Authors: Jessica Gunhammer
As
upset as I was with Nate, I should be able to just call him an asshole and move on to the next one. But for some reason I had the urge to prove to him that I’m
not
that girl he said I was. Even if he still didn’t want to date me that’s fine, but I needed him to know that girl wasn’t me
. I
needed to know that’s not me. Some of what he said was true and some of it wasn’t, but either way, I wanted all of it to change.
Even though Nate ran after me this time
, he didn’t make any effort to contact me after. Granted, it’d only been a few hours, but that conversation and those few hours had changed my whole perspective on things and who I want to be. Needless to say, my world was about to be rocked.
I’d decided t
hat when my parents got home I was going to sit them down and tell them I wasn’t going to school to become a doctor. That was their dream, not mine. I’m going to take a year off, find a job, and travel. Just like
I’ve
always wanted to do. I’m completely prepared for them to freak out and cut me off from everything, but I’m okay with that. I’m ready to do this.
As much as I was hurt
by what Nate had said to me, I was also a little relieved. He had opened my eyes to what was going on around me. It was the push I needed to finally stand up to my parents and get some of the weight lifted off my shoulders.
The
talk with my parents went just as I had planned. They totally flipped. They told me I needed to focus on getting a real job and that if I took time off to travel, I would be wasting valuable time and that would put me that much farther behind in life. They also told me I needed to grow up and realize what was important in life. When I told them that was exactly what I was doing, things went from bad to worse and there went my car and computer. After about two hours of bickering back and forth, they finally sent me to my room to “think about life and let what just happened sink in.”
When I got to my room I picked up my phone. I’m gl
ad they forgot to take that away. I’m sure they’d be in tomorrow morning to add it to the list. I noticed I had seven missed calls and a text from Tori. That’s strange. She doesn’t usually blow up my phone like this. I opened the text from her:
Call me ASAP!
I did as I was told and she picked up on the second ring.
“It’s about time!” Her voice was
shaky and I could tell something was wrong.
“Sorry, I was talking to my par
—”
“Nate got in a motorcycle accident
.” My stomach dropped. “It’s bad, Summer.” She started to cry on the other end of the line. I could feel that all too familiar lump forming in my throat again.
“Where are you at?”
“We’re at the hospital.”
“I’m on my way.” I hung up my phone and grabbed my purse off my bed. Lucky for me
, my parents hadn’t taken my keys away yet because it was way past my curfew and they knew I wouldn’t dare go out past it. Well, tonight was an exception.
I hurried out the door and jumped in my car. I didn’t even bother to tell them I was leaving. I knew they would hear my car but I didn’t
care, Tori needed me and I needed to be there for Nate. That was all that mattered right now.
***
I walked into the waiting room and saw Tori, Brent, and Lynn sitting in some chairs in the corner. I ran over to Tori and threw my arms around her. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying.
“How is he?” I asked.
She shrugged. “We don’t know much,” she whispered. “We just know he lost a lot of blood and he’s in surgery right now.” My stomach got queasy.
“What happened?”
“We’re not really sure. He and Brent were out riding and Brent said he looked in his mirror at some point and realized Nate wasn’t behind him. So he stopped at a gas station and waited for him to catch up. After a few minutes when he didn’t show Brent started to get worried, so he turned around and went back the way he came. He said he had a feeling something bad had happened so he started looking in the ditches and that’s when he noticed Nate’s bike. When he got to the bike he didn’t see Nate, so he flagged some lady down and they searched the ditch together. They found him a few feet away…it wasn’t good.” Tori started to cry again. I tried to block the images that were flooding my head but I couldn’t, they were making me physically sick. I looked over at Brent.
“Was he wearing a helmet?” He just nodded.
Thank God for that,
I thought. I’d never seen Brent look so pale, all the color was drained from his face. He was leaned over with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. I knew what he was thinking. He was finding ways to blame himself for what had happened to Nate.
“I’m going to
the restroom,” Tori said.
“I’ll go with you.”
Lynn got up with Tori and they walked down the hallway.
I
moved over to the seat next to Brent. He didn’t even look up. I sat down next to him and leaned back in the chair.
“It’s not your fault.” He looked up at me. I could see the pain in his eyes. I leaned forward and put my hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault he got in that accident.” He didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head to let me know
he heard what I said before looking back down at the ground.
We had been sitting in the waiting room for about three hours. Every time a nurse came out from the emergency room door
s we would all look up in hopes to get some kind of update. When a dark curly haired woman came out, we all looked up—this time she was looking at us.
“Are you Nate’s family?”
she asked.
Brent jumped up from his chair. “I’m his brother.” We all knew he could get in big trouble for lying
, but nobody said a word. Every one of us would’ve done the same thing if we were in his position.
“Great
. Nate’s doing good. He just got out of surgery. He’ll be in recovery for awhile.”
“Is he awake? Can I see him?”
“He’s not awake yet and you’ll be able to see him when we take him up to his room. It could be a few more hours, though.”
“That’s fine. I’ll wait. Is he going to be okay?”
“I’ll start out by saying he was very lucky you got him here when you did. You saved his life, you and that helmet he was wearing. But, he did have some severe leg damage.”
“Will he be able to walk again?”
“I won’t say he won’t ever walk again, but he’ll have a long road of recovery ahead of him. If or when he does walk again, he might always have a limp.”
Brent nodded his head. “Thank you.”
“I’ll have a nurse come get you when you can see him.” We watched as she walked back through the doors.
“We should really try and get ahold of his parents
,” Lynn said.
“Mom, I’m not going to do that until he gives me the go
ahead to do so. They have a horrible relationship, and the last time he talked to them, his mom was living in a drug house and the only thing she cared about was how she was going to get her next high.” I was shocked at the words that came out of his mouth. I knew Nate said he wasn’t close with his family, but I had no idea why. “We’re his family now. I’m staying here and going to help him out any way I can.”
“Okay
,” Lynn said.
“Why don’t all you guys head home
? They probably won’t let you go back to see him tonight, anyway. I want someone to stay with him at all times, so maybe you guys can get some sleep and come up and switch out with me in the morning?”
“I will
,” Tori answered.
“Al
l right. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
Lynn
gave Brent a hug. “I love you, Brent. Everything is going to be okay. He’s okay and that’s all that matters.”
“I love you too
, Mom.” I took one last look at him before walking out the sliding glass doors. If it hurt me this much to see Brent in so much pain, I could only imagine how I would feel when I saw Nate.
Tori texted me early the next morning and let me know she was on her way to the hospital to be with Nate while Brent went home to
get some sleep. After I got ready, I went through the drive-thru at one of the local coffee shops and ordered our regulars. Then I made one final stop at a gas station to pick up a few of the weekly magazines before heading to the hospital to join her.
None of us were sure how long Nate might be out for.
The doctor said he should wake up in the next day or so, but his body needed time to heal and sleeping was a major part of the healing process. Brent still refused to contact Nate’s parents. I don’t even know if he knew where to start if he wanted to.
I walked through the sliding doors of the la
rge building. I passed the tall desk in the front, where two ladies were answering phones and staring at their computer screens. I made my way to the elevators and slid between the closing doors of one. It was empty and my hands were holding the two coffees, but I managed to push the number to Nate’s floor.
I
wasn’t sure what to expect when I saw him. I knew the accident was pretty bad and his legs took most of the damage, but I wondered what his face would look like. Would it have taken any damage since he was wearing a helmet?
The doors of the elevator opened and I followed the arrow to the even number
ed rooms. I’d never liked hospitals, they’re always so bland and boring. They reminded me too much of…death. I didn’t like to think like that, but I blamed it on all the movies and TV shows I’d watched that have taken place in hospitals, someone always died.
My stomach turned
when I thought about it. Nate wouldn’t die, he couldn’t die. I couldn’t watch Tori and Brent go through that. The doctor said everything should be fine. Maybe this will change my perspective of hospitals and make it a more positive place. I heard a loud beeping coming from one of the rooms. I watched as a few nurses ran into the room and called for a doctor.
“There you are.” I
saw Tori on the other side of the circle desk that sat in the middle of the room.
“Hey, I brought you this.” I handed her one of the coffees.
“Thanks.” She put the cup up to her pink glossy lips and took a sip. “That tastes like Heaven.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Still the same. The nurses come in every hour to check on him and his IVs. No sign of him waking up yet, though.” She turned her back towards me and waved her arm, gesturing for me to follow.
I didn’t move from where I was standing. I was a little hesitant. It didn’t feel right being here. Nate and I may have kissed and I know
we have some kind of connection that I’d never had with anyone else and I can’t quite explain myself, but when it comes right down to it, I really didn’t know him all that well. This just felt so…personal.
Tori stopped when she got to the doorway of one of the rooms and turned around. “You coming in?”
“I…” I took a piece my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “I need to find a restroom.”
“It’s back down the hall to the right. Y
ou want me to take your coffee?” I nodded and handed her my cup. “We’ll be in here.”
As I turned and walked back down the hallway
, I tried to avoid looking in the room with all the nurses running in and out of it. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous about seeing Nate. I guess I was worried that maybe he’d wake up and wonder why I was here. Our last little run in didn’t exactly go as smoothly as either of us wanted it to.
I pushed open
the door to the woman’s restroom and walked over to the sink. I stared at myself in the mirror. I tried to hide the bags that lingered under my eyes with concealer but I could still see them. I didn’t get much sleep last night. My parents were
not
happy with me when I got home, but after I told them everything that had happened, they understood that I needed to be there for my friend. They said I was still grounded but I was allowed to go to the hospital and back home, and that was it. I took a few pieces of the loose hair that had fallen out from the bun on top of my head and tucked them back into the hair tie. Okay, I needed to pull myself together and remember even if Nate’s not happy with me being here, I was here for Tori. She needed me right now.
I walked out of the restroom and went down the hallway until I reached the door to Nate’s room. I stopped just outside the doorway and took a deep breath. I went inside and the first thing I could see around the corner was Tori sitting in a chair next to the bed. She stared down at her coffee but looked up and gave me a small smile when she heard me enter. I continued around the corner and
saw Nate lying in the bed.
My stomach got
nauseous. I was glad to see his face and head weren’t nearly as beat up as I thought they would be. He had a few bruises and scratches here and there but nothing too major. I looked down at his arms. They were worse than his face. He had major road rash up and down his arms, they were bright red and they still looked fresh. I think the thing that got to me the most was all the machines hooked up to him. They had tubes up his nose to help him breathe and they had needles in his hands that led to several IV bags hanging on a stand next to him.
I sat in the empty chair next to Tori and looked back up at the monitors. I really didn’t like them. They made noises and had
colored lines that moved up and down. They made me uneasy, like one wrong move or bump and everything could come crashing down and start some kind of alarm like the room down the hall.
“It’s a little overwhelming, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” I tried my best to give her some sort of smile but I don’t think my lips made any movement. “I brought some magazines.” I pulled them out of my purse and handed them to her.
“Good. There
’s only so much you can watch on basic cable.” She pointed to the TV mounted in the corner of the room. I knew she probably didn’t want to talk about the situation any more than she had to, but as weird as things had been between me and Brent, I still felt bad for him.
“How’s your brother doing?” She set the magazine she was flipping through down
in her lap.
“He’s been better, that’s for sure. My mom came and picked him up because we both agreed it’d be best if he didn’t drive home. He looked like shit this morning. I know he didn’t get any sleep and he’s beating himself up over this whole thing. He thinks it’s his fault for some reason.”
“That’s not true.”
“I know it’s
not, but he won’t listen to me. He keeps saying…” Tori’s voice started to crackle. “He keeps saying it should have been him.” Tears started to run down Tori’s cheeks. I pulled her close and hugged her as tight as I could. “It’s bad enough seeing Nate in here. I can’t imagine if it had been Brent.” She continued to cry and I just held her.
“Everything happens for a reason and all of us
will come away with some sort of lesson from this. I know you probably don’t want to hear that right now but it’s true.” She pulled back from me and nodded.
“I’m going to go to the restroom and try and p
ull myself together. I would hate for Nate to wake up to something like this.”
“Do you want m
e to come with you?” I was halfway hoping she would say yes. But she shook her head.
“No
, I promised Brent someone would be here if Nate woke up and that he wouldn’t be alone for a second.” She got up and walked out the door.
I stared at Nate, trying to figure out these emotions I was feeling. I was so sad
, and every time I looked at him I was doing everything in my power to keep the lump in my throat down. I wasn’t sure if I was sad because I was around Tori and running on three hours of sleep or if these were actual feelings I had for him. I caught some movement on the bed in my peripheral vision. I looked down and saw his fingers twitching. My heart skipped a beat. Was he waking up? I thought about running down the hallway to get Tori until I remembered the promise she made to Brent. I slowly placed my hand on top of his and folded my fingers into the palm of his hand. His fingers didn’t move. So I did what I thought felt right.
“Nate, it’s me, Summer. I know the last time we
saw each other things didn’t exactly go very smoothly, and I’m sorry.” I could feel a tear run down my face. “But you need to pull through this. Please pull through this, for Brent and Tori.” I almost jumped when I felt it, Nate’s fingers twitched again. I waited a few seconds before I said the one thing I knew would push him further than anything else. “I dare you to pull through this.” I felt his fingers tighten around mine. I may not know much about Nate Thompson, but I knew one thing, he loved a challenge.