Over the next weeks, things between Jake and Jess settled
into a routine. Jess started getting up earlier in the morning, Jake a little
later, so they could have breakfast together. Or at least coffee. It was still
too early for Jess to eat. Then they would head out to their assorted business
for the day. The evenings were filled with laughter and kisses. Lots of kisses.
Sometimes they would sit out on the porch swing, other times they would stay
and watch TV with the group. One night, they’d even gone on a long walk, just
the two of them. She found the night sounds on the ranch soothing. And each
night, he would walk her to her room and drop her at her door with more kisses.
Heated kisses.
She knew people at the ranch had noticed the change between
them. No one had commented directly, but she could see the looks passing
between them. She worried that the closer they got the more it would hurt when
she had to leave. But for now, it was wonderful.
They’d gone into Evanston again that week. They went back to
the design center they’d been to before. Then they went to several other
smaller stores she’d found online, and one they just drove past. They had found
the perfect sinks for the master bath, and some great tiles for the other
bathrooms. They had argued, this time a little more peaceably. He insisted on
buying things she liked, when she wanted him to pick his favorites. The
arguments were loud and heated, but tinged with laughter. She had no idea why
he wanted her opinions, but she knew this house would look amazing when she was
done.
Jess had taken on a lot more projects at the house. Mostly
out of a need to be constructive. This project was nothing like the norm. She
usually had several large projects going at any given time. Since she was
seeing this one through, beginning to end, she found she had too much free
time. So, she kept busy. She’d always done well with construction work. She had
some skill at it, she’d just never had time to use it. Now she found herself
involved in as many projects as Mike would allow. Short of actually putting up
the wall, she was involved in everything. And would be even more involved as
they got to the interior projects, like tiling and cabinetry. She had a vision
and wanted to make sure every detail fell into place.
She was also finding that she really enjoyed working with
her hands. She had an idea forming; it had occurred to her that first day while
she was at dinner with Jake, and as she’d considered it this past week or so,
it seemed even better. Almost perfect in fact. She’d called Cindy the day
before, and she’d agreed. Now, she just needed to talk to Mike. She was hoping
to find time for that sometime in the next few days.
And tonight, everyone was going into town again. Another
night of dancing and revelry. She was really looking forward to it. She’d
already decided what she would wear as well as what she would wear underneath
it. She’d picked out her skimpiest black lace lingerie. She truly hoped Jake
would get to see it.
She checked her watch, headed around to find Mike. It was
time to let everyone knock off for the day. As she walked into the house, she
found Mike already cleaning up, and the others doing the same.
“Hey, you heading into town with all of us?” Jess smiled at
Mike, waving at some of the other guys on the crew.
“Yeah, probably. Are you and Jake going? I figured you’d
stay here.” He wiggled his eyebrows, leering suggestively.
She laughed. Trust Mike to jump right to the suggestive. But
she really liked the casual use of her and Jake together. Probably more than
she should. “We were planning to go, yeah. We can always get to the eye wiggle
later.”
“So, is it okay if I ask how it’s going? Or is that topic
off limits?”
“No, not off limits. It’s good. At least I think it’s good.
I really kind of like him. He’s not nearly as much of an ass as he came off in
the beginning.”
“I didn’t think so. I always thought it was just you. You
brought out the assness.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Thanks so much for that.”
He laughed. “That’s not what I meant. There was obviously
some chemistry between you guys. I think it just needed an outlet. He was a
jerk, you were the ice bitch.”
He laughed as she glared at him. “Come on, you know you do
that. Anyway, now that you guys have found the, uh, proper outlet, you’re
getting along fine.”
Jess looked away uncomfortably, shrugging her shoulders and
turning around.
Mike must have noticed the reaction. “Wait, you have found
the outlet, right?”
Jess looked at him, feeling her cheeks heat up.
“Jess, really? Why the hell not?”
“It’s not like it’s any of your business, but, well, I’m
still a virgin.” She stood, shoulders back, defiant and scared all at the same
time.
Mike looked stunned. “How is that even possible? I mean,
back in college everyone wanted you. There was a line around the corner. You
never…?”
“No, and there was no line. Mike, most guys were afraid of
me. Except you.”
“Ok, so Jake is afraid of you?”
Jess laughed. “Yes and no. Not like the others, but me being
a… well, it makes him nervous. I don’t think he likes the idea of being my
first. Especially since I’m a lot older than most.”
She watched the thoughts run across his face. Mike had
always been an open book. After a minute of debating how he should react, he
apparently decided on humor. He walked up to her, slid his hands around her
waist and leaned in to leer at her. “Well, I could take care of that for him.”
He wiggled his eyebrows again.
She threw her head back and laughed just as Mike picked her
up and swung her in a circle. This was exactly what Jake saw when he walked in.
She didn't notice Jake was even in the room until he grabbed her arm and swung
her around to face him. She was startled by the hands on her arm, but she was
even more concerned by the look on Jake's face. His comment about not sharing,
his history with Karen, all flashed through her mind. “Jake, wait, it’s not
what you…”
His lips crashed down on hers. He pulled her to him,
crushing her body against his as he plundered her mouth. Just when Jess was
sure she was going under, was just about to jump up and wrap herself around
him, he pulled back, setting her slightly away from him.
“Hi,” was all Jake said.
“Ummm, hi.”Her voice sounded as breathless as she felt.
“I came to tell you that I can’t make it tonight. One of our
mares just went into labor. Do you want to go with everyone? Or you can stay
here, help me in the barn?”
His voice sounded deeper than normal. Jess wasn’t sure if it
was from anger or desire, but it was making her nerves tingle. “I’ll stay here.
I liked seeing the foal born last time.”
He smiled, kissed her cheek and turned to go. He stopped right
as he reached the door, and tossed back over his shoulder, “Mike, if I ever
catch you with your hands on her again, I’ll rip your arms out of their
sockets.” He tossed one quick glance over his shoulder. Then he left.
It was silent in the room for a minute. The few crew members
that were still there seemed to be waiting on her response before they reacted
at all. Jess was stunned. Mike was staring, almost blankly.
Finally Jess turned, looked at Mike and said, “Well.”
Mike laughed, long and loud. He laughed until he had tears
rolling down his face. Jess joined in. Soon, they were both sitting on the
concrete subflooring, holding their sides and wiping their eyes as the laughter
subsided.
As Jess was still trying to recover Mike said, “I don’t
think the virgin thing will be a problem for long, sweetheart. There’s enough
heat between you two that the temperature in here just went up twenty degrees.”
Jess looked at Mike. He looked a little sad. She smiled
softly at him. “You’re not in love with me, you know.”
A look of astonishment crossed his face. “You love me, just
like I love you. Like I love Cindy. But you’re not
in
love with me. I’m
comfortable, like your favorite boots. I’m not sure yet, but I don’t think
love, real love, is comfortable. At least not for years. If you had really been
in love with me, then we wouldn’t still be friends. We would have hurt each
other too much when we broke up in college.”
“Maybe you’re right. But, for what it’s worth, I want to be
in
love with you. I can’t think of a woman I would rather be with.”
“Only because you haven’t found her yet. When you do you’ll
realize I’m right, Mike. But you’ll always be my friend, right?” She didn’t
know how they’d gotten so serious, but the question needed to be answered.
“I’ll always be your friend, Jess. Always. So, are you in
love with Jake?”
“I don’t know. I know it’s not comfortable. It’s painful and
scary. It’s passion and laughter. I never quite know what to expect from him.
Like just now. There are comfortable moments, even peaceful ones, but there’s
always something else under it.”
“Have you told him yet? That you love him?”
“I’m not sure I do.”
Mike rolled his eyes, then he just looked at her. The kind
of look that forced her to be honest with herself. “Yeah, I love him.” She blew
the breath out, one she didn’t realize she’d been holding.
“Why don’t you tell him? I think you’ll be surprised with
the response.” He got to his feet and held out a hand for her. “Come on,
everyone’s gone, let’s finish up and get out of here. I have some dancing to do
and you have a horse to deliver.”
As they walked toward the main house, she looked over at
him. “Mike, for what it’s worth, I wish I could have been
in
love with
you too. But, it would never be worth losing your friendship. I don’t think you
really know just how important that is to me.”
He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Thanks. Me
too.” He strolled away, off to the house to shower, leaving her to head to her
room to change. Jess went in to find some grubbies, remembering how messy Jake
had gotten last time. All of a sudden, she was excited. She was going to spend
the evening alone with the man she loved. There was nothing better than that.
Even if she had to share him with a horse.
* * * * *
Jake waited in the barn. He’d grabbed a sandwich earlier,
unsure when the mare would deliver. Since he was alone and it was quiet, he had
plenty of time to contemplate his reaction earlier. He knew he’d surprised her.
She’d expected anger, yelling. Which was understandable, considering the last
time he’d found her in Mike’s arms. He rolled his eyes, huffing out a breath
after that thought. Why did he seem to keep finding her in Mike’s arms?
When he first saw them this afternoon, his immediate
reaction had been fury. Even though he could see it was innocent. He knew she
didn’t love Mike, not like that. He knew they were friends. And he knew that if
he found them like that again, he would beat the crap out of Mike. He didn’t
understand his reaction any more now than he had then. When he saw her, his
first and only thought had been,
Mine
. He’d wanted to claim her in front
of everyone. He’d wanted to make sure that everyone knew she belonged to him.
He’d never felt that way, not even with Karen. He wasn’t sure what it meant,
but it scared him. He looked up, sensing her even before she spoke.
She must have been standing there watching him for awhile.
He forced a mellow smile just as she said, “Hey there. How’s it goin’?”
She looked amazing. He knew she was wearing old clothes she
didn’t mind getting dirty, and she still looked phenomenal. He smiled, a real
smile, when she plunked down next to him, leaning over for a quick kiss. “It’s
good. She’s moving along just like she’s supposed to. Shouldn’t be too much
longer. A few hours maybe. Thanks for stayin’ with me tonight. I’m sure dancing
would be more fun.”
She shook her head. “I’d much rather be here.” She paused,
looking down at her fingernails. “Jake, about earlier…”
“Yeah, about that… Should I apologize?” He didn’t want to.
He'd meant everything he’d said. But, if she was upset he would apologize for
that.
“What? No. I need to apologize. Once again, it wasn’t what
it looked like. But I feel bad that you keep seeing things that I have to keep
explaining. I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t what it looked like, huh?” She shook her head.
“So, it wasn’t Mike jokingly offering to take your virginity, and you laughing
at him? At least, I assume he was joking.”
She looked stunned. Finally she managed to mumble, “Well,
yes, but it
was
a joke.”
“Do you mind if I ask what led up to that? I only caught him
grabbing you and making the offer.”
Jess slapped her hand to her head. “God, I’m so sorry.
Especially after Karen. How were you so calm?”
Jake shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t. Not really.”
She blew out a slow breath. “Okay, we were talking about us.
Me and you. He asked how things were going, I said good. He said he figured we
had found another outlet for all the yelling we were doing when we first met. I
finally blurted out that we hadn’t used that outlet just yet, because you were
nervous since I was a virgin. When Mike gets uncomfortable he makes
inappropriate jokes. He always has. That’s what you saw. Along with me laughing.
Which was probably why he said it in the first place. That’s it, I swear.” She
had blurted all this out at lightning speed, so he was still trying to process
the words when she looked over, waiting for his response.
“So, you think I’m nervous, huh?” He couldn't seem to stop
the smirk at that thought. Slowly, Jess nodded.
With a shrug, he answered. “Could be. You see, you’ve waited
a really long time. I kind of want it to be perfect for you. And since I can’t
seem to control myself all that well around you, I’m having a hard time finding
that perfect moment. But I will. And you’ll know it.”