‘Oh they are, they are lovely!’ I bubbled from the inside, I could get used to this.
He wore dark trousers, a dark top and a black coat, he looked amazing.
‘You look lovely and warm.’ He moved forward to kiss me.
‘You look handsome yourself.’
‘Shall we go?’
‘Where are we going?’ I was intrigued.
‘Not too far, just out for a good walk in the freezing cold.’
‘That sounds cool.’ What else could I say?
He laughed and waited while I locked the door. He led us to a black Audi.
‘Where’s the van today?’
‘That’s for work, I’m off today so I’m driving my social car.’
‘Nice!’
He held the door open for me to get in. Was this too good to be true, was this handsome hunk everything he said he was? He jumped into the drivers seat and flashed me his smile. We took to the road in silence, at times he just placed his hand on my leg and rubbed it gently until we got to our destination. We stopped at a little walking and boating park. It was freezing but I was glad I’d wrapped up warm. He walked to my side and opened the door.
‘I was hoping we could walk and talk.’ He gave me his hand to help me out.
‘That sounds like an idea.’
‘Unless of course you wanted to sit down and talk in a coffee shop.’
‘Nooo, this is fine, it’s different.’ I was grateful it wasn’t the typical date, if that was what it was.
We started our walk; it was a quiet one with only a few elderly people and some dog walkers on the way. He took my hand in his, brought it to his lips and gave it a kiss. It felt comfortable, normal as if we’d been doing this for years. I leaned into him for a moment and took in the scenery, and to think I never wanted to date again.
‘So I thought this would be a great opportunity for us to talk. To get to know each other; I really like you Ms Jacobs.’
I laughed at the way he used my surname.
‘Okay, what do you want to know?’
‘Let me start with how much I know and then you can add on to that.’
‘Okay.’
‘You’re Hazel Jacobs and you’re a mother of?’
‘One boy Lloyd.’
‘What do you do?’
‘I’m a freelance journalist. After I had my son it was the best way to work, I could stay home and work.’
‘You were married before?’
‘Yes for twelve years.’
‘Wow, if you don’t mind me asking how old are you?’
‘Forty this year?’
‘You don’t look it.’
‘Thank you that’s kind. How old are you?’ It had never crossed my mind to ask.
‘Thirty seven.’
‘You don’t look it either, I thought you were thirty.’
He smiled and squeezed my hand.
‘How long have you bee divorced then?’
‘Two years.’
‘What happened? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.’
‘Its fine, I’m over it. He had an affair, not just once, it was a constant thing in our lives. I just couldn’t take it anymore.’
He looked at me and nodded, ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘I’m fine now, he’s not even with the woman he left me for.’
‘I’m glad he left you.’
‘Why?’
‘I wouldn’t have met you if he hadn’t. He would’ve probably figured out the washing machine.’
‘I don’t think we would have taken that one, we had such different tastes.’
‘Your parents still alive?’ he asked.
‘My mum, my dad passed away seven years ago. Heart attack.’
‘Sorry to hear that.’
‘How about you, parents?’
‘Yeah both are still alive, and both live down in Scotland. Four years ago they came up with this crazy idea to move down there.’
‘At least they’re doing what makes them happy.’
‘True, it’s just a journey now to go down to see them.’
‘Are you an only child?’
‘Does it show?’
‘Not really, just guessing.’
He laughed lightly and we stopped for a moment. He put his hands to my cheeks and pressed his lips against mine.
‘The minute you opened your door I was in love with you.’
‘Really?’
‘It’s true, tell me you felt it too.’
‘I did, I felt it.’ It was true there was something about him, not just his good looks that had attracted me to him.
‘I’m glad to hear it.’ We continued to walk.
I turned to him and watched him for a while, there were so many questions I was burning to ask.
‘It looks like you want to ask me some questions.’
‘You are right about that.’ I didn’t know how to start. Even though I’m a straightforward person sometimes I found it difficult to ask the important questions; the questions that mattered.
‘Have you ever been married before?’
He was silent for a while, how hard would it be to give me a yes or no answer?
‘It’s complicated,’ he said finally.
‘What do you mean, you’re either married or you’re not.’
‘Let’s just say I’m not in a relationship anymore. Will that do?’
I hesitated, there was that feeling in the pit of my stomach that was begging me to not accept that answer but I said, ‘Yeah sure. Any children?’
‘Unfortunately not. I would’ve loved to have children but my situation didn’t allow.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘My partner at the time couldn’t have children.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Yeah, it’s hard; the relationship has been hard, but... anyway I hope one day if you want me I could meet your little boy.’
‘What do you mean if I want you?’ I stopped and he did the same.
‘I like you Ms Jacobs.’ He laughed and took both my hands into his. ‘I want to go out with you. Will you go out with me, will you try this with me?’
I lowered my head for a moment and kicked the wet sand, it was all happening too fast. I looked up again and was taken in by his eyes.
‘So?’
‘Okay, I will try this with you.’
He took me into a hug, it felt good. I stayed there for as long as he would have me and then we continued our walk. It was just another fifteen minutes and then we made tracks back to my house.
‘Would you like a coffee, I have another thirty minutes before I go for Lloyd.’
‘Thanks for the offer but I think I better be heading home.’
I nodded sadly.
‘Don’t look so sad.’ He kissed me gently. ‘Are you available this Saturday evening?’
Obviously! I wouldn’t miss being with him for the world but then again I had Lloyd I couldn’t just shove off when I wanted to.
‘Leave it with me. I’ll let you know. It’s just that I’ll need to find a babysitter for Lloyd.’
‘I understand. Just give me a ring. It’s the same number I called you on to book the appointment.’
‘Let me just check I still have it.’ I fiddled in my bag and scanned my mobile then put in his name. ‘Got it.’
‘Okay then.’
‘Yes okay.’ It was so weird. I’d slept with this man why was it so difficult just to get chatting at times?
‘Bye Ms Jacobs.’ He kissed me then left.
‘T
hanks for doing this,’ I said as I opened the door to Grace.
‘Is that him mum?’ Lloyd called from the living room.
‘No, finish your food.’ I let her in. ‘He’s eating in front of the telly for peace, honestly the things I do for peace is ridiculous.’
‘I’ll handle him, I have some fun activities in my bag.’
‘Thanks Grace, you’re a life saver.’
‘Go on, go finish up.’
I still had some curlers in my hair and my makeup wasn’t done.
‘Thanks, I’ll be upstairs if you need. Me.’
‘I’d chosen my black dress that went just past my knees. The back was open with long lace sleeves. I’d tied my hair into a high bun and left the curled front as a bang. I’d gone for bold red lipstick, with blusher and really thick eyelashes. I was trying to go for a vintage kind of look and looking at myself it did kind of work.
‘You look stunning,’ Grace said.
‘Really?’ I pulled on my long black coat, the weather wasn’t pleasant.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Yes mum you look great,’ Lloyd said without looking up from the colouring Grace had given him.
I walked over to him, knelt down and lifted his face.
‘Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine and no one will ever take your place,’ I said.
‘I’m not worried, but if that man hurts you I will beat his ass.’
I looked up at Grace who was red and tried not to burst out in laughter.
‘Okay then tiger, I’m glad you’ve got my back.’
Just then there was the familiar knock, my heart raced and I flushed like a little girl. This time Lloyd stood up and walked to the door.
‘Lloyd!’
It was too late as I witnessed my son punch Mark in the groin.
‘Take that as a warning.’
‘Lloyd!’ I pulled him to the side. ‘Grace!’
‘I’m here.’
‘I’m so sorry Mark; I don’t know what’s gotten into him.’
‘Oh my he has one hell of a punch.’ He laughed bent over just a little. ‘I’ll live don’t worry.’
‘I’m so, so sorry.’ I felt so embarrassed. ‘He doesn’t normally act this way.’ I didn’t want him running away from me because of my demon child.
‘Don’t worry honey.’ He leaned in to kiss me. ‘I’ll live, I promise.’
‘Come in a moment.’ I invited him in and we walked into the living room.
‘Lloyd!’
He looked at his activity book.
‘Lloyd.’
This time he looked up at me his bushy curls dangling down his face. I really needed to take him for a hair cut.
‘Please apologise to Mark.’
‘It’s alright,’ said Mark.
‘No it isn’t. Lloyd please apologise to Mark.’
‘Why?’
‘Because we don’t go around punching people just because we feel like it.’
Mark moved forward and knelt down besides him.
‘Hey little man, I totally understand what you mean and I respect that. I promise I will not hurt your mummy.’
Lloyd looked up at him and pursed his lips deciding whether or not he believed him.
‘Okay, I’m sorry I hit you.’
‘That’s okay.’ He patted his shoulder, stood up, smiled at me and winked.
I was totally impressed and now my heart had just melted at the way he’d handled it.
‘Wow, you were good,’ I said as we entered the car.
‘I love kids I just don’t have any of my own.’
‘Maybe one day you will.’ I patted his leg.
He took me out for a drink first which was nice. I ordered a glass of Sauvignon cabernet. It had been a while since I’d had a glass of wine. It relaxed me and I enjoyed speaking to him. An hour later Mark took me to an Italian restaurant. Something strange happened just ten minutes after our arrival. I noticed a tall blond woman enter the restaurant alone. It was hard not to notice her. She was strikingly beautiful and seemed a little uptight. She sat just two tables away from us staring around the room nervously. As I looked up from the menu from her to Mark then back at her I noticed his demeanour change.
‘Is something the matter?’ I asked.
‘Will you excuse me a minute.’ He got up and headed straight for the woman.
I watched as he sat down and even though they tried to speak in low the voices were heated. He put his hand on hers and tried to calm her down but it was proving difficult. She began pointing at me and at that moment I looked away, what the hell? He stood up and came back to me, his face flushed.
‘I’m sorry about this but I think we’re going to have to cut this dinner short.’
‘Pardon!’ Had he just cancelled our date?
‘I’m truly sorry, I –’
‘Who is that woman Mark?’
‘Can we talk later please I’m going to have to get you a taxi.’
This time I was furious!
‘You can at least tell me who she is.’ Tears welled up in my eyes, what the hell was going on? I deserved an explanation.
He gritted his teeth, I could tell he was uncomfortable as he rang me a taxi. I turned to face the lady with a mind to go up and ask her who the hell she was but she looked around the room aimlessly and then at Mark. Mark nodded and mouthed he was coming and she nodded.
‘Taxi will be here in two minutes.’
‘So you’re not going to tell me who she is?’ I was almost in tears.
‘Please Hazel can we talk about this later.’
‘I don’t think so!’ I stood up.
‘Just give me one second.’ He rushed off back to the woman and whispered something to her, she nodded and then he was back. ‘Let me walk you to the cab.’
I said nothing, my body felt numb, I felt like a fool.
The taxi pulled up to the kerb, my heart thudded and all I wanted to do was cry. He opened the door for me to get in then handed the taxi driver forty pounds.
‘I’m so sorry I promise I will explain everything to you. Please don’t sign me off before you’ve heard everything.’
‘I don’t know Mark.’ I was in tears now.
‘Please.’
‘At least tell me who she is.’
He took a deep breath then crouched down with the door still opened.
‘She’s my wife,’ he said.
The knife dug deep and twisted in my heart. That gut feeling I’d felt in the park and had ignored came back to torture me.
You should have listened! You should have listened!
It tormented.
‘Your wife?!’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘I bet it is.’ I pushed him aside and pulled the door closed and asked the taxi to take me home.
Mark stood frozen, his hands in his pockets as he watched the taxi pull away.
****
‘B
ack so soon?’ asked Grace.
‘Is Lloyd asleep?’
‘Yes only just went.’
I bursted into tears.
‘Oh Hazel what’s the matter.’ She rushed over and took me into a hug. ‘What’s happened?’
Grace kept me in her arms and waited for me to stop crying. She led me to the couch and encouraged me to sit down.
‘What happened?’
I gazed at her then burst into tears again.
‘Has he hurt you?’ She looked really worried. ‘Do I need to call the police?’
‘He has a wiiiife!’ I sounded like a dying animal. ‘A wife, I knew...knew this was too good to be true. I’m a fool!’
‘No you’re not. You said so yourself that if it was just a fling you’d be okay with it.’
‘But he made me fall for him, he asked me to try this relationship with him.’