Strapped: A Second Chance Mafia Romance (23 page)

S
ophia is mad
.

I don’t know why, or who at, but she isn’t herself. I can feel it as she hugs me, and as she pulls away, and it damn near kills me. It breaks my heart to see her in such a state, but it’s hardly surprising after everything that she’s been through. She’s lost the entire foundation that her life was built upon before now, so realistically something like this was bound to happen eventually. I wish that I could do something to help her through it but as I don’t really understand, there isn’t anything that I can say. I know I’ve lost one of my parents too, but my mom passed away when I was too young to remember. I can’t even remember what she looks like. I have a few photographs of her, but that’s it.

I sigh deeply as Sophia walks away from me to go into the shower, feeling hopeless and sad. Right now, until all of this mess with Aiden is behind us, I’m pretty much stuck in the middle of it, which is hard for someone who likes to have control over everything.

Getting rid of Aiden is the only thing I
can
start to sort, so I suppose I should just get the hell on with it already. I step out onto the balcony, wanting to make some phone calls in private. I don’t want Sophia to overhear anything that will make her uncomfortable, and I also don’t want her to know anything of my plans just in case she is ever captured. If the Irish get a hint that she knows
anything
, they’ll torture her until she confesses anything. Of course, I have no intention of her getting caught, but there’s no way I can be
too
safe when it comes to her.

“Diego,” I start as soon as he picks up the phone. “What’s going on?”

“Man, is it true that you spoke to Aiden?” Wow, word gets around fast! “Did he threaten you? What did he say? Are we going in now? I heard from Umberto that he’s planning to put together a large group… is that true?”

“I haven’t heard that yet,” I say happily, glad that it seems my father has
finally
come around to my way of thinking. “But that sounds great to me. I will give him a call in a bit and set up all the details.” I can’t believe that it’s taken such a long time for my dad to agree to my plan, but I’m happy that he finally has. It means that he’s started to see reason. “I’ll let you know as soon as I have anything for you.”

“Great, man. God, this is all a bit mental, isn’t it?”

“I know,” I tell him. “But it won’t last forever. It’ll all be over soon enough, trust me.”

“What do you think will happen then?” Diego asks me. “When the Irish mafia are overthrown?”

I try to imagine a world for us without enemies but it seems too far away to really dream about at the moment. It’ll give us much more territory and space to conduct our lives, which will be wonderful… but also maybe a little… empty.

I don’t know if it’s Sophia’s influence on me, but suddenly everything that I’ve always held dear doesn’t seem quite as important as it once was. A life of crime and power isn’t as appealing as it once was, which leaves me with… well, I don’t know what. I have worked toward this my entire life, so I don’t exactly have any skills or qualifications that could help me get something better. I honestly don’t know what I would do without the mob.

Not that it’s something I should be thinking about at the time being. Not with everything that’s currently going on.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” I tell him, wanting to end that conversation quickly. “I’ll speak to you later.”

“See ya, man, bye!”

I hang up the phone with a much more positive attitude. It seemed that I had finally made my point enough for it to go through, and that was amazing. That means that things were finally about to go my way. To be honest because my dad has been acting so weak, deep down I was starting to believe that maybe he was somehow in on the plot with Aiden, and that I was about to be betrayed now too.

But it seems like my fears were wrong, and that we’re
finally
going to attack.

I’m glad – the thought of my whole life being based on a lie would be far too much for me to comprehend. Even considering it gives me a newfound respect for Sophia, she’s lost everything and although she’s sad now, she’s actually been doing really well.

I guess all that I can really do is just be there for her when she needs me the most.

I step into my kitchen and pour myself a tumbler of whiskey, despite knowing that it’s probably far too early in the day to start drinking – I just need something to steady my nerves before I go all in with this – then I sit at the breakfast bar and I send a message to my dad. He might be agreeing with me now, but I don’t think that either of us is ready for an actually conversation. I don’t want to spark another argument just in case it leads him to do another U-turn.

‘Hi dad, just spoke to Diego. Is there a plan now? E’

After what feels like only a few seconds, a reply pings back through.

‘Yes, will keep you updated when I have something for you.’

Of course, this frustrates me endlessly because I need something more to go on, but I know that it’s progress for now and that I have to be happy with that much.

‘Thank you.’

It’s only when my brain stops whirring with the possibilities the future could actually hold for me now that I notice Sophia has been a very long time in the shower. I tiptoe over to the door, not wanting to disturb her if she’s just spending the time rejuvenating, but when I can’t hear the water running, I knock.

“Sophia?” I ask through the door. “Are you okay?”

Silence. A long, resounding silence that seems to reverberate off the walls.

“Sophia?” I tug on the door handle, starting to feel a small knot of worry forming in my stomach. “Are you alright? Do you need help?” Images of her being passed out inside that room are quickly replaced by pictures of her being shot by Aiden’s sniper rifle, and the worry becomes a full-blown terror that consumes all of my body. “Sophia? I’m coming in.”

The door is locked, but I don’t intend that to stop me. I’ll break it down. I need to get in there and that’s the end of it. I don’t know why Sophia isn’t answering me, but I have to find out. She can’t have anything to hide from me anyway, I’ve already seen her naked! Anything else won’t matter to me, as long as she’s alright.

I grab the axe that I have sitting by the bedside cabinet just in case of emergencies, and I start to hack at the door.

“Get back, Sophia,” I call out pointlessly, just in case. “I’m breaking in. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I hack and smash until sweat is pouring down my forehead and my arms are aching with it all, but even that doesn’t stop me. I’ll find some superhuman strength if I have to, just to check that my wife is safe.

And finally, after what feels like forever, the door cracks open, and what I find is a very empty room and a wide open window.

“What the fuck?” I mutter to myself, wandering around the room. I already know what’s happened here, but it’s taking a while for my brain to process and accept that. The evidence is staring me in the face, but I don’t want it to be the truth.

She can’t have gone, I won’t have it.

I race into the bedroom, wanting to check that I haven’t missed a trick, just in case I’m freaking out for nothing, but not only is Sophia not in the room, neither is any of her stuff.

She’s gone, she’s actually left me.

For a minute, I stand in one place allowing my heart to thump painfully against my chest. There are tears behind my eyes, but I’m too worked up to let them fall. This is overwhelming, too much for me, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand why Sophia has left – even though there could be tons of reasons – and that’s making me feel sick.

No, no, no.

I can almost hear the sound of my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. I really thought that we were getting somewhere, that we were going over the trust issues and that we were building something real, a relationship that wasn’t just based on the sham marriage.

It seems like I was wrong.

But then I think about everything that she’s said to me, and I remember the look in her eye as we made love, and I know for a fact that she does feel something for me. This isn’t to do with me, it’s fear, a reaction to everything going on around us.

That’s it,
I snap into action.
I’m going to get her back.

I tug my phone out of my pocket and I dial Liam’s number. He was here today, maybe he knows something… and even if not, he can at least round up the others to help me find her. I know that this challenge is too much for me to take on alone – the city is a massive place after all and she could already be anywhere!

“Liam?” I gasp into the phone, allowing my terror to flow through me. “I need you. Sophia’s gone missing.”

“Missing, what do you mean?” He instantly snaps back. “Did you let her go and see her mom?”

“Wait, what?” Am I missing something, what is this guy on about?

“She didn’t tell you?” He’s stressing now, I can hear it in his voice. “A while before you got home, she came outside all freaked out saying that she needed to leave to meet her mom.” Why didn’t she tell me that? I would have gone with her if she really wanted to see her mom.

What if her mom has somehow managed to turn her against me?

“We didn’t let her go, we told her that she had to talk to you about it…” Liam is panicking now, and it’s making him nervous talk, which is irritating me. I just need the necessary facts here.

“Did she say where?” This mystery needs solving now. I won’t let it go by anymore without doing something about it. The last time Sophia went out alone, she was badly hurt. I can’t allow that to happen again – if Aiden got Arial to betray Sophia, there’s nothing to suggest that he won’t be able to do the same to her mom too.

“Erm, no, she didn’t, now you mention it.”

“Okay, never mind.” I sigh sadly. “Call the boys, we need to find her. If Aiden gets hold of Sophia, we’re all in trouble.”

“Will do.”

As he hangs up the phone, I send out a group text to everyone too, just wanting to grasp anyone that Liam might miss. I want everyone on the case, to get this solved as quickly as possible.

Where are you, Sophia?
I think as I gather up everything that I’m going to need for this journey.
Where are you going? Do you intend to come back to me? Is this you leaving me forever…?

Actually, that might not be a question that I want to know the answer to.

I
wait
in the bathroom until I hear Enzo creeping out onto the balcony to make some phone calls. He doesn’t think that I’ve noticed, but he always does that when a conversation is private, which is exactly what I was planning on. As soon as his back is turned, I race to the bedroom and grab my bag, before making my way outside.

My heart is racing with anticipation the entire time and I know I’m acting like a crazy mess, but as long as I can keep it together for long enough to get the hell out of here, I’ll be okay. I’m sure I will. I hope I will at any rate…

As soon as I manage to get out of Enzo’s apartment undetected, I run down the street and keep on moving as fast as my body will let me until I’m absolutely breathless. I keep expecting someone to grab me, but it seems like I’ve actually managed to gain some freedom because no one does. Not the Irish or the Italians – I’m actually shocked at how well my plan has worked itself out.

I’m coming, mom,
I think determinedly to myself.
Just wait for me. Please wait for me.

I hope and pray that she’s still at the mall, but I can’t be sure. It has been quite a while since I said I would meet her there – she could have given up. It’ll be a bit shitty of her if she has, but then again she has always been a selfish woman. I’ve spent my entire life living under her shadow, watching her out herself first over and over again, and I have no real reason to believe that she wouldn’t do that again. I can hope that dad’s death has at least shocked her into being a better person, so that something good has come from it, but that might just be a pipe dream on my part.

I accepted that she was never going to change a long time ago, but maybe it’s time to open my heart a bit, to give her a chance.

I gave Enzo a chance. Why not her?

“Aiden has been trying desperately to get Enzo to allow him to meet with you…”

“Aiden saw Enzo’s dad at the scene of the crime.”

“Enzo has been threatening us all like crazy, it’s been really horrible. He even told me that he killed you already.”

I cannot get those words out of my mind. They’re spinning around and around constantly, starting to become like a mantra, like the words I need to keep me going.

For a few moments, I lean over and grab my knees panting, trying to recover enough to keep on moving. This really isn’t a great time for me to be stopping on my insane great escape mission, but I’m far too exhausted to carry on. I really should have thought ahead and brought some money with me to pay for some kind of getaway vehicle. It was foolish of me to try and do it with nothing, I can’t even afford to get a bus! I’m by a bus depot and I can’t even afford to get on one! It’s silliness.

I slump down on the nearest bench, and I watch the world go by for a moment as I try to reorganize my thoughts. As I wait for my body to return to normal, I begin feeling much less liberated, and much more vulnerable and afraid.

What the hell was I thinking? Running away like this?

Now Enzo doesn’t even know where I am or what I’m doing. He can’t save me like he did last time because I made the insane and rash choice to shut him out, and although I would like to think that my mom wouldn’t do anything to betray me, I had much more faith in my best friend than I do her… and look how that turned out.

Would you try to get me killed, mom? Would you really betray me too?

I honestly don’t know the answer to that question, and that’s really scary.

What should I do? Should I continue on forward, hear my mom out? Try to find out the Irish version of events, or should I go back to Enzo? The one man who has put me first through all of this? Everything is a mess in my brain, and I find that absolutely terrifying. I have never felt so damn alone in my entire life – I don’t even have someone impartial that I could call for advice. Everyone has an agenda… no one simply cares about me.

Or maybe they do, but I don’t know who.

Urgh, this is horrible. Maybe I should just wait for the next bus and beg the driver to let me on for free. If I tell the person that my life is in danger, then surely they’ll take me far away from here? Maybe I should just get as far away from here as possible. Finally make the escape that I planned all those months ago. It was the life that I had planned out for myself anyway… why not go along with that? Why not try and become an actress or a dancer or something? Why stay here where my life is in danger every damn day? What’s the point of that?

I could go on the run, leave everyone and everything behind. Okay, so I have no money and no connections, but I can figure it out, surely? I could somehow make a life for myself… couldn’t I?

I imagine myself living alone, really trying something different, something much safer, but all of a sudden it doesn’t feel quite as appealing as it once did. I hate to admit it, even to myself, but without Enzo in the picture, it just seems… boring. It’s not just the attraction that I have with him, it’s that connection and bond. It’s this
thing
that we’ve been building up for the last few weeks, it feels so intense, so real, and I’m not sure if I can really just leave that all behind. I know that he might be the bad guy here, but at the same time, he might not be.

If I left, I would miss him – probably forever. I don’t know if I would ever be able to move on, to be with someone else. I don’t know if I would ever be able to be with someone else after experiencing what I have with Enzo.

In fact, I miss him right now.

I stand up, sighing to myself, planning to go back to him where I know I really need to be with a big apology in my heart, when all of a sudden I feel a massive thump from behind me. I stagger forwards trying to get a grip of myself, but before I can even spin around to see who has bumped into me, everything goes completely black.

A bag has been thrown over my head. I can no longer see anything.

“Help!” I try to cry, but the shock and fear has rendered me pretty much speechless. I can get a little bit of sound out, but not enough to attract any kind of attention. I’m very aware that if I don’t do something soon, things will get really bad for me, even worse than they already are, but it’s as if my entire body has gone into some kind of frozen shock. I’m icy, stiff, and I couldn’t do anything even if I really wanted to.

Then some arms wrapped around me, and I couldn’t struggle even if my body was working correctly. I’m being held so closely, so tightly, I almost can’t breathe.

I’m tossed into the air, and when my body hits with a thump on the ground, I can hear a metallic sound to my surroundings. I fear that it’s a vehicle, and when the engine starts rumbling beneath me that’s confirmed.

Holy fuck, I’m being taken somewhere!
I don’t even know who’s taking me, never mind where I’m going, and that has me sick with worry.

I try to stand up, to feel my way around the van to try and glean something that could help me, but the driver is going too fast, and driving too erratically for me to be able to get steady on my feet. I pull the bag up for a second, trying to see someone, but all I can spot is never-ending white. It’s almost as if this van has been designed for this exact purpose.

“Ní mór dúinn í.” I hear a male voice say gruffly. My brain kicks in quickly, trying to work out what’s being said. If I can hear where we’re going then maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to do something to help myself. Unfortunately, my Gaelic isn’t great, I only know bits and pieces, but I do my best. “nuair ba chóir dúinn a thabhairt di?”

The only thing I can be sure of is that he’s saying he has me. This is it, the moment that all of this has been working up towards. I’m so obviously being taken to Aiden, and he will finally be able to do with me whatever it is that he wants.

My heart sinks as I imagine being kept by him, tortured by him, probably killed by him.

What will my mom do when there really isn’t anyone left?

It really doesn’t bear thinking about.

What will Enzo do when he hears what’s happened to me?

If he comes after Aiden and fights, it’s likely that he will end up dead too – a thought that surprisingly makes me feel sadder than the prospect of my own demise – but I can’t imagine him just letting it go either.

Urgh, I feel like such an idiot! I feel like I’ve been manipulated at every twist and turn, and that I’ve constantly not trusted Enzo, the only one who has actually proven that he cares about me. Yes, he has an agenda, but actually his agenda doesn’t seem to be loyalty to the Italian mafia, it’s been to me.

What a twat!

I feel awful that the last thing I’ll have done is betray Enzo. I don’t even have my phone to be able to contact him. As I rushed off, I didn’t want it with me because I didn’t want to be able to speak to him, and now I regret that like crazy.

I love you, Enzo,
I think sadly to myself.
I never got the chance to tell you, but I do.

I think of only him, wanting his face to be the last thing that’s on my mind. If I’m going to die, then I want it to be with the love of my life in my mind. It’s been him from the start of this, he’s the one that’s been constant. I’m the one that’s screwed things up over and over again, and now I can see what a fool I’ve been.

I half want him to come after me, to save my life once more, but I also don’t want him to throw himself into the firing line on my behalf. I don’t deserve it, not one bit.

All of a sudden, the van stops and my heartrate kicks up a notch. We’re here, I’m about to be presented like a toy to Aiden to allow him to do what he wants to me. The doors swing open, allowing a stream of bright light in, which I can see even under my bag. I scoot backwards until my back hits the wall, my survival instinct pointlessly kicking in, but I don’t get pulled out like I expect to.

Instead, I feel a massive thump to the side of my head, a sickness starts to consume me, and before I can get a grasp on reality once more, everything goes totally black…