“
What?
” Jake looked at Keila, now remembering each time he’d wondered if she was crazy.
“Your party wouldn’t let people like me have a public option,” she shrugged, not looking at him. That’s when Jake realized what she was doing. She was purposefully picking a fight to push him away, and, as usual, going straight for his jugular by using politics as her weapon of choice. Did she feel nothing for him?
“You want to do this again?
Now?
” When she wouldn’t look at him he said, “Fine, Keila, let’s have it your way. Let’s argue every time we get too close and let’s tax the hell out of everyone and build a huge commune with a free hospital so all you liberal hippies can spend your days dancing around naked in the rain without any worries.”
The rain was beginning to sprinkle down a little faster, and Jake glared at Keila. But Keila, surprised by his outburst, looked up at him, all wet lashes and bright eyes, and laughed, her expression softening. “Fine by me, I’ll have a grand old time, playing the fiddle while the naked hippies dance. The problem is we’d have to send you away, Jake.”
“Why?” Jake took a step toward her, oblivious to the rain and his anger of just seconds before, aware only of Keila’s laughing eyes. He reached out and curled a wet strand of her hair around his finger.
“You wouldn’t make a very good flower child, what with all your suits and boring ties,” she solemnly answered.
Jake slipped the hand that was playing with her hair to the back of her neck. Her breathing became shallower and her eyes took on a hazy quality. “Well, you’d make a great flower child,” he said before lowering his mouth to hers.
But before he could kiss her, she panicked, and breathlessly reminded him, “You said you wouldn’t kiss me.”
So with much effort and great disappointment, Jake pulled away. Holding his hands up in defeat, he took two steps back, deciding he’d be the one walking away this time.
• • •
Keila’s intense disappointment over not giving in to the kiss was now greater than any fear. She hesitated only a moment before leaping into his arms. Grabbing onto his shirt, she said, “Okay, I’m sorry, I know you think I’m crazy, but please just kiss me anyway.”
Jake looked into her eyes a long burning moment and said “You
are
crazy,” before gently lowering his lips to nip at her neck and the slope between her neck and ear.
Keila shivered, but cold and wet as they both were, Jake’s body radiated warmth. She pushed up to him, pressing her body against his, her lips and breath just hovering over Jake’s now, savoring the intensity of every sensation coursing between them. She brushed her lips against his, and then nipped at his lower lip, wanting every dizzying feeling to last. He was torturing her by not kissing her on the lips.
Her reaction to him heightened to a point where she felt a craving she’d never felt before. Jake lowered his hands to her waist, pulled her toward him, and plunged into her mouth with a deep possessiveness that left her feverish and faint.
When Keila came up for air and strength, Jake swiftly gathered her into his arms and carried her inside to an old, worn couch where they hungrily kissed, touched, and explored.
She couldn’t remember when it was that it stopped raining, and when it was that darkness began to fall because she was only aware of Jake’s body beside hers, his breath, and lips. It was a long time before anything else mattered.
Finally, when they could no longer ignore hunger pangs, they prepared a late Thanksgiving lasagna dinner together, Keila barely able to cook while Jake distracted her with his hands and mouth. They shared a plate on an old recliner, Keila feeling oddly snug and at home on Jake’s lap.
• • •
“What do you want to do now? Do you want to watch some TV? One of the CSI shows is probably on tonight.” Jake said when they finished eating. Keila put her head on his shoulder and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so peaceful and content.
“Ugh. I hate those shows. The good guys always win.”
“I thought you of all people would like that.”
“Well, that’s not how it is in real life and it gets to me. I really can’t stand to watch any of those shows,” she replied, a hard edge to her voice.
This was about her father, Jake instantly understood. He propped her chin up, looked into her eyes and kissed her once, softly.
Keila sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to overreact. I know it’s just a show.”
“I get it,” Jake said, and meant it.
Keila was quiet for a while. Her thoughts had clearly gone elsewhere. When she finally spoke, it seemed as if she’d come to a conclusion. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop being angry about what happened to my dad.”
“I’d be angry too,” Jake said softly, running his hand along her hair.
“At least I’m not angry at my dad anymore. I went through this phase where I was so mad at him for choosing to be a policeman … ” Her voice, tinged with guilt, trailed off and she was thoughtful again.
“Did they ever catch whoever did it?” he gently asked.
“He was killed in the cross-fire, so at least he isn’t running around free. I don’t think any of us could have gotten over that. But I wish he could’ve rotted away in prison instead, you know? It feels like instant death wasn’t enough of a punishment.”
“You’re against capital punishment, then?” he asked, genuinely interested in the point of view of someone who’d lost her father to violence.
“Of course I’m against it, like I said, I think losing your freedom is a fate worse than death. But I’ll bet you’re all for it. We’ll probably never see eye-to-eye on anything,” she remarked.
Jake kissed her. “How about we agree that you’ll always be on the opposite side of where I stand?”
“Sounds good to me.” She laid her head on his shoulder again and asked, “Speaking of sides, why do you really want to be mayor?”
“Because Chicago is the greatest city in the world.”
“That’s not a real answer! I know plenty of people who feel the same way and not one of them would ever think of running for mayor.”
Jake looked at her. “Fine. I don’t know. I believe in it, I guess, the way I believe in very few things. To me, it lives and breathes and never dies. It’s always changing, adapting, and surviving. Ever since I can remember I’ve been coming up with ideas to help it continue its journey.” He stopped and picked at a loose thread on Keila’s jeans. “And it’s always been about the people, you know? Past and present. Chicago was built on the backs of people who believed those who came after them would have the opportunity to get an education and find work to provide them with a good life. I want to make sure everyone has that opportunity, knows it, and understands the rest is up to them.” He looked up at her now, and her eyes were so bright and clear that he knew she believed him. It made him want to kiss her, as deeply as ever, and he moved his hand to the back of her neck to do just that. But before her lips touched his, she said, “That’s what you should always say. You should open yourself up to the people you want to help the way you open up to me … well, the way you open up to me
sometimes
.”
Jake looked at her again, surprised at her last words. Had he been opening up to her without even realizing it? But she put her hands around his neck, pulling him in for the kiss he’d started, and he forgot to care.
• • •
A long time after their late supper, Keila was backed up against the door to her room, Jake’s hands and mouth making her feel breathless and just a little bit desperate and unfulfilled. Jake seemed to notice because he broke away and said, “I don’t think I have any restraint left in me, and I don’t want this to lead somewhere you’ll regret.” Taking a deep breath he added, “Maybe we should just say goodnight.”
“You’ve shown restraint?”
Jake’s eyes flashed with so much heat and promise that Keila wasn’t sure she could take it. She pushed him away, effectively dismissing him. “Good night, Jake. Now, goodbye,” she said.
He laughed and some of the tension melted away. “Okay, I’ll leave. Just give me one more good night kiss. A little one.”
She sighed in mock exasperation and gave him an unsatisfactory peck on the cheek. “There. Good night.”
He took her hands in his, and kissed each of her palms before turning to leave.
But the moment she felt his roughened palms she hesitated, holding on to his hands, and thinking about how they revealed a different side to him. Without thinking, she brought them up to her lips and kissed each of his palms, too.
He looked down at her and she looked up at him. The tension was back.
Hooking a finger in the front of her jeans, he pulled her closer. Her breath hitched. He picked her up, not breaking eye contact, and set her down on her bed. Soon, he was sliding her sweater up over her head. The moment she felt the cool air on her skin she backed away.
• • •
Before they could go further, Keila pulled away once more, fear alive in her eyes. But she didn’t go very far, she just lay on her side, looking at him with wide, apprehensive eyes. Though he was all wound up inside, he didn’t want to pressure her. He mimicked her position, and they just gazed at each other for a while. He began tracing a finger down her arm, and smiled when he saw goose bumps immediately appear.
“Do you think maybe we just have great physical chemistry but we’re too different to
really
get along?” she asked. He watched the swell of her breasts as she breathed in and out. His mouth went dry and he could barely think. Aching, he looked away and tried to remember what she’d asked.
“Just because we think differently, doesn’t mean we don’t get along. I think both our hearts are in the right place. Yours just bleeds too much.” He smiled and grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “I like how deeply you feel things, Keila. And I’m fascinated by how quickly you go from one emotion to another.”
“Are you calling me emotional again?”
“Let’s just say I never have to guess what you’re feeling,” he answered, before more thoughtfully adding, “And if you hadn’t acted on your feelings, we would’ve missed out on this weekend.” The thought of missing out on Keila and everything they’d been experiencing disturbed him. He pulled her close, wound his arms around her, and softly kissed her forehead, fearful she’d try to send him away again. Right now, he needed her.
• • •
There was such a world of feeling behind that one innocent kiss, it was hard for Keila not to be moved. He then set her atop him, and she lay on his chest, feeling his heart beat wildly beneath her. “You make me forget everything I know,” she said.
“And you make me doubt everything I think I know,” he replied; kissing her shoulder and unhitching the back of her bra.
Keila lay still, reveling at every sensation and wondering at the difference between their confessions. She had no doubts. No matter how wrapped up in the moment she felt, and no matter how far away real life seemed, she knew this whole thing was impossible. Jake had two things Keila couldn’t deal with; a far-removed life she could never feel a part of, and, more importantly, the ability to permanently break her heart. She’d take this weekend and then walk away for good with a hurting heart, but not one in pieces.
Jake rolled her so that he was atop her, propped on his elbows. His mouth hot, he kissed her slowly as his hands slipped under her bra. The moment she felt his burning hands on her sensitive skin, there was no turning back. Barely breathing, she said, “Jake, I’m … I’m scared. I’ve never wanted anyone like this.”
He held her to him, and she felt two, out of control heartbeats. “Believe it or not, Keila, neither have I. Not like this.” He looked into her eyes then, and kissed her thoroughly, while his hands moved over her, warm and gentle, easing her into delicious intimacy. Piece by piece, she melted into him, trying hard to keep her heart to herself.
Before long, she was responding to every kiss and every touch with urgency. He fulfilled newfound needs, and just when she thought nothing could feel better, he lifted her to dizzying heights and free-fell with her into sensations she never knew existed.
The way he looked at her and the way he wrapped himself around her, breathing her in … for a while she let herself believe this wasn’t just about a man and a woman needing one night. This was about her and Jake needing each other.
The next morning, Keila slept later than usual because she’d barely slept at all during the night. Trying to not think was harder work than thinking and it had taken her nearly all night to push intrusive curiosities about Jake away. Suddenly, she wanted to know everything about him. She showered, got dressed, took her violin out, and practiced for a full hour before the smell of sausage and eggs wafted up to her.
Sooner or later, she’d have to eat. And sooner or later, she’d have to face Jake. The day before now seemed surreal and she wondered how they’d behave toward each other. Would they acknowledge it had been a mistake to let themselves get caught up in a runaway attraction? Or would they continue down a path she just wasn’t sure of?
Keila hoped they would pick up where they left off until the weekend was over,
then
they could acknowledge the mistake, and then she could go home and regret it. Simple plan … except she wasn’t sure how to pick up where they left off. What if she kissed him good morning and he pushed her away, wanting to acknowledge the mistake sooner rather than later?
Keila strolled in to the kitchen with a call of “Good morning,” served herself breakfast and then said, “Thank you for breakfast,” all without looking at Jake.
He didn’t try to make small talk, just acknowledged her muttering with a murmur or two of his own.
Once she finished eating, she got up to wash the skillet and dishes, and Jake came up beside her to give her his plate and help her dry everything off.
“I need to get a dishwasher in here,” he muttered.