Authors: Lauren Barnholdt,Aaron Gorvine
But I don’t have time to worry about their sibling rivalry. I get to the top of the stairs and find Natalia crying in the kitchen.
“Nat, please,” I say, moving toward her. I want to take her in my arms, but I can tell she doesn’t want me to get too close. So I stand there, feeling helpless.
She wipes at her eyes. Mascara is running down her cheeks. “I can’t believe I ever trusted you.”
“Listen,” I say, “Let me explain, it – ”
“STOP.” She steps towards me and suddenly her eyes are alight with anger. It’s explosive and it takes me by surprise. “Who do you think you are?” she says. “You think that just because I hurt your feelings it gives you the right to cheat on me? What kind of person does that?”
I hang my head. She’s right of course. No matter what the justifications, the reality is that I cheated on her. I’m a total scumbag. “I know,” I say. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
She laughs and it makes my stomach twist. It’s a laugh that makes it sound like she’s through with me. “Now you’re going to try and play the sad puppy? Whatever, Cam. All your jealousy about Brody, your accusations -- and then you go and do this.”
“Please,” I say, feeling myself starting to get desperate. “Can we go somewhere and talk? Nat, I love you, we can --”
“Don’t,”
she says, her voice ice
. “Don’t
say that. We went through hell and this is all it takes for you to run behind my back?”
“I know. And I’m sorry. But when your mom said I couldn’t see you, and then you didn’t come down the other night I thought that -- “ I’m trying to make her understand, but it’s the wrong thing to say.
“I
told
you! I did come down but you’d left! And you don’t listen to me, Cam.
You’re paranoid. You’re insecure. You kept thinking Brody was going to steal me away, which was ridiculous because apparently I was too dumb to realize which one of you is the real asshole.”
Her words are like a slap, and I take in a deep breath. “I deserve everything you’re saying right now,” I say, “I do. But it’s not that simple. You don’t know what’s gone on today, my mom, she –”
“It
is
that simple.” More tears stream down her face. I want to take her in my arms and wipe the tears away. I want to tell her I love her. But I know she doesn’t want to hear it. I’ve blown it. The sensation is like falling. Falling into a dark hole. She looks at me like I’m a stranger. No, worse -- like I’m an enemy.
She shakes her head and her eyes soften just for a brief second. But then they harden again. “I’m going to leave now,” she says. “And you are
not
going to follow me.”
And she walks out of the room, leaving me standing alone in Brody’s kitchen. I can’t move. The front door opens and slams shut. I run a hand across my face. Now for the life of me I can’t remember what caused me to feel as if I needed to turn to Kaci. I betrayed the love of my life, and for what? Because my ego was bruised? Because I couldn’t handle my mom’s drinking problem? Because I wanted instant gratification, something that was easy? I feel emptier than I’ve ever felt in my life.
Brody and Kaci come upstairs, and Brody looks at me with a mixture of contempt and—even worse—pity. “You need to pull yourself together, Cam. If you can’t do it for yourself or Natalia, at least do it for the team. You’re supposed to be a leader.”
He turns and walks out the front door, probably to go and find Natalia, to comfort her and help her get over my betrayal. Well, why not? I think. She deserves better than what I can offer her. I’m just some dude with a drunk for a mom, and apparently I can’t even be trusted.
“Hey.” Kaci’s standing awkwardly nearby. “You okay?”
I sigh. “No. Not really.”
“I’m really sorry,” she says. “I didn’t think anyone would be coming home this early.”
“It’s not your fault.” I try to smile at her but my face doesn’t seem to want to change expressions. I don’t bother trying again.
“Cam, I know it’s hard. But maybe it was meant to be, you know?” She takes a step toward me but I move away from her.
“I can’t really talk about this right now.” I run my hand through my hair. “I like hanging out,” she says. “It doesn’t have to be serious.”
“I know.” I take a deep breath and force myself to look at her. “But I think you deserve better than a guy who’s in love with someone else, Kaci.”
“I don’t need love.” She laughs, but there’s hurt in her eyes.
I shake my head. “The point is, I’m no good for anyone right now.”
“Okay. Well, you know my number.”
“I should go.”
She shrugs, like she doesn’t care, but I can tell she’s upset. “Whatever. See you.”
I walk to the door and let myself out. Part of me hopes that somehow Nat waited for me. I’d let her scream at me all day, every day for a year straight if I could just hear her voice and be near her. But she’s not here. She’s gone.
And then I’m in my mom’s car. It’s dark outside and I don’t notice or care where I’m going. I’m just driving and driving, heading down old winding roads, following one into the next into the next.
After a while the houses become few and far between, and it’s mostly just woods and fields with a few farms. When I do pass a house now and again, I notice the lights on in the windows and wonder if the people inside are happy. I wonder if there’s a family inside, together, making jokes, laughing. Maybe there’s a guy like me with a girlfriend over for dinner. She’s smiling and grabbing his hand under the table. I imagine that Natalia and I exist in some parallel universe where nothing bad ever happens. We’re just there spending time with each other, thinking about our future. College, marriage, kids, the whole thing.
And then I’m on the darkest stretch of road yet. What happened? How did it get so dark? Why can’t I see anything in front of me?
I realize that my headlights have gone out. The interior lights are out as well.
And then the engine starts to make strange noises. I try to shift gears but the car is shuddering and sputtering, until finally, it comes to a grinding halt in the middle of the road.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I swear. I don’t have a cell phone to call anyone or get a tow. I don’t even know where I am. I sit there for a moment wondering what I should do.
Finally, I get out of the car and choose a direction, start walking. It’s pitch black out, and I’m hoping I’ll come up on a house or a farm soon. But after a couple of miles, there’s still nothing but woods and fields. The only sounds are my steady footfalls on the road and the wind in the trees, but eventually even the wind dies out. I try whistling a tune just to keep myself company.
It’s too dark out here. Creepy dark.
I stop whistling and switch to singing. An old Stain’d song, the one with the lyrics about fucking things up. It fits my mood.
And then I hear it. Laughter, somewhere nearby.
I stop and stand still, listening.
“Hello?” I call out.
Nothing.
I start walking again. The chill in the night air is getting to me and my cheeks and ears are cold. My eyes are watering a little as the wind whips over me.
I stop singing and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other. I wonder how long it’ll take to reach a house or see another car.
Why the hell didn’t I get a
new cell phone when I had the chance? More screw-ups. Lately that’s all I seem to be capable of.
And then more laughter from nearby. I stop walking again and listen, cocking my head. “Hello?”
This time the laughter continues. It’s almost like giggling, but more high pitched, and coming from no discernable direction. I look up at the trees towering above my head. Is someone up there, laughing at me? Watching me?
And then I see the three shadowy figures on the road up ahead. They’re not close enough for me to see who they are. They’re just standing there, not moving,
“Who’s there?” I demand.
This time the laughter is uproarious.
“Oh, Cam. Come on, you haven’t forgotten us so soon, have you?”
Instantly I know. They walk closer. It’s the Triad, their faces coming into a dark focus when they get within a few feet of me. “What do you want, Raine?” I ask. I’m not afraid of her. She killed Hadley, but I don’t think she’ll hurt me. She needs me.
She shrugs, her blonde hair pooling around her dark leather jacket. “I miss you, Cam.”
“You don’t miss me. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
Teri and Becca laugh at this, but Raine silences them with a look. “That’s not true, Cam. I’ve done my best to help you and Natalia. I could have destroyed you both if I wanted to.”
“Like how you destroyed Hadley? You killed her. Murdered her in cold blood.
Fucking psycho.” I go to push past her, but she steps in front of me and runs a finger down my cheek. Her touch makes my blood run cold.
“Hadley wasn’t innocent,” Raine says. Her closeness is making my head a little foggy, and I force myself to look away from her. “Hadley would have done the same to me if the order had come down from her superiors. As it was, she did almost kill me.”
She smiles. “But that’s all water under the bridge now.”
“Not to me it isn’t. Just leave me alone.” I turn around and start to walk back the way I came.
But a second later she’s standing in front of me again, tapping her foot, arms folded. “Cam,” she says. “Don’t be stubborn. It’s just going to make this harder on everyone.”
Behind me, more high-pitched laughter from the peanut gallery.
“What do you want from me?” I ask. “You’ve won, okay? You’re the best, whatever, everyone knows it. And I’m not with Natalia anymore, so you can stop fighting over me.”
“I was never fighting
over
you,” she says and rolls her eyes. “I just need you, baby.” Her voice softens, and even though it’s obviously a put on, it’s working. She has this power over me, always has.
My thoughts are starting to get all jumbled and the world feels less and less real.
It’s like I’m in a waking dream. Her voice comes to me from far away now. She takes me by the hand and leads me out of the road and into the forest.
I follow her, my feet tripping over some branches. I fall to the grass.
“Cam, honey, be careful.”
More laughter.
“Don’t laugh at me.”
“Nobody’s laughing at you.”
And then they’re all standing around me.
I can’t seem to move very well.
“What now?” Becca asks.
“God, I’m so drained from everything I’ve been through the last couple of weeks,” Raine says.
Teri slings an arm over Raine’s shoulder. “You know what you need.”
Raine kneels down next to me, and all I can see now is her face. Her blue eyes, her lips, her breath on my skin. And then she’s kissing me, starting with my neck and moving up until she reaches my mouth. Her tongue slides in and moves against mine.
I’m kissing her back. I can’t resist. My body is in a state of ecstasy. I moan involuntarily. “Raine,” I whisper.
“Yes,” she purrs back. Now she’s undoing my belt. “I need you.”
It’s like I’m falling backwards, down a dark, dark hole. My breath is fading now.
I can’t breathe and I’m gasping for air. But Raine is sucking it all out of me. Sucking it all out and suddenly I’m afraid that I’m going to die out here in the woods.
“I need you inside me,” she moans, and gets on top of me.
I try to scream but nothing comes out.
Chapter Three
Natalia
I’m out of Brody’s house and on the street before I realize that I don’t have any way to get home. My house is way too far for me to walk, and it’s starting to get really dark out now. I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out my new phone, wondering if I should call my mom. But what would I say? “Oh, hi, Mom, I got here and Cam was making out with Brody’s little sister so could you please come and get me?”
I’m sure she would just love that. At least she’d be able to say she was right, that I shouldn’t be talking to Cam. Although she’d be wrong about why – Cam might have cheated on me but I know there’s no way he’d ever hurt me. Well, at least not physically.
I’m thinking about maybe calling Adrianna and asking her to come and get me, when I hear footsteps on the pavement behind me
. Cam.
My heart soars even as I think his name, even as I tell myself I shouldn’t be excited, that he means nothing to me now, that we’re over. I look over my shoulder, the wind whipping my hair into my face. But it’s not Cam who’s come after me. It’s Brody.
“Hey,” he says, and falls into step next to me.
“Hey.” We keep walking, and he doesn’t say anything for a while, just lets me storm angrily down the street. My hands are crammed deep into my pockets and my head is down, protecting my face from the wind.
“You want to talk about it?” Brody asks finally.
I look over at him. He’s facing straight ahead, his cheeks red from the cold night air. He looks tall and strong, and his tone is nonchalant, like it’s totally up to me whether or not I want to talk about what just happened.
“Not really.”
He nods, then says, “You still want pizza?”
***
He takes me to an Italian place a few blocks away, on Main Street, called Giovanni’s.
“I’ve never been here before,” I say as we walk through the parking lot, the gravel crunching underneath my shoes.
“Most people haven’t,” Brody says, holding the door open for me, “and I want to keep it that way. Which is why I don’t tell anyone about it.”
“You’re telling
me
about it,” I point out. He holds the door open for me, and I slip inside the restaurant.
“That’s because you’re special,” he says, grinning. “And because I know you can keep a secret.”
The hostess leads us to a booth in the back, next to floor-to-ceiling windows that give us a view of the outside. There’s a cream–and-violet colored votive candle on the table, and the light bounces through the cutouts in the holder, casting dancing shadows on the tablecloth.
When the waitress comes over, Brody orders us a pizza with pineapple and bacon to share.
“Best pizza you’ll ever have,” he says.