Stink: Solar System Superhero (5 page)

“What do you think? I’m spying on what
you’re
doing out here in the middle of the night.” Judy’s flashlight hit the signs.
PLUTO IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL
. “Wow! Did you guys make all these?”

“Yep. Today. What do you think?”

“I think you have Pluto-itis. You need a Pluto-ectomy,” said Dr. Judy.

“I couldn’t sleep,” said Stink. “Just think,” he half-whispered, pointing to the night sky. “Pluto’s up there, right now, billions of miles away, just waiting for us to save it. To earthlings, it just looks like a golf ball with dimples. But it’s spinning out there with tons of other hunks of rock and chunks of ice. And it needs us.”

“And don’t forget space junk,” said Judy. “You know, the trash astronauts throw away. Like fridges and stuff.”

“They don’t have refrigerators flying around in outer space!”

“Yah-huh. And paper clips and sneakers and decks of cards and empty jars of Tang and all sorts of stuff.”

Judy and Stink tilted their heads back and stared up at the sky.

“Killer rocks are out there, too,” said Stink, “streaking through space. One could smash into Earth at any second. A big giant asteroid like the one that wiped out the dinosaurs could be on its way, headed right for Planet Earth.”

“Cosmic,” said Judy. “You better hope an asteroid hits before Mom and Dad find you out here in your PJs on a school night when you’re supposed to be in bed.”

Stink and Judy headed back to bed. But before they did, Stink turned off his flashlight. He held two fingers up to the sky.
“Urp!”
he said. “We come in peace.”

Early the next morning, Stink’s team stood out in front of the school. As the buses pulled up, Captain Pluto and the Underdogs waved their signs.

Rotten Riley marched up to Stink, hands on hips. “School hasn’t even started yet,” she said. “Mrs. D. said we could do this only during
recess
.”

“Who can wait?” said Stink.

Riley turned and stomped away. “Oh, you just wait. I’ll get you for this, Stink Moody.”

“That’s
Captain Pluto
to you!” yelled Stink.

“And the Underdogs!” yelled the Underdogs.

At recess, Captain P. and the Underdogs waved signs again. They shouted stuff. They even sang songs.
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T! That’s what Pluto needs from me,”
Stink sang at the top of his lungs.

“Give me a
P
!” Skunk yelled. “Give me an
L
! Give me a
U
! Give me a
T
! Give me an
O
! What have you got?”

“PLUTO!” yelled the Underdogs.

“I can’t hear you!”

“PLUTO!” screamed the Underdogs. Soon nearly half the whole playground was screaming, too.

Then out came Rotten Riley and the KPBs. They were dressed in black from head to toe and carrying shovels.

“Are they wearing
garbage bags
?” asked Sophie. Sure enough, Riley and the KPBs had on black garbage bags with holes cut where their heads and arms poked through.

Somebody yelled, “Who forgot to take out the trash?”

“We’re not trash,” said Riley. “We’re dressed in black because we’re going to a funeral.”

“Huh? Wha?”

“FYI, Pluto died. Pluto is D-E-A-D dead.”

Then Riley and her rotten team began to dig in the dirt, but they were not planting a garden. They were not searching for buried treasure. They were digging a grave. A grave for Pluto!

“We’ve been skunked!” said Skunk.

Riley took out a tiny plastic ball. “Pluto is officially dead,” she said, dropping the ball into the hole and covering it over with dirt.

“Good-bye, Pluto,” said the KPBs. “Sure, we’ll miss you. But you’re not a planet anymore.”

When they were done, they put up markers in the dirt, like at a pet cemetery.

“Moment of silence, please,” said Riley with a serious face. A hush fell over the second-grade crowd, and the playground was dead silent.

Stink felt like he was in a black hole. He couldn’t help it. He spoke. He broke the spell. “Pluto is SO not dead, Riley Rottenberger!”

Stink walked away at warp speed, leaving a dust tail behind him.

URP!

Stink had to think, think, think. He had to think up a way-smart Pluto plan. A rottener-than-Riley plan. Something that would convince Class 2D and Mrs. Dempster that Pluto wasn’t dead. But what?