Stitched Up Heart (Combat Hearts Book 1) (28 page)

U
gh, that’s gross.

She threw the wad of tissues in the trash and blew her nose again before splashing water on her face. There was no hiding her puffy eyes and splotchy face. She just wasn’t one of those women who was a pretty crier. Leaving the bathroom, she heard Jase’s voice in the living room. And Denise’s.

Oh, jeez.

The thick carpet was soft as she walked down the short hall. Denise leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, and stared down Jase who sat at the kitchen table with Gran. She met Bree at the island and hugged her hard.

“I brought a shovel,” she said, loud enough for Jase to hear.

Bree laughed into Denise’s shoulder, riding that fine line of emotional hysteria. She didn’t know if she could take anymore today. She was just too raw after being numb for so long.

“You good?” Denise asked.

“Yeah.”
No
.

The wall she’d so carefully constructed around herself lay in rubble. Jase had crashed through it with the force of a bulldozer. Her heart ached. For Jase and Ms. Carol. For Tony. For everything she’d had to feel in the last day.

“You lying?”

“A little bit. But I’ll be okay.”

“I figured that out when I didn’t see any blood stains on the carpet.”

She huffed. “Like Gran would let me get blood on the carpet.”

“I have a large tarp in the shed,” Gran said.

Bree broke the hug. Jase was a little wide-eyed, finding himself in a room of women calmly discussing the disposal of his body. “You’re fine,” she told him. “They’re kidding. Kind of.”

She looked at Denise. “How long have you been here?”

“Not long. About fifteen minutes or so.”

In a low voice, Bree asked, “Can I get you to leave again so we can finish talking?”

“Denise, why don’t you walk down to the coffee shop with me?” Gran must have heard her. Or knew her well enough to understand she needed a few more minutes.

“Sure. I could use some caffeine.” Denise rubbed her hand over Bree’s arm before following Gran out the door.

Jase stood and gathered Bree close. She wrapped her arms around his waist, her head rested on his chest while the steady beat of his heart thumped under her ear.

“Are we okay?” His voice rumbled in his chest, sending shivers through her.

“We will be. I just need some time.”

“Bree. Don’t compartmentalize me.”

She held herself still, unblinking. That was exactly what she would end up doing. Dealing with the pain meant tucking it away in places she didn’t have to visit. It was the only way she knew how to deal with the emotions raging through her. “I need a day or two to process everything I’m feeling right now.”

One of Jase’s hands left her back and rested on the side of her face. He tipped her head back, forcing her to look at him.

“Go out with me.”

“What?” Her brow furrowed.

“On a date. I’ll give you your day, but you have to go to dinner with me tomorrow.”

“You’re asking me out on a date? Isn’t that kind of backward?”

He grinned. “We didn’t really do this the normal way. And I want to see you in a dress.”

Could they do normal? It felt like a step back. They’d said they loved each other, and now he was asking her out.

“Don’t overthink it. It’s my way of giving you space without giving you a chance to shut me out.”

She dropped her gaze to his chest. He was being his usual overbearing self, but he was also right. Left to her own devices, she would find a way to distance herself in an effort to manage everything she was feeling. Still gazing at his chest, she nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

She met his gaze and smiled. “Okay, I’ll go out with you.”

His smile was wide and unreserved. He framed her face with his hands and kissed her. Closed mouth, sweet, and chaste. Yet carnal desire still raced through her veins. She parted her lips to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away.

His thumb brushed over the arch of her eyebrows. “If I kiss you like I want to, I won’t leave, and it might be a little awkward when your gran and Denise come back.”

That should have banked her desire like a bucket of water on a fire, but it didn’t. Even with the turmoil storming in her heart and mind, her body wanted him. Her physical response contradicted her earlier words.

“Stop looking at me like that while I’m trying to do the right thing,” he said. “Six-thirty tomorrow work for you?”

“It should. I’m not sure when my last appointment of the day is. If it’s later in the afternoon, I’ll let you know.”

“Call me tonight before you go to sleep.” He kissed her forehead, then the corner of her eye. The soft and tender way he held her saved him from being told he was bossy.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Another chaste kiss. He stepped away from her and strode across the room. Opening the door, he looked back over his shoulder and winked.

Bree pulled a glass from the cabinet and poured water from the filter pitcher on the counter. The water soothed her throat, swollen from crying.
I need a beer.
A couple of shots wouldn’t hurt, but Gran kept only wine in the house. Gran and Denise returned, carrying to-go cups of coffee.

“Where’s Jase?” Gran asked.

“He left.” Bree took the cup Denise held out to her.

“He what?” Anger laced Denise’s voice. “I though you said everything was alright.”

“It is. I told him I needed a little bit of time.”

“And he agreed?” Denise’s eyes narrowed.

“Kind of. He said he’d give me a day, but only if I’d go out with him.”

“What? Like, on a date, go out?”

Bree let out a small laugh. “Yeah, like on a date.”

“Huh.” Denise crossed the small kitchen and flopped down onto one of the recliners in the living room. “Told you he wouldn’t let you go very far.”

Bree rolled her eyes at Denise. Gran took her shoulders in gentle hands. She searched Bree’s face, and a soft hand tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Bree swallowed hard. She’d never been comfortable talking to Gran about her lingering issues. She didn’t want to burden her with the pain, the nightmares, or the guilt. But if she was going to stop compartmentalizing things, maybe she should start with the person who loved her most.

“Let’s sit.” Bree sat on the end of the couch and curled her legs under her. She took a sip of the coffee, flicking at a drop of foam on the lid. Polly climbed on the couch and curled up next to Bree.

“Jase’s best friend, Tony, committed suicide a few years ago. Jase blames himself.”

“Why?” Gran asked.

“The night Tony killed himself, he had called Jase, and Jase ignored the call. Jase found Tony the next day.” She glanced at Denise, who averted her gaze.

“Well now I wish I had given him a hug,” Gran said. “He must feel so guilty.”

“He does. This year was really bad.”

“Why?” Denise asked.

“He forgot. Because of me.”

“What the fuck?”

“Denise. Language,” Gran admonished. “Why does he blame you, dear?”

“He doesn’t really blame me. He’s happy. Because of me. But that makes him feel even more guilty.”

“What happened last night?” Denise asked.

She rubbed Polly’s ear, who licked the inside of Bree’s upper arm. “Quit licking.” She pushed Polly’s muzzle down and wiped her arm against her shirt. “I went by his house after talking to Ms. Carol.”

“Who’s Ms. Carol?” Gran asked.

“Tony’s mom. She’s also Jase’s receptionist.”

Gran nodded.

“I went by his house, and he was drunk. Said I wouldn’t understand what he was going through and told me to leave.”

“What did you do?” Denise asked.

Bree gave her a baleful stare. “I lost my shit. Then I came here.” Gran let that one go.

Denise assessed her. “How’re you really doing?”

“I’m raw.” Bree shrugged. “More emotional than I like to be.”

Gran rose from her chair and sat on the other side of Polly. Bree put her feet on the ground and Gran leaned in as close as she could, clasping Bree’s hands between hers. She stared at their hands before looking at Bree. “You remind me so much of your grandfather. When he came back from the war, he was different. Back then it was called
shell-shocked
. He’d retreat to his office for days, working on ideas. I worried for years. In much the same way, I worry about you.”

Bree dropped her head on her Gran’s shoulder, tears welling up in her eyes again. Polly licked at the underside of her chin. Gran’s simple, unfailing love washed over her. “You don’t need to worry about me, Gran.”

Grans cool hand, smelling faintly of her citrus lotion, rested on Bree’s cheek. “I will always worry about you, my darling girl. No matter what.” She kissed her forehead and rose from the couch. “Just promise me you’re talking to someone.” She looked between Bree and Denise.

“I am. I promise.”

“Denise?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She nodded. “I’m going to Bingo. They’re giving away an e-reader tonight. Are you girls staying for dinner?”

“I’m going over to Sarah’s,” Denise said.

Bree tilted her head back. “I’m going home.”

“Alright. Make time next week to come for dinner. Bring Sarah and the kids.” Gran leaned down and kissed Denise on the cheek. A few, short steps took her to Bree, and she repeated the gesture. “I love you girls. Lock up behind you.”

“Love you too, Gran,” Bree said. She and Denise stared at each other for a few beats.

“The truth?” Denise asked after Gran had closed the door behind her.

“I’ve had better days.”

Denise inhaled deeply. “You going to call Dr. Tailor?”

“I called this morning. She had an opening next week. You?”

Denise nodded. “Tomorrow. With everything going on with Sarah, I need to talk to her.” She stood and scratched Polly behind the ears. “I’m going to head out. Are we still on for this weekend?”

“As far as I know. I’ll check tonight when I talk to Jase.”

“Let me know.”

“Will do.”

“Good morning, Dr. Marks.”

“Morning, Cindy.” Bree set her bag on the floor by her desk and sat down.

“Are you feeling better? You don’t call in sick very often.”

Bree finished logging on to her computer and swiveled her chair to face Cindy who was standing just inside the door of her office.

“I am, thank you. I think it was one of those twenty-four hour bugs.” She didn’t feel great about lying but
I needed to recover from an emotional breakdown
probably wasn’t the best reason to call in sick. “Were you able to reschedule everyone from yesterday?”

“I was able to fit most of them in next week, but I had to add a couple of time slots to your schedule.”

“Morning or afternoon?”

“Both.” Cindy’s face twisted in apology.

Bree clicked through her schedule and noted where Cindy had added the appointments. She was going to have some long days next week. The only other option was to cancel her day off on Friday and skip the camping trip. Not an option. Jase had been relieved she still wanted to go, and she didn’t want to disappoint him by cancelling now.

She turned back to Cindy. “That’s fine. Can you keep a list handy of everyone you had to reschedule? If someone calls to cancel, go down the list and offer the spot to them first.”

“I already made the list.”

“You’re the best, thank you.”

“Of course. Are you sure you’re feeling better? You don’t really look a hundred percent.”

Nothing like being told she looked like crap. “I’m fine. I promise.”