunk laughed. “Hey! That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Wait. I got it!” said Stink. “My Very Educated Monkey Just Spoke Utter Nonsense.”

“Good one,” said Skunk. “You get extra credit for that one.”

“I wish,” said Stink. “Hey, we should make up a new saying for real to remember the planets, including the three dwarf planets.”

“You mean Ceres, Pluto, and Eris, too?” asked Sophie.

“My brother says there’s another one too, called Makemake,” said Webster.

Stink’s head was spinning. He wrote eleven letters across the top of his notebook:

Then scribbled down words:

My Very Eager Mad Cat Just Scratched Up Nose-Picking Earwigs.

Now Sophie and Webster tried.

My Very Edible Macaroni Cheese Just Spit Up Nasty Puking Eyeballs.

Stink and Skunk howled then put their heads together and came up with another saying.

My Very Energized Mystery Car Just Shot Under Nine Police Escorts.

“That is so way good,” said Sophie.

When Mrs. D. came back, kids were talking loud and letting the class guinea pigs run loose and shooting hoops in the trash can. Mrs. D. blinked the lights. She clapped her hands five times. Class 2D took their seats and clapped their hands five times in response.

“Did anybody solve any problems while I was gone?” asked Mrs. D.

Nobody said a word. Stink passed a note to his friends.
Many Virginia Excited Math Children Just Screwed Up Not Practicing Education!

Skunk shot his hand up. “We did. Stink and I solved a problem.”

“Good for you,” said Mrs. D. “Which one was it?”

“The Pluto Problem.”

“The Pluto Problem?” Mrs. D. flipped through the pages of her Teachers’ Edition math book.

“It’s not a math problem. It’s a science problem.”

“Even better,” said Mrs. D. “It’s time for science anyway.”

Stink and Skunk told the class all about the new saying they made up. Riley Rottenberger raised her right hand. She was wearing a shirt that said
SPACE CADET
and calling, “Ooh! Ooh!” like she had a major stomachache.

“Riley? Did you have something you wanted to say?”

By now Mrs. D. should have known that Riley Rottenberger always had something to say.

“There’s a real saying for the dwarf planets,” said Riley. “A girl made it up and won a contest, and it isn’t about a mystery car or police. It’s, My Very Excellent Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants.”

“Thanks for letting us know, Riley. That’s very creative. Stink and Skunk came up with a creative sentence, too.”

Riley shrugged and made a sour-ball face.

“Boys, come see me after class,” said Mrs. D. “and see what we can do about those red
X
s.”

The next day, Stink was sitting at his own desk minding his own business when Riley Rottenberger waltzed past, showing off her new T-shirt. It did not say
SPACE CADET
. It did not say
SPACE OUT AT SPACE CAMP.
It said
PLUTO IS DEAD
.

“Who
is
that?” asked Skunk.

“Rotten Riley Rottenberger, aka Miss Know-It-All.”

Riley turned around. She fake-smiled at Stink and Skunk. “When is a planet not a planet?” she asked them.

“When it’s Grumpy?” said Stink.

“When it’s Sneezy?” said Skunk.

“No, when it’s PLUTO!” said Riley, cackling all the way to her desk.

“Pluto is SO a planet,” said Stink. “A dwarf planet.”

He turned to Skunk. “She thinks she’s so great ’cause she got to go to Space Camp.”

“For your information, Pluto is not a planet anymore,” said Riley. “Don’t you guys know anything? Oh, I forgot. You never went to Space Camp!”

Riley was right. Stink had never been to Space Camp. He had never tried on a space suit (except one made out of aluminum foil in preschool). And he never got to see inside a spaceship (except the cardboard-box kind).

“Did you get to ride in the gravity chair?” Skunk asked Riley.

“
And
the Five Degrees of Freedom Chair,” said Riley. “It floats on air.” Stink wished he had Five Degrees of Freedom from Riley Rottenberger.

“Don’t ask her questions,” Stink warned, “or she’ll never, ever stop.”

“Why didn’t Saturn want to sit next to Jupiter?” Skunk asked anyway.

“Why?” asked Riley.

“Because Jupiter had a lot of gas,” said Skunk, holding his nose.

“Hey, no fart jokes in class,” said Miss Know-It-All. “Mrs. D. said.”

“I have one,” said Stink. He couldn’t help himself. “Why didn’t Saturn’s mom want him to take a bath?”

“Why?” said Skunk.

“Because he always left rings in the bathtub!”

“Good one!” said Skunk. Riley ignored them.

“Time to get into groups,” said Mrs. D. Stink was on a team with Webster and Sophie of the Elves. He asked Skunk to join them. Each team was making a model of the solar system.

Stink and his team were using Styrofoam balls for the planets. They dipped hunks of raw wool in soapy water. Once the wool was stretchy, they shaped it around each ball to form the outer surface of the planet.

Riley’s team was making planets out of fancy clay.

Riley leaned over and pointed to the tiny ball in Stink’s hand. “What’s that?”

“What does it look like? It’s the planet Pluto. ”

“Stink Moody,” said Riley, “how many times do I have to tell you? THERE IS NO
PLANET
PLUTO.”

“Is too,” said Stink.

“Is not.”

“Is so too.”

“Riley, turn around,” Webster said. “You’re not even on our team.”

“I don’t see why everybody’s so down on Pluto,” mumbled Stink, adding a touch of purple-gray to his planet. “Pluto’s cool. It might be small, but it doesn’t just do what all the other planets do. It has its own orbit.”